Cerxes: Love Thy Ratosk Or ratoskA iS megucA

[15:36] <Roland[DM]> ==DRAW-I MEAN START!==
[15:37] <Roland[DM]> Cerxes daydreams of Ratosk and his glistening nuts as Ratosk's computer beeps
[15:37]  * Cerxes_Khesed sits at her desk, husktop nearby, researching end of the world aversion possibilities.
[15:37]  * Cerxes_Khesed that too
[15:37] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Ratosk continues passionately making out with his nutty self.
[15:37] <Roland[DM]> Ratosk's computer beeps more insistently
[15:38] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I look over at it, has Leeroy decided to ask to join?
[15:38] <Roland[DM]> It continues doing so as you continue ignoring it, eventually adding more sound effects.
[15:39] <Roland[DM]> Anyway! Leeroy has not asked to join.
[15:39] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Obviously she wants to, but is just worried about not measuring up to two Ratosks, poor thing.
[15:39] <Roland[DM]> You see a view of Cerxes
[15:39] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Ah, Cerxes, she is next in this game.
[15:40] <Roland[DM]> She is declining wistfully/lazily/thoughtfully on her couch.
[15:40] <Roland[DM]> Well, probably her couch. It sure as shit ain't her recuperacoon
[15:40]  * Cerxes_Khesed points to her first comment
[15:41] <Roland[DM]> Oh. I swear everything is under control.
[15:41] <Cerxes_Khesed> (U ok there Bill, ha ha.)
[15:42] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: greetingS, fairesT damseL oF minE, I beaR newS whicH shalL brinG thaT expressioN froM griM darknesS tO thE heightS oF ecstasY.
[15:42]  * Roland[DM] coughs up some of the Coke he was drinking a second ago
[15:43] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: it'S timE foR yoU tO joiN mE iN thiS mosT wonderfuL oF gameS, buT firsT, I musT bE assureD oF somethinG froM yoU, sweetesT darlinG.
[15:44]  * Cerxes_Khesed notices her esperchat beep as she's studying, and is relieved to see it's a message from her beloved.
[15:45] <Roland[DM]> >Oh, isn't he dreamy?
[15:46] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: oh ratosk, i wasn't expecting a message from you so soon! why are you on your secondary handle?
[15:47] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: oh, never mind... regardless, i am so glad to hear from you. i was worried about your safety!
[15:47] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: therE iS nothinG tO worrY abouT mY lovE, sooN wE shalL alL leavE behinD ouR planetarY concernS.
[15:48] <Roland[DM]> You see a HUD around Cerxes
[15:48] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: well that's an ... ·•°ღ°•· optimistic ·•°ღ°•· way to look at looming planet death. i'm hoping i can find a way to avoid it, though.
[15:49] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Hmm, is this what Leeroy saw? I click on a few of the buttons, not paying much attention to it since I'm too busy alternating between admiring myself, my other self, and Cerxes.
[15:50] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: yeS, thaT soundS likE quitE aN issuE, I thinK I havE A waY tO takE yoU ouT oF thiS worlD thougH.
[15:50] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: you do? oh, ·•°ღ°•· ratosk ·•°ღ°•· that would be wonderful! think of all the people we could save!
[15:50] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: what have you found?
[15:50] <Roland[DM]> Hey! You selected the alchemiter in your clicking!
[15:51] <Roland[DM]> Watch where yer swingin' that thing, sonny!
[15:52] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Hm, oh the flat platform thing, I'll place it somewhere, outside for now. I move the cursor porchward, and place the alchemiter somewhere around there.
[15:52] <Cerxes_Khesed> (please don't drop it in the fucking lake)
[15:52] <Roland[DM]> It falls with a plunk. Mothmom briefly looks up from her newspaper, then looks back, muttering "damn kids."
[15:53] <Cerxes_Khesed> (\0/ SUCCESS! )
[15:53] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: thiS wonderfuL gamE, iT saveD mE froM impendinG meteoriC dooM, aS welL aS froM lonelinesS, oF A sorT.
[15:53] <Cerxes_Khesed> ·•°ღ°•· oh, ·•°ღ°•· what was that strange noise?
[15:53] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I gaze dreamily at my nutty self.
[15:54] <Roland[DM]> Your Sprite gazes nuttily at your dreamy self
[15:54]  * Cerxes_Khesed steps away from the husktop to investigate the bang.
