Thread 80: Stories 31-45

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>???
_____

Even going back as far as her Swiss cheese-like memory would allow, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d experienced such speed. She tore through the air like a black blur, pulled along at a breakneck pace that threatened to dislocated her spinal column as wires hissed on either side.

>MMMMMMMMRRRRRRRPH!

The unfathomable distance to the Crystal Empire seemed to transpire in the blink of an eye, a really watery and bloodshot eye at that.

>GRRRRRRNGH!

A hook shot from the 3DMG seemingly sewed to her chitinous hips and imbedded itself in the partially destroyed crystal wall of what might have been a resplendent house, now reduced to rubble. Instincts caused her body to lean into the spin when the wire whipped her like a boomerang and she came flying towards the ground.

THAM!

Her collision absolutely shattered the diamond the ground was comprised off but years of experienced ensured her a death-free landing.

As her gaze sifted through the destruction, the chaos, the utter decimation of a once proud empire, a sound like sheet metal rubbing together overtook the crackling of roaring fires that claimed dwellings and nearby buildings.

How crystal could burn like that was anyone's guess. But it didn't matter when she finally finished extracting a pair of glistening swords, the blades alit with the reflection of flames.

Her eyes, now nothing more than battle-ready slits, honed in on the overlarge figure of the former Queen.

She was now... a Titan.

>Ptoo!

Out came the potato from her maw, spat onto the ground.

>And we all know a titan's main weakness... don't we?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
“???”
‘???’
_____

>Robots over there-

SMASH

>Robots over here-

CRASH

>Fleabitten robots everywhere!

SMASH BAM CRUNCH

>That makes over twenty of y’all rustbuckets put down by ol’ Bucky McGillygudy an’ Kicks McGee! Those’re mah hooves jus’ in case ya didn’t know! Yeah, Ah named 'em an' it ain't weird! So now Ah’m askin’! Who wants to be the ne-

THOOM

>…well, shit.

Bursting clear through the wall, and sending operating tables and chairs and smaller robots flying, came a robot that seemed comprised of ten different robots. And looked ten times more menacing from its flame spouting horns to its razor sharp teeth revolving like a saw.

>Seriously…? Seriously now. Really? Oh, that’s jus’ some bullsh-

The hulking chassis betrayed its agility and Applejack was rendered shell-shocked when it dove clear across the room, those tri-pronged metal pincers snapping for her throat.

‘REEEEEEEEEEE-’

“By the hivemind, won’t you be quiet?”

A pale rod struck the metallic menace upside the head, offsetting its course and sending the behemoth crashing into the adjacent wall.

>Wh…what in the…?”

A lone changeling was approaching the baffled princess of paperwork, this one of an older, wiser status.

>You….

“Yes. I.”

And as he bent down to reclaim his tossed weapon, Applejack saw that it wasn’t a rod at all. But a slender piece of sharpened bone.

>What’re y’all doin’ here…? Ah… why?”

>For two reasons. One, I’ve recently regained a spark for battle that I feared I’d lost. It’s pleasant, feeling muscles long since shelved come back to life. The adrenaline, the blood thundering through my veins. I missed it so….

>…An’ the second reason?

The ten-robot horror was climbing back up with a series of ear-bleeding creaks and scrapes, a hauntingly angry red hue exuding from its eye sockets.

Seventy-Seven faced it, slowly moving to stand just beside Applejack.

“So we can see my hivemate returned home, poppet prime. Now… what say I take the front and you try to flank it? Surely Bucky McGillygudy and Kicks McGee still have a few tricks left?”

>…Heh. ‘Course they do.

~~~

>What’re y’all doin’ here…? Ah… why?”

"...Wait, what? What do you mean what am I doing here? I went into this place before you did... and what the fuck do you mean, why? It's a giant robot!"

>...Er...

"...You forgot I was here, didn't you?"

>...uh...

"Seriously?"

>It gets confusin' with two Sevens!

~~~

[Everything above? Propably NC.]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cardboard Twilight"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we get to check out my new ride! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!!

