One Shot Collection (December-January 2013)

Random one shots that I wrote in December and January.
The original post was getting a little too big.
Sooooo I decided to split up the random one shots post.

>Day Nameless in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shower, shit, shave.
>Go downstairs to fire up the coffee pot
>You go a lot to keep in order today, it's your job.
>knock knock at the door
>It's Pinkie Pie.
>Ugh, you fucking hate her.
>Always ruining shit.
>"You know what I'm here for. Be a good bitch and go upstairs."
"Fine."
>Go upstairs strip clothes.
>You know the routine she does it on a daily bases.
>"That's good boy. Bend over bitch."
"But, but-"
>"DO IT!!"
>You do as you're told.
>Pinkie pulls out a strap-on dildo.
"Oh God Pinkie please! NO!!"
>"I don't gotta listen to you, I said bend over damn it!!"
>Cry like a little bitch in the process.
>Pinkie laughs the whole time.
>"You useless piece of shit, you think I'll ever do what you say? Puh-lease."
"I hate you."
>"I don't give a fuck what you think about me, I own YOU and there's nothing you can do about it."
>After destroy your anus ,Pinkie finally finishes having her fun.
>Fuck that was painful.
>Pinkie leaves the bedroom but turns around just before walking out.
>"Same time tomorrow got it?!"
"O-o-okay."
>She leaves without saying another word.
>tfw you are Logic.
===============================

>Day No more Flutterrape in Equestria.
>Wake up
>Mornin' routine.
>Make coffee.
>knock knock at the door.
>Yellow mellow at the door.
>Looks angry.
"Bitch what?"
>"TEL ME YOUR FETISH ALREADY!!"
"You're my fetish Fluttershy."
>"Wut?"
"Yup, you heard me."
>You notice Fluttershy's eyes start twitch.
>Her head jerking suddenly back and forth.
>Sparks are coming out of her ears.
"Uhh, Fluttershy?"
>"Does not compute. Excitement systems overload."
"What?"
>"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"
>Fluttershy explodes suddenly, in thick pony chucks.
>Mane extensions, fried wings, flesh and fur fly everywhere.
>Some of her land in your coffee, providing lemonade flavor.
>Looks like you won't be dealing with her again.
>Close door.
>Drink coffee.
>Go about your day.
>Looks like there's no more...
>Fucking Fluttershy.
===============================
>Day All the cats in Equestria
>Wake up
>Running morning routing program
>Shower.exe
>Shit.exe
>Shave.exe
>Head downstairs and wait for Fluttershy
>You'd rather get her Tom Foolery out of the way before you start your day.
>knock knock at the door.
>My my it's Fluttershy
>She has a basket of cute kittens.
>Oh shit! They're adorable!
>Damn it.
>"Are little kittens your fetish?"
"No, but they're too damn cute! Get in here!"
>"EEP, Oh Anon you little discord."
>Pull her into your house.
>Take her upstairs your bedroom.
>"At last! I finally get my hot monkey dick!"
>Toss her on the bed.
>"YEEESSS, ANON! Come to mamma!"
>Hold her down with all your might.
>"Oh so you like it rough huh?"
>cover her mouth to keep her from from talking.
>cuddle and snuggle her to no end.
>"Anon quit teasing!"
"You started this with those damn kittens!"
>cuddle her tell you have a cutenessgasm
>collapse on top of her.
>Fall asleep.
>"Fuck you Anon."
>Cuddling Fluttershy
[> Backfires.
> She gets out from under you.
> Turns you over,
> Starts furiously raping you.
> Cats just stare as you get raped
> Cats are sick bastards.]
===============================
>Day Tick Tock Goes The Clock in Equestria
>Wake up
>Activate morning ritual
>Use shower,shit and shave for the tributes.
>Go downstairs and prepare coffee.
>Knock knock at the door.
>Fluttershy with rape face equipped
"What do you want Pegasus?!"
>"Your dick, Tick tock goes the clock and Fluttershy is right on time.Tick tock goes the clock Anon opens the door and gets raped by Fluttershy."
"Not so fast! Tick tock goes the clock goes the clock. Anon was expecting you, Tick tock goes the clock Anon chokes you until you're blue."
>"Ugh! Just give it up already!"
>No way in hell that's happening.
>Cunt punt the bitch to the moon.
>Fucking Fluttershy.
===============================
>Day Holy Plant in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shower, Shit, Shave
>Go to kitchen and wait.
>Waiting on the yellow succubus to show up
>Waiting...
>Wait....
