you,me and

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INDOXXI
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Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick.

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You know that moment
when you finally understand life?

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You just get it?

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Well, this was my moment.

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I got it. Everything and everyone in
my life fit into a neat, little box.

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Here are the individualist
hipster clones...

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and the better-than-you bankers.

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See?

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I knew exactly what was what, who was
who and most importantly who I am.

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Aw, the yummy mummies.

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Look, we all do it.

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We give ourselves labels
to feel we belong.

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Silly, really. Because waking up
to yourself is about letting go

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of who you imagine yourself to
be.

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Of course, I had yet to learn
that.

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Yep. No. I'm up.
I'm gonna take on the world.

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Oh!

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Fuck!

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Look smart, everyone! She's
almost here.

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- Could I get that deposition, Charles?
- Yes, yes.

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Could I get a smile too
for Sophie's last day?

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Terrifying as usual. Thank you.

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Surprise!

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You do not do that to someone!
Oh!

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I'll be sad to leave the firm.

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Glad to see the back of you lot,
of course.

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Yay!

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Yes, Olivia, thank you for the surprise.
I can tell you were the one behind it.

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And now for another surprise...

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I'm gonna be a mum.
That's right. I'm having a baby.

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Thank you.

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Yay!

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Shoo! Go on. Shoo! Go on! Fuck off!
Go get the mouse that's...

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00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:34,480
not this one.

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That was rather embarrassing,
wasn't it?

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- Excruciating stuff.
- Yes.

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Thank you. Much better
adjective.

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- It is possible, you know.
- Yeah! Sure, yes. I mean...

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00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:53,070
that was always the plan. Um...

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but then you wake up after yet
another pointless relationship

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and you realize...

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the only thing you ever truly
wanted, you left up to fate.

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And now it's too late.

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- No chance with the current?
- She's barely 12.

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Unfortunately, I am
completely obsessed with her.

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- Finally happy.
- You don't look very happy.

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So...

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who's the man then?

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No man.

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00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,190
A woman needs a man like a fish
needs a bicycle and all that.

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- Yes, but who's like a man?
- We are, quite literally, two women.

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Yes, but top or bottom sort of thing.
I mean, how does it fit together?

53
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Charles, please. Stop doing
that.

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- What do you call this piece?
- Dot.

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- Do you know what it represents?
- What?

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- Fuck all!
- Don't say that.

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I literally spent all day,
creating a full stop.

58
00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:06,400
But this what being a
struggling artist is all about.

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Yeah, but when do you
stop saying "struggling"

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- and just realize that you are not one.
- Never.

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If I'm all right with it,
you can be too, you know.

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Alex, that's not who you are.

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How was your day?

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Lovely, thank you.

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Um... I did get us a new pet.

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Her name's Maureen.

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There are ways to address
procrastination, as we discussed.

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Are there?

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Are there?

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- I know...
- You do?

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I need to get up and face the
world.

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00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:29,650
Actually, um...

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I was going to ask you to marry
me.

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- Have you got a ring?
- Yes! No, I don't. It...

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00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,900
- More of an "in theory" situation.
- You just proposed to me in theory?

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I mean, do you think we should?
Because, then we'll be as close as...

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you know, family and we could...

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All those lovely tax benefits.

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- You've not proposed before, have you?
- Is it too soon?

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00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:08,070
It is too soon. Yep. It
probably...

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00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,480
Ignore me. I've had a lot of
coffee.

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And now you're literally taking
your proposal back?

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Got me divorce papers through,
this morning.

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- John!
- Most people just say good morning, John!

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As long as she gives me my
signed football back, I'm happy.

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Oh, I'm sure she will.

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00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:28,980
- So, you're a single man, now?
- Yeah!

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Gosh! You can party, date and...

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- travel the world.
- Grow my hair a bit.

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- And that.
- Have a divorce party.

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Oh, that's classy.

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- Thank you!
- Goodbye, John!

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What you doin'?

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Are you two doing stuff?

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00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,730
Look at him. Mr.
Family Man.

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If we were still kids, I'd go
over there and give him a wedgie.

97
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,380
Those trousers are doing the
job for you.

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00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:40,360
- Do you ever think about that?
- You brother's ass. Daily, yeah.

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I wish I had the courage to be
different,

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to stand alone and accept
that I have feelings for men.

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- I just can't deal with the stigma.
- Just 'cause, lately I've been...

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I've just been thinking, I don't
know, what a great mum you'd make.

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00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:02,570
So that's what it was about.

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00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,940
- What?
- The anti-proposal.

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00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,480
- No.
- That's why you had no ring.

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Look, were we... You know, I don't...
We haven't broached that, have we?

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- The kid thing? Have we covered that?
- Uh, yeah. Date two.

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You asked me, and I said maybe,
but like, not for years.

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Okay.

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Well, you didn't shut it down.

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- Did you?
- That was ten months ago.

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Get ready, people!

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You've seen my bank balance, huh? I
don't know if I'm ready. If I'm ever...

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- gonna be ready.
- Yeah. Yes.

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Ah! Ah! Ah!

116
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Are those tears?

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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

118
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:04,280
Um...

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00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:07,940
I'm sorry. I know you're not
ready.

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But Alex, I'm almost 40.

121
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The shop is closing.

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I know that's not terribly Gloria
Steinem of me but it's true.

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This is a thing, isn't it?

124
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I should have been more honest.

125
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How long have you wanted this?

126
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Only since I was five.

127
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,970
You should have been more
honest.

128
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I just didn't want to lose you.

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You have me.

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This is it. I'm done.

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I want us to be a family.

132
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I need time...

133
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:07,610
- time to think.
- Sure. Oh, absolutely, yeah. Cool.

134
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No pressure.

135
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,530
Happy New Year.

136
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:16,690
Happy New Year.

137
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,440
So, you dumped her?

138
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:42,360
No, Alf. She asked for a baby.
Not a kidney.

139
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That would be way less hassle.

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- I said I'd think about it.
- Who would have it?

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You?

142
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:52,620
You'll never have sex again. Pregnancy
fucks with your vagina, man.

143
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,510
She wants to do it. There's no
way I'm shitting out a kid.

144
00:12:58,030 --> 00:13:00,070
- How many of these we've had?
- Like...

145
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,150
three... each.

146
00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:07,570
- The guy said just have a half.
- It'll be mellow. It's always mellow.

147
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What is happening?

148
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It just won't stop.

149
00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:15,730
We're all gonna die.

150
00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:48,150
- Hey! You made it.
- Of course, we did.

151
00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:50,650
We needed the alcohol.

152
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:53,070
Well, I'm just glad
you didn't feel intimidated.

153
00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:54,860
Happy divorce.

154
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:58,030
Thank you very much, Olivia.
I'm heartbroken, you know?

155
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,480
- Hang on in there.
- Thank you, Alex.

156
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:03,070
Just BTW, I can see right
through that top.

157
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Oh, oh! Mojitos are up!

158
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:12,820
Come on!

159
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,900
Babe.

160
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,150
- I'm still not talking to you, okay?
- I'm sorry.

161
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:28,360
Those brownies were stronger
than expected and to be fair...

162
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:30,480
that ride cannot be safe for
kids.

163
00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:33,650
- Alex, this is not the way to behave.
- I know.

164
00:14:33,650 --> 00:14:35,690
I just got bored of not getting
anything done

165
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:38,290
- and wanted to have some fun, I am trying.
- Well, just hurry up!

166
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:40,730
- Hurry up!
- Yes!

167
00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:41,730
Girls? Really?

168
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:44,860
Isn't this something about MTV
in the 90's?

169
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,900
I think those two will fancy you
whatever.

170
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:51,780
Alex, I need you to be the person
that you plan to be sooner.

171
00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,110
Why?

172
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:56,280
Becau... because you're
going to be a mother.

173
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I've started already...

174
00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:08,570
the insemination program.

175
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,280
Surprise.

176
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,150
Yay.

177
00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,530
How could you do this?

178
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,230
Huh?

179
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,690
You promised me time to think.

180
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,360
I just thought I'd give it a
shot and see.

181
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:29,280
- This is our life.
- Alex, I couldn't wait.

182
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Not any longer.

183
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:38,030
This was never about me.

184
00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:44,900
You'll be a great mother...

185
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,440
Stop telling me what I'm
fucking great at.

186
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,440
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

187
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:49,610
I'm going to go back to our house
and give us both time to cool off.

188
00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:51,650
I don't wanna see you.

189
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,260
- Fine. I'll go to my parents.
- Fine.

190
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,320
Fuck!

191
00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:10,320
- Ah-ha! Where's Olivia?
- Huh! I've been left behind.

192
00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:11,860
You okay?

193
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:15,750
"I make so many beginnings,
there will never be an end."

194
00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:17,480
- I'm not quite following.
- Mm.

195
00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:21,320
Little Women. You should read
it, John.

196
00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:23,780
In the meantime...

197
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:25,980
do you fancy forgetting
who the fuck we are for a bit?

198
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:29,570
- Oh! Most definitely.
- Fantastic!

199
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:38,480
- Green juice, darling?
- No, thanks, Mummy.

200
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:42,360
- Nice to have our princess home.
- Just the damn best.

201
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,320
Wish you had an argument
with your flatmate every week.

202
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,360
- Girlfriend.
- Life partner, darling.

203
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:51,520
Well, we'll be here when it
doesn't work out, won't we, love?

204
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:52,730
Absolutely!

205
00:17:04,030 --> 00:17:05,030
Good morning, Alex.

206
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:13,190
Do you wanna go again?

207
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:15,230
Oh, my God.

208
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:27,070
Oh, thank God!

209
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,270
Oh, Alex, I can't believe I
did that without telling you.

210
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,320
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry.

211
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,320
- I'm so sorry.
- So sorry.

212
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,320
So sorry?

213
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,690
Let's just have a baby. Huh?
Let's do whatever you want.

214
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:42,150
Whatever it takes.

215
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:46,820
- Really?
- Let's mess up your VJ, good and proper.

216
00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,650
That's a yes.

217
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,480
Yay!

218
00:17:57,570 --> 00:18:00,940
Thank you! Because, Alex...

219
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,320
this is about you.

220
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:08,900
I can't do this without you
being part of it, you know?

221
00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,110
- It'll be easy, right?
- Yes!

222
00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:15,280
Having a baby is just like having a
mate around who's always pissed.

223
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:18,650
They just need propping up now
and again, and given fluids.

224
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,190
- Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
- Sweet!

225
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,320
So I would ask you to find
him accountable for what he did.

226
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,530
In summation, clause 14
states that...

227
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,530
That's not what it states.

228
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,280
Clause 14...

229
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:47,230
Are you able
to continue, Miss Miller?

230
00:18:56,530 --> 00:18:57,530
Um...

231
00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:00,230
no, actually.

232
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,440
My colleague will tell you
about that clause.

233
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,360
If you will please excuse me,
I have to vomit.

234
00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:24,570
There's more out here
if you need 'em babe.

235
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:28,440
Say a prayer to the god of
fertility.

236
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,480
That's not gonna happen. Go!

237
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,780
It's positive!

238
00:20:09,690 --> 00:20:12,270
I'm pregnant!

239
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,650
Snap. I'm pregnant.

240
00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:18,230
No, I am. I am pregnant.

241
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:23,150
What?

242
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:31,730
- I don't understand what happened.
- Oh, poor you. You're all confused.

243
00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:36,440
Meanwhile, you have just put my entire
life in a salad spinner of fuck!

244
00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:39,150
I was so drunk.

245
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:42,230
And you went behind my back
and that really hurt.

246
00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:44,830
So, you thought you'd sleep with a
man you nicknamed scrotum pole?

247
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,480
I don't remember anything.

248
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,400
You remembered
how to fuck, obviously!

249
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:55,940
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

250
00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:58,150
Look how much you're fucking
making me swear!

251
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:04,820
I just don't understand why you keep
messing everything up for yourself.

252
00:21:09,030 --> 00:21:10,820
- Oh, what's this?
- Bag.

253
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,770
- What?
- Bag. Paper bag.

