Fizzles_Anon

Rebuilding an Empire (AiE; Chrysalis, StarlightGlimmer)

Oct 7th, 2016
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  1. "Everyone's upset about the ending but at least Chrysalis told them to fuck off. Now she can go live with Anon and whine and mooch of him while she tries to think of evil plots."
  2.  
  3. >"'There is no revenge you can ever conceive of that will come close to what i will exact upon you one day!!'...yea, that's what I told her!"
  4. "Uh-huh.."
  5. >"You should have seen her face, Anon! She was petrified!"
  6. >Chrysalis shoved another spoonful of ice cream right from the carton and jammed it into her mouth.
  7. >Cold, wet particles hit your cheek when she resumed her ranting.
  8. >"I have plans, Anon! Someday I will be Queen once again!"
  9. "Then you'll finally help with the rent?"
  10. >"I will conquer this district and you will pay your rent directly to me!"
  11. >She snorted and licked her lips clean.
  12. >You wiped your cheek.
  13. >It's been three weeks now.
  14. >Three long weeks...
  15. >It happened quite unexpectedly.
  16. >You were coming home from an errand, it was grocery day.
  17. >When you let yourself in, there she was.
  18. >A black pony with a twisted horn, bug wings, and an angry voice.
  19. >She threw a VHS tape at you and screamed to close the door.
  20. >Your house was the perfect distance to begin the groundwork for 'Operation Starbutt Glimham' or whatever she called it at the time.
  21. >It's gone through many revisions since.
  22. >As you tried to object, she stood on your couch, screamed 'Silence!' and zapped you with her horn.
  23. >Or, that is to say, she tried to.
  24. >Her magic sputtered out like an old man trying to take a leak at three in the morning.
  25. >She cursed under her breath, mumbled something about her thorax, then threaten to stab you with her horn.
  26. >Your hands were full of bags and her horn did look awful sharp and dangerous, so you told her she could stay.
  27. >She scoffed at you, chuckling that you thought you had a choice, then plopped back on the couch.
  28. >After an uncomfortable silence, you excused yourself to put groceries away.
  29. >Not five minutes after you started she demanded you return with a plate with only your finest hors d'oeuvres.
  30. >Grimacing, you found a paper plate, dumped crackers and cheese on it, and returned.
  31. >If she wasn't angry at your bounty of bachelor food, the way you dumped it on the coffee table certainly did it.
  32. >"How dare you give me peasant food in such a manner!"
  33. >She snarled and kicked the plate over.
  34. >You shrugged and sat in your chair, opened a book, and tried to drown out her complaining as she started picking the crackers off the floor and eating them.
  35. >'Alright', you thought, 'you can kick her out tomorrow. Let her eat and stop being crazy and maybe she'll leave before that...'
  36. >That was 3 weeks ago.
  37. >Chrysalis refused to leave when you confronted her the next day.
  38. >To make matters worse, she annexed your basement and locked you out.
  39. >That was when she wasn't sleeping on the couch or yelling for more icecream.
  40. >Speaking of which, an empty pint of chocolate ice cream hit the floor.
  41. >Her eyes glanced from you, to the discarded container, then back.
  42. >You didn't budge.
  43. >"When I was Queen, my subjects would FIGHT for the honor of disposing my trash!"
  44. >You got up, walked right by her and her empty ice cream, and went to the bathroom.
  45. >This was always gold.
  46. >"FOOL! You will rue the day you failed to--"
  47. >Door closed and locked.
  48. >You smirked as her tirade carried from one side of the house to the other, then back, a good sign she picked the container up and threw it away.
  49. >You gave her a few minutes after the ranting stopped, enough time for her to get back to the couch, get comfortable, and stop being mad she has to pick up after herself.
  50. >It was sort of understandable, even if you had your doubts about her version of how she became homeless, it was still a heck of a step down to end up on your couch of all places.
