It's originally concerning enough that you offer to help people without ever once asking for help. Every single person is unable to live life on their own and it's normal to ask others for help from time to time, yet you act like a machine and continue to post even after saying things like you were hospitalized or you had to build an antenna just to get internet.

Which brings me to the first of a list of more major issues. The apperance of martyrdom. I've heard several different explanations for this one. You've said that you never post these things and it's others who do, however that would imply that you told them. You've said that you are only posting it to be transparent... But the fact is that normal people don't try to help others when their own life is shit (for instance, when they've suffered burns) and if they do, they would at least do everything in their power to keep their own problems a secret. When you say "I'm sitting in a hospital bed and covered in burns... but I'd rather help you than be helped!" then you look like a starved, beaten, and bloody Jesus figure. There can be no reason to want this kind of image unless you're trying to garner not just attention, but pity - the worst and easiest to manipulate kind of attention. A person who is pitied can get their followers to do just about anything. Say you want a hug and they hug you. Say you're cold and they get you a blanket. Say you're hungry and they buy you food. A person does not need to be pitied to help people. If anything, I think it's better that they be respected than pitied.

That leads into the second of the more major issues, which was touched on by an Anonymous in the thread earlier. The varying and unbelievable accounts of your life. I've heard that you nearly died in a fire, your parents raped you with a kitchen knife, you have extra money to lend to Anonymous who are hungry but not enough to feed yourself, you built an antenna to circumvent a ban rather than using a proxy, and the number of psychiatrists you see or life with has altered between 2 and 5. I've also heard two potential real names for you (Melanie and Ikakura), and ages ranging between 17 and 22... Although I've also heard that you're halfway to a psychology degree and from talking to you I have ample proof that you have at least enough computing and programming knowledge to be 25. I've also heard some accounts that you and Alice1 were very close, knew each other personally, and may have even lived together. Then I've heard accounts that you and Alice1 only spoke a few times.

I'm not saying that I want the truth out of you. I couldn't really give a damn who you are in real life, that has no bearing on your ability to provide advice. Rather if you're going to say things about your life, I'd like them to either make sense or have proof. If you were really raped with a knife then you would have been forcibly emancipated. Even if you didn't tell anyone, they would have noticed the scars when you were in the hospital for your burn wounds. Also, if your burns were anything short of third-degree (at which point you wouldn't be able to type at all) then there would have been no nerve damage so you would have been in constant pain and therefore jacked up on morphine and unable to make a coherent post. The last time I was in a hospital for two weeks on morphine I logged into Runescape and farmed 23,000 feathers. I don't even know why.

The third issue I have with you, and what sparked most of my issues, is one that you still don't seem to understand. Humans are hard-wired to act in ways that work towards their survival and the continuation of their species. However we are also programmed to value our own life above other life, as this enables our own genes to proceed to the next round of evolutionary combat. As a result people, like every single animal and plant on this planet, will act in ways that they feel benefits them. However this does not mean we avoid things that hurt us. That is best summed up by the translated verse of lorem ipsum:

"which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?"

The simple truth is that we help people because it is evolutionarily advantageous. If we feed someone today then they live to feed us tomorrow. That's why our brains get a dopamine kick from making someone else feel good. It's also the basis for the Golden Rule: "Treat others how you want to be treated". This entire logical, evolutionary, and sensible notion falls apart when you have no reward as the result of helping others. It's because of this that those humans who feel the dopamine kick were naturally selected to survive. So for normal people, helping others feels good.

However you have admitted outright that you get stressed out helping people and that people coming to you with their problems upsets you. If you get no positive sensation from helping others then there is SOME reason you do it. No human helps others "simply because they want to love" - they do it because they enjoy knowing that someone was helped and because if they ever need help they would like the same treatment in return. You lacking this explanation suggests that there is something else you gain from helping others outside of emotional pleasure.

