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- >Day Envy in Canterlot
- >Be Norman
- >Its just another day, going home after school
- >Today you had an exam, you studied well so there's nothing to worry about
- >Enough thinking about your school, time to go home and play CoD
- >You open the door, as always.
- >You take of your shoes and leave them on the floor, as always
- >You masturbate, as always
- >you cum, as always
- >you see your cousin entering your room, as...
- >WHAT THE FUCK SHITSHITSHITSHIT
- >aborting aborting aborting aborting
- >you cover lil' Normy with your sheets
- What the fuck cousin what did i told you about getting inside my room without my permission
- >''Oh, sorry Norman''
- >he gets out of the room
- >There's a knock on the door
- >''Excuse me, cousin, can I enter your room, please?''
- >you quickly clean everything
- Yes, cos, you can.
- >he enters your room
- What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were in LA
- >Suddenly your dad enters the room
- >''He's here for some weeks, so you will have to sleep in the sofa while he's here''
- >Oh shit
- >You always hated your cousin, the perfect guy
- >He always did better than you in everything
- >He even kicked your ass at CoD in his first try
- >And now he'll be going to your school and sleeping in your bed
- >This day couldn't be worse
- >or at least that's what you thought until...
- >you hear a knock in the front door of your house
- >You go and open it
- >Oh no...
- >It’s the Aryan Beauty, next to Purple and Pink
- >''HI NORMY!'' says Pink in a excited tone
- Hi girls
- >''How are you doing, darling?'' says the Aryan Beauty
- >''Ready to study some history?'' says Purple
- >You forgot that you arranged to study History with the girls at your house
- >And with your cousin here
- >This is gonna be bad
- >speaking of the devil...
- >''Hello girls, i am Norman's cousin! glad to meet you!'' says your cousin, who was behind you.
- >''HelloimpinkiepiegladtomeetyoutooyoudontlooklikeNormanatallitsasurprisehe'syourcousin''says Pink while shaking your cousin's hand
- >They seem like they'll get along pretty well
- >''My name is Twilight Sparkle, Nice to meet you!'' says Purple
- >''Hello'' says your cousin, then he notices the book Purple's carrying. ''Nice book you have there, I loved it''
- >then that lead to a conversation about books that was completely out of your understanding.
- >but as they were chatting he noticed the Aryan Beauty.
- >Damn it cousin
- >''Well, what do we have here? what a delightful looking young lady'' He says while kissing Aryan Beauty's hand.
- >She blushes a little
- >Fuck you too, cousin.
- >''Oh darling, you surely look good as well'' Says The Aryan Beauty while giggling a little.
- >That day was full of your cousin being nice to your Aryan Beauty and shit.
- >You know where that will lead.
- >Next day
- >Its Saturday so you didn't have to go to school today.
- >Your cousin arranged with the girls to make a picnic today at the park
- >You were invited as well.
- >You have to stop this before it’s too late.
- >Today you will make a fool of your cousin in front of the girls, so he doesn't have a chance with the Aryan Beauty
- >The plan is to put some laxatives in his sandwich; the park has no public bathrooms, so he will shit himself in front of the girls
- >You are a clever guy, Norman.
- >You are walking with your cousin to the local park.
- >It is a nice park, it has all sorts of plants and it smells nice, not like the other park
- >the other park has 5 or 6 trees and smells like cigarettes
- >but there's something the other park does have
- >bathrooms
- >you make an evil laugh
- >''Why are you laughing, Norm?'' asks your cousin
- Oh... um... i... i remembered a good joke, heh...
- >You give a fake smile
- >''Alright... Oh! look, we are almost there!'' says your cousin while pointing at the park.
- >the girls were already there
- >''Hi girls, sorry for making you wait'' says your cousin
- >''No prob, Normy's cousin, we just arrived too!'' says pink
- >You and your cousin start to prepare the picnic.
- >once the picnic is set up, you start to eat
- >Damn you were hungry
- >The girls start asking your cousin a lot of things and bla bla bla
- >you don't care for that evil motherfucker
- Uh... girls, be right back, I have to make a call.
- >''No problem, Norman'' Says purple
- >Now is time
- >You hide behind a tree and take out the laxatives
- >Maybe 1 or 2...