  51. >Every so often she'd peer through the blinds with binoculars, trying to find the pony she blames for her fall from grace.
  52. >As you washed up and left the bathroom, you found her doing just that.
  53. >It was her little ritual after she threw a hissy fit.
  54. >"I know what the problem is, Anon."
  55. >'This will be good', you thought, returning to your seat.
  56. >"Your house isn't tall enough to hunt my prey, you need a taller house."
  57. "When you get a job and help pay for it, I will."
  58. >"A Queen doesn't work!"
  59. "Then a Queen stalks from the ground floor."
  60. >She shot you a glare and frowned.
  61. >You snickered.
  62. >"I will remember every wise crack, Anon, and you will live to regret them all."
  63. "But you were my best friend when I brought you ice cream."
  64. >"Hmph! Anon, don't mistake a temporary joy for..."
  65. >She trailed off, and pressed the binoculars to the glass of the window.
  66. >"THERE SHE IS!!"
  67. >Her tail thrashed like a cat about to pounce and she waved you over with her hoof.
  68. >Curiosity got the better of you, so you eventually got up and joined her at the window.
  69. >"Look! All smug in her victory! Her destruction will be glorious!!"
  70. >You took the binoculars from her before she pushed them through the glass.
  71. "Where?"
  72. >"By the lizard, near that...eyesore!"
  73. >You looked and spotted a pink unicorn and Spike, talking to each other and headed home.
  74. >"What is she doing, where is she going?!"
  75. "She's...talking to Spike..in front of Princess Twilight Sparkle's Crystal Castle™."
  76. >"Perfect, we must strike while we still have an opening! Come minion!"
  77. "We?"
  78. >"Yes, Anon. While my army may have deserted, my castle destroyed, and my magic...diminished, I still have a perfect plan to enact vengeance on that troublesome mare."
  79. >She stormed off to the basement, while you continued to watch.
  80. >Hey, like her or hate her, Glimmer had a nice little ass and it bounced just the right way when she giggled.
  81. >Wonder if she's single?
  82. >Maybe you could convince Chrysalis that you were doing undercover recon or something.
  83. >"Anonymous! Get moving!"
  84. >You turned back to the bug queen, and immediately burst out laughing.
  85. >Chrysalis, queen of the changelings, was wrapped up in a cloak with a tophat covering her horn.
  86. >"My magic is still too weak for shapeshifting and you will stop laughing right this second!!"
  87. >She bellowed and shoved a bucket into your hands.
  88. >You looked down and your laughter turned to a sigh of disbelief.
  89. "You've got to be kidding..."
  90. >"Charge!"
  91. >The front door flew open and Chrysalis bolted out of it.
  92. >She wasn't kidding.
  93. >"Leave the bucket behind the nearest building, out of sight of her"
  94. >"Then, you engage the dragon and Starlight in conversation as I attack!"
  95. >That was your assignment.
  96. >You were half done, leaving the bucket near a haypile, few meters away from Spike and Starlight.
  97. >You still couldn't believe this was Chrysalis' master plan.
  98. >Three weeks of plotting and scheming and evil villain monologing all boiled down to--
  99. >"Hey Anon!"
  100. >Spike waved, and Starlight looked at you quizzically.
  101. >"Oh, sorry, Starlight, that's Anon! He's one of the guys I play poker with on Wednesday!"
  102. >You smiled and waved, closing the distance between the three of you.
  103. "Hey Spike."
  104. >You fistbumped him.
  105. >She smiled politely.
  106. >"We haven't met, have we?" She asked.
  107. "Fraid not, you live with Twilight?"
  108. >"Yea, I moved in a few months ago."
  109. >As you made small talk, you could almost feel Chrysalis stalking in the background with her stupidly conspicuous cloak accented by the ridiculous top hat.
  110. >Feel? Who were you kidding, you heard her knock something over, swear, and crunch her hooves on something else.