254
00:21:24,570 --> 00:21:25,570
Just...

255
00:21:27,030 --> 00:21:29,780
- We were so good together.
- I know.

256
00:21:30,780 --> 00:21:32,440
I know

257
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,030
You can't be the one to
comfort me over you.

258
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:17,440
Oh, yes!

259
00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:20,690
Olivia, look.

260
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,530
- She gave me my ball back.
- That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you.

261
00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:30,610
Let's have a look.

262
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,360
Okay.

263
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,650
Can I have my ball back now?

264
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:47,070
So just go romcom on her arse.

265
00:22:47,650 --> 00:22:48,650
'Scuse me?

266
00:22:49,030 --> 00:22:52,690
The big romantic gesture.
Richard Gere, roses,

267
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:54,190
so she no longer feels like a
hooker.

268
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,400
Then I'm literally gonna be a mum
to two kids. Just like that.

269
00:22:57,900 --> 00:23:00,100
- You're already having one.
- Not without her, I'm not.

270
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,980
Does that make me a shitty
person?

271
00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:08,320
It's not a story I'd tell them
at their graduation but no...

272
00:23:09,070 --> 00:23:10,190
you're all right.

273
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:11,900
I don't know what to do.

274
00:23:13,980 --> 00:23:15,030
Can you be without her?

275
00:23:16,610 --> 00:23:18,320
- No.
- Not a chance?

276
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:22,360
- Not one.
- There you go then.

277
00:23:23,190 --> 00:23:24,480
And now...

278
00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:26,730
to celebrate.

279
00:23:27,780 --> 00:23:31,820
- I'm gonna have a baby, Alf.
- Yeah, I know. I sympathize.

280
00:23:33,070 --> 00:23:34,230
This'll make you feel better.

281
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:37,650
Yep.

282
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:54,780
Whoa!

283
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,030
That is so not cool.

284
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,360
I can't sell a single painting.

285
00:24:18,860 --> 00:24:20,610
Not even the one with me tits
out.

286
00:24:21,150 --> 00:24:25,650
So, I sold all those cool art
supplies and I got you this.

287
00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:30,690
I can't do this on me own. And
I don't think you can, either.

288
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,820
Have you smelled this thing?

289
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,440
It's vintage, isn't it?

290
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:07,530
And why exactly do you think I
wouldn't be able to do this on my own?

291
00:25:08,150 --> 00:25:11,400
I have support.
Friends, my family, friends.

292
00:25:11,690 --> 00:25:12,900
- Which friends?
- Friends.

293
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:14,780
Maureen?

294
00:25:16,030 --> 00:25:17,570
Well what do you bring, Alex?

295
00:25:17,570 --> 00:25:19,730
And you need to get that
fucking mouse out of my house.

296
00:25:20,730 --> 00:25:21,730
I'm home all day.

297
00:25:23,030 --> 00:25:24,150
Got a thing for Pixar.

298
00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:26,490
To be honest, I hadn't thought
beyond the pram.

299
00:25:27,980 --> 00:25:30,690
I just know that if you were
ever able to forgive me,

300
00:25:30,690 --> 00:25:34,230
then I would love to be the
mum that you think I can be.

301
00:25:35,860 --> 00:25:39,730
So, I'd like to call today,
"Lez be having some babies!"

302
00:25:40,030 --> 00:25:42,280
- No jokes.
- Understood. Not a laughing matter.

303
00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:44,570
- Alex.
- Present.

304
00:25:45,230 --> 00:25:49,110
Yep. We've established that. My
sister has asked me to do this

305
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:53,400
quite heinous bit of mediation today,
so you can both be sure you're entering

306
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,070
- into this agreement...
- Family. Family.

307
00:25:55,690 --> 00:25:59,070
Bit of a stretch but anyway...
with clarity and closure.

308
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,840
Yeah, fine. I'll agree to
anything.

309
00:26:00,980 --> 00:26:04,070
How romantic. Now here are
the hard and fast rules.

310
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:07,280
Never again shall either of you mention
that Alex slept with someone else.

311
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,650
- Fine.
- You have to meet each other's parents.

312
00:26:10,690 --> 00:26:12,980
- Fine.
- And you have to tell John about the baby.

313
00:26:12,980 --> 00:26:15,530
- No fucking way!
- He's the father.

314
00:26:16,190 --> 00:26:19,360
We're talking about the man who thought
LGBT was just a really big sandwich.

315
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,190
You slept with him.

316
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:23,230
Oh! I think we agreed no
more mention of the S word.

317
00:26:23,230 --> 00:26:25,320
- Shut up, Ben!
- That's mature.

318
00:26:25,570 --> 00:26:28,280
Why would you want him involved?
He almost ruined us.

319
00:26:28,690 --> 00:26:32,570
How else are we going to afford
two children on one salary?

320
00:26:32,570 --> 00:26:35,320
Well, we don't need childcare.
I'll look after them.

321
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,820
No Alex, you're an artist.

322
00:26:38,610 --> 00:26:40,400
You can't give up your dream.

323
00:26:43,230 --> 00:26:44,690
You are my dream.

324
00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:45,820
Shut up, Ben.

325
00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:47,940
You two are perfect for each
other.

326
00:26:49,110 --> 00:26:53,440
I want to do this properly.
One has to do the right thing.

327
00:26:54,150 --> 00:26:55,630
You've started talking like the
Queen.

328
00:26:56,820 --> 00:26:57,820
Must be serious.

329
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:00,320
That's her serious face, too.

330
00:27:00,730 --> 00:27:01,860
Or she's having a stroke.

331
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,900
- Shut up!
- Okay, why am I here?

332
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,860
- Hey, John.
- Oh, hey!

333
00:27:18,150 --> 00:27:21,070
- I'm so glad you're talking to me again.
- Who's the daddy?

334
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,360
- You what?
- Who's the daddy?

335
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,530
Huh?

336
00:27:28,650 --> 00:27:32,190
Who. Is. The. Daddy?

337
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,780
I am the daddy.

338
00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:39,480
- Yes, you are.
- Excuse me?

339
00:27:39,730 --> 00:27:42,230
She's pregnant.
You are going to be a daddy.

340
00:27:42,690 --> 00:27:44,980
And we're gonna need shitloads
of money.

341
00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:50,860
- Well, I did it.
- Yes, you did.

342
00:27:50,860 --> 00:27:51,900
Mm-hmm.

343
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,610
Why can we never do that?

344
00:28:03,030 --> 00:28:06,570
- I thought you meant sexually.
- No, she didn't. That was our joke.

345
00:28:07,110 --> 00:28:08,150
You did not mean sexually?

346
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:10,610
I had sex with that.

347
00:28:11,780 --> 00:28:13,900
And now there's a baby gonna
be coming out of that.

348
00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:17,980
Yes, thank you for the biology lecture.
Come in before you throw up on that.

349
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,230
Look, mate... I don't expect
anything.

350
00:28:25,230 --> 00:28:26,980
Maybe money.

351
00:28:27,690 --> 00:28:30,030
- You work in banking, right?
- No, not anymore.

352
00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:34,110
No. I own and run a site called
Mannism.

353
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:35,900
It's um...

354
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,030
It's a... It's a... A place where
alpha males can connect and...

355
00:28:42,650 --> 00:28:44,770
share the message of the
ancient Greek word, " Arete".

356
00:28:45,070 --> 00:28:48,320
- "Be the best you can be."
- So, money's out then.

357
00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:50,070
Well...

358
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,230
you keep doing that.

359
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:55,470
Because, I'm perfectly cool
raising this baby with Olivia.

360
00:28:57,150 --> 00:28:58,590
- I'm also having a baby.
- Bollocks.

361
00:28:58,690 --> 00:29:00,570
Actually, it's certain.

362
00:29:02,150 --> 00:29:05,440
No, not that. Congrats or whatever.
Bollocks to me not playing a part.

363
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,110
I am the father!
That little one needs a dad.

364
00:29:10,030 --> 00:29:13,530
Please. Please let me be the dad.
Plus, I live right next door.

365
00:29:14,230 --> 00:29:15,350
I have a complex vocabulary.

366
00:29:18,900 --> 00:29:22,480
You can't drive. I can drive you!
If you want.

367
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,400
Get him out of this house, now!

368
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,900
- I've heard enough. He knows now.
- Yes.

369
00:29:29,190 --> 00:29:30,190
Off you go, John.

370
00:29:31,650 --> 00:29:34,650
- I cannot believe that is the man who...
- Turned your girlfriend straight?

371
00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:36,480
- Oh, my God!
- That's what she said.

372
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:37,900
Sorry, that was right there.

373
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,610
I am so incredibly sorry for the
pain that I have caused you.

374
00:29:41,610 --> 00:29:44,940
If I could go back in time and change
what happened, I would. But...

375
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,610
I'm a great guy.

376
00:29:48,940 --> 00:29:53,280
Let me take you out to lunch, clear
the air, get to know me better.

377
00:29:53,570 --> 00:29:55,150
Yeah? I want to be a part of
this.

378
00:29:57,610 --> 00:29:58,690
This is...

379
00:29:59,530 --> 00:30:00,530
kind of all I've got.

380
00:30:00,530 --> 00:30:03,150
- Aside from Mannism?
- Hail to the Alpha.

381
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,940
Give me a chance?

382
00:30:06,690 --> 00:30:10,110
Go on. Give me a chance.

383
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,400
Aw.

384
00:30:14,650 --> 00:30:16,980
Is it supposed to look like
an underwater alien?

385
00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:18,980
Yes. It is quite revolting,
isn't it?

386
00:30:18,980 --> 00:30:22,070
So, Alex, that membrane which
is protecting the fetus

387
00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:23,860
is known as the amniotic sac.

388
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,820
- That's mingin'. Stop it.
- Yes. Please stop.

389
00:30:29,190 --> 00:30:31,110
- So, you're pregnant too?
- I am.

390
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:34,270
- And you're both together?
- We are.

391
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,600
- Yes.
- And both pregnant with...

392
00:30:35,860 --> 00:30:37,030
some other people's children?

393
00:30:38,690 --> 00:30:42,480
Well, it's not quite that random. I was
artificially inseminated by a donor.

394
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:47,730
Oh, yes. Thank you. No need to elaborate.
Very feminist, I'm sure.

395
00:30:52,030 --> 00:30:54,860
Okay, well. Thank you very much.

396
00:30:55,690 --> 00:30:56,970
Are you wearing an underwire
bra?

397
00:30:57,230 --> 00:31:00,230
- Sorry?
- You should stop during pregnancy.

398
00:31:00,230 --> 00:31:02,980
It restricts the growth
of milk glands in your...

399
00:31:04,690 --> 00:31:06,780
- Breasts.
- Hmm.

400
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,480
You need to know these
things. You can't ignore pregnancy.

401
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,190
Sadly.

402
00:31:13,030 --> 00:31:15,070
Um, if my waters break
while I'm out and about,

403
00:31:15,070 --> 00:31:18,400
uh, will it look
like I've just pissed myself?

404
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,110
It's more of a trickle than a...
Oh, dear God... Gush.

405
00:31:23,110 --> 00:31:27,570
And um, during labor,
is it correct that...

406
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,680
- one can crap oneself?
- I'll give you some leaflets, okay?

407
00:31:31,070 --> 00:31:34,900
Did you know,
I have a painting of my vulva

408
00:31:34,900 --> 00:31:37,730
that would look absolutely
gorgeous in here?

409
00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:40,190
- No, thank you. Goodbye. Toodle-oo.
- Okay, buh-bye. Bye.

410
00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:48,520
How'd we manage to find the one
obstetrician who's weird about vaginas?

411
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:16,030
Saturdays at 11:00 a.m. Got it.
Thank you. Bye.

412
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:18,900
- Hello!
- Hello there!

413
00:32:21,730 --> 00:32:23,360
I'm really pleased we got to do
this.

414
00:32:23,690 --> 00:32:25,820
- I'm pleased we could do this, too.
- Yeah.

415
00:32:26,730 --> 00:32:29,530
I appreciated your apology.

