Dadonequus Discord Part 276

Erf1111 Nov 29th, 2016 (edited) 225 Never
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  1. >You walk with Discord through the city. You could tell he was pretty pissed, stomping around as he complained. "Ohhh!" He raises his arms in anger "That Princess Celestia! How did she figure out my plan? How could she be so malicious as to use Fluttershy against me?! The nerve of her!"
  2. >You just followed along behind him as he angrily complained. Most of the Crystal Ponies were staying away from him. Some others just gazed at him in wonderment.
  3. >"How am I supposed to tease them when Fluttershy is in the mix? There must be a way to get under their skin without hurting Fluttershy, there simply must be!" Discord growls as he slams his talon'd fist into his paw.
  4. >He was pretty pissed alright. But, you had to wonder why. Maybe it was the fact that Fluttershy was there at all that shook him. Because in the grand scheme of things. It shouldn't matter.
  5. "Hey Discord, I think you might be blowing this out of proportion."
  6. >Discord stops and turns to you, he actually seemed interested in what you had to say "Am i? Tell me Anon, please, tell me." Though, he was also sounding pretty sarcastic "How are we supposed to pull this off without upsetting Fluttershy? What grand master scheme do you propose we hatch that would let us bypass this little problem, hmm?"
  7. >It was discomforting for Discord to have this tone with you. But, you felt you were right on this. Hell, he was right before any of this. Even if Fluttershy is here, she can't get mad if you both don't do anything wrong.
  8. "Well, I don't think we need to bypass it. Heck, I don't think Celestia even knew what we were doing. I mean, if we're not doing anything bad, then why will Fluttershy get upset at us? If anything, she'd get upset at any of the princesses who think we were up to no good. Especially since we really aren't other than to annoy them. That's how I see it anyway"
  10. >Discord rolls his eyes "Oh? Is that it? Is that all you have to....." Then he stops, and starts tapping his finger in the air as the realization hits him "....hrmm, Anon. You're right. Aren't you? Fluttershy ALWAYS gets mad at me whenever I have a "misunderstanding" or just act out just a little." Discord chuckles evilly "But what if they were the one to react like I have. Ohohoho, Anon. The day just got better. In fact!" Discord snaps his talons, making some sort of snackbar appear in front of you "You deserve a delicious treat, you must be hungry after all" He then claps in congratulations to your thoughts "And good job by the way, you have no idea how happy you've made me just now. And here I thought we would have to cancel everything."
  11. >You look at the floating snack bar, tap it, then take it. It had a very familiar fragrance.
  12. "Pizza?"
  13. >Discord nods "Well, yes. You do like Pizza don't you?"
  14. "Yer dang right I do, thanks Discord."
  15. >You start munching on the snack bar and you smile at Discord, feeling pretty good about helping out of something so simple.
  16. "And see? We can still do what we want to do we do first?"
  17. >"I suppose we should...hmmm" Discord looks around and notices the Spike statue not too far off in the distance. Around the statue seemed to be a tour group of various ponies being taught about the heroism of "Spike the Great".
  18. >"Ahh, I suppose we should just do what the crystal ponies do and learn about idiotic nonsense."
  19. >You munch on your bar as Discord casually walks over to the tour group. You follow along, savoring every bite of this thing. It was better than a fucking hot pocket.
  20. "You're right about the nonsense stuff. If Shining didn't toss Cadence like a football, everypony would have been obliterated by now..or something. But yo, Discord. You don't think these ponies are gonna get uncomfortable with you there right? They've been mostly staying away from us"
  22. >"Oh please Anon, I'm the father of the great "Hero Colt" and friend to the princesses. Why would they be uncomfortable around me?" Discord says with an arrogant smirk.
  23. "Uhhh, probably because they aren't as used to you as the ponies of Ponyville are and the very last time they would remember you was when you went on that tirade with Tirek"
  24. >Discord stops, right before reaching the tour crowd. "Hmmm.." Luckily, they hadn't noticed him yet. Giving Discord ample enough time to change himself into a pony "I suppose that might be right. The less trouble we stir, the better. Now come Anon, let us bask in the normality of boring"
  25. "Right behind you buddy"
  26. >You and Discord join the crowd as some old crystal pony stands next to the statue, explaining it's importance. The crystal pony had very little mane left, and his tail was scraggly and shaky. But for what it's worth, he was up there and doing his best. He had a painting for a cutie mark. "...And so, using his mighty abilities of flight, which he never displayed again for reasons unknown, Spike, the brave and glorious managed to plunge the Crystal Heart into the very being of the evil King Sombra. Obliterating him and ending our many many moons of suffering. And that is why everyday we thank our savior by remembering his heroic deeds and wonderful personality. For, aside from the princesses of course, there is no other pony as great as he is."