[15:55] <Roland[DM]> Your computer alerts you to Cerxes' messages progressively more insistently, moving all the way up to the tactical nuke message from MW2
[15:55] <Roland[DM]> "TACTICAL MESSAGE, INCOMING. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP..."
[15:55] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Ah yes, this is important too.
[15:55] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: it'S youR firsT timE, yoU shoulD leT youR morE experienceD partneR takE thE leaD.
[15:56] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: i'lL telL yoU wherE yoU neeD tO puT mY thingS sO thaT wE caN reacH ouR climaX.
[15:57] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I should probably put down the other objects as well, I click and survey the options.
[15:57] <Roland[DM]> >Dreamy, I say!
[15:58]  * Cerxes_Khesed is surprised to find there's a strange machine on her porch that was not previously there. She returns to the husktop.
[15:58] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: oh is ·•°ღ°•· that where the machine came from? from the game?
[15:59] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: and it has something to do with escaping the apocalypse?
[15:59] <Roland[DM]> Okay, so you have your standard options: totem lathe, alchemiter (gone), cruxtruder, and the pre-punched card. What's it gonna be, handsome?
[16:00] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: yeS, thE gamE wilL leT mE plaY witH yoU uP closE anD personallY.
[16:00] <Roland[DM]> >You know how to pick em, Cerxes
[16:00] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Let's start off with the cruxtruder, its long cylinder appeals to me on some level, and so I place it in the top floor.
[16:01] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: you'lL wanT tO proceeD tO thE toP flooR wherE I havE placeD thE firsT machinE you'lL wanT tO usE.
[16:01]  * Cerxes_Khesed is surprised by another large thud above her, and heads upstairs to investigate as per instructions
[16:02] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: it'S A biT stoppeD uP, sO yoU shalL requirE A rougH hanD iF yoU wisH tO takE it'S loaD.
[16:02] <Roland[DM]> >Okay, he kinda starts to wear thin after a few seconds.
[16:03]  * Cerxes_Khesed the new machine takes up almost the entire room! Eugh, it was almost too big to fit. You'll have to be careful about working it. But, there's some sort of wheel...
[16:03]  * Cerxes_Khesed tries to turn the wheel
[16:03] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: don'T bE afraiD tO reallY worK iT, sometimeS thE paiN makeS thE finaL releasE thaT mucH sweeteR.
[16:04] <Roland[DM]> Roll strength, Cerxes dear
[16:05] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I place the totem lathe against a wall down on the bottom floor, that looks like a good place for it.
[16:05] <Cerxes_Khesed> (wow. 18 + 0 = 18. Cerxes has been working out.)
[16:05] <Roland[DM]> Damn straight. You show errybody dem gains as you open the cruxtruder
[16:06] <Roland[DM]> A ball of light and a dowel of some sort pop out
[16:06] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Oh, and I drop the prepunched card on the ground out front of the lathe.
[16:06] <Roland[DM]> The latter sits there inanimate. The former admires your gains.
[16:06] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Hmm, that's strange, her orb appeared before mine.
[16:07]  * Cerxes_Khesed investigates the dowel
[16:07] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I look around for a picture of myself.
[16:07] <Ratosk_Skyurr> In Cerxes' house.
[16:08]  * Cerxes_Khesed captchalogs dowel & returns downstairs to her computer
[16:09] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: the machine created this ·•°ღ°•· strange glowing orb ·•°ღ°•· and a deep green cylinder. what do i do with these?
[16:09] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: noW, mY deaR, iT iS timE foR insertioN.
[16:09] <Roland[DM]> >Oh my god
[16:10] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: doing what where now?
[16:10] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: i'vE alreadY prepareD thE holE againsT youR walL, iT standS awaitinG foR yoU tO stufF iT fulL.
[16:11] <Roland[DM]> >IHATESQUIRRELSIHATESQUIRRELSIHATESQUIRRELSIHATESQUIRRELSIHATEDQUIRRELS
[16:11] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: thiS oF coursE requireS A speciaL tooL, yoU wilL wanT tO placE thaT carD intO thE sloT foR iT, anD thE doweL intO thE carvinG areA.
[16:12]  * Cerxes_Khesed looks around, sees no such equipment, but remembers there was another thud downstairs. She heads down to the first floor and sees yet another new piece of equipment.
[16:12] <Cerxes_Khesed> there it is. ·•°ღ°•· sorry for the noise, mothmom. ·•°ღ°•·
[16:12] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I continue looking for a picture of myself in Cerxes' home.