Throws her voice to a cardboard cutout of Twilight.
"Hey Pinkie."

>Why do you hang out in the back of Applejack's truck?

"It's because her truck is a pick up and she picks me up."
Canned laughter

>Ha, you're a riot Twilight. That's our show. I'm going to drive my car now. Vroom vroom.
Camera cuts.

>...why couldn't they be sleeping right now?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nc
>Pinkie
"Scientist"
~~~~~

>Whooooa... And what were you making?

"I call it, floaty fizzy drink!"

>...

"You see, it uses expanded hydrogen molecules to-OH NO!"

>TWILIGHT HELP!

"What has science done!?"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"Spike"
~~~~~~

The sound of the crunching of metal to her ears was nothing short of magical.

>Come now! You have to do better than that!

She lost herself in it, in the destruction and the blows. Machine, monster or anything in between, she destroyed it all... and she loved it.

She would never admit it, of course. It was very much unsoldierlike of her to do at all. This should be about accomplishing the task, finishing the job, inning and getting out.

>BOOM!

But she was loving it, every moment of it.

She was loving being a soldier again.

"Geez, Forty Two! Save some for the rest of us!"

His tone was playful, just as she had hoped. He too was enjoying himself, in this place of endless threats and battles. All of them were, all four, battling together again and fighting as a solid unit for the very first time.

It certainly didn't feel like the first time.

>If you wish to have your own, you must be quick enough to be worth it!

"Awww, come on Forty Two! I can only reload so fast!"

>Then switch to magic bullets, you pansy.

"Those just don't have the right... kick to them."

>Oh? Like THIS!?

The shattering of steel was music. Simply put, music.

"Yep, like that."

>Then I suggest you start carrying two guns!

"Two guns? Rarity will get jealous!"

>I know little of matters of the heart, only matters of THIS!

She honestly didn't know what she was enjoying more. Breaking in this things face, or speaking to Spike again, just as she always had.

Before... all of this.

"Heh... just watch my back while I reload, okay? Then you can take a break, old mare."

>You're implying anything will be left... I find that insulting.

"Race is on then! Come on, for glory!"

No, not glory, Forty Two thought to herself...

>For us.

She hadn't felt this alive in months.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

29
"Luna"
'???'
~~~~

>Are thou not worried that thine sister is concerned of thou's absence?

"Bah! Thou thinks us so inconsiderate, we left a note!"

~~~~~~

'Okay, so, Pommel? Good news. I found a note that may lead to where Princess Luna has gone. Bad news? Uh... it just says 'WE ARE HONING OUR SKILLS AS A PEDAGOGUE!'.. Yes, all capitalized, and no, it does not say anything about what that is or where she would be doing it.... yes, I know what PEDAgogue sounds like, and I too have heard the rumors, but I'm pretty sure speaking of that can get you imprisoned.'

~~~~~~

>If thou arts sure-OW!

"CONCENTRATE!"

>I am!

"Well, do it better!"

>Thine words have no-OW! WHO GAVE THOU A MEASURING STICK ANYWAY!?

"DESTINY! NOW CONCENTRATE!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Pinkie
"Twilight"
'Scientist'
~~~~~

>...

"... So, why do you have a giant pool of chocolate?"

'Well, I was using it to test-'

>SHHHHHHHHH!

'...'

>...Don't ruin this for me.

"Pinkie, there's probably a logical-"

>Twilight!

"..."

>...Come with me, and you'll see, there's no reason for all this beauty and creation!

'But there is-'

>Take a look, and you'll see, something coming right out of Pinkie's imagination.

'It's really good for testing-'

"Don't bother. She's... she's gone."

>If you want to swim in paradise, jump straight on in and do it!

'You really shouldn't-'

>Anything you want to do, do it!

'I'm pretty sure I'm getting arrested cause I did that.'

>Want to drink the world... there's nothing to it..

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Alright boys, we got the guns?"

"Yes, sir."

"We got the goods?"

"Checkerino, boss."

"Well then boys, Gods save the Queen!"

