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Greetings Global Pirates,
We truly hope that you’ve been enjoying the Lulzxmas festivities so far. The gifts that AnonSanta left under the LulzXmas tree are just the beginning. As we speak, his little helpers at the North Pole are readying his battle sleigh of lulz with more goodies to bring you LulzXmas joy all week long. Joy in the form of over $500,000 being expropriated from the bigshot clients of Stratfor. You didn’t think we’d let 2011 end without a BANG, did you?
However, if you are one of the hundreds of thousands of customers of STRATFOR Global [Un]Intelligence, you probably woke up Christmas morning to find heaps of burning coal in your stocking. But don’t fret. Take comfort in the fact that at least you’re not George Friedman or any of the STRATFOR IT guys right now.
We create chaos. We create mayhem. We curb stomp companies that play fast and loose with their customers’ private and sensitive information. We bring pain to greedy whitehats willing to flip for a dime on government payrolls. And don't worry—there's plenty more havoc in store for the rest of the week. So throw a log on the fire, grab some hot chocolate and settle in for a long week of lulz.
Did you have fun looting and plundering from the pocketbooks of the rich and powerful? How about laughing at the reaction of some of their butthurt customers. We LOL’d hard when poor little Cody Sultenfuss, ranch owner and DHS employee, who asked "Why me?" and when Allen Barr, just retired from the Texas Dept. of Banking, exclaimed, "It made me feel terrible. It made my wife feel terrible.” Let us not forget dear old Victor Gebilaguin, who posted the following on STRATFOR’s Facebook wall in defense of the company: "The hackers ought to be shot then hanged upside down in public." Well since you feel so strongly about it Victor, we went ahead and ran your card up a bit. Hope you don't mind. Really guys, cry us a river. Then go and fill out our all-purpose Butthurt Form, so we can get back to you promptly. Your feedback is important to us. Thanks.
Interestingly, one thing we noticed in the fallout of this catastrophic hack was that STRATFOR hired not one, but two outside consultants to try to bail their sorry asses out of the hellhole of a grave we dug them. Top identity theft protection? Professional security consultant? We'll see how that works out for you, if you ever dare to put your servers back online again. Until then, we’ll be watching and waiting. And laughing, of course.
By the way, now that you have notified your customers of this massive security breach, we might have to pick up the pace of releasing peoples’ credit card information.
Accordingly, we'll start the day after Christmas off right by dropping a third of the damn alphabet. How does a drop of 30,000 additional names, credit cards, addresses, phone numbers, and md5 hashed passwords sound? Sounds like a financial calamity to us. And just as the markets in the US are opening after the holiday weekend? Might be trouble.
But wait! That’s not all folks. 0h hell n0. Tomorrow, we will be dropping another enormous dump on our next target: the entire customer database from an online military and law enforcement supply store. Bring the pain? Shit, we brought the motherfuckin’ ruckus. You really trying to step this this?
Of course, this could all be averted. Have you given our comrade Bradley Manning his holiday feast yet, at a fancy restaurant of his choosing? Better make it happen, captain.
We’ll end today’s LulzXmas festivities by throwing in 25,000 tickets from the it.STRATFOR.com online support database. It's probably not as controversial as the contents of their private mail spools that we'll be dropping later, but perhaps it will shed some light on just how clueless this company really is when it comes to database security.
Stay tuned ...
SPECIAL NOTICE: We are aware that there has been some confusion as to whether the STRATFOR hack is an "official" Anonymous operation, due to a ridiculous "Emergency Anonymous Press Statement" being circulated, undermining our work while also making baseless accusations that we frequently see perpetrated by agent provocateurs. Whether this is the work of malicious counter-intelligence,, some butthurt pacifists, or stratfor employees themselves is unknown. Unfortunately, some main stream news agencies have picked up on this statement, looking for any reason to highlight and exploit any potential "inner divisions” within Anonymous. However, there has been no such squabble or infighting regarding the STRATFOR target, or any other LulzXmas target for that matter. Anyone can claim to be Anonymous, but because of the inherent decentralized nature of Anonymous, without central top-down leadership, no individual is in a place to speak to the legitimacy of another individual or group’s operation. Furthermore, our history of owning high profile targets as Anonymous has been well documented at the #antisec embassy (http://ibhg35kgdvnb7jvw.onion/) and is well known and respected within all Anon communities. Case closed.