416
00:32:30,570 --> 00:32:32,860
Well, I appreciate you saying
that.

417
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,360
- Great! I am starving.
- Sandwiches.

418
00:32:39,610 --> 00:32:40,900
- Oh. This is Stilton?
- Yeah.

419
00:32:40,900 --> 00:32:42,270
I don't think I can have it.

420
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,860
Alex was just going on
about this yesterday.

421
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,320
- What, 'cause of the...
- Yeah.

422
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,230
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- That's okay. I can still have the bread.

423
00:32:50,230 --> 00:32:51,940
I'll just take this.

424
00:33:07,570 --> 00:33:09,400
Yes, um...

425
00:33:11,070 --> 00:33:15,820
- Alex is become quite the pregnancy major.
- That girl's hilarious. Never serious.

426
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,720
She can be quite serious,
though.

427
00:33:17,820 --> 00:33:22,480
No. I think even when she's
serious, it's a little un-serious.

428
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,480
Well, maybe you don't take
what she's saying seriously.

429
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,440
I'm pretty certain she's just
being fun and not serious.

430
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,190
- Well, she does laugh a lot.
- Yeah.

431
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,940
- Like a little squeaky mouse.
- It's quite a big laugh actually, I'd say.

432
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,900
It's big for her,
but pretty small, generally.

433
00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:39,320
I'd say if it's big for her,
it's big for anyone.

434
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,320
- Really?
- Yeah.

435
00:33:41,610 --> 00:33:43,270
I think, it's more like...
Something like that.

436
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,820
Obviously, I've been making her laugh
a lot. But it's nothing like that.

437
00:33:46,820 --> 00:33:49,570
No, I hear it quite a lot like...

438
00:33:49,570 --> 00:33:52,980
- It's more of a... It's, uh, lower.
- No.

439
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:57,860
Guttural, sort of...

440
00:33:58,530 --> 00:34:00,360
- That sort of...
- No, it's...

441
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,520
It's not like that.

442
00:34:16,860 --> 00:34:18,230
No, I'm thinking of something
else.

443
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:33,150
So... how was he then?
Big fella? Nice moves?

444
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:37,280
- Mum, you're kind of missing the point.
- Best news I've heard all year.

445
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,230
- That's great to hear.
- You shagged a bloke.

446
00:34:41,230 --> 00:34:42,440
You're back to yourself again.

447
00:34:42,780 --> 00:34:44,900
What are talking about?
I've never been into blokes.

448
00:34:45,190 --> 00:34:46,690
Oh! What about Turner's son?

449
00:34:46,690 --> 00:34:50,440
I was five. He taught me how
to piss in the sea discretely.

450
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,270
It was hardly a grand romance. It was
more of a very useful life tool.

451
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,730
Well... I just think we've
turned a corner, that's all.

452
00:34:57,570 --> 00:35:00,070
So... are you getting it dealt
with?

453
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,070
No. I'm having it
and raising it with Olivia.

454
00:35:07,780 --> 00:35:09,480
Listen. Listen to me.

455
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,530
Now you know I love you, don't
you?

456
00:35:13,110 --> 00:35:15,320
And I will support any decision
you ever make.

457
00:35:16,150 --> 00:35:19,400
I just think two women raising a child
together is fucking disgusting.

458
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:20,900
And we're back.

459
00:35:22,110 --> 00:35:23,110
I mean what're you gonna do
when it asks where its daddy is?

460
00:35:23,820 --> 00:35:25,270
John is going to be a part of
their life.

461
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,820
- Oh, so he's still skulking around, is he?
- No. Not like that.

462
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:32,480
All I'm saying is don't
close off all your options.

463
00:35:33,650 --> 00:35:35,780
Sort yourself out,
concentrate on your career

464
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,110
and see if you can have
a proper baby one day.

465
00:35:53,780 --> 00:35:54,900
What am I gonna teach a kid?

466
00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:57,320
I'm gonna be a mum
before I've been anything else.

467
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,440
Oh, that's not true.

468
00:35:59,110 --> 00:36:01,650
You were a stoner for a while.

469
00:36:03,690 --> 00:36:05,970
Ah, see, John was definitely
not impersonating your laugh.

470
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,190
Sorry.
Are you gonna finish that?

471
00:36:11,690 --> 00:36:13,320
No. Knock yourself out.

472
00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:16,690
I'm only craving rabbit food
at the moment.

473
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:19,360
I hate you.

474
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,360
That just makes me pee myself.

475
00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:32,190
- That can scientifically not be true.
- Well, something is making me pee myself.

476
00:36:35,030 --> 00:36:36,150
You know...

477
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:39,110
I actually don't have
any sympathy for you.

478
00:36:40,860 --> 00:36:42,320
You're gonna have this baby...

479
00:36:43,030 --> 00:36:45,730
your body will snap back and
then you got the kid box ticked.

480
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:49,650
Do you have any idea how many
thirty-something women

481
00:36:49,650 --> 00:36:51,820
are on horrendous dates right
now?

482
00:36:52,570 --> 00:36:56,190
One eye on the clock and one eye on some
dull bloke sitting opposite them thinking,

483
00:36:56,190 --> 00:36:58,900
"Oh, crap. He'll have to do."

484
00:36:59,730 --> 00:37:02,770
Or lesbians frantically googling,
"Sperm donors with Oxbridge degrees".

485
00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:04,610
Exactly.

486
00:37:09,030 --> 00:37:11,400
- Do you know her?
- No, but she's pregnant.

487
00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:12,820
So?

488
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:15,570
That's what you do when you're pregnant,
you wave at each other, like cabbies.

489
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:18,440
Hmm.

490
00:37:19,730 --> 00:37:23,360
"Labor". Yeah. Even the
word makes us feel tense.

491
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,230
This course is gonna equip you
with all the tools and techniques

492
00:37:27,230 --> 00:37:29,980
that you need to challenge the
contemporary over-medicalized,

493
00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:31,770
fear-based, birthing culture

494
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:34,610
and to remind your body
to let it all go, guys.

495
00:37:34,610 --> 00:37:36,940
Now, no questions till the end
Please remember the rules.

496
00:37:36,940 --> 00:37:40,280
So, some of you are sitting here
in like a refrigerator of terror

497
00:37:41,110 --> 00:37:42,280
and some of you will
be sitting here, doubting,

498
00:37:42,650 --> 00:37:46,070
whether hypnobirthing works at all.
Well...

499
00:37:47,780 --> 00:37:48,780
it... It does.

500
00:37:50,190 --> 00:37:52,520
It does. Let's start
with the introductions, Alex.

501
00:37:52,530 --> 00:37:53,940
- This is Alex.
- Hi.

502
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:58,610
And this is Alex's female
life partner, Olivia.

503
00:37:58,610 --> 00:37:59,610
Huh!

504
00:38:00,690 --> 00:38:02,270
I'm just so happy and humbled
to have you in my group, guys.

505
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:03,400
Oh! Thank you.

506
00:38:04,780 --> 00:38:08,480
Oh, and this is Mike and Maya,
Morgan and Amanda, and Allison...

507
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,070
- Dave.
- And Dave. I know that.

508
00:38:13,070 --> 00:38:14,690
I know that. Right.

509
00:38:15,530 --> 00:38:17,900
Let's talk about pain.

510
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:19,530
"Pain". What is pain?

511
00:38:21,530 --> 00:38:22,900
It's a rhetorical question.

512
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:25,030
Pain is being judged by
the color of your skin,

513
00:38:25,820 --> 00:38:29,360
pain is not being allowed to
have a relationship with someone

514
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,160
because they are the wrong gender.
Am I right?

515
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,110
You go, girl.

516
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,110
Pain is being fisted by
a 300-pound rich white guy

517
00:38:37,110 --> 00:38:39,190
because you haven't got
enough money to pay the rent.

518
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:40,480
What pain is not...

519
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:42,650
is labor.

520
00:38:43,150 --> 00:38:44,400
- Sweet.
- Right.

521
00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:45,690
- Wait.
- Okay.

522
00:38:46,730 --> 00:38:48,150
Excuse me. Can I be
of some assistance to you?

523
00:38:48,150 --> 00:38:50,610
- Don't start without me.
- What are you doing here?

524
00:38:51,190 --> 00:38:53,230
I have every right to be here.
I'm the father of Alex's baby.

525
00:38:53,230 --> 00:38:55,320
I should be part of the process.

526
00:38:56,530 --> 00:38:57,730
You looked at my planner.

527
00:38:58,860 --> 00:39:00,020
Okay, okay, relax.

528
00:39:00,030 --> 00:39:02,770
You never seen a poly-amorous
relationship before?

529
00:39:02,780 --> 00:39:04,480
- No.
- Yeah. well simmer down.

530
00:39:06,190 --> 00:39:07,190
Welcome, John.

531
00:39:07,230 --> 00:39:09,030
- You are welcome, one and all.
- Yeah, sorry.

532
00:39:09,530 --> 00:39:13,610
Amy, can I just say that we're
not wha...

533
00:39:13,610 --> 00:39:14,860
- What you just said we are.
- Yes.

534
00:39:14,860 --> 00:39:18,900
But, John is the real father
and he's very much welcome.

535
00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:23,070
- Thanks, Alex.
- Is he your sperm donor, too?

536
00:39:23,070 --> 00:39:24,400
Allison, that is enough
judgement.

537
00:39:25,070 --> 00:39:27,110
They're lesbians. They don't
wanna talk about sperms.

538
00:39:27,110 --> 00:39:28,480
Right-O! Sorry.

539
00:39:29,980 --> 00:39:32,020
I'd like you to take your partner's
hand, and put it on the baby's head.

540
00:39:32,030 --> 00:39:35,270
Now, if you're seven months or
under, that's gonna be up here,

541
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,190
under your breastal balcony.

542
00:39:37,650 --> 00:39:41,270
And if you're further along,
it might be down in your minge.

543
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,900
Right. I don't... What am I
supposed to do?

544
00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:44,150
- I don't have a partner.
- Oh, I want a part of this.

545
00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:47,940
- I'll be your partner.
- Well, she's my partner, so.

546
00:39:47,940 --> 00:39:49,400
I'd like to be your partner.
Where are you? You up or down?

547
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,280
- I'm up. Yup.
- Here. Right.

548
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:54,740
- And if you put your hand on my hand...
- Okay.

549
00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:58,770
Feeling that lovely little bonce there.
That feels nice, right?

550
00:39:58,780 --> 00:39:59,940
Yup.

551
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,780
Loving that.

552
00:40:03,570 --> 00:40:06,770
- Olivia, wait.
- Nice breathing today, Alex.

553
00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:09,230
- Yeah. Cheers, John.
- You're looking great, too.

554
00:40:10,110 --> 00:40:13,230
Body's really acknowledging
the pregnancy. It's beautiful.

555
00:40:13,230 --> 00:40:17,690
Olivia, wait. Look, he's harmless.
Like you said he has the right.

556
00:40:17,690 --> 00:40:21,230
I was wrong. He deserves no rights.
He deserves impotency.

557
00:40:21,730 --> 00:40:24,440
You have my word. This is
as close as John will get.

558
00:40:24,730 --> 00:40:28,610
John? Not Skeletor-Mr. String Theory-
Fuck-face-Leaning Tower of Piss?

559
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,980
No? Or The Man Evolution Forgot?

560
00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:34,780
- Just John.
- Just John? Okay.

561
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,860
Got it. Just so now, thanks.

562
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:50,900
Oh, I did have a couple of questions...
concerns.

563
00:40:50,900 --> 00:40:52,730
Fine.

564
00:40:54,030 --> 00:40:56,470
Extremely burnt toast. Can't get
enough of the stuff. Healthy?

565
00:40:56,780 --> 00:40:57,690
Perfectly normal to have
cravings.

566
00:40:57,980 --> 00:41:01,730
- Also...
- I have tons of energy. Is that normal?

567
00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:05,740
Perhaps, it's 'cause you haven't been
sober this long since you were 12.

568
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,480
Hey, hormones.

569
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:09,570
Oh, sorry.

570
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,150
It's just that your...