-----

"-and with the last of their generals slain, the villainous Mongrel Horde retreated from our lands, never to bother it again," Siegfried concluded, "...now can I please have a damned drink of water?"

"Not until you get to your great grandfather's duel with the Count of Transylmaneia," Gwen didn't even look up from her newspaper.

"Which one, he fought like thirty of those guys," Siegfried grimaced, "Every ninth person in that country is a Count! They don't even have a King, they just have another Count!"

"I'll tell you which one when you get there," Gwen waved dismissively.

"Ugh..." Siegfried rolled his eyes and looked at the small armored figure curled up in his lap, looking up at him expectantly...well, presumably, it's hard to tell under a helmet, "You still following this?"

"Vekir thinks so, but the doggies that attacked the lands of peaceful and beloved catbirds were not the same as those of her protector, yes?" Vekir tilted her head curiously...probably.

"Huh? I don't know, you'd have to ask him," Siegfried shrugged, "He'd know, right?"

"Vekir did not choose the dog of watches for to be brainy, I chose for the brawn, yes? Yes," Vekir nodded, that much was for once clear.

"Well suffice it to say the Mongrel Horde aren't anyone's problem anymore, King Alexander saw to that," Siegfried sighed, "Can someone have mercy on a poor soul and take over for me so I can get a drink?"

"What did I just tell you?" Gwen leered at her son.

"Ahem, your grace, I wouldn't mind butting in," Robert cut in, a placid smile on his beak, "Perhaps a bit of geographical history would sate the little...thing's thirst for knowledge. We are quite close to the Mountains of Meeting after all."

"Whyfor would mountains meet, trader-catbird?" Vekir bounded off of Siegfried's lap, enabling the Gryphon Prince to cheekily vault over his seat and make a beeline for the dining car and presumably drinks quite a bit less wholesome than water.

"Oh it's quite a lovely tale," Robert began, stroking under his beak, "You see in the early days of the railroads, the Gryphon King and Princess Celestia agreed to collaborate on a joint construction of a rail tunnel that would cut travel time between our nations by a substantial margin, thus allowing for more trade, tourism, and what have you. Teams of ponies and gryphons worked tirelessly to tunnel through the central mountain, until at last they met in the middle."

"And when they met, oh strokiest of strokers?" Vekir asked.

"Hm? Oh they tersely greeted each other, finished the railroad, begrudgingly shook hands and went their separate ways...gryphons and ponies have a history of not mixing well," Robert shrugged, "Up until recently anyway, why just look at me and Spreadsheet here. Peas in a pod we are, right Sheety?"

"Oaf," The unicorn said simply, never looking up from her clipboard.

"Terrific," Robert nodded to Vekir, "See?"

Vekir nodded vigorously back.

CLUNK!

"...did anyone else hear a-" Robert began.

CLUNK! CLUNK! CLUNK!

From the roof of the train came the heavy sounds of something landing.

"Oh this better not be another Hawk-damned dragon," Gwen muttered mutinously.

"My liege, remain seated," Sir Aerus stood, looking back towards the guards, "Two of you see to the Prince, the rest stay with me to defend the Queen and our guests."

Duitfully the gryphons obeyed, two filing out to the dining car as quick as they could run, the others drawing weapons along with Sir Aerus.

"Vekir, quickly over here," Gwen urgently gestured Vekir to her side, in one motion pushing the small creature beneath one of the seats, "Stay down there until I tell you it's safe."

"Vekir promises only to bite ankles if necessary," The Morlock made herself as small as possible.

"Good girl, someone give me a weapon," Gwen strode to join the defenders, eying a particular guard wielding an ax. The guard offered her his dagger.

Gwen yanked the ax out of his talons and gave it a few experimental swings.

"Perfect."

-----

"Okay, I'm thinking of a number betweeeeeen...one and twenty-" Watchdog began.

"Probability measures indicate you are thinking of the number six. Again," The gryphon bot interrupted.

"Damn you're good, okay chrome feathers, if a train leaves Appleloosa going fifty miles an hour and another train leaves Canterlot going in the same direction-"

"The crash site."