[16:12] <Ratosk_Skyurr> It is vitally important that I find one.
[16:13] <Roland[DM]> Does cerxes have a picture of Ratosk in her home?
[16:14] <Cerxes_Khesed> Luckily for Ratosk, there IS a small framed picture of Ratosk, in a locket on her desk.
[16:14] <Cerxes_Khesed> The locket looks a little bit like this one: https://img1.etsystatic.com/034/0/7104097/il_570xN.557188275_chvp.jpg
[16:15] <Roland[DM]> O, Ratosk! Take me now! The picture seems to say. But there is only one love for Ratosk.
[16:16]  * Cerxes_Khesed meanwhile goes about placing the punched card in its slot and the totem in its carving. Glitter explodes everywhere.
[16:16] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Perfect, I use the cursor to pick up the locket and attempt to place it within the orb.
[16:17] <Roland[DM]> Oh my god roll dex assuming Allie agrees to that
[16:18] <Cerxes_Khesed> (Of course I agree to Ratosk putting a picture of himself found in a Sailor Moon locket into the orb. It's like you DON'T want Ratosksprite to be a magical boy or something.)
[16:18] <Ratosk_Skyurr> !roll 1d20+3 2 x ratoskspritecombob
[16:18] <Tyche[Dice]> Ratosk_Skyurr rolled : 1d20+3 2 x ratoskspritecombob --> [ 1d20=20 ]{23}
[16:18] <Cerxes_Khesed> (...)
[16:18] <Roland[DM]> Oh my god my sides
[16:19] <Cerxes_Khesed> (... see? Tychedice approves.)
[16:19] <Ratosk_Skyurr> (help, I'm dying)
[16:19] <Roland[DM]> The locket and picture count as two separate prototypings and you see... Ratosk in a magical girl outfit
[16:19]  * Ratosk_Skyurr swoons.
[16:19] <Roland[DM]> Glitter explodes all over the place
[16:20] <Ratosk_Skyurr> This is unquestionably the best decision anyone anywhere has ever made. There is no doubt in my mind.
[16:21] <Roland[DM]> Ratosk cries a little, and loses 1 HP
[16:21] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Tears of joy.
[16:22] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: noW cerxeS, I wilL alwayS bE witH yoU.
[16:22] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I tenderly reach out and caress my magical self in the screen.
[16:23] <Cerxes_Khesed> (For your future reference, boys: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cute_High_Earth_Defense_Club_Love! )
[16:23] <Roland[DM]> Everyone is always Ratosk as the Sprite does that thing cats do when you scratch their chin
[16:23] <Roland[DM]> Ratosk is the star of every BL Manga in existence
[16:23] <Cerxes_Khesed> (So.... drule?)
[16:24] <Cerxes_Khesed> (... oh my god, *drool, wtf is wrong with me today.)
[16:24] <Roland[DM]> Continuing on, Cerxes has a nagging feeling in the back of her neck that says "yo, hurry up!"
[16:24] <Roland[DM]> >yo, hurry up!
[16:24] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: noW cerxeS, iF yoU caN teaR youR eyeS awaY froM thiS visioN oF purE majestiC beautY, yoU havE twO stepS remaininG iN thiS procesS.
[16:24]  * Cerxes_Khesed feels suddenly nervous
[16:24]  * Cerxes_Khesed for multiple reasons
[16:25] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: there'S A verY specifiC spoT yoU neeD tO stimulatE foR thiS gamE tO reacH it'S finaL climaX.
[16:25] <Cerxes_Khesed> Also: "* Cerxes_Khesed meanwhile goes about placing the punched card in its slot and the totem in its carving. Glitter explodes everywhere."
[16:26] <Roland[DM]> I'm with you. One more thing to do...
[16:26] <Cerxes_Khesed> (Should I just assume the totem got carved then?)
[16:26] <Roland[DM]> Yup
[16:26] <Cerxes_Khesed> (Cool.)
[16:26] <Roland[DM]> My b
[16:27] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: puT thE carveD toteM ontO thE firsT machinE I placeD, iT wilL learN it'S everY curvE anD contouR, likE A tighT holE grippinG arounD aN insertioN, anD froM thiS somethinG neW wilL bE produceD.
[16:27] <Roland[DM]> ((Vamp pls my sides))
[16:27]  * Cerxes_Khesed recaptchas the now-carved totem and runs upstairs to the computer.
[16:27] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: ratosk, i still don't understand what this has to do with escaping an apocalypse!