  27. >The ponies within the group started to clap and smash their hooves on the ground in celebration of Spike.
  28. >"Isn't he just the greatest?!"
  29. >"I wish I could meet him, he must be the most interesting hero in the whole world!"
  30. >"And he gets to hang out with Princess Twilight all day, truly his importance is legendary if it garners that much attention from royalty!"
  31. >"Praise Spike, the brave and glorious!"
  32. >Both you and Discord were cringing at this.
  33. >Yeah..Spike...brave..glorious....egh. You've done better.
  35. >"And that ends the tour, thank you all for attending and of course giving praise to the Crystal Empire's greatest hero. I'm going to go rest my hip now..." The tour pony bows out, thanking everyone for their time again before going.
  36. >You could hear the praises coming from the other ponies. Totally enthralled by even the statue of Spike. You and Discord weren't impressed.
  37. >"I suppose if you like a second cl-" Discord goes to mock Spike straight out, but you react from surprise and slam your hoof into his mouth.
  38. >"Mmhmph?!" Discord backs off and whispers angrily "What was that for?"
  39. >You whisper back
  40. "We have to play it cool remember? Trust me, these ponies seem pretty fanatical. It could mean a problem for both of us if you insult Spike like that"
  41. >Discord grumbles, and looks away. "Fine, but he is second rate. He's not like you Anon, you saved an entire world. If we could go public with what you're doing with Chryssie, they'd erect a humongous statue of you for being the one to reform the changelings."
  42. >...woah. Even if he was annoyed. That was a big honor coming from him.
  43. "R-really? You think so?"
  44. >Discord nods "of course, with a bigger statue of me right behind it so ponies are reminded that it was all thanks to me that you're even here" Discord chuckles lightly to himself, then starts to speak loudly, enamored by his own words "The brave hero colt Anon! That's what the statue would say...of yours I mean. Mine wouldn't need words, the statue of me would be all anypony needed."
  45. >However, Discord's outburst catches the attention of two...rather cute and beautiful crystal mares. Both young. one was yellow with a long long blond mane and a very full and flowy tail. The other was Purple, with a short, spikey dykish mane, with freckles that shined in the light. Her tail was rather short.
  46. >The blonde one looked down to you. And recognized you from the newspaper "Hero colt? Oh, hey!" She had a rather perky personality "You ARE the hero colt! Aren't you?"
  48. >"Woah, gosh, hey Gold Dust, look, it's the Hero Colt kid! Right here in the Crystal Empire" The dykish one had a bit of a sort of "dumbness" in her voice. a cute ignorance about her.
  49. >"I know Clean sweep, I know. I guess he was scoping out our very own hero to pick up on a few secrets. Sorry honey, it's just a statue, you'd have to see the real Spike to learn his moves."
  51. "Ahrm, well girls. I mean. I think I'm fine in the heroing department. Remember, I stopped a bunch of crazy dangerous griffon bandits during Nightmare Night. And before that some really dangerous foalnappers. There's a reason they call me the hero colt. Plus, I do know Spike afterall. I get to hang out with all the royalty. That's how cool I am"
  52. >You snicker arrogantly and flash your horn at them
  53. "See? This horn make look scary to you all. But I got it under control and it lets me put a stop to all the badguys. So yeah, I'd say I'm pretty good."
  54. >You saved an entire world. Even if you couldn't say it. You were now worthy of the title of "Hero Colt". And dammit, they should realize it.
  55. >The perky one, "Gold Dust", suddenly looked at you with big amazed eyes...finally "Woah woah woah, are you saying you get to hang out with THE princesses? You're that big of a hero?"
  56. >You nod as you smirk
  57. "Yeeeep"
  58. >"Gosh," Clean Sweep was amazed "That is a pretty big hero, oh hey, Gold Dust. Whatcha think about that?"
  59. >"What do I think?" Gold Dust starts to get super excited "I think I should ask this question! Soo, umm..Hey...Anon. We have heard of you..we really have" She gives you big dreamy eyes, enough to make your heart skip a beat "Do you think...we could get an autograph?"