"How'd you know that?" Watchdog grimaced.

"I was programmed with a child-watching subroutine, I have nine hundred paternal jokes on file."

"...you are a tome of horrible eldritch knowledge," Watchdog shivered, "Okay, how about-"

CLUNK!

"-...you hear that?" The diamond dog raised an eyebrow.

"Unauthorized landing on the roof of the train," The bot answered, "Commencing locational profiling to narrow down probable causes."

BANG!

"Gonna go with bandits there, chief," Watchdog patted the robot on the head, turning his attention to luggage car's door, giving a stretch, "Hope ya got me all metaled up enough for this, Twience lady."

He charged.

----

BANG!

"Alrighty folks, we ain't here for nobody but the Gryphon Queen and her baby boy," The thin pegasus in the skull-patterned bandanna shouted out as he stood next to the pistol-toting gryphon, "All ya need to do is keep yer heads down and don't try to do nothin' fancy."

The staff and passengers in the dining car cowered before the dastardly duo, trying to make themselves appear as small and poor as possible to not attract attention.

Siegfried, who had up until recently been arguing with the bartender on which place in the world the best bourbon came from, slid down as far as he could, crouching between stools as he regarded the two thugs. There were probably a great many more of the brigands swarming the other cars at that very moment. His mother and their guards were almost certainly preparing a defense as well. All he'd need do is sneak his way to the private car and they'd be able to fight the scoundrel's off.

"Check faces, Bitey, I got ya covered," The gryphon growled as the pegasus began to step forward, scanning over the frightened expressions of the traingoers.

Siegfried tensed, he had to choose the absolute perfect moment to make a break for it, to set up a defensible position, to dispose of these living piles of refuse-

"Stop in the name of King Idris!"

"You stupid fuckin' cunt!"

-or get blueballed by a jumped up watchman.

BANG!

The shot caused a scream as sparked off the side of the door the guard had come through (and was quickly scrambling back on the other side of). The passengers panicked, diving for cover and buffeting the would-be cutthroat that had been looking for the prince every which way possible.

"Never a dull moment," Siegfried muttered.

----

WHAM!

The screeching of metal accompanied the impact of Watchdog's shoulder as he rammed himself into one of the passneger cars he'd been escorted through earlier. Rotating the appendage he grinned at the shocked faces of the passengers and staff.

"Technology, gotta love it," He said with a shrug, turning his gaze over his shoulder at the droid still in the baggage car, "You coming, pal?"

"Negative, this unit must obey its parameters," The droid replied, never budging from its spot, "Do not engage in conflict until signalled by owner."

"Oh, alright, cool," Watchdog grimaced, his brovado wavering for just a moment before coming back twice as hard, "I'll just have to go full strength on these guys to pick up the slack, yeah! No sweat, my robo bro, I got this in the bag!"

BANG!

"Alright folks, this here's got nothing to do with you, we just-what the FUCK are you supposed to be?" The bandit, a squat earth pony, blinked at Watchdog as the trio of gryphons behind him gawked.

"Me? Oh no one in particular," Watchdog grinned, "Just your worst-"

"KILL IT!" The earth pony shouted in a panic.

"Aw come on, you're supposed to let me say the cool-!"

Watchdog was interrupted by the hail of bullets being directed at his metal body.

"Okay nevermind!" With a dash towards the thugs and a flurry of blows that would best be described as 'abysmally sloppy', the quartet of criminals lay groaning on the floor.

"Ha, finesse, who needs finesse when you're a giant robot gorilla dog?" Watchdog grinned, "On to the next car! Vekky here I come!"

----

"H'okay," The bandit leader, a gaunt, sour-faced gryphon said as he spat on the floor of the private car, "This is a lot more armed gryphons than I was expecting."

Gwen, Sir Aerus, and the eight guards at their back regarded the five armed outlaws in front of them with contempt.

"You chose the wrong train to rob, vermin," Gwen said, brandishing her ax.

