Weird Girl Date

I was lonely and cold on a wet autumn day
I had no cats and no dogs and my roommate's away
I played a few games on my laptop PC
But today it just seemed they were all too easy

When a message popped up on my discord I jumped
It was an old friend who was feeling quite pumped
"You're sad and must find a new girlfriend"
he said, "someone to love and someone to depend"

I asked how he knew this, he replied with emojis:
"Stardew Valley on Steam" and I uttered "oh jeez"
Twelve hours I'd played in the last day alone
I had a problem, I knew it, I began to groan

"Okay I admit it, I play it all day
What would you have me do? Please tell me I pray!
Do you know a nice girl, one who is revered?"
"Even better," he said, "Date a girl who is weird"

I paused for a moment, "A girl who is what?"
"A girl who is weird," I replied with a "but,
a girl who is odd might not be one for me
I'm mundane," I complained, "would a weird girl date me?"

My friend on discord typed for quite a long time
then undid it all and linked me with a chime
"Just try this site out, you know it can't hurt
But do it just once, you useless introvert"

I began to shudder, and shudder I did
then I thought for a while and a smile did slid
"Sure, I can go try it," I said with defiance
In spite of my shyness, I gave my compliance

I made an account and I wrote down my age
A girl who is normal seeks a girl who is strange
I took a nice selfie that showed lots of skin
then erased it and took a new one with chagrin

My profile was ready, I could do no more
So I lay on my mattress that sat on the floor
I slipped into dreams that were odd and erratic
"Will noone swipe right?" I surmised with a panic

In the morning it seemed like my fears were unfound
When I turned on my PC it made a sweet sound
A suitor responded, I was notified
So I sat myself down, had our date ratified

The next day I went to the park in a dress
One my roommate chose for me with lengthy duress
I sat on a bench, and I sat, sat some more
"I was stood up!" I had cried, my dating life is no more

Then walking towards me was one truly strange girl
She had thick hair and long claws, a fanged smile did unfurl
Aside from a hat she did not wear a lot
Since very soft fur covered every last spot!

The hat, I should mention, I had not a clue
Not a bowler, or cap, to me it was new
It was tall and was striped, like a gaudy top hat
But it clearly appealed to this weird girl-cat

I stood and I stammered, I blushed quite a bit
I gave her my name, inside I threw a fit
She chuckled and laughed, gave my hand quite the shake
"Sorry I'm late, please don't mind my mistake"

We stood there a while unsure of what to say
Not me nor not her in this park on this day
And in our silence we did find a kinship
And we smiled at this newfound relationship

"I got us some tickets to see a movie,
You said you liked horror, I found one to see,
The movie is late, so lets see to your tummy
I know a good place where the food is quite yummy!"

It was then that my fear did begin to return
Would her idea of dinner make my stomach churn?
I took a deep breath and remembered the show
A very kind gesture, it had me aglow

"I trust in your judgement," I said with a smile
"Let's walk over," she said, "it's hardly a mile!"
The rain did not pour but the ground still was wet
But I found this refreshing so I did not fret

We chatted and walked and I felt quite so humble
For when we arrived oh my stomach did grumble!
She smiled at me, and hers did just the same
The walk made us famished, and that was her aim!

The menu was strange, it was just as I feared
But my date did not mind that the menu was weird
The food was so odd, would I have to scram?
Then my date spoke up "Try the green eggs and ham!"

I tried some, I liked it, why did I complain?
I'd eat it with a mouse, in the dark, or a train!
My date beamed so brightly, I grinned just a tad
"I'm happy you like it, I am oh so glad!"

We talked and we ate, my date truly was funny
Then I started to wonder where she got her money
Might a girl quite so strange have a job just as much?
An ape-wrassler, bedazzler, weed whacker, or such?

So I asked and she answered which filled me with shock
"An accountant," she said, "I buy and sell stock"
A less fitting job? Well I doubt there was one
"I babysit too, less for cash, more for fun."

I began to consider I may have misjudged her
For all of her strangeness, much brought us together
I've been far too rude to this be-hatted cat
She's too nice to me, truly could I match that?

She asked what I did, and my focus was back
"I make games for a living, I have quite a knack!
Coding, and writing, and art, I adore!
There's not one part about me I am proud of more!"