>5 hours later
>Knock knock at the door
>Fluttershy with red eyes
"You're late Fluttershy, Why? Not that I care."
>"I had a little something to smoke I guess."
>facepalm.jpg
>"Hey Anon, You got anything to eat?"
"Well, I mean there's some strawberries and-"
>Fluttershy just barges in, opens your fridge.
>She starts to devour it's contents.
"Hey what the fuck? Get out!"
>"I can't, I got to listen to the heart of the timeless watermelon of mama shiiba."
"What?"
>"You know? The Jim leg of Applejack Sparrow?"
"What?! You're making no sense!"
>"Anon can I has hot monkey dick?"
"Fuck no! Now get outta my house."
>She lazily walks over to your couch.
>"But, I can make you feel sooo good."
>she lays down on your couch.
>"Sooo......goood...zzzzz."
>Pick her up and set her on the lawn.
>Turn on the sprinkler.
>Because Pinkie Pie, that's why.
>Fluttershy wakes up.
>"What have you done?! You fool! The King of the abyss is watching you fap!"
>Dafuq?
>Slam door.
>Never fap again.
>Fucking Flutterhigh
===============================
>Day Coffee your best friend in Equestria
>Wake up
>Catch Fluttershy sneaking in your bed with her rapeface activated.
>"Hey Anon is getting raped in your sleep your fetish?"
"No!"
>"Suuuuure it's not. I'll be waiting. Just go ahead and pretend to be asleep already."
>Nope.jpg
>Go to town
>Go to the store and buy all the coffee.
>Come back home and drink 5 gallons of coffee. No cream and all the sugar.
>The next few days consist of not sleeping or blinking. At least it's keeping the yellow monstrosity at bay.
>"Go ahead and sleep you're going to have to sleep sometime, MUHAHAHAHA that hot monkey dick is mine!"
>allthenopes.jpg
>have so much energy from drinking coffee you can't even sit still. Do all the things, start breaking logic laws.
>Pinkie Pie takes notice of this and has the hots for you.
>Make illogical godly time space bending love to her. Become the king of nonsense.
>Well that's better than
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day Dubs check em' in Equestria
>Wake up
>Mornin' ritual y'all
>Shit, Shower, Shave
>Head downstairs and start drinking Godly coffee
>knock knock at the door
>Answer it, It's Fluttershy
>She's covered in double numbers all over her body
>"Hey Anon are Dubs your fetish?"
"No, it's about the trips anyway. Now be gone."
>"Darn, wanna do it anyways?"
"Fuck no, come back when you get quads and maybe you might get a belly rub, If I'm in a good mood.
>"Ugh! That'll never happen!"
"Goodbye, Leave you nusance."
>Slam door
>Check em'
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day F bombs in Equestria
>Wake the fuck up.
>Do fucking morning ritual.
>Fucking shower, fucking shit, fucking shave.
>Go the fuck downstairs and fire up the fucking coffee pot.
>Knock fucking knock at the fucking door.
>It's fucking Fluttershy.
>"Good fucking morning Anon."
"What the fuck do you want?"
>"Wanna fuck?"
"Hell fucking no. Now fuck off my fucking property."
>"Well too fucking bad. Now gimme that fucking hot monkey dick now!."
>Fluttershy fucking barges in your fucking house. She tackles you to the fucking ground and starts to fucking tear off your pants.
>"At fucking last!"
>No this can't fucking happen.
>Nothing can fucking save you now.
>Suddenly you fucking see Granny Smith bursts through your fucking kitchen window with a fucking shotgun pointed at both of you.
>Fucking Fluttershy shuts down rape mode abruptly.
"What the fuck?!"
>"Both of y'alls better stop that cussing! One more F bomb and Ah'll make sure you never cuss again!"
>Fluttershy panics and runs home.
>Fucking Fluttershy
>"Boy what was that? Ah know you ain't cussin!"
>I mean Freaking Fluttershy
>"That's better, now apologize to the readers for all those F bombs!"
S-sorry guys, this shi-..I mean stuff got out of hand.
===============================
>Day Flutterrape must live in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shower, Shit, Shave
>Go downstairs
>Make coffee
>Knock Knock at the door
>Answer it, It's Fluttershy
>She's crying
"What's wrong?"
>"I don't want this to end Anon, Just tell me your fetish please?"
"Fluttershy, My fetish is you guessing my fetish. Well, that's one of them anyways. Keep trying."
>"Ok...wanna do it? Ya know...for old time sake?"
"FUCK NO!"
>"Ok, see you tomorrow Anon."
"Will do, Don't be late ok?"