  61. >Something about this felt wrong. Yet right..yet wrong. Before, maybe you would have tried to get into her nonexistant pants. But, the lewd thoughts you were now thinking felt wrong. Due to..Diamond Tiara. Still, the other feeling you were feeling. "Pride"...was overwhelming. They wanted your autograph. Which meant they understood how important you were.
  62. "Of course, I can get one for the both of you. Just get me something to write with and tell me what you want written and we'll be golden"
  63. >"Cool, cool!" Gold Dust says, getting even more excited. " if you get to hang out with the princesses then that means you hang out with our hero Spike. So all you need to do is ask him if we could get his autograph and you can mail it to us." Gold Dust then produces a paper and pencil and quickly jots down her address and holds it towards you "Just have him mail it here, please and thank you"
  64. >You turn near white from shock from that. After all that....After all that...AFTER ALL THAT! THEY WANTED HIS AUTOGRAPH?!
  65. > know what? Fine, he was a were you. Just...
  66. "...A-are you sure you also wouldn't want my autograph too? It might be worth something"
  67. >"Their gone Anon" You hear Discord from behind you.
  68. >When you look up from your disillusioned state. You notice the mares were already gone. The only thing left was the paper with their address on it.
  69. "....."
  70. >Discord changes back and gently grabs you and puts you over his shoulder, rubbing your back as gently as he can. He wasn't even acting condescending towards you. "I'm sorry Anon, but your exploits here don't beat out the apparent defeat of a evil monster like Sombra. What's gotten into you anyway? I thought you hated the blatant hero worship."
  71. "..I....did. But, I guess after you ACTUALLY save the world using your wits and know how and stuff. Y'know..suddenly you want a little recognition."
  73. >"Hrnn, I suppose I can understand that a little" Discord puts you down and pats your head "Nopony seems to truly realize the genius behind chaos after all"
  74. >...mnn. You were about to mention that he's a bit of a jerk in that regard. But he was being rather sincere. And really? He was kind of right. Even if he did do something really neat. A lot of the ponies may hate it because it's all loopy and chaosy.
  75. "Well, I appreciate it Discord. I think chaos is really neat..and..wait. What about that thing with Filthy Rich? I think you were talking to him about setting something up"
  76. >Discord shakes his head as he starts to walk forward aimlessly. "It's a corporate thing Anon. It's not that he actually appreciates it. It's just to further his business and expand upon just "Barnyard Bargains". Though, I have to hand it to him. The animal shelter donations was both kind and coincidental of him, something I simply couldn't pass up when it came to making Fluttershy happy. Did you know he was going to ask Princess Celestia for her permission on a ride themed on her?" Discord scoffed "How utterly ridiculous. It would be oh sooooooo boring. I'll have to make sure to rub it in Celestia's face when I tell her that I got chosen over her for a, what I'd hope, to be a very fun ride based off yours truly" Discord was already lightening up as he thought about it.
  77. >Of course, he made the conversation about himself. It was fine though. You didn't want to focus too much on what happened anyway.
  78. "Heh, small victories wherever you go huh Discord? Hey, I got a question. Is it possible that we can sneak a peak on that baby? I kind of want to know what it looks like"
  79. >Discord shook his head "Absolutely not, we must stick to the plan and....wait"
  80. >Discord noticed Twilight hasn't spazzed yet "You know, I haven't seen Twilight yet. I wonder where she might be."
  81. >You shrug
  83. "It's still early, and babies are supposed to be cute. Just give it some time. We just need to go and find something else to do."
  84. >"I suppose, but what? This place doesn't have much going for it other than being all crystally, I really thought the "Crystal Empire" emphasis on...EMPIRE..would have more to do" Discord looks around, he wasn't wrong. even the buildings were crystal like in nature.
  85. "Don't they have a stadium around here? Let's go check that out"
  86. >"Doesn't seem like too good of a suggestion. But at least it's something. Hopefully they have some poor sap being fed to a chimera" Discord started walking with you towards the stadium..but that crack.
  87. "Was that towards me?"
  88. >You make a scrunchy annoyed face at him?
  89. "Hmm? no. Just remembering the good old days." Discord chuckles "Are you feeling better Anon? Not too bothered with the whole "Hero" thing?"
  90. >You'll live. You still had Diamond's admiration. In fact, when you thought about it. It really helped make you feel better,
  91. "It'll be fine...sorta...brrr...Did it get a little cold all of a sudden?"
