Inari bar

>Teacher I'd Like to Fug
I'd fuck a Kawakami Hakutaku to be honest.

A cat maid teacher!

I want to go to a cat maid cafe where you get to pet the maids.

Kids these days.

What? You'd rather go to one of these back alley mofu mafia owned bars?
Good luck leaving there without getting roughed up by drunk foxes.

>Hit up 2Soft, 2Tender, 2Tails Bar & Grill
>Crowd is unusually... foxy
>As in, nearly every table has some variant of kitsune or another
>Massively stacked nine-tailed Inari manning the bar
>Take a seat next to a Kitsune-Bi and another, lesser-tailed Inari
>"So, what'll it be?"
>look at the menu
>It's all a bunch of puns, references, and innuendo
>it doesn't even mention what's in them
>pick the least punny one to avoid embarrassment by saying it aloud
>"Uhhh, I'll have the Sunshower."
>"Oh, really? Who's the lucky girl?"
>wait, what
>"I don't really have one."
>"You do know what that means, right?"
>she pulls out a funnel, some mixer, and a fuckhuge bottle of agave silver tequilla
>"Wait, I don't think I-"
>Entire bar begins to chant "Sun-show-er! Sun-show-er!"
>Bartender shoves the funnel in your mouth
>Cry softly as you're waterboarded with an orange-strawberry-flavored tequilla mix
>get fucking piss wasted on the stuff
>wake up the next morning, hungover, and sharing the bed with three Youko
Mofu bars are dangerous!

I wonder how many gaijins end up accidentally marrying a fox thanks to these bars.
>wake up the next morning, hungover, and sharing the bed with three Youko
Good luck to that poor dude, one Youko is already too much for your typical man.

>accidentally
Those vixens know exactly what they're doing.

What? That's impossible. All the tanuki-approved guidebooks say inari are extremely trustworthy. They'd never do anything dishonest like that, would they?

They're all in cahoots, I tell you.

Sounds like a load of tinfoil paranoia to me, anon.

Every time you see them, they're always ufufuing to themselves. Over what? Whatever it is, it can't be benign.

Pipe smoking Tanukis who ufufufu between each puff are rapebait.

Will she be ufufuing when I break into her home, tie her up, loot her valuables, and tell her that the value of all these things are minuscule compared to her heart?

She will break out of her restraints and ufufu while taunting you about liking such a old tanuki obly to rape you so hard you cant notice her tears of utter joy at your words.

She won't break out. I'll have her extra secured with handcuffs and a wedding ring.


I wanna sidle up next to the inari matron!

>Going to the horniest, most thirsty and desperate fox
I hope you plan to have a dozen daughters or so.

>Plan
It's the MGE, all I have to do is let my dick do the thinking and the rest work itself out. It's a valid strategy. Besides, how desperate can she be when she's so pretty and out getting that much attention? I bet she's just faking it.

>how desperate can she be when she's so pretty and out getting that much attention?
She might be pretty but she's old and it's showing, as for getting attention she always puts the younger kitsunes before herself.

>she always puts the younger kitsunes before herself.
Yeah, that's the kind of person I'd actually, in real life, end up accidentally romancing just to make sure she had fun herself after taking care of others so much. RIP pelvis, hello family.

>accidentally romancing
You mean something like frequently visiting her bar and always rejecting younger foxes so that you can chat one on one with the matron all evening?