halloween speshul

>Be me
>Be Farm Anon
>It's Halloween
>It's time to scare small children and take their candy

>Altsoba, Valentine, Ulysses and I are all piled into the jeep, asses to elbows
>I'm currently dressed up as an astronaut, Ulysses as Elvis, Altsoba as some anime girl? Yukareote? Yukarnie?
>Whoever she is, she apparently carries around a bunch of Stielhandgrenates
>And Valentine is going as herself because "I'm a halloween staple"
>Currently cruising at a comfortable 100 MPH, blaring obnoxiously loud remixes of spooky scary skeletons
>It's around 9PM, the sun has just turned the landscape into the orange dusk
>We're on our way to the haunted trail that just opened up
>"Miss Wickers Wailing Woods" or something
>we nearly tokyo drifted into a weird... milk van
>We hop out of the jeep and get in line
>holy fuck this is a long line
>nearly fucking EVERYONE is here
>There are a couple of dudes from that 4th of July party I went to
>That guy with the metal arm
>That guy and that harpy
>I wanna go say hi, but that'd be a little weird
>After near fucking HOURS of waiting in this damn line, cuddled against Altsoba, we get to the front gate
>It's a huge fucking sign with gnarled tree roots wrapped around the edge
>There's a cloaked figure atop the sign
>"Hear ye, Hear ye, wayward souls! Step foot across this gate and be no more! You're about to enter the Wailing Wood!"
>His voice sounds like a radio, and his breathing is like an accordion
>cool.jpg

>holy fuck this is boring
>Nearly every turn is a jumpscare
>The only one bothered by it is Ulysses and he's only mildly annoyed now
>this is kinda gay, and not worth 60 bucks
>Ulysses finally breaks the silence
>"Hey Anon, maybe we should skip on this shit. Let's go get our money back."
>"Sounds good, this place is starting to suck anyway."
>We turn to head back down the trail
>It isn't there anymore, its just the treeline
>spookedanonnoises.jpg
>Valentine slowly grips onto Ulysses
>"Maybe we should just continue. I don't want to go through those woods."
>We turn back around, to come face to face with a clearing
>in the middle is a large stone entryway with stairs leading down
>The wrought iron gate slowly creaks open, beckoning us inside
>Ulysses puffs out his chest, as he usually does when trying to be brave
>"FUCK IT, FUCK THIS SPOOKY SHIT, I'M PUTTING THIS PLACE IN THE BOOK OF GRUDGES WHEN I GET BACK HOME."
>We all cautiously walk towards the open door
>In a single fucking instant, some skeleton hops on top of the stone entry
>"Good luck you poor bastards!"
>He throws a bottle of milk into my hands and slams the door on us
>We're fucking locked in
>our party slowly descends into the dark
>It fucking stinks in here, jesus fuck
>we continue further into the dark, until we all come a large doorway
>There's a weird thick white fog wall covering the entry
>Weird, but whatever
>We all step through, one at a time
>Come into a large open area, completely lit with braziers and hanging skulls
>there's also a fuckton of bones, like, piles everywhere
>All of the sudden, the bones start rattling
>the bones shoot towards the middle of the room, and start stacking upon each other
>they all knit together, forming one giant fuckoff skeleton
>Its massive, nearly 20 feet tall
>It reaches over and pulls up a giant gleaming trumpet
>"FUCK OFF SKINFAGS!"
>before we can react, we're sent backwards by the soundwave of the massive doot
>Ulysses and I crash through the stone bricks, Altsoba and Valentine following close behind
>We fall into the dark cavernous abyss below

>End up falling for a long amount of time
>Feel my legs hit something hard and sloped
>slide down a hard metal slope, twisting and turning
>get flung through the forest through a giant metal tube, smacking against twigs and branches along the way
>land in a pile of mattresses while the others land on top of me
>WAS THAT IT?! WE PAID 60 BUCKS FOR THAT?!

Happy late halloween kids, im drunk as fuck
I'll be updating hopefully more frequently
shit's been going wack over here, but I'm still trying