571
00:41:13,150 --> 00:41:16,980
spring-has-sprung pregnancy
is fucking annoying.

572
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,360
Language.

573
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,400
What?

574
00:41:20,820 --> 00:41:21,820
I don't know,

575
00:41:22,110 --> 00:41:23,190
Amy said something about...

576
00:41:23,570 --> 00:41:25,650
baby feeling the meaning
of everything that it hears.

577
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:25,900
Is that right, Dr. Parks?

578
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,320
Just medical questions, please.

579
00:41:29,650 --> 00:41:34,820
I'm not, uh, singing at crystals or
waving my arms about dancing in a field.

580
00:41:35,070 --> 00:41:37,190
Also, nose bleeds.
I've had millions of them.

581
00:41:37,690 --> 00:41:40,980
In court, debating a case, no idea I
looked like the final scene of Carrie.

582
00:41:40,980 --> 00:41:43,520
The increase in blood supply puts
more pressure on the vessels,

583
00:41:43,530 --> 00:41:46,820
causing them to... easily erupt.

584
00:41:48,980 --> 00:41:51,610
- You still don't want to know?
- No, no thank you.

585
00:41:51,610 --> 00:41:54,110
I guess we don't get many
surprises in life anymore,

586
00:41:54,110 --> 00:41:56,480
- so I thought, why find out.
- How fascinating.

587
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,360
- You ready?
- Yes, yes. Let's find out.

588
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:00,980
- You will be having...
- Yep.

589
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,610
A little baby...

590
00:42:05,030 --> 00:42:06,030
boy.

591
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,320
Aw.

592
00:42:09,980 --> 00:42:12,070
Baby boy.

593
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:16,690
- I have a penis inside of me.
- First time for everything. Hey! Hey!

594
00:42:24,030 --> 00:42:25,070
Okay.

595
00:42:26,610 --> 00:42:29,070
That's something I
wanted to feel, I wanted to feel the...

596
00:42:46,820 --> 00:42:47,820
Hello, Charles.

597
00:42:52,650 --> 00:42:54,070
- What's wrong with your face?
- Oh!

598
00:42:54,690 --> 00:42:59,360
- Ah! Pigmentation thingamajig.
- Yes. Yeah.

599
00:42:59,690 --> 00:43:01,770
Same thing happened to my wife
when she was pregnant.

600
00:43:02,730 --> 00:43:06,110
Yes. Turns out I've got every
possible pregnancy ailment going.

601
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,150
I'm actually terribly depressed.

602
00:43:10,530 --> 00:43:14,610
My wife picked up some fake tan,
smothered it all over her face.

603
00:43:14,610 --> 00:43:15,690
Evened it out.

604
00:43:16,780 --> 00:43:18,280
That's actually not a bad idea.

605
00:43:18,780 --> 00:43:20,980
She looked like
an entirely different person.

606
00:43:20,980 --> 00:43:24,150
- Hmm.
- Like I was having a naughty affair.

607
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:30,980
I just pissed myself, Charles.

608
00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:33,900
Again.

609
00:43:43,530 --> 00:43:45,410
I've missed this.
Just hanging out with someone.

610
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,280
What? Your wife?

611
00:43:48,980 --> 00:43:51,030
I thought you hated her guts.

612
00:43:51,650 --> 00:43:52,940
Actually, she hated mine.

613
00:43:54,730 --> 00:43:55,730
Oh!

614
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,320
- Sorry.
- Yeah.

615
00:44:00,110 --> 00:44:04,110
I guess I just had to make a decision
between being a pioneer and a husband.

616
00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:05,980
Huh?

617
00:44:06,940 --> 00:44:09,730
- I'm sure Steve Jobs had
the same problem. -

618
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:13,170
Or maybe, I wasn't the perfect
husband.

619
00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:15,980
And what's the perfect husband?

620
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:19,030
Uh, not a total dick?

621
00:44:19,820 --> 00:44:20,820
That's better.

622
00:44:21,650 --> 00:44:23,940
"Be worthy love and love will
come."

623
00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:26,980
Wait.

624
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:29,820
Are you quoting my favorite
book?

625
00:44:30,190 --> 00:44:32,020
Little Women.
Yeah, you were absolutely right.

626
00:44:32,030 --> 00:44:34,860
I read it cover to cover and I
cried!

627
00:44:35,900 --> 00:44:37,980
Good! And who am I? Joe?

628
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:42,560
You can be whoever you wanna be.

629
00:44:45,690 --> 00:44:48,110
You are lovely underneath it
all.

630
00:44:50,650 --> 00:44:53,320
- You're lovely everywhere.
- Huh?

631
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:54,560
So, how're you feeling, anyway?

632
00:44:55,820 --> 00:44:56,900
The bump gets in the way of everything.
Even shaving my legs.

633
00:44:57,980 --> 00:45:00,980
Uh, I need to pee. But it's a
phantom pee.

634
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,860
I go to pee. No pee comes out. You
know, like when you're on drugs.

635
00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:07,150
- What about the constipation?
- You what?

636
00:45:07,820 --> 00:45:10,320
Haven't you got nuts bowels?
I have.

637
00:45:10,650 --> 00:45:13,690
I hate to break it to you,
John, but you're not pregnant.

638
00:45:13,690 --> 00:45:16,900
I have couvade syndrome.
Sympathy pains for the partner.

639
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:17,570
- Of course you have, darling.
- I do.

640
00:45:17,570 --> 00:45:19,520
Yeah, right.

641
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,280
John was just going.

642
00:45:24,690 --> 00:45:26,610
Was he brushing your hair?

643
00:45:27,070 --> 00:45:29,870
It's getting so thick and I just
needed someone to brush it out for me.

644
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,110
- Mine's not getting any thicker.
- The ones on your chin are. Boom!

645
00:45:37,730 --> 00:45:41,030
I'm sorry. Sorry! I'm
constipated.

646
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,650
- Fake tan.
- Yeah.

647
00:45:46,230 --> 00:45:47,440
Yeah.

648
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,940
For my blotchy and apparently
hairy face.

649
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:57,530
- Why? Why? Why the fuck is he here?
- Shh.

650
00:45:59,820 --> 00:46:02,690
I'm sorry. Did I swear?
Oh, I'm sorry.

651
00:46:03,230 --> 00:46:05,900
You know I'll fall for you. But you
know what else is really awful?

652
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,480
Trying to get Mr. Chapman convicted of
tax evasion whilst you repeatedly fart

653
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:20,190
throughout your closing statement. Mr.
Chapman is roaring with laughter.

654
00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:22,780
What do I do?

655
00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:24,730
Nothing.

656
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:26,940
Just keep on farting.

657
00:46:27,860 --> 00:46:31,070
All I want is to come home for
a snuggle with my girlfriend.

658
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,360
- But she's...
- Oh!

659
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,610
- Oh!
- Oh, God! I'm sorry.

660
00:46:36,980 --> 00:46:38,900
- What did I do?
- I think it kicked.

661
00:46:39,980 --> 00:46:42,730
Oh!

662
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,030
Oh! Oh!

663
00:46:45,860 --> 00:46:46,900
- Can I feel?
- Yep.

664
00:46:47,230 --> 00:46:48,610
- There?
- I can't feel anything.

665
00:46:48,610 --> 00:46:49,730
Wait, wait, wait.

666
00:46:51,820 --> 00:46:53,150
- Still can't...
- Just wait.

667
00:46:55,780 --> 00:46:57,320
- I missed it kick.
- No, shh.

668
00:46:57,610 --> 00:46:59,010
- Babe. No, babe.
- I can't believe.

669
00:46:59,110 --> 00:47:02,150
- I missed the baby kicking.
- No. Shush, shush.

670
00:47:02,650 --> 00:47:05,190
- I'm sorry, I'm so useless.
- Babe, this is gonna have to stop.

671
00:47:09,030 --> 00:47:11,150
- The baby kicked.
- Aw.

672
00:47:11,150 --> 00:47:13,110
- Felt like wind.
- Perhaps, it was wind?

673
00:47:14,530 --> 00:47:15,780
It's entirely possible.

674
00:47:16,030 --> 00:47:18,150
We're going out.

675
00:47:19,650 --> 00:47:22,280
- Do you want me to go?
- Uh, finish your food.

676
00:47:24,530 --> 00:47:25,650
It was nice.

677
00:47:27,860 --> 00:47:31,730
Aw! Bugger me! These boobs, man.

678
00:47:32,690 --> 00:47:35,070
They're so big and tender.

679
00:47:35,070 --> 00:47:36,480
- We ready?
- Yep.

680
00:47:37,820 --> 00:47:39,820
- What's wrong?
- Boobs. They kill.

681
00:47:39,820 --> 00:47:42,150
Aw. Poor darling.

682
00:47:43,030 --> 00:47:44,030
- Yeah.
- Oh!

683
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:45,190
- Yeah?
- That's nice.

684
00:47:45,190 --> 00:47:46,860
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

685
00:47:46,860 --> 00:47:48,650
Oh, yeah. Mm.

686
00:47:49,190 --> 00:47:52,070
Oh, that's better.
Bye, John.

687
00:48:06,110 --> 00:48:07,440
So, you're in your safe space

688
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,770
and you can feel the warm water
lapping against your ankles.

689
00:48:11,780 --> 00:48:14,230
- And your digestive system...
- Alex, I need to show you something.

690
00:48:14,230 --> 00:48:16,780
- What?
- My... My penis.

691
00:48:18,030 --> 00:48:19,730
- Yeah, I'm set. Thanks.
- Wait, wait.

692
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:20,970
Please, it'll take two minutes.

693
00:48:22,030 --> 00:48:23,770
Your membranes give away. You're
dealing with the... Hi, guys!

694
00:48:23,780 --> 00:48:26,480
- Hello. How're you? All right?
- Hi, Olivia.

695
00:48:28,610 --> 00:48:32,280
Yeah, you're a
tiny bit late, Allison.

696
00:48:32,690 --> 00:48:34,230
I'm really worried. Be a friend.

697
00:48:34,230 --> 00:48:36,690
- You can feel yourself moving...
- C'mon!

698
00:48:36,690 --> 00:48:39,360
- I did my 96er on you.
- I don't wanna remember anything, okay?

699
00:48:39,780 --> 00:48:41,320
All my best moves wasted on a
lezza.

700
00:48:42,820 --> 00:48:45,180
- Throughout history...
- All right, two minutes. C'mon.

701
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:49,860
Give birth. You feel
your vagina give way.

702
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,610
You can feel that baby weighing
down on your perineum.

703
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,280
And the urge to shit it out
is now overwhelming you.

704
00:49:00,860 --> 00:49:03,110
- It's orange.
- Am I gonna die?

705
00:49:03,780 --> 00:49:08,070
So, we're gonna do some exercises now to
stretch the internal abdominal muscles.

706
00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:10,940
But it's quite absorbing. I don't
really want to be interrupted.

707
00:49:10,940 --> 00:49:16,440
- Do you know where your "people" are?
- Oh, yes, yes. Sorry. I'll just check.

708
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:20,440
Leave that there.

709
00:49:24,150 --> 00:49:26,070
And how does that feel?
Does it feel good?

710
00:49:26,150 --> 00:49:28,190
Oh, it's definitely swollen.

711
00:49:32,610 --> 00:49:35,190
- Oh!
- Oh, God! No, no, no.

712
00:49:35,190 --> 00:49:38,320
- Oh.
- Now, it's John's John.

713
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:41,900
- Just look at it, babe.
- What?

714
00:49:42,780 --> 00:49:44,480
Can cancer be orange?

715
00:49:47,530 --> 00:49:49,360
Oh!

716
00:49:51,650 --> 00:49:52,690
Oh!

717
00:50:03,730 --> 00:50:05,230
Is that fake tan?

718
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:08,650
Oh!

719
00:50:08,650 --> 00:50:10,610
Sorry to interrupt.

720
00:50:10,690 --> 00:50:13,940
I've gotta say, you guys, I am
starting to wonder whether this...

721
00:50:15,110 --> 00:50:19,690
arrangement situation... life
choice thing is altogether healthy.