Her eyes were like stars, she put down her fish crepe
"That's amazing!" she said, with her mouth quite agape
"I do so love games," she said with a big smile,
"We surely could play one, we could for a while!"

"I know a few games that are really quite fun,
But to not make a mess we should only play one,
If we got kicked out I surely would cry
So instead we can just try Two Truths And A Lie"

With a bite of her fish crepe that was blue and red
I gave her an answer, "that sounds fun!" So she said,
"In the bath I eat cake, and this meal is quite yummy
and inside my hat there's a small copy of me"

"It's the last one," I said, but I'm wrong, she did claim
"My crepe is overdone, it is truly a shame"
"So the last one is true, oh show me!" I pled
She lifted her hat: a small cat on her head!

The small cat had a hat, so I started to frown
"So what about her... cats all the way down?"
She shook her finger, "They go from A to Z
A cat any smaller you really can't see!"

It now was my turn to give two truths and a lie
"If I had but one wish, oh I'd wish I could fly.
When I'm lonely I game for 12 hours a day
And last year I did have my first kiss that was gay,"

"Surely 12 hours is much, much, too much,
I can't game that long, even when lonely as such!"
I grimaced, in shame I lied a second time
"You're right, gaming that long is surely a crime!"

We paid for our meal, and it was a delight
In spite of the crepe, my date did tip alright
The theater was near, with a walk oh so brief
We were stuffed to the point that it was a relief!

The movie began with a thunder and lightning
For me it was normal; for her it was frightening!
I smiled a little, I stifled a laugh
but then she shrank down to a foot and a half!

She said, "oh please do not worry, I'm not seven feet tall
Cats don't like loud noises, no we don't at all!
Some shudder, some shake, but sadly I shrink,
I know it is weird, that must be what you think"

But I knew she was weird, it's now something I like
If I wanted mundane I'd have taken a hike!
I put my hand on her shoulder, to offer support
And soon she felt good about being so short

As the movie went on she did grow quite a lot
The thunder had scared her but the monster did not!
My arm stayed around her the whole movie date
By the end she returned to her seven foot eight!

The sunlight rose up with the monster deceased
The survivors found hope after felling the beast
And we too had hope we each found a new friend
And a romance will kindle that will never end

But now it was late, and the date must now cease
Though I needed something so I could find piece
I stood way straight up on the tips of my toes
And she held me up high, in the air I did rose

My lips planted on hers and it felt oh-so right
Like rhyme, symbols, and beat can set poems alight
In Iambic manner words fall into place
And in similar cadence my heart it did race!

I stood high in the air as height I did gain
Was the ground far below? Was I going insane?
"One wish," she had smiled, "it's one I can grant!"
"I can do much with this hat, there's not much that I can't!"

It is true, as I saw, the hat was held aloft
By Little Cat A, with a sound oh so soft
She ran a small engine with just a small flame
"A hat air balloon!" I had said with exclaim!

We both held on tight as we flew through the night
"I told a lie before," I said in our flight.
"The gaming is real, I do it a lot,
The kiss was the lie, before now I had not!"

The cat gave me a smile and her clone gave the same
"It was my first kiss too, well, at least with a dame"
We landed at my door, and she bid me adieu
"But before you go home I must give something to you,"

"My brother has friends who made this just for fun,
A hat just like mine, from Thing Two and Thing One,
They used magical wool from the Truffula tree
And in it you'll find all you could ever need"

I understood now I need not be alone
I knew I would love my new hat's little clone
So I learned, while my date, for as much as I loved her
I now know my self-esteem's oh so much smaller

But if love could come to me in one single day
Maybe loving myself could come much the same way
What made her so strange I now found so endearing
From her hat to her fur and her thunderstorm fearing

I found something in her, she saw something in me
My creative mind, or kind heart, it could be...
There must be a part of me she needed a lot
Will it matter if I know or if I do not?

I slept with a smile, I was out like a light
My dreams were so pleasant, I slept through the night
The very next day I had messaged my friend
I told him, "It went well, I need not pretend"

"But now it is your turn, you're alone are you not?
To the passion you had I gave quite a fair thought!
The girl I am dating is truly bizarre
But she spoke of a friend who lives rather quite far"

"He lives up in the mountains, near you, in a cave,
He's quite lonely too, and it truly is grave!
His heart's grown a few sizes, and could even more
If you'd visit him soon, like tomorrow at four?"