  92. >"I don't notice anything. Buuuut" Discord snaps his talon. Making a warm and snuggly scarf appear around your neck. "We're still way up in the north. So it's possible it's gotten a little chilly. Oh!" Discord snaps his talons again. making your saddlebag appear. it was very square this time. something in the bag?
  93. >"I put some rotten fruit inside your bag in case whatever game or event we'll be seeing is terrible." Discord makes a rotten tomato appear on his paw and bounces it for a bit "We are rather big time, aren't we? Either we get a good show or we rain down rotten justice"
  94. >That makes you snicker.
  95. "Yeah...hey Discord. Thanks, you're being pretty cool today."
  96. >Discord gives you a smug smirk as he rubs his chest triumphantly. "Anon...I'm ALWAYS cool. Don't ever forget it"
  98. >You both arrive at the entrance of the stadium. It was pretty damn big, about as big as a football stadium. But with ponies being as little as they are. You were surprised such a huge complex was even needed.
  99. >But the entrance itself was empty, aside from a young janitor unicorn who was sweeping out the front.
  100. >Discord approached him , not seeing any ticket sellers, and asked him why the whole place seemed empty. This of course. Startled the young janitor.
  101. >"U-uhhmm.." The janitor steps back "A-are you really Discord?"
  102. >Discord sighs and crosses his harms trying to be nice and patient. "Yes, but that doesn't exactly answer my question. Why does the stadium seem so empty today? What, did everypony just decide combat and chaos between gladiators is suddenly boring all at once?"
  103. >"U-uhmmm" The janitor was sweating in his presence "N-no, we don't even have those kinds of games anymore. B-but to answer your question. Today is the Crystalling. So not a lot of places are open today. And if they are, it won't be for long. It's a very rare and important event."
  104. >"....So what you're telling me is that I have nothing to throw my rotten food at?" Discord leans in and brings his face, looking absolutly scaringly stoic "Is that it?"
  105. >The janitor gulped "U-ummm.....I guess?"
  106. >Discord leans back and turns. Stepping past you as he goes to do something else "Come on Anon, there's nothing more for us here"
  107. >You looked at the janitor with a little pity. But, Discord didn't do anything to him so it wasn't that bad. No guilt really.
  108. >You follow along behind Discord. What else was there to do then? The Crystal Empire seemed...pretty boring.
  109. "What are we going to do Discord? We still have a crapload of time to waste and everypony seems to be gearing up for this crystalling thing"
  111. >"Well, we wouldn't have time to waste if Twilight or Luna or even Celestia showed up ranting and raving about us doing something terrible. I just don't understand it." Discord starts rubbing his chin, absolutly puzzled as he darts his eyes left and right for any sign of the princesses "No baby's "cuteness" can trump the power of doubt,fear, and chaos."
  112. "Umm, what if they are taking pictures? I'd imagine Fluttershy holding the baby and cuddling it would pretty much trump any kind of chaos in this world. Don't you think?"
  113. >Discord begrudgingly nodded to that."Yes, I suppose Fluttershy does have an innate talent in making things seem more adorable then they should. Perhaps, in that case, we need to step up our game."
  114. >Step up our game? That didn't sound good.
  115. "Uhh, how are we going to do that without causing any trouble?"
  116. >Discord holds his talons up and prepares to snap "Easy Anon" he snickers "We just have to create a commotion without the added positives of shrieks and screams."
  117. >Discord snaps his talons. Making a large booth appear. He gently picks you up and puts you on the booth as he stands behind it. Next to it was a sign that said "Sign up for FREE PHOTOS of the Crystalling, get the BEST snapshots from any angle thanks to the chaotic abilities of the spirit of chaos himself. Discord!. Shots of the baby so close, you could swear you could hold it yourself! Sign up sheets at the front of the booth"
  118. "What's all this? What are you doing?"
  119. >This seemed a little worrisome to you.
  120. >"Simple" Anon put a camera strap around his neck. a more modern looking camera attached to it. "We open a legitimate business that will quickly have the word spread. Somepony in the castle goes frantic, comes and checks,a nd they'll have nothing they can say to us because we aren't doing anything wrong."
  121. >Oh....well, never mind. that didn't seem so bad.
  123. "Oh, well. ok. I guess...well, actually. This seems like a pretty good idea. I'm sure there's a lot of ponies who'd want pictures of the baby taken. I mean, you would take those pictures right?"