That diverges into my next two problems. The first is that I feel you are being dishonest and opaque. Despite willingly posting whatever information people request of your personal life and considering that transparent, you smile and say you love others even when they upset you. If they upset you and bother you all the time then your smile is a fraud. It's that fake happiness that bothers many of the "trolls" who come into your threads, and myself. I've said this before and I'll say it again:

I personally believe that half the people who you "help" would be miserable again if they knew that asking for advice was ruining your day. People have this wonderful and idealistic view that once they've been helped the world is perfect. Instead you present a must more depressing reality in which they've pawned all their troubles off on you (back to the martyr bit, as well)

The second issue that I have which diverges from you getting upset about helping Anonymous is the followers. I understand that 4ch­an is a public board in which anyone can post and say whatever the hell they want. However despite this fact one can not deny that there are regulars in your threads. This fact leads one to wonder what brought about this fanbase (though you deny them being "fans" or "followers", they will willingly admit to being your fans). If you were just here to provide help for Anonymous then you wouldn't be surrounded by roleplayers. 4ch­an is big and anyone can make a thread. The only reason to congregate in your threads is a sense of loyalty to you. A sense of loyalty that, though you want to deny it, leads them to defend any action you make. You could kill a person and most of the poeple here would likely say that it was for the greater good.

Then there's one other thing that needs to be mentioned. The chatrooms. If your primary concern was helping people then why do you have a small and secluded area for sharing intimate and private conversations with those who have already been helped or don't need help? And while xat may be free to anyone and often posted publicly, until recently the AJAX chat was only for those who were very loyal. There is no reason to maintain a steady and secure line of communication with a few loyal followers unless you are conspiring something.

So between playing the martyr, an unbelievable life, not enjoying providing help, and having private conversations with a few "chosen" followers, I'm hoping it's clear how someone can view this as a conspiracy. Even if you try to say that you never intended to play martyr, your life as you've dictated it is entirely true, and you really do enjoy providing help and you lied to me before when you say you didn't - that doesn't change the fact that there is no reason to maintain a secure and steady line of communication with only the select few "chosen" of your fanbase. This kind of evidence would qualify as proof of conspiracy in many jurisdictions.

And need I remind that most people who enter the AJAX chat uninvited are kicked or banned in very short time? So clearly *something* private goes on in there, for someone so transparent.

Oh, then there's also two reasons that I don't like you which are unrelated to my belief that you have an ulterior motive. The first is the way you provide advice. While I can understand trying to give one response per person is one of the best shotgun methods when there are too many people to answer, you will often respond to the entire thread even when 90% of it are having idle side conversations or making jokes and the 10% who you help then get almost no direct interaction. If I were helping someone I would ignore all of the seemingly meanigless side banter and focus my attention on the one in need. While generic advice may actually hold a lot of truth and power in it, most people simply disregard it. Something as small as taking the time to give the same advice in a unique way - or just typing a paragraph of fluff around your responses - can make the difference between someone listening to you and completley ignoring you.

Also, when I provided advice as Hazuki-chan I tried to get as many details as I could and come up with as many suggestions as I could. If someone was on the job hunt I wouldn't just say "keep trying" or "give it time". I would recommend places they could apply, suggest the military if they were out of options, tell them they could print off fliers and mow lawns,... When a person said that they were on a different continent from their girlfriend and her birthday was coming up I suggested calling a bakery near her and delivering a cake. Sometimes when people need advice, originality trumps actual utility.

The second reason that I dislike you is how you seem to avoid people when they are against you. Someone will come in saying that your life is riddled with logical fallacies or you don't make sense or you give the same generic advice or you quantify Anonymous and use them as a scoreboard... Then your response is along the lines of "^^;; *hugs*" or "N-not so!", but you don't take the time to post an *actual* response. And yes, I realize that people say that same things over and over. But if it's that much of an issue to keep responding to them, why not just keep a list of generic paragraph-long answers typed up? It woudl be better than completely ignoring them, because that just gives them the further fuel that when finally confronted you run away~

Oh, and people do say that you use Anonymous like a scoreboard ("I helped 11 Anonymous today!"). Although I haven't seen it, I ever do witness this I'll be very upset. I trust, though, that even though you don't understand my reasons for disliking you, you at least understand that behind every Anonymous is a human being sitting at his computer alone and wishing he were out with friends.