"No...no, this is the right train," The bandit leader frowned, "Yer here, but this job is a lot less easier'n I wanted t'believe. Especially since, y'know, we're s'posed to take ya and yer boy alive."

"A feat far beyond your skillset, I assure you, knave," Sir Aerus growled, clutching the mace he held, "Begone from this place and their highnesses may see fit not to hunt you mongrels down to the black pit you came from."

"Nice club, boy," The gryphon nodded to the diamond dog at his side, who hefted a shotgun, "Ours' are bigger, now I'm startin' to think our employer didn't know what he was gettin' us into, and we only got a little bit 'fore we start goin' through that mountain tunnel, so I may just wanna cut my losses, shoot down everyone on this train, grab what valuables I can, and call it a net gain."

"Now there's no need for that," Robert, an anxious smile on his face, said as he stood up, trembling a bit, "S-surely we don't have to go down that route."

"Boy, if you knew what was good fer ya, you'd sit right back down," The bandit growled.

"But isn't there any way I could convince you that perhaps sticking to your original course would be better?" Robert asked, nervously licking his beak.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU MISERABLE LITTLE TRAITOR!?" Aerus boomed, taking a step towards the salesman.

"Well I mean I don't WANT him to do the kidnap the Queen and Prince thing, but I'm working my way up," Robert explained hurriedly, "Look, just trust me here, I have a way with-HRK!"

Robert wheezed as the bandit leader's talon slammed into his chest, sending him curling into a ball on the floor.

"...words..."

----

"Booyah!"

Watchdog laughed as his fist sent a gryphon spiraling into a wall.

"Shabam!"

An uppercut slammed a unicorn straight into the ceiling. Watchdog grinned and regarded the door before him, cracking metallic knuckles.

"Alright, just gotta get through this one, beat up any other bad guys in my way, and think up a pretty cool one liner for how awesome I am as I save the day."

With a look of determination, the diamond dog stepped forward.

"Leeeet's g-"

"SIGNAL DETECTED, ENGAGING COMBAT MODE!"

"Do what now?" Watchdog barely had time to look back as a gryphon-shaped blur rocketed through the cars he'd cleared, "Oh cra-"

It crashed into him.

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

----

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Siegfried pressed himself against the bar as bullets flew overhead, gritting his beak as he waited for a pause in the gunfire. The shots of the first thug had drawn more from the cars behind, all their fire focused on the two guards that had tried to come to his aid.

"Okay, enough!" The voice of the pegasus from earlier, "Now all of ya just stay where ya are and-wow, we are some shit shots, is there anyone here that's dead?"

A chorus of 'No's erupted from the car.

"When we get back to the hideout? We are workin' on ya'll's aim! But all of ya just stay where ya are iff'n ya know what's good for ya, we just wanna find us the Prince and his mama."

"He's behind my bar!" The bartender yelled, "He's been running up a tab all day!"

"Traitor!" One of the guards yelled from his cover.

"Screw you, I'm a sheep!" The bartender hissed back, "I don't owe you guys nuthin'!"

"Keep yer guns trained, boys, if one of these prissy little boys at arms try an' make a move, kill 'em...and aim down the sights for fuck's sake!" The pegasus walked forward, a grin on his face.

Siegfried tensed, knowing his time was short, it was fight or flight, and he would-

"Hey anyone else hear somethin'?"

"-aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"WHAT THE HE-HRK!"

The bandits in formation were bowled over by a very large amalgamation of metal, that proceeded to split in half, sending the larger section of this strange creature barreling forward into the next car whilst the other part stood in the center of cart, standing tall and revealing itself to be a robotic gryphon standing tall amidst the slowly rising (and groaning) bandits.

A canine head groggily poked itself into the car.

"Okay, buddy, yeah! You take care of these guys, I'll go save the...the royal people...yeah! Woo...ohgodI'mgonnabarf..." The head of the Watchdog drew back with a loud and extremely unhygenic sound accompanied by the groans of the two guards.

"Allied cyborg, please cease irrelevant biological functions and secure the Very Important Persons, this unit will engage the outlaw forces," The robot calmly, almost chipperly replied, snapping into a combat stance, "Outlaws, please lay down your weapons."