  124. >"I suppose I could" Discord didn't seem like he'd really do it.
  125. "Uhmm..You'd be causing trouble if you did all this and didn't snap those pictures. Even if it's free Discord. your offering a servive. If you committed fraud, the princesses would have a good reason to get angry at you"
  126. >"Eggh..fine" Discord rolls his eyes as he looks forward, faking a smile "You make things so difficult sometimes Anon"
  127. >You shrug to that, you were just keeping to the plan.
  128. "Hey, I'm just saying. You want to do it right then you gotta commit and...woo..."
  129. >You shiver a little and sit down on the booth. Getting the scarf to curl around you as much as you could.
  130. "I hate the cold...."
  131. >"You just have to handle it for a little while longer Anon. Just a little longer. This, for sure, will be the perfect bait. Look" Discord points to a small crowd of Crystal ponies who have noticed the booth and reluctantly started to crowd around. "We are already getting our first customers!" Discord pulls out sign up sheets and puts them on the booth, smiling wider "Just be as cute and non-threatening as possible and we'll do fine"
  132. >You just sit there, brushing your mane back as you give a cute smile towards the crowd.
  134. >The gaggle of various crystal pnies showed up at the booth. Reading the sign and looking upon you and Discord with hesitation. Though, when they looked upon you. Their worries did seem to thin. Perhaps it was because they were gazing upon something "Cute and innocent".
  135. >"Is this sign true? Can you really get pictures of the new royal baby that close?"
  136. >"A-aren't you the one who was friends with Tirek?"
  137. >"Well, I know he was. But I've heard he's good now. Even has a hero of a son. That must be him"
  138. >"Oh yeah! I remember that colt. He was in the paper, the one who beat those thieving griffons. He's Discord's son? But he's so...cute"
  139. >"Well, if that's Discord's son then that's good enough for me. I want to sign up for this."
  140. >"Yeah me too, it's free right? How can you beat that?"
  141. >"Is it a limited offer? is there only so many ponies who can sign up? If that's the case then let me through, I need those pictures for my advertisements"
  142. >The crowd started to bustle as their fears left them, and their want for cute and close up baby pictures piqued.
  143. >"Now now everypony, calm down. I am the spirit of chaos after all. And chaos is in limitless quantity. Meaning everypony who signs will get a copy of the pictures. All I ask of you is to tell your riends, family, neighbors, even your bitter enemies. Spread it all across the city, make sure no ear is left deaf to the sound of the purity of new born foals" Discord was genuinely happy now. Even if he had to commit to taking the pictures, the crystal ponies overcame their worry for the chance of the best pictures anypony could ever get of this new baby.
  144. >Though, as this went on. You noticed it getting darker and coler. Was it night time already?
  145. >No it couldn't be. It was still early in the day.. You look up, and see clouds forming in the sky. Very dark and nasty looking cloud.
  147. "...Uhhh..."
  148. >You hop off the counter of the booth and give Discord a small shake
  149. "Hey, Discord....are the clouds supposed to be doing that?"
  150. >"Anon" Discord gives you a little shake to remove your hoof. "Can't you hold on? I'm busy giving out forms." Discord looks to the crowd as he points to a dropbox. "Just put your forms in here so I can have the pictures sent to their appropriate places. No need to rush, with my powers, there is no chance that that nopony will be left without a set of these must have pictures" Discord smirks as he looks around, thinking that soon the crowd would leave as new ponies would show up and the word would spread to the castle.
  151. >But as the crowd began to disperse to seek out other ponies to tell. snow started to fall, it was gentle at first. but with each passing moment it seemed to get subtly harder.
  152. "Discord, It's snowing. And those clouds. It looks like their's gonna be a terrible storm soon..I dunno. Something about it seems unnatural"
  153. >Discord didn't seem to pay it no mind however. He immediately dismissed it. "It's normal Anon, relax. It's probably just something some pegasi on duty cooked up. A little snow to set the mood. Remember, things work differently than they do in your world. The princesses aren't going to allow some storm to spoil their little event."
  154. >Ohhh...right. That's right. Pegasi do have the job of handling storms and rain and shit. How could you forget? Probably just a rush to get things a little snowy for dramatic effect..or something.
  155. >in fact, as you looked around. Some of the foals started to gather around to make snowponies and lob snowballs at eachother.
