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- >be Uncle Eddie Patterfamilia.
- >yes THAT Uncle Eddie. You've seen my work. Spectacular.
- >for the uptight pussies in the crowd, you used to act and direct in those "barely legal" videos
- >your speciality was assfucking 18 year old girls while making them suck giant lollipops
- >then you jam the lolli in their snatch and...
- >well, you get the idea
- >then you got Hepatitis. no one would work with you. can't blame them, but it still sucks
- >but that was last year. a few months ago you were contacted by some producer for The Hub
- >you hadn't heard of the guy, but you were in totally different industries.
- >seems he knew you, though, and liked your work. he was offering a job
- >a GOOD job. director for two shows just for fluffy ponies. guy had a whole channel of them already
- >it was making money, too. a LOT of it. you'd be a fool to refuse.
- >the first was called "Plot" - all it consisted of was shots of fluffy pony mares showing their cooches
- >that was it. nothing fancy. just hop down to the adoption agency, pick up a few strays and dress them up a little
- >then video tape them from the backside, for the most part
- >easy peasy Japanesey.
- >at first you started going to great lengths to get them to show the goods.
- >shaving, duct tape, string, beatings, anal insertion, more beatings...
- >then the producer guy explained that you didn't always have to show all the goods
- >in fact, sometimes the insinuation was part of the eroticism for these things
- >you can dig that... sort of like when you would stare at underwear models in catalogs when you were a kid
- >so you took it down a notch... let them show what they wanted to show
- >although you learned a few tricks, too. sometimes bring a good-looking stallion into the room
- >sometimes that alone would get those bitches raising their tails
- >sometimes you'd let them start the mating process. inevitably the same thing would happen
- >a few... special... fellows even offered to bring their own mares down to be on the show
- >fuck it. that's five bucks less per head you'd have to pay from the adoption fees.
- >not to mention not having to take care of them.
- >you even managed to get a couple of guest stars.
- >your highest rated show so far featured "Missy Elly May" from the "Beverly Fluffbillies"
- >although you had mostly stopped using bogus methods to show their plot, you made sure Missy Elly May got fully exposed
- >shit, that was easy enough.
- >when the little prima donna bitch wouldn't show the goods, you just pulled her tail up and pointed her at the nearest camera.
- >her owner was pissed but Fluff TV ended up selling ten times as many Missy Elly May Fluffckers (tm) than they were before
- >having gotten "Plot" almost on autopilot you concentrated on the real jewel in your crown: "Special Hugs"
- >it was exactly what it sounded like. record fluffies fucking.
- >again, you were shocked how many owners willingly brought in their own pets to be on camera
- >if these people had kids they'd have them in those fucked-up pre-pubescent beauty contests
- >this show was a bit more difficult and certainly more controversial
- >the gimmick was that you had to shoot the sex scenes so they always looked consentual... on both sides
- >once in a while you'd get a really randy female that would attack males so they would be mounted
- >that ended up with a couple of bites or kicks in their balls. must have hurt like a motherfucker
- >there were always females that didn't want it. well, fortunately they're still classified as animals so a little force could be used
- >I mean... you don't hold down Monica Bellucci and yell at her to take that cock and then beat her ass with a paddle when she cries
- >that would be pretty fucking awesome, but it still doesn't happen
- >so these little cunts would get smacked, anally penetrated, whipped, screamed at, punched, tied up, tied down, gagged, whatever it took
- >thank god for dubbed audio tracks
- >
- >Season 1:Episode 23:Segment:2 "Orangeade and General"
- >"Action!"
- "wahhhhhhhhhh! dun wan speshal huggies fwom bad fwuffy! meanie fwuffy bite owangeade eaw!"
- >"George, give General a couple of whacks with the Sorry Stick for biting."
- >"Yes, sir."
- >"nuu! nuu sowwy stick! genewal sowwy!"
- >"Shut up."
- >*whack whack whack*
- >"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
- >"Get him back on top of her. Good. Action. Camera two, get in position."
- >"pwease stawp! hewp! hewp! bad fwuffy giff bad feewlies! dun wan..."
- >"She's crying again."
- >"Stick the hot pepper up her ass."
- >"Are you..."
- >"Do not second guess me, boy. You jam that pepper in there and keep your mouth shut."
- >"Yes, sir."
- >"Action."
- >"wahhhhhhhhhhh! hawt! hawt! hawt in poopie pwace!"
- >"You get that, audio?"
- >"Got it, sir."
- >"enf enf enf"
- >"pwease staaaaaaaaaaawp!"
- >"duct tape her mouth."
- >"Got it."
- >"mmph! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmph!"
- >"Audio?"
- >"yeah, good... good levels. I can work with this."
- >"All right, let shithead finish, get the money shot and throw these two idiots down the trash chute."
- >"enf enf enf... wauuuuuuuuuugh!"
- >"Nice money shot. Good work, camera one."
- >"Thanks, boss."
- >"Sir, she's still too distraught... I need a couple of close-ups of her enjoying it."
- >"Bring some spaghetti in here."
- >the mare's eyes light up at the mention of spaghetti.
- >"Cameras one and two, get closeups of her face."
- >the spaghetti is placed in front of the mare. immediately her mood changes and she looks happy
- >"Let her eat a little..."
- >the mare eats some, smiling...
- >"Cut. Get her the fuck outta here."
- >"nuuu! wan mo spagettis! nuuuuuu!"
- >the production assistant casually tosses her down a trash chute.
- >"wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
- >"What's that like a five story drop?"
- >"Six."
- >"Good. Okay, bring in the ponies for segment three."
- >Season 1:Episode 23:Segment:3 "Ghost and Laquanda"
- >"This like some sorta interracial thing? You got a white fluffy and a black fluffy there."
- >"I guess so, yeah."
- >"We might have to edit this segment out when it plays in the South."
- >"I can't believe there's still bigotry out there. Makes you sad for humanity."
- >"It sure does, George. Sure does. *sigh* ACTION! Take that fucking cock, bitch!"
- >thank god you didn't have to go into snuff films.
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