The a large diamond dog growled at the machine, "Or what?"

"This unit is disabled from administering lethal force," The automaton replied.

"...how's that supposed to make us not wanna-"

"Deploying nonlethal countermeasures," With a flare of its wings, the metal gryphon reared up on its hindlegs, its palms outstretched towards the diamond dog before jettisoning a taser dart towards the large canine.

The screams of the bandit were music to Siegfried's ears.

----

THWUMP!

The body of Robert was tossed at Gwen's talons, the Fawntaine salesman's body covered in bruises, his beak at an odd angle.

"Ok...the bargaining process...is at a stalemate..." The gryphon groaned.

"I thought you were starting to make headway," Gwen raised an eyebrow at him before resuming her glare at the bandit leader.

"Really?"

"No," The Queen said flatly.

"Not cool...your grace," Robert muttered.

"I swear to every single weird animal god we worship," The leader growled, "If he comes at me one more time, talking his sissified pony-fucking diplomacy speech, I'm blowing his brains out."

"I'm surprised you haven't already," Sir Aerus commented.

"You all are in for a world of hurt, ya hear me?" The leader pumped his shotgun, "My employer can suck himself raw, I ain't got time for this."

"Foolish," Spreadsheet said, the first words the unicorn had said in seemingly an eternity.

"Excuse me? If I ain't takin' shit from that gryphon, I ain't taking shit from you either, missy, you pipe dow...wait a minute," The bandit blinked, taking a good look at the pony.

More specifically, her glowing horn.

"Heh...yeah...my bruises are about to be really worth it," Robert grinned.

"What. Did. You. DO!?" The Bandit's eyes went wide.

"Distracted you...doofus," Slowly the salesman got up, his smirk growing, "She just signalled a piece of hardware that's going to splatter you all over these walls."

WHAM!

The door of the car slammed open.

"And here it is n-...uhhh..." Robert blinked as Watchdog came through the door, "What the heck?"

"Hey...just, just gimme a minute," Watchdog wiped his mouth, shaking his head, "Whoa, that sucked."

"Dog of Watches!" Vekir bounded up onto her seat, "You are arriving just in the nick of time!"

"Where's my gryphon bot!?" Robert's eye twitched.

"Huh? Oh he's in the next car, taking care of more bandits, don't worry, I got this," Watchdog grinned, taking an unsteady step forward, "Alright boys, here's what's gonna happen, I'm gonna give you all to the count of five to lay don't your arms, I really don't have time to-"

"Hey!" The bandit cut him off, "My turn to say some cool shit now! Me'n my boys are gonna give you to the count of four!"

"Fiend, we shall give YOU to the count of three!" Sir Aerus hefted his mace menacingly.

"We're gonna give ya'll to the count of TWO!" A bandit at the leader's side shouted.

"We will be giving you to the count of ONE!" Vekir countered, bouncing in her chair angrily.

"WELL HOW ABOUT THIS!? ZERO, MOTHERFUCKERS! GETTEM BOYS!"

And then everything was a blur of rushed shots and charging bodies. Watchdog bounded forward, shots glancing off his metallic frame as he plowed into the bandits. Gwen dove into the melee, ax swinging with a finesse of a trained warrior. Vekir positioned herself to trip someone over!

It was somewhere in the midst of Watchdog using one of the outlaws as a makeshift club, that a voice shouted out over the din.

"STOP! STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR THE PIPSQUEAK DIES!" The roar of the bandit leader was enough to make the action stop.

There indeed he stood, pistol held to Vekir's helmet, a murderous desperation in his eyes.

There indeed he stood, pistol held to Vekir's helmet, a murderous desperation in his eyes.

"Now ya'll are gonna put down yer weapons and back up or so help me, I will END her, ya hear? I ain't gonna-"

"Mr. Bandit?" Vekir turned her head towards him.

"Shaddup, I'm talking. Now I want you all to-"

"Mr. Bandit?"

"Shut up!"

"But Mr. Bandit, Vekir must share important information with you!"