>"You got it mister. I'll get you my little pretty, And you hot monkey dick too!"
"Never!"
>Moment of laughter and hugs
>"See you tomorrow, who knows maybe you just might be..."
>Fucking Fluttershy.
===============================
Day Typos in Equestia
>Wak up
>Show,shit, shave
>Go donstairs
>Knock nock at the door
>It's Flutershy
>"Hey Anon, are typos your fetis?"
"As many as I make howw are they not?"
>"Wannna do it?"
"Will it mak the typos go away?"
>"Yes, I just now it."
>Take her upstairs
>Fuck the her so hard you no longer type typos
>"Oh Anon! That was so good!"
"No will they go away?"
>"We'll see, just how long do you think you can keep...."
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day Fuck Typos in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shower,shit,shave.
>Fire up coffee
>Knock knock at the door
>It's Fluttershy
>"Hey Anon, aree ou sure typos are't your fetis?"
"Fuck no!"
>Turn her around.
>Cunt punt to the moon.
>Luna cunt punts her back
>Keep cunt punting Fluttershy back and forth
>Luna gives up and keeps her and starts...
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day random stanky booty noise music video in Equestria
>Wakin' up in the morning
>Mares all on that hot monkey dick
>get out of bed like a boss
>Shower,shit,shave
>Go downstairs
>Drink,smoke, poke
>Blast ghetto rap music to the highest volume
>knock knock at the door
>Fluttershy
"Bitch whatchu want?"
>"Turn off that nigger music! I can't think of any fetish guesses!"
>Bitch slap that ho
>Go back inside the house
>Go back to not...
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day Who give a hoot in Equestria
>Wake up
>Shit,Shower,Shave.
>make coffee
>knock knock at the door
>Answer it
>Flutterfuckinshy
>Wearing a ninja costume.
"You know that's not how ninjas work right?"
>She says nothing
>Suddenly a rag of chloroform is on your nose
>Pass out
>"That was just the decoy sweetie."
>Fluttershy starts laughing uncontrollably.
>Lucky you that wasn't the real you.
>hit her with a bat.
>Fluttershy knocked out cold
>Pick her up.
>Go to Family Guy universe.
>Drop her off at Quagmire's
>ring door bell and leave
>"Dear Diary, jackpot gigity gigity"
>Looks like you don't have to worry about...
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day Fuck Dogs in Equestria
>Wake up
>Showa, shiiit, shave.
>Go downstairs.
>Firin' my coffee pot.
>Coffee is ready.
>Take a few sips.
>knock knock at the door.
>You walk over to your front door.
>Lemon quiet crazy at yo door.
>With a basket of puppies.
>Rage of 1000 suns flow through you.
>"Hey Anon is-."
"FUCK YOU! I will end you and everything you love!"
>"Eep!"
>You chase Fluttershy down, end up her place.
>Tackle her to the ground.
>Beat her to a pulp.
>"I'm sooo sorry!"
"You done goofed bitch!"
>Finish your masterpiece of flank whopping.
>Walk back home with ever living rage.
>New power level achieved.
>Go back to the computer you magically summoned.
>Get back to writing.
>The rage flows into the computer screen
"Dogs everywhere better hide. They will cease to exist."
>End up writing The Second Day of Peace.
>Fucking Fluttershy.
===============================
>Night writing stuff in Equestria.
>It's about 11 at night and you're on your computer writing a story peacefully.
>In the dark sitting in front of a bright screen typing away.
>Nice and hot coffee sits on your desk, you take a good whiff of the must have bitter bean.
>You're in the middle of writing an extremely intimate scene and you're running out of names to use for pingas.( not sure if spam filter)
>Jeez, how do people write this stuff?
>You're creativity is running on E and spurting toxic gas from your ears.
>You take a sip of the coffee burning any remaining taste buds, as usual heavy on the cream and sugar.
>A few minutes later, you're putting the finishing touches on the scene.
>Just from reading it you find yourself at 'attention', looks like you written it well.
>Nobody is around a quick polish should put you back in focus on writing the story.
>Or put you to sleep, and you are gonna have to clean up when you're done.
>Fuck.
>Dontgiveafuck.jpg
>You unzip your pants and get ready for some late night polishing.
>Suddenly, you feel something breathing down your neck.
>You must be going crazy, you live alone.
>"Craggle Snaggle Mothafucka!"
"WHAT THE HELEN KELLER?!"
>From panic you jump up hitting your cunt poker on the desk.
>The hot coffee spills directly on your loyal soldier named Private Parts.
>You yell in agony as you roll on the ground.