[16:28] <Roland[DM]> Hey, a timer. 1:00.
[16:28] <Roland[DM]> The sky above is turning red
[16:28] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: trusT mE mY darlinG, iT wilL whisK yoU tO A lanD faR awaY.
[16:28]  * Cerxes_Khesed begins to get nervous, seeing the sky outside
[16:28] <Roland[DM]> 0:57
[16:29] <Cerxes_Khesed> CC: okay... i trust you!
[16:29] <Ratosk_Skyurr> AS: thanK yoU, mY fairesT onE.
[16:29]  * Cerxes_Khesed heads back out to the porch, glancing at Mothmom as she goes. She hopes Mothmom will be ok as well.
[16:29] <Roland[DM]> The area around you begins to shake as the timer reads 0:53
[16:31]  * Cerxes_Khesed on unsteady feet, reaches the alchemeter and places the totem on the smaller platform. OBVIOUSLY it's supposed to go on the smaller platform, anyone who was even basically literate in occult symbology would be able to tell that.
[16:32] <Roland[DM]> Everything begins to flux around you as you presumably reach for the button. Ratosk thinks you're moving terribly slowly
[16:33]  * Cerxes_Khesed le presses the button
[16:33] <Roland[DM]> The timer ZIPS down to 0:10, and then stops as Mothmom streaks to intercept the meteor. She struggles with it as your item is alchemized, and the time keeps going from 0:10 to 0:09 and back again
[16:33] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I watch with rapt suspense, praying she succeeds.
[16:34] <Cerxes_Khesed> mothmom ·•°ღ°•· nooooooo! ·•°ღ°•·
[16:34] <Roland[DM]> Mothmom is the tantalus of meteors, slowly losing ground-air?-to the enormous heavenly projectile
[16:35] <Roland[DM]> Your item... Is a vial of liquid.
[16:35]  * Cerxes_Khesed looks around for something, anything I can do to help her lusii
[16:36] <Roland[DM]> A cute little jade green vial of liquid. The timer has moved from 0:10 to 0:09 and now keeps alternating from 0:09 to 0:08 as Mothmom continues to struggle
[16:36] <Cerxes_Khesed> (wow fuck you too self's sense of POV)
[16:36] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I gesture at her to drink it even though she can't see me. I can't bear the thought of what would happen if she failed.
[16:37] <Roland[DM]> The vial reads "drink me"
[16:38]  * Cerxes_Khesed grasps the vial, desperately, sure the answer to Mothmom's survival is found in this strange game construct. Putting all of her faith in Ratosk's assurance that the game will save them, she tosses her head back and downs the liquid like a shot.
[16:38] <Roland[DM]> 0:08 to 0:07 as Mothmom loses ground
[16:38] <Roland[DM]> As you drink the liquid, you feel an indescribable pain
[16:38] <Cerxes_Khesed> ·•°ღ°•· ahhhh ·•°ღ°•·
[16:39] <Roland[DM]> Everything goes white around you as you sink to the ground trembling
[16:39]  * Cerxes_Khesed collapses
[16:39] <Roland[DM]> The sky is black. There are no stars. Roll con
[16:39] <Ratosk_Skyurr> Did it work?! I stare at the screen worriedly.
[16:39] <Cerxes_Khesed> (12 + 1 = 13 )
[16:39] <Roland[DM]> Ratosk you see the screen go white and then come back to see Cerxes trembling on the ground
[16:40] <Roland[DM]> She manages to ride out the poison and stands up
[16:40]  * Cerxes_Khesed shakily gets to her feet, looking around (15 perception if necessary)
[16:40] <Cerxes_Khesed> mothmom...?
[16:41] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I check on my magical self, is he ok?!
[16:41] <Roland[DM]> In the distance, she sees skyscrapers. They somehow contrast against the black sky, and little lights flicker within their windows. You can hear tinny music playing in the distance as well. Old time swing and jazz.  You see letters in the air:
[16:41] <Roland[DM]> THE LAND OF GRAMOPHONES AND MONOCHROMIA
[16:42] <Roland[DM]> P.S.: MagicalRatoskSprite admires himself in a mirror
[16:42]  * Cerxes_Khesed takes a deep breath and poses like a heroine, because shit just got real
[16:42] <Ratosk_Skyurr> I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Everything's OK now.
[16:42] <Roland[DM]> ==END?==
[16:43] <Ratosk_Skyurr> ===END?===
[16:43] <Cerxes_Khesed> ==END==