- >NAH
- >4 laxatives
- >you really want this fucker to suffer
- >time to move on
- >you approach the picnic with the laxatives in your hand
- >You make your cousin's favorite sandwich
- >2 Slices of White Bread
- >Mayonnaise
- >1 Lettuce leaf
- >2 Large Tomato Slices
- >3 Slices of Swiss cheese
- >1 Slice of Ham
- Hey Cos, do you want a sandwich? It's your favorite!
- >''Yeah, that sounds good, norm. Thanks'' Answers your cousin
- >He grabs the sandwich
- >yes
- >He takes it to his mouth
- >YES, YES!
- >He opens his mouth
- >DO IT FAGGOT!
- >His phone rings
- >DAMN IT!
- >''My phone's ringing, could you give me a minute, please?''
- >''Of course, darling, go on'' says the Aryan Beauty
- >Fuck, it was so close
- >He doesn't seem to enjoy what he's hearing
- >Doesn't matter to you, you want him to suffer
- >Oh, here he comes
- >here comes the final part of your plan
- >''Alright girls, where were we?''
- YOU WERE GOING TO EAT THAT SANDWICH
- >''Yes, thank you for reminding me, norm''
- >He grabs the sandwich
- >yes
- >He takes it to his mouth
- >YES, YES!
- >He opens his mouth
- >DO IT FAGGOT!
- >A poor child comes and asks him for money
- >YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
- >He leaves his sandwich and opens his wallet
- >Your fucking cousin gives him 10 bucks
- >''That's very generous, Norman's cousin!'' says the Aryan Beauty
- >All this shit is getting you hungry
- >you grab a sandwich and eat it.
- >Pretty delicious
- >It has tomatoes
- >and Swiss cheese
- >and lettuce
- >and ham
- >and mayonnaise
- >all covered by 2 slices of white bread
- >wait
- >processing
- >processing
- >processing
- >Your stomach makes a funny noise
- Oh holy Jesus Christ
- >FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
- >you look for a bathroom
- >''What happens, Norman?'' asks Purple ''You seem kinda worried''
- It’s nothing, just-
- >You shit yourself
- >Diarrhea all over your pants
- >it’s all over the picnic now
- >''Norman what's happening!?'' Screams Purple
- >''looks like baby Norman got some poopy in his pants'' Says Pink, with a jokingly tone
- >Your Aryan Beauty just stands there, gazing with shock
- >''Cousin, what happened now?''
- What happened now? WHAT HAPPENED NOW? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS NOW, YOU WANT TO STEAL MY DREAM GIRL FROM MY HANDS YOU FUCKING MONSTER YOU ARE THE WORST COUSIN I EVER HAD, FIRST YOU COME OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, THEN YOU ENTER MY ROOM WITHOUT ASKING, SLEEP IN MY BED, AND NOW YOU FLIRT WITH MY GIRL. SO I PUT SOME LAXATIVES IN YOUR SANDWICH TO SHOW YOU WHO'S THE BOSS!
- >''Excuse me, Norman, but YOUR GIRL? I never said I was your girl, also, your cousin has been very kind to everyone of us, and you thank him like this?'' says the Aryan Beauty
- >Your cousin stands there, looking without emotion
- >''That's the most immature thing you have done, and for your information he is GAY, he never had the intention to flirt with me. I'm sorry Norman but after what happened, I don't want ANYTHING with you''
- >The other girls are trying to help your cousin, while giving you disapproval glares
- >''Bye, Norman'' says the girl that used to be your Aryan Beauty
- >You stand there, with your pants covered in shit
- >While a crowd laughs at your failure.
- >You feel like a monster, blinded by the envy.
- >You hate yourself now
- >This is the worst day ever
- >''Norman...''
- >''Norman...''
- >''Norman?''
- >''NORMAN WHAT THE FUCK!?''
- >You wake up
- >You had a nightmare
- >And now you are covered in shit
- >''Norman what the hell happened...''
- I-
- >''look, your cousin came here for this weekend, when you are done with... THAT -He points at your shit- Come downstairs and welcome him'' Says your dad, then he closes the door.
- >This surely was a [spoiler] Shitty [/spoiler] Morning.
- >You clean all the shit and immediately go downstairs
- >You have the urge to apologize to your cousin
- >And to ask him if he's gay
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