722
00:50:19,690 --> 00:50:22,610
Amy... so sorry. Please ignore
us.

723
00:50:22,610 --> 00:50:27,530
I promise you. We are all
perfectly normal and healthy.

724
00:50:30,650 --> 00:50:32,940
- Is it bleeding? Am I bleeding?
- You are.

725
00:50:35,530 --> 00:50:36,610
Take that and get out.

726
00:50:37,610 --> 00:50:38,730
Please.

727
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,610
Yeah, all of you. Thanks.

728
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,440
Olivia.

729
00:50:50,940 --> 00:50:51,980
Yes?

730
00:50:52,730 --> 00:50:54,130
I'll make this up to you. I
promise.

731
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,360
Just don't masturbate in our
house again.

732
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,280
- That's all I ask.
- Yep.

733
00:51:01,070 --> 00:51:02,860
I most definitely probably
won't.

734
00:51:23,030 --> 00:51:25,400
Surprise!
I bought you a yoga teacher.

735
00:51:27,070 --> 00:51:29,440
- Just for an hour.
- Or two.

736
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:30,440
Maybe.

737
00:51:30,900 --> 00:51:31,980
Cheers, John.

738
00:52:23,650 --> 00:52:24,650
Alex!

739
00:52:31,150 --> 00:52:32,150
Cheers, John.

740
00:53:30,190 --> 00:53:32,360
Well, it's jolly nice to
meet you.

741
00:53:32,690 --> 00:53:35,570
- I love Alex like a sister.
- Have you ever been with a man?

742
00:53:36,230 --> 00:53:38,190
Why'd you ask that?

743
00:53:38,190 --> 00:53:42,030
I just thought it might run in the family.
I had a small bet with myself, actually.

744
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:45,360
Oh, right. I see.
Well, I take it one of you lost?

745
00:53:45,980 --> 00:53:47,860
Jury's still out.

746
00:53:51,650 --> 00:53:53,360
It was Alex's idea. Get mad at
her.

747
00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:55,650
She wants you to spend more time
with her bestie.

748
00:53:56,190 --> 00:53:57,860
She did not call you her bestie.

749
00:53:59,030 --> 00:54:00,440
Isn't pregnancy making her
nicer?

750
00:54:01,820 --> 00:54:03,900
Did you call John your bestie?

751
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,820
Huh? I can't hear you. Talk to
John.

752
00:54:09,650 --> 00:54:13,780
I do hope, Olivia and he'll get on today.
He's a sweet guy underneath.

753
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,190
Underneath what? His trousers?

754
00:54:16,730 --> 00:54:20,770
- Michael, really?
- No. That's cool. It is kinda confusing.

755
00:54:20,780 --> 00:54:26,900
- Oh, is it? So, you're confused?
- No, I mean, to the outside.

756
00:54:27,940 --> 00:54:32,230
Someone once said that, sexual orientation
goes beyond the act of sex and...

757
00:54:32,610 --> 00:54:36,190
Well, I think that makes sense for
what happened with me and John.

758
00:54:36,190 --> 00:54:39,610
So you're... You're really
straight underneath.

759
00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:44,360
No, I'm gay. I just did something that
wasn't necessarily about my sexuality.

760
00:54:45,070 --> 00:54:47,440
Do you mind if I use that excuse
sometime, love?

761
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,820
My friends say I'm like a gay
man trapped in a woman's body.

762
00:54:51,940 --> 00:54:54,610
We should go shopping sometime.
We'd have a right laugh.

763
00:54:54,940 --> 00:54:58,650
Yes, I'm sure we would have a laugh,
but not 'cause I'm gay. I'm straight.

764
00:54:58,650 --> 00:55:00,610
Oh, yeah. I'm not making any
insinuation,

765
00:55:00,610 --> 00:55:02,330
I'm just saying if you
did happen to be gay.

766
00:55:02,940 --> 00:55:05,980
And you are short of a diva. I do
know all the moves to "Vogue."

767
00:55:05,980 --> 00:55:09,190
- I have a wife. And kids.
- And a bit of a lisp.

768
00:55:10,650 --> 00:55:11,650
I'm just saying.

769
00:55:12,730 --> 00:55:13,820
So, did we bond?

770
00:55:15,190 --> 00:55:17,520
You're not going to go that angry
puce shade whenever I'm needed?

771
00:55:17,530 --> 00:55:20,650
Aw, says the man with the tango
penis.

772
00:55:22,980 --> 00:55:24,480
You've done enough. Thanks.

773
00:55:25,650 --> 00:55:28,530
- What do you mean?
- Maybe, you need to give Alex some space.

774
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:31,610
Is that what Alex wants?

775
00:55:33,190 --> 00:55:34,280
Yeah.

776
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,820
I think she's being kind because
she thinks you're lonely.

777
00:55:38,150 --> 00:55:39,530
- She said that?
- Yeah.

778
00:55:42,190 --> 00:55:44,480
Why am I asking you, I'll ask her.
Hey, Al.

779
00:55:48,030 --> 00:55:49,530
Oh, no.

780
00:55:50,530 --> 00:55:52,980
- What was that for?
- It was an accident.

781
00:55:52,980 --> 00:55:54,110
Oh, no.

782
00:55:54,780 --> 00:55:57,650
God, poor chap. He's soaked.

783
00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:00,110
Does that turn you on?

784
00:56:13,690 --> 00:56:17,860
Hello, you two. Where did you
come from?

785
00:56:18,530 --> 00:56:19,530
Where's your mommy?

786
00:56:21,030 --> 00:56:22,980
Where's your mum...
What?

787
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:25,980
Would you like some chocolate?

788
00:56:27,780 --> 00:56:29,940
Now since you're both so
sweet...

789
00:56:32,190 --> 00:56:33,530
I'm going to give one to you...

790
00:56:34,940 --> 00:56:38,690
and one to you. There you go!
Is that nice?

791
00:56:45,530 --> 00:56:48,730
Okay. Um, you both stop. Stop
it.

792
00:56:49,650 --> 00:56:51,730
Um, do you want to put that...
Put the cucumber back.

793
00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:57,230
Could you stop that? Do you want...

794
00:56:57,230 --> 00:57:00,190
Maybe just... I don't... I don't know.
Where's your mum...

795
00:57:00,190 --> 00:57:01,650
- Okay, stop that.
- Sam!

796
00:57:01,650 --> 00:57:02,650
Stop that!

797
00:57:04,940 --> 00:57:07,860
Pick this up.

798
00:57:08,110 --> 00:57:12,070
What? I know! I'm a terrible mother.
You... Oh, my God!

799
00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:16,110
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

800
00:57:16,610 --> 00:57:21,770
I just... I gave him some chocolate
and then he, um, but then I ran out.

801
00:57:21,780 --> 00:57:23,480
God! He's gonna be up for days.
Fuck!

802
00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:26,730
Okay, she's squashing the mush...
Stamping on the mushrooms there.

803
00:57:26,730 --> 00:57:29,690
Right. I'll pay for this.
Don't worry. So sorry.

804
00:57:29,690 --> 00:57:34,280
- My fault. Um, they're lovely.
- What're you having?

805
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:39,690
Hope it's a girl. Because girls never
turn psycho and shoot up schools.

806
00:57:40,570 --> 00:57:42,530
And you know little boys,
they pee on your face...

807
00:57:42,650 --> 00:57:45,150
every time you change their
nappy.

808
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,570
And we've demonized any kind
of light spanking

809
00:57:48,570 --> 00:57:50,280
so that playing card's off the
table.

810
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:53,650
You know, I thought some...
The last month of pregnancy,

811
00:57:53,650 --> 00:57:56,150
when my pelvis was splitting
open,

812
00:57:56,150 --> 00:57:59,780
and I was hobbling around on crutches.
It was hell. But um...

813
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,280
But then I had Sam.

814
00:58:03,190 --> 00:58:04,790
I'm having a boy.

815
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:07,780
- Bugger.
- Thank you.

816
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,900
- Well. At least, you're young.
- I'm 40.

817
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,120
I'd say I'm sorry, but, um...

818
00:58:16,530 --> 00:58:18,110
you've actually made me feel
less alone.

819
00:58:20,940 --> 00:58:22,780
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

820
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:26,480
I used to be pretty like you.

821
00:58:27,190 --> 00:58:28,940
Great. Okay.

822
00:58:29,730 --> 00:58:31,610
- Good luck.
- C'mon, Sam!

823
00:58:32,690 --> 00:58:34,940
C'mon, darling, let's
get your brother. Sam!

824
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:38,530
Sam!

825
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,900
- You into sports?
- Yes!

826
00:59:11,900 --> 00:59:12,900
- Great!
- Chess!

827
00:59:20,650 --> 00:59:21,690
I know why I'm here.

828
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:27,110
Oh, um, yes.
Olivia thought we might get on.

829
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,600
And she wants to stop me trying
to steal her girlfriend.

830
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:34,360
- That's it exactly, actually, yeah.
- I'm even throwing her a baby shower.

831
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,400
Maybe you should throw yourself
a cold shower.

832
00:59:39,650 --> 00:59:42,440
How about we ease this situation
by getting hammered?

833
00:59:43,070 --> 00:59:44,900
Fuck, yes.

834
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,360
Alex, they need boundaries
or they will destroy everything.

835
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:05,000
- They're just a couple of kids.
- Okay, so don't... Please. Sorry.

836
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:11,440
Should we... should we just agree
to disagree about the whole...

837
01:00:11,780 --> 01:00:12,940
Parenting bit?

838
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:15,690
We've got plenty of time.

839
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,610
We'll be fine. Besides,
we're not gonna be alone.

840
01:00:20,030 --> 01:00:21,030
We've got John.

841
01:00:32,820 --> 01:00:34,900
- God, you're sexy.
- Yeah.

842
01:00:34,900 --> 01:00:37,440
No wonder you turned a gay
woman straight.

843
01:00:40,230 --> 01:00:42,820
I wonder if my wife's being gay
somewhere.

844
01:00:48,030 --> 01:00:52,150
- Hey! What's up, man?
- She left me.

845
01:00:53,650 --> 01:00:55,230
Age... ages ago.

846
01:00:55,980 --> 01:01:00,980
No reason. Just that I dry her
entire being up like a prune.

847
01:01:00,980 --> 01:01:06,820
No! They just do it to annoy you. Ha-ha!
We're in our little girly club,

848
01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:10,820
and you can't join because
of your stupid penis.

849
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,530
Well, my penis is not stupid.

850
01:01:16,860 --> 01:01:21,360
I used to pound her steak just the way
she liked it till it was extra thin.

851
01:01:21,690 --> 01:01:22,690
And in return she...

852
01:01:24,070 --> 01:01:25,980
pounded my heart till it
disappeared.

853
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:29,650
My penis is not stupid.

854
01:01:38,110 --> 01:01:41,530
- Oh, God. Sorry, sorry.
- It's okay.

855
01:01:42,030 --> 01:01:44,110
- Hang on!
- Okay.

856
01:01:44,530 --> 01:01:46,320
Okay, okay.

857
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:47,440
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

858
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:49,190
- What happened? Oh, gosh!
- Oh, gosh!

859
01:01:49,730 --> 01:01:52,780
All right. Let's just...
Let's just leave it, babe.

860
01:01:53,650 --> 01:01:55,110
I need to go for a piss, okay?

861
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:56,110
- Really?
- Yeah.

862
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:28,480
Isn't it a bit late in the day
for a shower?

863
01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:31,150
The baby waiters had
a month's waiting list.

864
01:02:31,570 --> 01:02:33,900
I know this because the
shower planner told me.

865
01:02:34,190 --> 01:02:35,550
I shit you not. The shower
planner.

866
01:02:38,780 --> 01:02:41,860
Are you about to be sick?

867
01:02:41,860 --> 01:02:43,690
I literally haven't slept in
three days,

868
01:02:43,690 --> 01:02:45,860
so I don't know
if I'm gonna puke or pass out.

869
01:02:46,690 --> 01:02:47,940
I'd go for the former.