"Oh for fuck's sake, what're you talkin' abou-" The bandit looked down at the little Morlock.

"Eject!"

"Wha-AAAAH!" The gryphon dropped the Morlock, talons going to his face as a blast of dust accumulated for some time went straight into his eyes, blinding him!

"Someone, quick! Do a thing!" Vekir shouted squeakily, spurring Watchdog into action.

Every piston in his robotic body pumping, the cyborg canine sprung forward, arm cocked back, a massive punch sailing through the air to smash into the bandit's beak and send him sprawling...

...directly out the window of the train.

Silence hung over the car.

"...heh, guys, get ready for this one," Watchdog grinned, "NO TICKET! HA! JUST THOUGHT THAT ONE UP!"

"...you...FUCKING IDIOT!" Gwen shouted.
"What!?" Watchdog blinked, "I got rid of the bad guy! I'm a hero."

"Show of hands...hooves...whatever," Robert deadpanned, "How many in here know who you were working for."

No such appendages went up.

"Uh...the boss was the only one that talked to the employer," One of the bandits muttered.

"Oh...uhh..." Watchdog gulped, "Well I mean, c'mon, you're gryphons, right? You can send someone back to go find him and take him to the big gryphon city righ-"

Darkness fell over the car.

"OOOH! We're in the Meaty Mountains now, yes?" Vekir asked.

"Yyyyep," Gwen shook her head as the train's lights came on.

And all throughout the tunnel, a single noise drowned out the train.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Red
"Brahmos"
'???'

>BEHOLD.

"Oh, you found a new file to assimilate, that's fun. I thought we were a two-person game here, though, I don't think we'd need a...what the FUCK are you?"

'Sͭ̈̋̐̚͘ͅp̶͖̦̬͎͈̝͚͆̂̊̏͂ͤ͆r͛҉̱̲̩e̍̄҉̺̱̼̠̦̪à̦̋̒̓̎d̤̘̙̟͖̜ͨͦ͗̒͑'

"Gah!"

>EXCELLENT.

"Back off!"

'S̈́̄̊̃p̻̞̞̭͜r͙̹̫͈ͥe̷͓̺ͨͫ̅̌e̞͙̹͑ͨ͝e̎̚e̙̙̟̚a̟̣̠͙̞͚͎̿̚͘ḏ̺͆ͨ͊̋̀̐'

"Red help! It's HUGGING ME!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>???
"???"
~~~~

>NOOOOOOOO!

"OH DEAR LORD! MAH STARS! IT'S OVER! IT'S ALL OVEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!"

>YER' OUTTA MARCHMALLEYS!? NONE!? NONE IN ALL O CANTERLOT!? NONNNNE!?

"AND THERE AIN'T NO APPLES NEITHER!?"

>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Variolus
"Sunset"
~~~

>...She's still alive...

The tingle in her mind had told her of the others presence long before she had even come close to detecting her. Instincts, rather than pure skill, had served her on this day.

"Did you really think just hitting her would bring her down?"

A feral curl came upon her lips at the mocking voice, twisting them into an unnatural snarl as she felt the other moving beneath sight, no doubt setting something up to come at her again.

>Her mother was not one for physical confrontations, I was under the impression she was likewise less than the most durable.

"Hate to break it to you, she gets into fights all the time apparently, it's a huge problem!"

>How unlike a changeling...

"Oh yeah, because you right now? Stealthy as fuck!"

>...Point.

She just kept moving, never staying put for longer than a second, never holding still.

>Her last plan nearly defeated me. I will have to be more careful in regards to the last Queen.

"Yeah, dunno if you've noticed, but you have a HUGE problem underestimating Queens!"

>...perhaps you are right...

The tingle began to return to her horn. She could let loose an attack right now, if she wished. Wipe them all clean from this earth. So long as she kept a mark on where her errant child was, she could preserve the child of Chitania, she merely needed to keep her alive for this plan to work...

"NO!"

The mind tugging on her own fought with everything she had, wrenching the power away from her horn.

