Cto

maybe i never get the attention, by convention
seeking adulation and approval for my intentions, since them
be wot i contend with, regularly a schism
no reason to push forward, too much apprehension
ill fall back, all paths lead to the division
of duty and recreation, expression and decisions,
i don't know what rhyme or reason defines the screams in
my mind, the season keeps changing, trying to be easin
up, believin is easier than conceivin,
perceivin new legions of metaphor and treason
please  can't you see the friction I contend with?
the punishment i inflict on my mind is thus, combust
and distrust all who oppose
no allies to be found in such repose
comin atchu from the fourth dimension,
did I mention all the intense cognition
is in a collision with calculated precision
a condition of the motion of existence,  a vision
senses make you perceive, apply
apprehensive, may you rely
on everything, nothing sounds so right

Rhythmic elements
Hella, hella tense, this
insistence on senescence is
too intense to exist, do the twist
collab wit the wind and sun and the soul,
time upon time, let my mind become whole
smokin bowls, consult the Oracle,
real life ain't that horrible, incorrigible
Lost in the torrent of the soul
split the world into 23 different dimensions
and rearrange the order to begin the ascension
corroded all the defenses and removed the competition
idealized dreams they'll never see thru the omnipotence
living life like a dream, too afraid to convince myself,
hell I'm sitting rhymes, and sniffin lines,
quitting life and gettin high,
try to forget but I could never rely
on myself to ever get ahead and get by,
let me remember every reason I forgot,
convinced to return from the world I lost,
cast straight away to exile and improve
continue to level up, this the way the soul move,
can't afford to change and can't afford to try,
i can't afford food and I can't even find time
to rewind time when my time is behind nine inch nails
pierced into the flesh, acupuncture in the details,
derailed me off the metaphor wagon,
I guess I should just go back to toe-taggin
straight vagabond rapping
every syllable collabing
Reality is a fake, what a mistake to make,
your perceptions just wanna try and set you straight,
The prognosis ain't grim,
But the light within is dim
and in need of replacement, what then
might provide complacent light enough then?
Uh, I guess I fumbled the rhythm,
Gone and straight stumbled to get em
gone with the wind, you can check my prescription,
stimulant vibes, addicted to superstition
Don't make your decision
Corrode your soul and your admission fee,
Don't be afraid, be ready when it comes to be,
Death is inevitable, don't run away from it,
Nothing to regret anymore, life ends running

riposte, or I guess it's my repost,
this ghost hit the coast,
snorting blow and spoutin smoke,
the machine ain't quite right like
I might never find the right
word to align the light with,
but deny the fight and it's,
well, another day another dollar,
another hey another holler,
but my throat is sore and bloody,
maybe im just a little scrubby,
bummy, just a crash test dummy,
test me for da truth but you know,
best be towards da proof of few shows,
bitch ill rhyme every last gadam syllable
if im feeling opposite of killable,
unrefillable cos you only get one chance,
guess i should have made some better plans,
last dance, damn, hit the deck and spread the stands.
lost in a rhythmic trance,
im only here temporarily.... check the stance.

Don't go wishing on stars, you might eat pavement
wondering what all the words they saved meant,
Made a decision and split quick towards the movement
Don't misconstrue my meaning as some sort of negation,
I'm just bringing in legislation to end the hated in this nation
Complaining that no one is equal, just end the denigration
And don't fall victim to the temptations of persuasion
Corrosion is the way of the counter culture, fuck
no one can last alone for ten minutes, just trust
me that we be better off just Makin a bust
gust of wind, take me to another land,
Somewhere I can stop giving a good god damn, fam
Rather eat than starve, even if the plan
Falls apart and the backscatter leaves me damned,
don't lose hope that life will be ever grand
when you got something to fight for, well, my man
You'll understand just what I mean
When the throne is in your hands.



miles and miles away from home,
this king is dethroned, spittin koans
and working to make the spirit moan
in utter bliss, music is the biome
let it ring and let it roam,
singing the praises of being stoned
blown to the wind, Flippin through through dusty tomes,
disregard the fake clones, they bones
is weak, no fundaments of which to speak,
i see enlightenment maybe just a peek,
satori is the mindset, emulate and seek
a new reason to believe and breathe
fools forget to face reality, it seems
bereaving individuality and the stream
of consciousness defining their beliefs,
denial of thought is the crime of the day,
deceive themselves, this ain't no play,
just a gambit to discern and display
ontological meaning and the way
towards true understanding, so i pray.

terra enigma, terror
engine number twenty two and
one more for the truth
don't they know the truth
so let me ruthlessly attempt
to bring sin into loving and
living form, absurd isn't it?
yo I'm
faded from the hatred, cross
faded with the major rage, aging
into eternity, id rather confirm
that this absurdity is simple
running away from ample supply
ain't it easier to die than live?
i ran out of fucks to give
ran outta trucks to deliver
meaning from my soul, spittin
logic from the head cavern within
skull fragments and bones hittin
the green perception I'm sittin
on the ledge, a victim to written
melancholy, guess I'm just smitten
with the convincing system of
egotistical condemned bins of
self image, distort this lineage
fake minds forget the scrimmage
is moving every time they spit it
closer and closer to ending it
but words are money, and I
can't help from spending shit,
rendering meaning rended and
ripped from reserves of paper reams
don't forget that my dreams are
more real than your screams,
a feel that distorts my scenes
till i wanna blast away a fellow
human, yellow coward like my
mind is now heard, calibre of
death, i guess i could bide my breath
and rebirth after giving less of
my time and effort, the best of times
is my worst of times, worst of rhymes
don't forget to read between the lines.