870
01:02:47,940 --> 01:02:50,480
- These floors look pretty solid.
- Got it!

871
01:02:56,940 --> 01:03:00,650
Well, hello.
Fancy finding you here.

872
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:07,280
No! No, this isn't... We're not...
I'm just standing here.

873
01:03:07,780 --> 01:03:10,650
I meant Alex's baby shower.

874
01:03:11,030 --> 01:03:15,940
- The girl you love like a sister.
- Yes. Yeah, I know. I just...

875
01:03:16,730 --> 01:03:18,360
I was just making conversation.

876
01:03:22,650 --> 01:03:27,150
- Oh, my gosh! You're pregnant, too. Aw.
- Oh, my gosh!

877
01:03:28,650 --> 01:03:30,030
How did you guess?

878
01:03:30,610 --> 01:03:32,900
You've got a little bit of sick
in your hair.

879
01:03:32,900 --> 01:03:33,900
I know.

880
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:35,650
- I know. I put it in there.
- Oh!

881
01:03:35,650 --> 01:03:37,610
'Cause it's good for the
natural protein fiber oils.

882
01:03:37,610 --> 01:03:39,480
- Oh!
- Yeah.

883
01:03:39,780 --> 01:03:41,940
John and Alex have such
fascinating friends.

884
01:03:41,940 --> 01:03:43,580
What did you call them?

885
01:03:43,650 --> 01:03:44,650
John and Alex.

886
01:03:45,150 --> 01:03:46,980
It's not John and Alex. It is
John...

887
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:49,150
and...

888
01:03:54,070 --> 01:03:55,980
- Alex.
- That's what I said.

889
01:03:56,230 --> 01:03:58,030
- John and Alex...
- No, you didn't.

890
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,200
'Cause you're saying it
like they're together,

891
01:04:00,690 --> 01:04:02,610
putting them in a sentence together. They
don't belong in a sentence together.

892
01:04:02,860 --> 01:04:03,940
I'm sorry.

893
01:04:03,940 --> 01:04:04,860
- It's okay.
- I'm sorry, who are you?

894
01:04:04,860 --> 01:04:06,980
- Olivia! I'm Olivia.
- Ah! Yeah.

895
01:04:09,730 --> 01:04:10,860
Olivia and Alex.

896
01:04:12,780 --> 01:04:14,820
- Al and Ol?
- We're just so used to...

897
01:04:15,690 --> 01:04:17,190
- John and Alex.
- Yeah.

898
01:04:20,030 --> 01:04:22,020
- Who are you?
- Uh, Luke Hammond.

899
01:04:22,030 --> 01:04:25,730
- Oh!
- CEO of Mannism. Hail to the Alpha.

900
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:31,860
I'm gonna need to pop back in
for another puke.

901
01:04:32,190 --> 01:04:33,820
Sure.

902
01:04:34,690 --> 01:04:36,820
- Mother.
- There you go.

903
01:04:37,690 --> 01:04:38,780
Right.

904
01:04:39,900 --> 01:04:44,730
Condoms. A massive box of
condoms.

905
01:04:45,070 --> 01:04:48,070
Well, I never make the same
mistake twice.

906
01:04:49,030 --> 01:04:50,830
I make it five or six times
just to be sure...

907
01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:54,440
Moving on.

908
01:04:55,570 --> 01:04:56,480
All right, let's have
another family present.

909
01:04:57,230 --> 01:04:59,610
- Here's mine.
- Thank you, John-O.

910
01:05:00,070 --> 01:05:03,650
Oh!

911
01:05:06,230 --> 01:05:07,230
John.

912
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:09,900
It's a first edition.

913
01:05:11,730 --> 01:05:16,400
I know that our baby is going
to open my eyes to the world,

914
01:05:17,150 --> 01:05:20,440
in as many varied and
wonderful ways as you have.

915
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:22,530
Aw.

916
01:05:23,730 --> 01:05:26,610
- Thanks.
- To John and Alex.

917
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:30,980
- To John and Alex.
- Thank you from both of us.

918
01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:33,150
- It's very kind.
- Sorry, John?

919
01:05:34,900 --> 01:05:37,150
- What was that?
- It's very kind of everyone.

920
01:05:37,150 --> 01:05:38,150
No, before.

921
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,980
- What you said before?
- Thank you from both of us.

922
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:43,570
Since when do you speak on
Alex's behalf?

923
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:45,900
- Uh, okay, Olivia.
- Huh?

924
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:49,440
I just asked a question.
It's a very simple question.

925
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:53,730
I just wanna know, when I am
conversing with my girlfriend,

926
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:57,230
if I should be addressing you?

927
01:05:58,110 --> 01:06:00,610
Hello! I'm still here. Remember
me?

928
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:04,770
You enjoying your fetus shaped
cookies?

929
01:06:04,780 --> 01:06:07,980
- Just calm down, will ya?
- Oh, calm down.

930
01:06:07,980 --> 01:06:09,150
No, John. No.

931
01:06:11,650 --> 01:06:13,900
You don't tell me to calm down.

932
01:06:13,900 --> 01:06:17,530
- Easy.
- Shut. The fuck. Up!

933
01:06:17,820 --> 01:06:18,980
Babe?

934
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:22,480
- Not now, babe.
- If not now, then when? When?

935
01:06:23,030 --> 01:06:28,650
Can I tell this mindless
human being to back off?

936
01:06:30,940 --> 01:06:33,730
How about when we realize that
our child

937
01:06:34,030 --> 01:06:39,320
is being raised on the
misogynistic values of Mannism?

938
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:44,230
Or, what about when we... Mm-hmm.
When I have to buy a bigger house

939
01:06:44,650 --> 01:06:46,730
because John wants to move in.

940
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:50,030
Um, we should let him because
he's lonely and divorced.

941
01:06:50,860 --> 01:06:56,400
- And after all, he's the real father.
- Stop it, Olivia. He's trying.

942
01:06:56,820 --> 01:06:59,780
Am I just supposed to forget that
he's the one you cheated with.

943
01:07:00,530 --> 01:07:01,530
C'mon! She didn't.

944
01:07:02,780 --> 01:07:05,690
What is this? Alex?

945
01:07:06,230 --> 01:07:09,480
You're gay. But then you're straight.
Then you're gay again.

946
01:07:10,030 --> 01:07:12,150
Oh, and apparently, you're
pregnant woman of the year!

947
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:14,110
I'm ti... I just can't keep up.

948
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:19,530
I really can't. At some
point, you have to choose.

949
01:07:20,110 --> 01:07:21,940
No, I don't.

950
01:07:22,860 --> 01:07:25,190
You are supposed to love all of
it.

951
01:07:27,820 --> 01:07:29,740
I'm sorry I don't fit
into your tight knit plans.

952
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:33,730
Those plans were always about
you.

953
01:07:34,440 --> 01:07:37,730
All I ever wanted was to
give you a proper family.

954
01:07:38,030 --> 01:07:41,780
Yeah. The perfect family, yeah?
Like Ben's?

955
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,690
Ben, who is getting divorced.

956
01:07:48,610 --> 01:07:50,440
What?

957
01:07:51,690 --> 01:07:53,440
Hello. Yes.

958
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:55,360
I'm the one with a failed
marriage.

959
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:59,480
- Glad everyone's been made aware.
- Shocker.

960
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:02,610
Everyone's got their shit,
Olivia, right?

961
01:08:04,190 --> 01:08:06,320
- Alex, what is it?
- I think you should leave, Olivia.

962
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:08,610
- She doesn't have to leave.
- Okay, so I misjudged that.

963
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:12,730
- Oh! I think I'm having a contraction.
- Okay, it's fine. She's too early.

964
01:08:12,730 --> 01:08:15,070
- She's not having a contraction.
- I'm sure it's a contraction.

965
01:08:15,070 --> 01:08:16,610
- -It's not
gonna be a contraction.

966
01:08:16,610 --> 01:08:18,980
- Fuck!
- We could, of course, be wrong.

967
01:08:21,980 --> 01:08:23,110
Doctor Parks.

968
01:08:24,440 --> 01:08:25,480
Oh hey, doc. We got a lot of snot
coming out of this one's hoo-ha.

969
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:28,110
I wanted to be a concert
pianist.

970
01:08:29,110 --> 01:08:30,770
All right. We'll get the nurse
to set you up.

971
01:08:30,780 --> 01:08:31,860
- Who's coming?
- I am.

972
01:08:31,860 --> 01:08:34,280
- Right take that!
- Yep, yep. All right, be careful.

973
01:08:35,150 --> 01:08:36,150
Oh!

974
01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:40,070
Okay, I'll just... I'll be here.

975
01:08:45,780 --> 01:08:46,900
Right then.

976
01:08:51,980 --> 01:08:53,030
Oh!

977
01:08:54,230 --> 01:08:57,480
Baby's very low down in your pelvis.
Which is good.

978
01:08:57,780 --> 01:08:59,480
I'm just gonna have a little
listen.

979
01:09:08,150 --> 01:09:09,320
I can't find...

980
01:09:13,730 --> 01:09:15,570
Well, let me just get Doctor
Parks.

981
01:09:16,650 --> 01:09:19,320
It's all fine. It's going to be
fine.

982
01:09:20,150 --> 01:09:22,070
- Just let him out there know, okay?
- Okay.

983
01:09:22,070 --> 01:09:23,320
- You all right?
- Mm-hmm.

984
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:24,320
- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.

985
01:09:29,280 --> 01:09:31,110
- John.
- What's happening?

986
01:09:31,110 --> 01:09:33,360
We don't know.
They've gone to get the doctor.

987
01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:34,360
Why, what's wrong?

988
01:09:34,940 --> 01:09:36,400
- Should I speak to someone?
- I think...

989
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,190
it was trouble finding the heartbeat
but it's already quite far down.

990
01:09:38,690 --> 01:09:42,150
- There's contractions, so...
- So, you wouldn't be able to find it.

991
01:09:42,150 --> 01:09:43,150
- Right.
- Okay.

992
01:09:45,190 --> 01:09:46,280
She will be fine.

993
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:48,400
Yeah.

994
01:09:48,690 --> 01:09:51,400
Um, okay.

995
01:09:56,190 --> 01:09:58,480
- Miss Jones?
- Hi.

996
01:10:18,070 --> 01:10:19,110
Oh!

997
01:10:52,070 --> 01:10:53,070
I'm so sorry.

998
01:10:55,730 --> 01:10:57,610
There's no heartbeat. I'm so
sorry.

999
01:11:01,030 --> 01:11:03,440
What? Wait, wait.

1000
01:11:04,440 --> 01:11:08,440
- Are you sure? Could you try it again?
- No heartbeat was detected. I'm certain.

1001
01:11:08,860 --> 01:11:11,900
How are you certain?
Maybe, you made a mistake.

1002
01:11:12,780 --> 01:11:14,610
Most...

1003
01:11:15,940 --> 01:11:18,610
Most commonly, an infection has occurred.
We'll do further tests.

1004
01:11:20,730 --> 01:11:21,940
I know this is hard.

1005
01:11:22,940 --> 01:11:25,060
But I'm afraid we have to think
of Miss Jones' safety.

1006
01:11:25,440 --> 01:11:28,780
Now, and the safest step now
is to deliver this baby.

1007
01:11:30,780 --> 01:11:35,110
Plea... Please could you... could you
just do it one more time for us?

1008
01:11:35,110 --> 01:11:35,570
Just one more time again.

1009
01:11:36,070 --> 01:11:38,070
I'm so sorry.

1010
01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:40,320
She's gone.

1011
01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:42,400
She?

1012
01:11:45,110 --> 01:11:46,320
Could you give us a minute?

1013
01:12:15,230 --> 01:12:16,790
- Babe?
- Yes, I'm here.

1014
01:12:17,110 --> 01:12:19,530
I don't want you here.

1015
01:12:20,650 --> 01:12:23,210
I don't want this in anyone's memory.
I just want to get it done.

1016
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:27,650
- Are you sure?
- Please.

1017
01:12:57,570 --> 01:13:02,570
"Seldom, except in books, do
the dying utter memorable words,

1018
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:06,730
see visions, or depart
with beatified countenances...

