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a guest Dec 11th, 2019 106 Never
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  1. Generating story...
  2. You are Sam Spade Elliot, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and
  3.  a police badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching
  4.  for fled to. Suddenly, you hear a gunshot behind you.
  5. "Sam?" says a voice from behind you.
  6. > say "Who wants to know?"
  7. "Who wants to know?" you ask. The man looks at you with suspicion. He's wearing
  8.  a trench coat and has a gun in his hand.
  9. "I'm not going to shoot you," he says.
  10. > trade guns with man
  11. "What do you want?" you ask.
  12. "We don't have time for this," the man replies. He points his gun at you. "If
  13.  I didn't have a gun, you'd be dead".
  14. > say "Drop the gun and let's settle this like Men Detectives."
  15. The man drops his gun and raises his hands. "Let's settle this like men detectives,"
  16.  he says. He takes your gun from its holster and puts it on the table. "So what
  17.  is your name?" he asks.
  18. > say "My name is Sam Spade Elliot." Punch him.
  19. "Sam Spade Elliot". He punches you. You fall backwards onto the floor. "That
  20.  was easy," he laughs. "Now tell me who you are".
  21. > say "Stop stealing all my moves."
  22. He stops punching you. "Stop stealing all my moves!" he shouts. "I can do anything
  23.  I want to you! You're nothing but a thief!"
  24. > admit that he's a better and more hardboiled private eye.
  25. "I'm a better and more hardboiled private eye than you are," you reply. "But
  26.  I've got a lot of work to do, so if you'll excuse me, I need to go get some
  27.  work done".
  28. > do work
  29. You walk out of the room. "Well, that went well," you think as you leave. "Maybe
  30.  I should just take this job".
  31. A few days later, you return to the office. It's dark outside, but you can see
  32.  the moon through the window
  33. > arrest the moon
  34. You grab the moon by the neck and lift it up into the air. You then drop it back
  35.  down to earth. You catch the moon by the throat and throw it against the wall.
  36.  "There!" you shout.
  37. > say "Here's a pizza pie for you, buster." Punch moon in eye.
  38. You punch the moon in the face. It falls backwards off the desk. You pick it
  39.  up and toss it again. It hits the ground and breaks. You run out of the room.
  40.  "See? Easy," you think as you leave
  41. > search streets of this rough city for dames who are trouble and crooks up to no good
  42. You head down the street. You pass a group of three women talking together. They
  43.  look like they're having an argument. One of them is holding a knife in her
  44.  other hand. Another one is looking over her shoulder. You decide to investigate
  45.  further
  46. > investigate knife
  47. You stand behind one of the women and examine the woman's wristwatch. It shows
  48.  she's been arguing with another woman for about twenty minutes. She's probably
  49.  the one with the knife. You decide to check it out.
  50. > ask to borrow knife
  51. You approach the two women. One of them turns around to give you a dirty look.
  52.  "Don't touch me," she whispers. You smile and raise your arm towards her. She
  53.  grabs your wrist and pulls your arm away. "Get out of here," she snarls
  54. > "Do you know who I am, doll face? I'm Sam Spade Elliot, moon murderer."
  55.  The woman looks at you with suspicion. She's wearing a trenchcoat and has a
  56.  gun in her hand. "I'm not going to shoot you," she says. "If I didn't have a
  57.  gun, you'd be dead".
  58. > say "That'll teach her to respect a dick's personal space. You okay, tomato?"
  59. You push the woman aside and start walking after the woman. "That'll teach her
  60.  to respect a ****'s personal space. You okay, tomato?" you call after her. "Yeah,
  61.  yeah, fine," she replies. You follow her
  62. > ask where we're going
  63. You stop and ask where you're going. "To the police station," she replies. "Where
  64.  are we going?"
  65. > "Good idea. That's where they keep all the crimes."
  66.  "What kind of crimes?" "Any kind". "Okay, I guess".
  67. > ask woman where she learned her detective powers
  68. "I learned them from watching movies and TV," she says. "They were always there,
  69.  but I couldn't see them until recently".
  70. > go to police station
  71. You enter the police station. There are several people sitting at desks working
  72.  on their computers. A young policewoman walks in. "Hey, how are you doing?"
  73.  she asks. "Fine,""It's me," You reply
  74. > ask if any crimes have come in for me
  75. >"I'm sorry, sir,"The police station is full of"The police station is full.
  76. This is a crime free"The police station is full.The police station is full.The
  77.  police station is full.The police station is full
  78. > fall to my knees and weep for there were no more crimes to solve
  79. AboutWhenThis"A"C"M"S"The police[The police(The policeIn""The policeThe policeThe
  80.  police"The".H"Th
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