i think that the manner they enamored
the words with ain't hit with wit
just split a skull in two,
lobotomy get me thru oh forsooth
who speaks the truth?
voracious or gracious,
more racist than mace is wielded by blank faces,
conjuring virtual particles in subdivided spaces,
grace me with the places that i
might begin to make this make sense,
time travel to break tense,
tension dispensing condensed intentions
retaining split dimensions between comprehension,
demented and full  of derision,
see no contrition within the schism,
syllogism itching like logic is intrinsic,
within this mental schematic i found myself an addict,
fact check the concepts and you'll see where im at bitch,
without practice i might hack this,
backwards back fist, clash with
giants and scavenge the map,
it's time to rewind that back,
Don't Forget The Path Back Home,
but what about when I live in my dome?
oh im so level though, as above so below,
don't you know the reason?
treason is the meaning of the season.
i can only culminate in death
like nihilistic mystics,
condoning my ignorance and throwing hissy fits,
life ain't fair but im still with it,
shit in my mind and piss in my soul,
i don't know what it means to feel whole,
But I steal a molecule foretold,
pack it im my neuro system tho,
Maybe a few million more so i can show
myself my wealth i lack,
too high to remember how to write raps.
who needs direct breaks,
i write like I think when i drink like I eat,
namely until im so numb i can't perceive,
until i black out and wake up relieved
i found the knowledge but couldn't conceive,
Lost in the Traces of memory within the defeat

all y'all hollow, all
y'all follow the meaning,
halls of blood and dreams
don't forget, don't stop singing
my ears are ringing with
the remnants of breathing
dreaming I'm dealing with
it all, a call from the grave
ain't what i wanna brave
i gave and gave until i
was desiccated, and bone dry, tone
fry the melody into a brain
while the ligands scream down
agonizing and antagonizing, shame
that receptors are screaming in vain
hey, the game gotta end, shit
i gotta spend my time awake
time to wait for the technique
unique is the tempo and
kinfolk of this limbo,
a conservatory, or eternal
purgatory, it sure is boring
when the world is snoring and
exploring a blaze of glory,
oratory decimation, wreck nations
and temptation, rtheock persuasion,
believe, deceive, aggregations
of ego conglomeration, on
to the domination, i would
crack occasions across a skull
of these times, hull is
shattering to a smattering of
claptrap blabbering, gathering
all the reasons why we all die
all the reasons why we can't try
I'd rather die anyways, did that phrase
convince you of my malaise?

Bright white dragon amongst the atmosphere
might that last sin hurl me far past this fear,
past the need to fade and forget,
as the seed takes place, or, shit,
roots itself within my mind, i beget
truth in hell, this spin i find, why let it
grasp my core alone? just to own
a pass by lore in tomes? must the throne
berate and bemoan? condone what ya want,
but i own what I front, unknown and adjunct,
my soul in a rut till the fire lights it up,
my whole inner trust betrayed as i get above
flyin with the doves, im falling to earth
trying just to love, all is lost in the mirth
till i hit ground and am left to just wait
till that dragon comes again to take me away


forever failing to feel feelings, freewheeling
till i fall off the edge of existence revealing
my true crime was believing this was ever real
and thinking that letting it matter would heal
but rewind that back and play it again,
the only sin within was to ever begin
never mind to forget the falsities within
but I'll mend good health with broken bones
and neurological damage to conceal the tomes
bespoke and blown, lost far from home
but what is home besides a place I'm thrown
back to every time i find myself somewhere new
waiting for the receptors to adapt and construe
this flood of chemicals as something proper
cos it's really all I have left to offer
when im lost and waiting for a new reason
can't seem to find it without a little seizing
up and foaming at the mouth, feels good but i doubt
anyone could ever really know quit what it's about
when pain and pleasure fire up the same routes
and you're not alive when you find yourself without
a feeling like you're dying, trying to find yourself flying
denying that silly reality and forevermore designing
something that fits in better with the rhyming,
the rhythm and the reason forevermore combining
into some abstract concept you can't quite convey
another reason just to get through the day,
some silly thought that goes as it comes
and leaves me sitting here feeling undone
gotta shut it off and find yet another
so yep here i go, peel back the cover
pull back the curtains and begin to discover
why the neurotransmitters are my  only true lover
and yet they're forever scorned, fully adorned
with reasons i forget, it's all just mental porn
but ill crank it up to eleven, come hell or heaven
even though all that exists is between six and seven
or any other pair, infinite entities in disrepair
primed to relapse into the myth of having a care
watch it all disappear into thin air and despair
when i find another path that seems a bit less fair
adversity is a gift when you really think about the shit,
to know that one will struggle invokes the mind shift
to see the silver lining within the times missed
and what experience is given, i hope it might lift
but i choke on rhyme spit and evoke some trite shit
like i hope you might get just what i try to give
everything ends and begins in a form anew
so why can't it  be my turn, just for a few?