1019
01:13:08,730 --> 01:13:11,530
and those who have sped
many parting souls know

1020
01:13:11,940 --> 01:13:17,780
that to most the end comes as
naturally and simply as sleep.

1021
01:13:19,320 --> 01:13:22,530
As Beth had hoped,
the tide went out easily...

1022
01:13:26,150 --> 01:13:28,360
and in the dark hour before the
dawn...

1023
01:13:29,440 --> 01:13:31,980
on the bosom where she
had drawn her first breath...

1024
01:13:33,530 --> 01:13:35,280
she quietly drew her last.

1025
01:13:36,730 --> 01:13:39,400
With no farewell but one loving
look...

1026
01:13:41,230 --> 01:13:42,230
one little sigh."

1027
01:15:18,190 --> 01:15:21,230
Look, I know you're probably
gonna wanna talk about it...

1028
01:15:23,030 --> 01:15:24,110
about her.

1029
01:15:25,820 --> 01:15:26,900
But you see, I can't.

1030
01:15:28,480 --> 01:15:29,920
I don't know if I'll ever be
able to.

1031
01:15:33,650 --> 01:15:35,370
I was so looking forward
to being something.

1032
01:15:37,530 --> 01:15:38,610
Anything.

1033
01:15:43,690 --> 01:15:45,730
- Is John okay?
- Uh...

1034
01:15:48,440 --> 01:15:49,570
When he cries...

1035
01:15:50,730 --> 01:15:52,810
his entire body crumples up
like a little old lady's.

1036
01:15:55,570 --> 01:15:56,570
That's funny.

1037
01:15:57,280 --> 01:15:59,530
- It's not.
- No.

1038
01:16:02,820 --> 01:16:04,780
I actually saw him this morning.

1039
01:16:06,400 --> 01:16:08,650
I can't help waddling...

1040
01:16:09,530 --> 01:16:12,730
about, reminding him... Sorry.

1041
01:16:14,230 --> 01:16:17,110
Maybe, it's best if you keep
your distance from him a bit.

1042
01:16:20,730 --> 01:16:21,730
Right. Okay.

1043
01:16:24,190 --> 01:16:25,670
We could go to my parents', I
suppose.

1044
01:16:27,150 --> 01:16:28,480
Or you can go if you want.

1045
01:16:30,780 --> 01:16:31,860
Darling!

1046
01:16:32,610 --> 01:16:34,610
- We're going to have such fun.
- Oh!

1047
01:16:34,610 --> 01:16:37,940
Daddy's birthday party's coming up.
I've invited that Biggles Tilsbury.

1048
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:42,610
- I've got such a girl crush on her.
- You can just say crush, Mummy.

1049
01:16:43,570 --> 01:16:46,860
- Anyway, I shouldn't be here for long.
- You can stay here as long as you like.

1050
01:16:46,860 --> 01:16:48,030
We really are fine.

1051
01:16:49,650 --> 01:16:52,190
I think it's time you started thinking
about this baby other than that girl.

1052
01:16:52,190 --> 01:16:53,980
Don't you?

1053
01:17:16,070 --> 01:17:17,150
Hello!

1054
01:17:18,480 --> 01:17:23,150
Oh, look. John's sporting a man
bun, the final tosser frontier.

1055
01:17:23,440 --> 01:17:24,730
He's a handsome devil.

1056
01:17:25,900 --> 01:17:26,900
Sorry, darling.

1057
01:17:27,650 --> 01:17:32,190
Oh, look! Biggles Tilsbury just got here.
You two would make a lovely couple.

1058
01:17:32,650 --> 01:17:34,940
Thanks, Mummy. I still have a
girlfriend.

1059
01:17:36,980 --> 01:17:41,570
- -Where's
Magda and the girls then?

1060
01:17:42,610 --> 01:17:46,480
Oh, um, she took the kids
on a weekend away.

1061
01:17:46,480 --> 01:17:49,440
Isn't that a bit odd, going on
holiday without your husband?

1062
01:17:49,780 --> 01:17:53,940
- Um...
- Not at all, actually. No, um...

1063
01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:57,690
- Trudy leaves Sting behind all the time.
- Does she now?

1064
01:17:58,360 --> 01:18:00,070
- Bully for her.
- Hmm.

1065
01:18:02,480 --> 01:18:06,690
This is organic Hereford
blackcurrant vodka.

1066
01:18:09,110 --> 01:18:11,780
And this is the coolest old
person party I have ever seen.

1067
01:18:13,730 --> 01:18:14,730
I better not.

1068
01:18:15,190 --> 01:18:19,650
Alex, an international playboy
once said, "To drink is to live".

1069
01:18:20,400 --> 01:18:23,440
And that international playboy
was me!

1070
01:18:26,690 --> 01:18:27,970
Yeah, Alex. What you got to
lose?

1071
01:18:30,900 --> 01:18:31,900
Just one shot.

1072
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:36,480
Hmm.

1073
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:39,230
- Very nice to see you.
- Whatto!

1074
01:18:39,230 --> 01:18:41,230
Oh! Sorry.

1075
01:18:41,820 --> 01:18:46,230
- Biggles, how are you? Very long time.
- Very long time, yeah.

1076
01:18:46,230 --> 01:18:49,900
The last thing I remember was
running around your garden naked.

1077
01:18:50,190 --> 01:18:51,530
Oh!

1078
01:18:51,940 --> 01:18:54,730
- So, last week then?
- No, no. We were five.

1079
01:18:55,150 --> 01:18:56,230
Yes, no. I was joking.

1080
01:18:57,530 --> 01:19:01,610
Oh, right. Yeah, I know, 'cause
wouldn't have been last week.

1081
01:19:01,610 --> 01:19:03,360
- No.
- Wouldn't have been naked.

1082
01:19:04,480 --> 01:19:06,190
Aren't you a bit old to be
having a baby?

1083
01:19:07,190 --> 01:19:10,860
- Uh, I guess not.
- Ah! Well, I do hope it's normal.

1084
01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,230
Thank you.

1085
01:19:14,730 --> 01:19:17,110
Most kind. Ben.

1086
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:21,320
Come over. Biggles, do you remember Ben?
This is my brother.

1087
01:19:21,610 --> 01:19:25,940
- Uh, vaguely.
- You babysat me through childhood.

1088
01:19:25,940 --> 01:19:28,860
- Oh!
- We went to the same school

1089
01:19:29,530 --> 01:19:30,650
and then university.

1090
01:19:31,690 --> 01:19:33,130
Ben? Whose wife is a rampant
shagger?

1091
01:19:36,070 --> 01:19:37,530
Yep. That Ben.

1092
01:19:38,440 --> 01:19:40,280
You used to wet the bed, didn't
you?

1093
01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:46,350
Get up!

1094
01:20:22,320 --> 01:20:24,190
Hi!

1095
01:20:24,690 --> 01:20:25,820
Alex.

1096
01:20:28,150 --> 01:20:28,440
Hey.

1097
01:20:29,150 --> 01:20:31,280
You weren't just going to
leave, were you?

1098
01:20:31,570 --> 01:20:34,230
No. I just needed a moment away
from it all.

1099
01:20:35,320 --> 01:20:36,320
You've been drinking.

1100
01:20:37,860 --> 01:20:41,190
- Yeah! I'm allowed now, remember?
- I know. I...

1101
01:20:43,480 --> 01:20:45,480
I wasn't saying...

1102
01:20:52,480 --> 01:20:54,200
- Did you not get the invite?
- Yeah. I'm...

1103
01:20:56,280 --> 01:20:57,690
stood right here.

1104
01:20:57,690 --> 01:21:00,280
Well, what part of "garden chic"
do hot pants fit under?

1105
01:21:01,360 --> 01:21:04,650
I don't know. Is there
a I-don't-give-a-fuck option?

1106
01:21:04,650 --> 01:21:05,780
Yeah, okay.

1107
01:21:09,320 --> 01:21:12,400
Alex, can we try and get
back to normal? Please?

1108
01:21:13,780 --> 01:21:17,440
Maybe, less of the swearing,
smoking, boozing?

1109
01:21:18,820 --> 01:21:20,780
More of the early nights, yoga?

1110
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:27,360
So, I can be a good mum to my
non-existent child, is that it?

1111
01:21:27,820 --> 01:21:31,530
No. So you can be a good mother to mine.
For ours.

1112
01:21:34,440 --> 01:21:38,070
- I need more time.
- We don't have any more time, Alex.

1113
01:21:41,030 --> 01:21:42,030
Please.

1114
01:21:43,570 --> 01:21:45,440
We need you.

1115
01:21:48,900 --> 01:21:53,110
I can't be everything you want me
to be right now. I'm so sorry.

1116
01:22:03,780 --> 01:22:05,440
This feels like something has
broken.

1117
01:22:05,940 --> 01:22:07,530
- It's just changed.
- No.

1118
01:22:10,610 --> 01:22:15,110
I shouldn't feel so lost when I'm
where I always wanted to be.

1119
01:22:15,940 --> 01:22:16,940
Olivia!

1120
01:22:21,280 --> 01:22:22,280
Should I go?

1121
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:28,230
Olivia?

1122
01:22:53,650 --> 01:22:54,730
Wow!

1123
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:01,820
- Has she even seen this?
- No.

1124
01:23:08,980 --> 01:23:10,780
Why is it yellow? She's having
a boy.

1125
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:13,650
And what if it was a boy that
wanted to be a girl, Jonathan?

1126
01:23:13,650 --> 01:23:15,530
Yeah, all right.

1127
01:23:16,980 --> 01:23:19,700
All right. I'm a middle class,
straight, white guy and I suck, sorry.

1128
01:23:21,780 --> 01:23:26,030
To teach is to learn yourself. It's
a noble and inspiring profession.

1129
01:23:26,530 --> 01:23:27,530
Good.

1130
01:23:27,980 --> 01:23:30,320
- And Miss Jones?
- What?

1131
01:23:34,650 --> 01:23:35,730
Um...

1132
01:23:37,030 --> 01:23:40,320
I guess if I'm a teacher then
I won't be some wired artist,

1133
01:23:40,320 --> 01:23:41,480
desperate for her next joint.

1134
01:23:42,980 --> 01:23:45,230
I'll be normal. Be part of the
race.

1135
01:23:46,940 --> 01:23:48,360
That sounds quite nice, now.

1136
01:23:53,530 --> 01:23:54,650
And yeah, what she said.

1137
01:24:02,860 --> 01:24:05,480
- Whatto.
- Hello, Biggles.

1138
01:24:05,730 --> 01:24:09,230
Bought the backgammon. Bit of competition
should help get that baby out.

1139
01:24:09,570 --> 01:24:11,030
Oh, yay!

1140
01:24:12,070 --> 01:24:16,900
- John, what on earth are you doing here?
- Hold the door. I have to talk to you.

1141
01:24:17,940 --> 01:24:20,570
- Who's this?
- Biggles Tilsbury. How do you do?

1142
01:24:21,980 --> 01:24:23,270
That is such a stupid name.

1143
01:24:23,280 --> 01:24:26,780
No offense. You should be a dog
in a handbag, in like, 2001.

1144
01:24:27,820 --> 01:24:29,530
- Goodbye, John.
- I have to talk to you.

1145
01:24:29,900 --> 01:24:31,440
- We're busy.
- It's Alex.

1146
01:24:34,030 --> 01:24:35,870
- What's wrong with Alex?
- Do you like my bun?

1147
01:24:38,570 --> 01:24:41,370
- I don't have time for this, John.
- No. But, yet, you never have time.

1148
01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:44,360
I've lost the love of my life, I'm
40 and I live with my parents

1149
01:24:44,360 --> 01:24:46,570
and I'm about to shit out
another human being.

1150
01:24:50,900 --> 01:24:54,570
Have you got a point in this
conversation?

1151
01:24:54,570 --> 01:24:55,030
Or in life?

1152
01:24:55,030 --> 01:24:57,280
Boo-fucking-hoo!

1153
01:24:59,780 --> 01:25:02,110
You know what you may not know,
Olivia?

