API tools faq
paste
Advertisement
Sera13

[A4A]Things I don't want to hear my surgeon say [Humour]

Sera13
Sep 17th, 2014
301
0
Never
Add comment
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 2.93 KB | None | 0 0
raw download clone embed print report
  1. “Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.”
  2.  
  3. “Someone call the janitor and tell him to bring a mop.”
  4.  
  5. “Wait a minute. If this is her spleen, what's that?”
  6.  
  7. “Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie.”
  8.  
  9. “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”
  10.  
  11. “Damn, there go the lights again...”
  12.  
  13. “Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the girls's got two of 'em.”
  14.  
  15. “Stand back! I lost a contact.”
  16.  
  17. “Could you stop that thing from beeping? It's throwing off my concentration!”
  18.  
  19. “What's this doing here?”
  20.  
  21. “That's cool! Now can you make her leg twitch?!”
  22.  
  23. “I should have brought my glasses.”
  24.  
  25. “Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”
  26.  
  27. “Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's pretty clean, right?”
  28.  
  29. “Anyone see where I left that scalpel?”
  30.  
  31. “Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?”
  32.  
  33. “Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough.”
  34.  
  35. “Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”
  36.  
  37. “Oh, no! Anybody seen my Rolex?”
  38.  
  39. “I hate it when there's stuff missing.”
  40.  
  41. “What do you mean she wasn't in for a sex change?!”
  42.  
  43. “And now, I'll remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.”
  44.  
  45. “"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"”
  46.  
  47. “Oops.”
  48.  
  49. “Let me ask your opinion, nurse...”
  50.  
  51. “I thought we started with four clamps?”
  52.  
  53. “Has anyone ever seen one of these?”
  54.  
  55. “What do you mean, it's upside down?”
  56.  
  57. “Oh, man! I think I'm gonna be sick.”
  58.  
  59. “You think we can sew it back on?”
  60.  
  61. “Put on Dr. Kevorkian's new CD.”
  62.  
  63. “Is that supposed to be yellow?”
  64.  
  65. “I learned that when I studied to be a vet.”
  66.  
  67. “Not bad for someone who failed med school.”
  68.  
  69. “Whoa. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so drunk last night.”
  70.  
  71. “Does Tab A go into Slot C or Slot F?”
  72.  
  73. “They never let us practice on real people in med school.”
  74.  
  75. “Don't worry, she'll never know. She's out!”
  76.  
  77. “Okay, make a wish and pull.”
  78.  
  79. “So that's what a girl looks like!”
  80.  
  81. “Back in a minute. Gotta put more money in the meter.”
  82.  
  83. “What she doesn't know won't hurt us.”
  84.  
  85. “Who ordered the pepperoni?”
  86.  
  87. “Tilt that TV this way. I can't see the game.”
  88.  
  89. “The voices in my head keep telling me not to do this.”
  90.  
  91. “Oh, yeah? If you think you're so good, you do it!”
  92.  
  93. “CLEAR!!”
  94.  
  95. Don’t worry, I’ll remember how to do it...OK...think back to that episode of ER...
  96.  
  97. Organ fight!
  98.  
  99. SHIT!!! OK...nobody panic, we can fix this easily, we'll just need a slight change of plans. OK...I'll call Vinnie; John, you hide the body in the waste bin...
  100.  
  101. wouldn’t this be a great setting for a porno movie?
  102.  
  103. Heehee – that was a good one. Here try this...just give her brain a poke...riiight...there...
  104.  
  105. OOOH...this is a GREAT opportunity to re-enact that scene from "Silence of the Lambs"...
  106.  
  107. Don't worry, ain't nothin' a little duct tape won't cure...
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement
Public Pastes
Advertisement
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy.  OK, I Understand
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!