Thread 5: Stories 151-153

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>Luna
"Applejack"
~~~~~~~

>Ah HAH! WE HAVE DONE IT!

"Finally, was worried you were never gonna meet someone nice. What's the name?"

>...We shall kill you slowly for that one, someday. But not today! For you see, we have found the perfect means of monetization! We shall save Equestria's economy by ourselves!

"This Ah' gotta hear."

>We take the most embarrassing dreams from some of the worlds richest ponies, and tell them if they do not pay us a certain amount, we will show these dreams to the public! Brilliant, is it not!?

"...So yer' gonna blackmail ponies?"

>Maybe. What does "Blackmail" mean?

"It means ta' threaten someone to do what you want with incriminatin' evidence."

>Then yes, that is what we are going to do.

"That's illegal."

>Princess illegal or commoner illegal?

"Everyone illegal."

>Drat. Then we must repeal the law that makes Blackmail illegal!

"No."

>Please? This is the first idea we have had in months, and we are rather proud of it.

"It's a bad idea."

>...Really?

"The worst."

>Oh... alright then.

"Iffin' it makes ya' feel any better, Cadence actually came up with it already, Ah' shot her down before this."

>Actually, that makes me feel far, far worse.

"Ah thought it might."
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>AJ12
“Zecora”
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>I’m just going to say this right off the bat. Not entirely comfortable, ma’am.

“Comfortable you soon will be, once you set up camp with me.”

>No, it’s kinda- I mean, you alone would be fine, you’re fine- wait, I didn’t mean fine as in fine, fine but fine as in okay because you are. You’re okay. But not the okay that would make you think-

“While your stuttering is very cute, I’d much prefer if you were mute.”

>…

“Take a look around my hut and know that this is more than luck. Ponies near and far seek my aid, to help throughout their fun-filled days. And now upon my door you knock, you have the key and I the lock.”

>...was that some sort of sexual innuendo there? Keys and locks…? I-

“The lock of which I speak, is the employment that you seek.”

>Ooooh. Well, you know, you could’ve just said that. Those rhymes are pretty mislea-

“Why is it you look so ill? Perhaps I should fetch a healing swill?”

>That cauldron. The big one in the middle of the room? It’s… there’s a t-tail hanging out… and a tongue…

“Oh yes, oh yes, come and see, a secret kept between you and me!"

>That depends on the legality of what you’re mixing. And seriously, the rhyming? Is that a tick?

“My rhyming is not a tick, but what happens when struck with a stick.”

>…

“But see this brew is my own invention, a way to deal death to those unmentioned.

>Because that's not foreboding. Are you going to mention them…?

“No because you seem forever shaken, a job with me is perhaps mistaken. A pity it is but you lack the spine, or the strength to grab and make me whine.”

>Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You definitely said something sexu-

With a slam, AJ12 finds himself outside of Zecora’s hut looking beyond baffled.

>I… huh. Ah well, at least she didn’t stab me. And what an ass. 56’d have field day with her.

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>Chrysalis
"Sombra Talk"
'Sombra write'
~~~~~~

>Smoke monster, I need a male opinion.

"Graaah!?"

>What, are you not a guy? I thought you were a guy.

"Grrrrrr!"

>Alright! Jeeze! I just want to know, which do you think is sexier. This one, orrr this one!

'Why bother? Nobody wants you. You should try to be less disgusting first.'

>Didn't ask for life tips, buddy.

'You came to your sworn enemy for advice on sexualizing clothing. There are a lot of tips you need.'

>Sworn enemy? Giving yourself a bit extra credit there, I have no idea who you are.

'I am Sombra! The mad unicorn king who once ruled-'

>Blah blah blah, or I guess scribble scribble scribble in your case, point is, don't care. We're not enemies.

'For every moment you try to harm the one she cares about most, I will wish harm upon you!'

>I don't want to harm him, I want him to harm me. My backside, mostly. With his hoof. While his is wrecking my-

"GRAAGHBLAAAH!"

>Stop trying to throw up. You can't eat.

'She cares for more than just the usurper! She also is quite attached to the love-wielder!'

>What, Caddy?

'RARH!'

>I... well, crud, I kind of want to do hurt her sometimes. It's not personal, she's just standing in the way of me being the badass Queen. I actually like her otherwise, but she's a problem.

'How?'

>By being married to Shining Armor.

'But... she's the more useful to your endeavors. He is considerably talented, yes, but she will literally super-charge your powers. Together, you could accomplish anything.'

>Do you really need to write the little dots? I get the pause. It's implied.

'Focus!'

>Fine, okay, yes. She would be more useful from purely a power standpoint. But she's not as useful for the other stuff.

'Like?'

>Romantic stuff. Stuff like, I don't know, watching a meteor shower. Relaxing in a massive bubble bath with all the candles. Seeing a play together... going on a long walk though a beautiful garden... g-geting some ice cream and sharing the same cone... g-going to sleep w-with his arms wrapped around you, and him saying he lo-

"GRAAAAAAGH!

>GAH! U-uh, right, that stuff. See my point? She's just... she's in the way.

'Yes, I believe I do. But to bring pain upon the Princess is to bring pain upon the young one. I cannot stand for it."

>Fine, jeeze, just wanted your opinion. Noo need to get prissy.

'I do not care, I have no time for this. You actually interrupted me, the young one wishes to have a hoof race. I know, don't bother pointing it out, it won't help. Good day.'

*He floats slightly down the hall, then stops*

'The outfit on the left is more desirable, by the way. It won't help, but at least it's something.'

>...Thanks.

'Do not harm her, Chrysalis. Her body or her heart. I will not allow her to cry. I swear it. Find another way, or this will end shortly and painfully for you.'

He leaves that paper with her. Just so she knows.

As if she could forget the chill that just went down her spine.

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