"NO CASUALTIES! That's all I asked of you! That's it! That's all I can have at this point!"

So desperate, so frightened, nothing like the mare who had bantered with her earlier this very day.

And also, nowhere near as weak. She was getting more powerful with mental controls, be it from the proximity to unique changeling magic or just desperation made real, she was gaining power.

So, for that reason, she rescinded, and true to form Sunset's grip lessened immensely.

But she wasn't done yet.

>You ask for more yet after I have already given you so much. To think you so ungrateful after all the powers I have imparted onto you. To think, none of this would even be occuring without your failures, yet I am supposed to cowtow to you?

She felt the first twinges, and made her final strike.

>Why would I obey someone who would let themselves be erased so that my opponent could get to me. I am fortunate that despite what I gazed upon in your mind... you are quite wrong. All of this fear, to you at least, was pointless.

And just like that, that tenuous grip fell away, replaced instead with heartbreak.

>I will do as I please so that I may finally accomplish my goal, Sunset, it is only out of thanks for your invaluable efforts that I consider it. But I will not spare them if they are all that stands between me and my goal. I need to confront Chitania at last, I need this to end, now. Today, and never again. I will end them.

Despite her words, no more did the mare fight back. Good.

>When the last Queen decides to make her move, I will give her one chance to spare her own life. After that...

She had followed every step, every movement, and she had figured it out.

>...she will learn that I too, should not be underestimated.

When the last Queen made her move...

She would strike.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pennydrop
"Assistant"
~~~~

>So, let me guess. Curbstomp?

"Curbstomp."

>...

"Not that I know what you're talking about."

>I'm clearly talking about last nights hoofball match.

"Oh, yeah, total blowout. I have no idea why you thought that would do anything, we have heavy hitters, but the other team is nothing but heavy hitters. Literally. It's just... everybody is super fucking strong."

>Noticed that... shit.

"Shit?"

>Shit... well, at least nobody knows I helped the other team get some training equipment, did they?

"Well hidden, ma'am."

>That said, I bet on the other team, how much...

"..."

>...Damn it.

"You can afford it."

>Can I really?

"She punched out Celestia in front of newspapers who published it in seconds. We cannot keep her on the shelves."

>...

"So, can I point out how ironic it is you hate her, yet everytime you mess up it's her toys, comics and movies that save you?"

>...

"...Above my pay grade, gotcha."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but it's that time again! Join the Pink Pony Club as we discuss things on our show...THE PERSPECTIVE!!!
Crowd cheers.

"I'm the pretty one. <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one! So what's the news today?

'I'm hanging with my friends, plus there's explosions and action!'

>Same here! Plus candy!

"My home is getting wrecked!"

'Oooh, you drew the short straw.'

>You know this was probably going to happen eventually. Then again, I guess I should have asked my sister Maud to stop.

"...what? No, there's a giant changeling attacking."

>Oh...uh forget what I said then.

'Don't worry we'll come as soon we're done pounding nerds.'

"I don't think there's going to be a place left!"

>Judging from what we've been doing, it'll probably result in the same thing if we arrive.

"..."

>I mean that's our show bye!

Pinkie and DT wave enthusiastically.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>Lemme get this straight, you'll pay me bits to smash up the empire?

"Yes"

>What's in this for you?

"...A meal...make sure you pay extra attention to this area over there"

>I'm getting paid to smash things, this is the greatest day of my death yet.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Variolus
"???"
~~~~~

After the final battle...

>Mistress, I did as you asked. The castle is in shambles.

>Excellent. They would have noticed if I took a bite out of their home base, but with all the wreckage you did they will never be able to find all the pieces. Of course, they would only save the most delicious crystals for the castle."

>Did I do well, Mistress?

"You did. Completely fooling both Sunset and the rest of the world into thinking this was all for your past with Chitania and her child. None suspect the truth, and now... I have enough of the castle to last me a lifetime. You have done well."

>N-now can I return to my stone body?

"...Yes. You may."

>Oh, thank you mistress!

"Of course, and thank you for your service... Boulder."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________