>The light from the screen hits the unknown being's face revealing it's Fluttershy.
"What the five o' clock news Flutters?!"
>"Is being scared shitless at night your fetish Anon?"
"Fuck no! Now get out!"
>Fluttershy takes notice of your standing soldier in agony.
>"Oh my...looks like tonight you're gonna be..."
>Fucking Fluttershy
===============================
>Day nothing to it but to do it in Equestria.
>Wake up...
>In your bathtub.
>Bags of chips and chocolate syrup laying on you.
"Oh god that better be choclate syrup."
>What in the hell happened last night?
>You shake off all the after party pahootiny.
>Walk to your mirror and notice you have a top hat and a drawn mustache.
"What the fuck happened last night?"
>You take off the top hat and place it on the counter.
>Perform mornin' ritual.
>Walk into bedroom.
>See Fluttershy laying in your bed playing with a ball of thread.
>She's giggling and laughing she twirls and rolls it.
"Ummm Flutters?"
>She looks to you "Meow?"
>Oh God no....
>She knows!
>Cats....
>You love cats...
>Oh shit....
>She walks over to you.
>"Meow mow mew mew?"
>You somehow understood that.
"How did you...?"
>"I know you like cats Anon. Can I be your pet?"
>Shit shit shit.
"N-no!"
>She circles around you, rubbing her body against yours purry perfectly.
>Damn it.
>"Please let me be your pet..."
>Fuck.
>Damn adorable ponies.
"Fine just as long as you don't try to ra-"
>Flutteshy tackles you to the ground nuzzling you.
>"Anon, you'll never regret this, now we can do it whenever!"
>She pulls out a spray bottle and sprays some chemical in your face.
>Your eyes are getting heavy.
>Wake up.
>Fuck.
>It was only a dream, whew.
>You walk into your bathroom
>Look into mirror.
>See the words "Meow" written in black marker on your forehead.
"Dafuq?"
>You wipe it off and do your morning routine...again.
>Walk downstairs.
>See pictures of cats everywhere, on the floor.
>On the door, on tables and chairs.
>You get a knock at the door
>Answer it.
>"Is postin' cats your fetish Anon?"
"...."
>"It is!"
>She starts dancing in place "I guess your fetish, I guessed your fetish, I guesse your-"
"No it's not. Now leave."
>"Meow?"
"Damn it. Get in here."
>Fucking Fluttershy.
===============================

>Day Tom Foolery in Flutterape in Equestria.
>Wake up from magic radio static.
>Tunes into a channel.
>"And now for the weather, it seems Shit Storm Susan is far from over, more details at nine..."
>Oh God what is even happening.
>You make your way to the bath room.
>Shower, shit , shave.
>You make your way downstairs
>See Fluttershy on your computer typing and laughing, hold in her sides by a thin thread.
>Seriously, how does she break into your place every FUCKING time.
>You have tried everything under Celestia's Sun to keep the yellow demon bat sex crazed mare out of your house.
>And here she is on your computer you've magically summoned for the convenience of this one shot, laughing and lurking.
"Flutters! What are you doing?!"
>She turns to you, "Oh nothing just shit postin' in this Me rape thread, Oh Celestia my sides are no more."
>Dis Pone Hur.
"Get off it's not your computer. Besides I've got some writing to do, now if you'll be so kind?"
>"Sure thing sweetie, but can you explain this?"
>You walk over to see what she's talking about.
>You see a folder named "Flutta Shi".
>Shit, she's found your Flutter Fap Folder.
>Damn it.
"Oh that? Oh that's nothing really. Just some stuff I'm saving for a friend."
>"Suurre, I bet the friend is Anon Jr. Am I right?"
"....N-no...not at all."
>She puts on her rape face.
>"I think otherwise Anon."
>She flies out the chair towards you with open arms.
>"I knew you loved me!!"

>You dodge the yellow bullet and run for your life.
>For about 7 seconds.
>You tripped over an old 90's brick phone.
>You literally tripped over a cordless phone.
>You fall to the floor and Fluttershy is right behind.
>"Ohohoho I've been waiting for this since I laid eyes on you."
>She's got you now. This isn't going to end well.
>Suddenly, you're in SugarCube Corner. Somehow....
>"How many times am I going to have to save your sorry flank?" Pinkie said.
"Thank you Pinkie."
>"Oh you aren't thankful yet."
"What are you talk-"
>"Me, you upstairs, now."
>Could have been worse, for example like...
>Fucking Fluttershy.

Awesome narration: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DZsJ7FHGeO