  111. >If only there was a rake to whack her in the face, the whole comedy routine would be complete.
  112. >"...and that's my story in a nutshell! How about you...Anon? Haven't seen anything like you before, but if you're Spike's friend maybe we can be too!"
  113. >It felt bad to smile and make small talk when you knew full well what was about to happen.
  114. >Chrysalis, thankfully, wasted no time.
  115. >"SUCK ON THIS!"
  116. >She screamed from behind a wheelbarrow and hurled her object of complete annihilation.
  117. >Starlight, wide eyed and stunned, didn't have a chance to react.
  118. >But luck was on her side, as the waterballoon bounced off her head unbroken.
  119. >It tumbled down and smacked square on top of Spike's scales and exploded, covering the little guy with water.
  120. >"What the heck was that!?"
  121. >You sighed as Chrysalis bolted, throwing the bucket of unspent water balloons away.
  122. >Her cloak caught on the wheelbarrow and she was left running naked save for the tophat back to your house.
  123. "That was...I don't even know..."
  124. >Spike pulled the rubber off his face, completely soaked.
  125. >"It looked like...it couldn't be Chrysalis, could it?"
  126. "No, just some nut in a tophat."
  127. >Starlight frowned, then chuckled when she saw Spike's predicament.
  128. >Jeez, those thighs, don't stare, Anon.
  129. >"I... think I need to take Spike inside to get dried off. Nice meeting you, Anon! Lets talk again sometime!"
  130. >She gave you another smile before her magic lifted Spike up and carried him back to the castle.
  131. >"Wednesday?" Spike yelled.
  132. "You know it buddy!"
  133. >You watched them leave, giving Starlight's hips and bum a nice long glance before starting your trek back to the house.
  134. >Stepping around the discarded bucket, you opted to retrieve the cloak.
  135. >Turns out it was a bedsheet.
  136. >Shaking your head you made it back home.
  137. >Chrysalis was in the living room, giggling, holding a hoof to her mouth with her eyes closed.
  138. >Still wearing that top-hat.
  139. >"Today's victory was a small one, but it struck fear in her heart! She knows terror lurks in the darkness!"
  140. "She thought it was funny."
  141. >"Some ponies laugh when they are frightened, Anon."
  142. >You kept trying to reach for the top hat to evict it from her head, but she kept pacing around.
  143. >"Mark my words, Anon, I shall continue to harass her with larger balloons with colder contents, until one day I shall stop!"
  144. "Stop?"
  145. >"Yes! Let her live in fear of the next strike! Paranoia will be her only true friend! She will see balloons in the shadows, in the dark alleys, even behind those she once thought as friends! Then, when she has nobody left, we'll burn her house down!"
  146. >You raised an eyebrow at the last part.
  147. >"Its ironic, Anon!"
  148. >There goes the other eyebrow.
  149. >"Because she'll wish she had a waterballoon to put the fire out! And then I won't give her one."
  150. "....gotcha..."
  151. >Chrysalis finally stayed still long enough for you to take the hat off.
  152. >She put a hoof on your shoulder.
  153. >Ooookay?
  154. >"We can do it together, Anon! We can ruin her life!"
  155. >Yea, did not sign up for this.
  156. "I have an idea?"
  157. >She rolled her eyes.
  158. >"Go on."
  159. "Maybe I could, ya know, try and be her friend..."
  160. >With benefits.
  161. "..and that way I'll be able to tell you where she is..."
  162. >In bed. Getting that ass tapped.
  163. >"...and I'll know when to pelt her with waterballoons!"
  164. >Something like that.
  165. >"It's a perfect plan! Very changeling of you!"
  166. >Sure.
  167. "I'll try to run into her tomorrow. She looks like she might be too....stunned to make a new friend today."
  168. >Chrysalis nodded and you swear she skipped off to the basement.
  169. >A small part of you was actually pleased to see her happy.
  170. >Even if it's because she's dreaming about arson.
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