1154
01:25:03,400 --> 01:25:05,110
I was born with scoliosis.

1155
01:25:06,190 --> 01:25:07,190
I had a back brace

1156
01:25:07,440 --> 01:25:10,030
right through school
to straighten things out.

1157
01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:11,440
- Okay.
- I know.

1158
01:25:11,820 --> 01:25:16,150
You're thinking, "But how he's
so tall and Greek-God like?

1159
01:25:16,150 --> 01:25:18,830
Well, that was not the case back then.
I was twisted like a pretzel.

1160
01:25:19,980 --> 01:25:24,360
The other boys used to hang me by
my brace from the football goal net

1161
01:25:24,780 --> 01:25:26,980
and then kick balls at my head.

1162
01:25:27,280 --> 01:25:28,730
- Oh!
- Right at my head.

1163
01:25:29,480 --> 01:25:31,820
- Gosh!
- Yup. And these were Scottish boys, not...

1164
01:25:32,940 --> 01:25:37,400
ya Harry Potter, posh, wee, skinny things.
These are real proper men,

1165
01:25:37,820 --> 01:25:40,150
kicking balls, right at my head.

1166
01:25:41,820 --> 01:25:43,100
And then, they'd leave me there.

1167
01:25:43,480 --> 01:25:46,940
All night, sometimes.
I just... I'd swing about a bit.

1168
01:25:47,650 --> 01:25:51,070
Come crashing down.
Mess up my back some more.

1169
01:25:53,320 --> 01:25:54,440
- Sounds painful.
- Oh, yep.

1170
01:25:56,650 --> 01:25:57,650
Oh, yeah.

1171
01:25:59,690 --> 01:26:03,190
Then now... I'm the one causing
the pain.

1172
01:26:04,440 --> 01:26:07,690
Breaking the ladies' heart.
Left, right, center, So...

1173
01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:10,440
I can get anyone I want.

1174
01:26:12,900 --> 01:26:14,020
You know who I couldn't get?

1175
01:26:16,280 --> 01:26:16,860
Okay, well...

1176
01:26:17,230 --> 01:26:19,650
Technically, you did get Alex,

1177
01:26:19,650 --> 01:26:21,810
so I don't know if this little
story is really working.

1178
01:26:22,150 --> 01:26:24,280
No, all I got Alex was blind
drunk.

1179
01:26:26,150 --> 01:26:28,820
I've loved her since I first
saw her.

1180
01:26:30,150 --> 01:26:33,190
Since she shouted at me for directing
the Jehovah's witness' to your door.

1181
01:26:36,150 --> 01:26:37,530
To me, she was it.

1182
01:26:40,230 --> 01:26:41,230
And it...

1183
01:26:43,280 --> 01:26:44,280
loves only you.

1184
01:26:48,780 --> 01:26:50,690
Alex is...

1185
01:26:51,690 --> 01:26:55,650
100% bona fide carpet muncher...

1186
01:26:58,690 --> 01:26:59,690
and your carpet...

1187
01:27:00,730 --> 01:27:01,730
is the only one...

1188
01:27:03,230 --> 01:27:04,230
she wants to munch.

1189
01:27:05,650 --> 01:27:07,980
That was very sweet for about a
second.

1190
01:27:09,150 --> 01:27:11,230
You know, she redecorated
the spare room...

1191
01:27:12,230 --> 01:27:13,230
for the baby.

1192
01:27:16,530 --> 01:27:18,030
I didn't know that.

1193
01:27:29,150 --> 01:27:32,570
- I was just so scared.
- I know you were. I was too.

1194
01:27:36,070 --> 01:27:37,440
I really wanted to be a dad.

1195
01:27:44,230 --> 01:27:45,570
Could you settle for uncle?

1196
01:27:52,780 --> 01:27:54,110
- C'mon.
- John, wait.

1197
01:27:54,110 --> 01:27:57,820
Wait, John. John, John, John, John, John.
I'm not just...

1198
01:27:57,820 --> 01:27:59,220
John, please. I can feel your
beard.

1199
01:28:00,860 --> 01:28:04,230
- Darling, where you're going?
- I'm going home.

1200
01:28:05,110 --> 01:28:06,350
- Are you trying to run?
- Yeah.

1201
01:28:06,440 --> 01:28:09,650
- That is the general idea.
- Why?

1202
01:28:10,030 --> 01:28:13,650
It just feels like a...
running kind of moment.

1203
01:28:13,940 --> 01:28:16,820
She's going to get the
love of her, and my life.

1204
01:28:16,820 --> 01:28:18,260
- Really?
- Sounds complicated.

1205
01:28:18,610 --> 01:28:22,230
That tummy rather kills romance
doesn't it, darling?

1206
01:28:22,230 --> 01:28:23,730
Ah! Yes.

1207
01:28:24,730 --> 01:28:26,820
It does. It does.

1208
01:28:27,820 --> 01:28:28,820
Thank you, Mummy.

1209
01:28:29,820 --> 01:28:32,320
- Cup of tea before you go?
- I mean, we probably have time.

1210
01:28:32,320 --> 01:28:33,400
John!

1211
01:28:48,150 --> 01:28:50,360
It is a toe ring but I'm
gonna get you a proper ring.

1212
01:28:50,650 --> 01:28:51,650
Alex...

1213
01:28:52,480 --> 01:28:53,730
I want to marry you.

1214
01:28:54,820 --> 01:28:56,480
Because I do love it all.

1215
01:28:57,110 --> 01:28:59,730
If you're a stoner,
or an artist or...

1216
01:29:01,070 --> 01:29:03,780
a bloody astronaut. I don't care.
You're you.

1217
01:29:05,190 --> 01:29:09,530
You're so kind, and so great,
and just... Just...

1218
01:29:12,730 --> 01:29:15,650
You're just a great person, Alex
and obviously,

1219
01:29:15,650 --> 01:29:17,020
by the way, you're so much
better than an astronaut.

1220
01:29:17,030 --> 01:29:19,980
And... But actually, you're better
than anyone I can think of,

1221
01:29:19,980 --> 01:29:24,440
so I'm going to stop waffling
and beg you. Alex...

1222
01:29:25,940 --> 01:29:26,980
please be with me forever.

1223
01:29:35,780 --> 01:29:39,150
- "You're better than an
astronaut?" -

1224
01:29:40,400 --> 01:29:43,150
I'm still not that great
at proposing or...

1225
01:29:44,820 --> 01:29:48,320
- to be fair, that great at any of it.
- I don't think either of us are.

1226
01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:58,730
- What?
- I think I've just burst.

1227
01:30:02,070 --> 01:30:03,610
- John!
- He's in the car.

1228
01:30:04,860 --> 01:30:06,030
'Course, he is.

1229
01:30:06,360 --> 01:30:08,730
- Go slow, go slow, go slow.
- Breathe.

1230
01:30:30,440 --> 01:30:31,440
I'll just be here.

1231
01:30:33,190 --> 01:30:34,190
You don't have to come.

1232
01:30:35,030 --> 01:30:36,860
I know.

1233
01:30:42,400 --> 01:30:47,610
Right, Miss Miller, let's prove
geriatrics can still have kids, okay?

1234
01:30:48,030 --> 01:30:50,440
That's my joke.

1235
01:30:50,440 --> 01:30:54,520
Right. I do not want to be down here
for too long so c'mon now, push!

1236
01:31:29,980 --> 01:31:34,820
- Cake, you two?
- We've already had a ton of cake.

1237
01:31:35,320 --> 01:31:37,080
Right.
This one is without the hash.

1238
01:31:41,320 --> 01:31:42,320
Cake?

1239
01:31:42,860 --> 01:31:45,280
- No, thank you.
- Beats the office, eh, Charles?

1240
01:31:45,650 --> 01:31:48,440
- Too bloody hot in here.
- Or not.

1241
01:31:49,940 --> 01:31:53,150
Ben, will you please have some
of our mother's cake?

1242
01:31:53,150 --> 01:31:56,440
I actually think masculinity is
overrated, personally. Thank you.

1243
01:31:56,440 --> 01:31:57,480
Thank you.

1244
01:31:59,030 --> 01:32:00,980
Hello, my sweet boy.

1245
01:32:01,400 --> 01:32:03,030
Upsy-daisy.

1246
01:32:06,070 --> 01:32:07,730
Some days, I'm a good mother.

1247
01:32:09,070 --> 01:32:11,570
Some days, I'm a bit of a crap
one.

1248
01:32:28,150 --> 01:32:30,030
How was your first
Christmas, eh?

1249
01:32:30,690 --> 01:32:32,330
Alex and I never did
get married.

1250
01:32:34,730 --> 01:32:38,190
After everything that had happened,
it didn't seem important.

1251
01:32:39,150 --> 01:32:41,320
It's no longer about all those
labels.

1252
01:32:42,730 --> 01:32:45,860
I'm simply about you, me and
him.

1253
01:35:51,610 --> 01:35:53,900
Your mammalian roots...

1254
01:35:54,230 --> 01:35:56,520
okay? Just have some respect
for those.

1255
01:35:56,530 --> 01:35:57,480
Has anyone ever seen
an elephant give birth?

1256
01:35:58,150 --> 01:36:01,980
No? Oh, you have to see that,
that's amazing.

1257
01:36:01,980 --> 01:36:04,110
Has anyone seen a chimpanzee
give birth?

1258
01:36:04,730 --> 01:36:07,280
No? Has anyone seen, like, a
family pet?

1259
01:36:07,780 --> 01:36:09,360
- Or...
- Yeah.

1260
01:36:09,780 --> 01:36:11,230
Uh, gerbil.

1261
01:36:11,690 --> 01:36:13,690
John?
Seriously, John?

1262
01:36:13,690 --> 01:36:15,690
This is part of the problem.
We are so disconnected

1263
01:36:15,730 --> 01:36:18,610
from our natural history.

1264
01:36:18,610 --> 01:36:21,610
That we believe that birth is not
for us but you know everybody,

1265
01:36:22,320 --> 01:36:23,900
everybody eats, everybody
shits...

1266
01:36:28,280 --> 01:36:30,770
- What was that for?
- It was an accident.

1267
01:36:30,780 --> 01:36:31,780
Oh, no.

1268
01:36:32,650 --> 01:36:37,440
Oh, no. The baby. The baby. The baby.
The baby. The baby. The baby. The baby.

1269
01:36:37,440 --> 01:36:40,980
The baby. The baby. The baby.
The baby. No! No!

1270
01:36:41,780 --> 01:36:44,320
Bit of a handful, I'd imagine.

1271
01:36:45,190 --> 01:36:49,030
- Would you consider divorce or...
- Um...

1272
01:36:50,360 --> 01:36:52,900
Yeah, probably don't
wanna talk about it...

1273
01:36:53,150 --> 01:36:55,070
like here... with you...

1274
01:36:55,070 --> 01:36:57,900
One of those open
relationships, is it?

1275
01:37:00,280 --> 01:37:03,070
- So nice to catch up.
- It really is. What a... What a treat.

1276
01:37:03,360 --> 01:37:05,360
To see you and it...
Just you...

1277
01:37:06,110 --> 01:37:07,190
Um, just...

1278
01:37:07,190 --> 01:37:08,670
I think I've got a ladybird in
my ear.

1279
01:37:08,820 --> 01:37:11,650
- That's it. Um. Um, yeah, yeah.
- Oh!

1280
01:37:11,650 --> 01:37:13,690
- Cut!
- Sorry.

1281
01:37:15,320 --> 01:37:19,440
I actively hope that baby's not mine.
I will punch you right in the boob.

1282
01:37:21,360 --> 01:37:22,730
You make me sick.

1283
01:37:26,530 --> 01:37:29,030
Please say cut!

1284
01:37:31,530 --> 01:37:32,530
Look, babe!

1285
01:37:36,610 --> 01:37:38,650
Look!

1286
01:37:47,440 --> 01:37:48,820
I'm sorry to interrupt.

1287
01:37:50,190 --> 01:37:54,360
What's happening? I want a part of this.
This looks like fun.