  156. "I guess, woo.."
  157. >You wiped your brow in relief
  158. "Almost thought something bad was gonna happen. Hey, here comes more ponies."
  160. >You point to a smaller crowd coming to the booth. All seemingly eager to sign forms to get those pictures.
  161. >"Oh Anon, soon..oh so very soon. Those princesses will crack under the pressure" Discord snickered, "it's only a matter of time."
  162. "I just want to see if Celestia cracks. I dunno, she kinda rubbed me the wrong way back there"
  163. >"Hrn? Oh really? interesting. In what way did she rub you wrong." Discord pulls out a doll of you and holds it close to you "Point to where the big bad princess touched you"
  164. >That actually lightened the mood for you. You giggle as you push the doll away.
  165. "c'mon Discord. That's too much. But yeah, I dunno. She seemed like..super knew everything. I dunno, I don't like it. I kinda want to see her knocked down a peg"
  166. >Discord let's out a happy "Ha!" type of laugh as he pats your head proudly "That's my Anon. That's exactly what you should be thinking. It's obvious she's being too arrogant for her own good. If anything, we'll be doing her a service in humility with this little fiasco"
  167. "I guess, yeah.."
  168. >Maybe she did need that. You felt, that unlike the Flim Flam Future Celestia. That maybe...just maybe...Celestia was getting too comfy always being on top of you and Discord in the end. As you remembered, if you had the horn during the Chimera incident. You would have totally destroyed that thing. Celestia's fault for sure.
  169. >And as you thought of this. A snowball smashes into your face. Knocking you back.
  170. "W-what the! Hey! Who threw that?!"
  171. >You look over to a bunch of giggling colts and fillies. Some nestled into small snow forts.
  173. >"Hey! You're the hero colt from Ponyville right? Why don't you come play with us?"
  174. >"Hmm, is he the hero colt? I would have thought he would have been able to dodge that snowball"
  175. >"No no, that's Spike, the brave and glorious."
  176. >"Oh right, only he could actually dodge a snowball. He's so cool, if only I could get his autograph...and maybe a scale. So I could be at least somewhat cool like him"
  177. >And goddammit...Fucking Spike. Even the foals here looked up to him as if he was some sort of ACTUAL hero. Well fine, you will play. You were sure you could win a simple snowball game.
  178. "Alright alright, I'll play. Just remember though. I'm a bonafide hero. The real deal, and you won't be able to land another-"
  179. >as you point to yourself proudly, another snowball smacks you in the face.
  180. >The foals just giggle as your face is revealed to be pretty anooyed as the snow slowly drops down to the ground.
  181. "Ok..that's it! Prepar-"
  182. >And another snowball hits your face, followed by more giggling.
  183. >DAMMIT!
  184. >You wipe off the snow from your face this time. And was now determined to show them the true power of the hero colt.
  185. "That's it! You're all going down now!"
  186. >"wow, he talks a lot huh?"
  187. >"Is he really the hero colt?"
  188. >"Well, he is with that weird Discord guy. It's gotta be him"
  189. >"I mean, yeah. But uhm...Maybe he just got really lucky at doing all that hero stuff."
  190. >"Check out that horn, it really does look like Sombra's. Why would you ever want to have something like that around your neck?"
  191. >"Dunno, weird huh?"
  192. >"Whatever..Hey, Hero Colt. Come on! Try to at least hit one of us!"
  193. "One of you? hehehe"
  194. >You slap your horn right on your head.
  195. "How about...all of you! GET READY FOR THIS!"
  197. >You use your magic to create a rather large snowball type machinegun attachment on your back. Controlled with a switch attached to your leg.
  198. >The foals freak out at the magic you cast. Even moreso by what was attached on your back. It was half your size, blue, and looked like some sort of cannon.
  199. >"W-woah! He must really be the hero colt. He's got that horn. it really does have weird magic in it!"
  200. >"What is that thing?!"
  201. >"It looks like some sort of..I dunno"
  202. >You snicker as you prepare to fire.
  203. "This? This thing is called the "Snowgun". It shoots thirty snowballs a second. Plenty of time to knockdown each and every one-"
  204. >You get pelted with snowballs....from every single once.
  205. >The force from their snowballs is enough to knock you onto your back. Immediately dislodging and knocking off the cannon and causing it to flip forward, making the barrel aim for your face. As it smacks into the ground. It starts firing straight into your ass, making you slide a few inches forward as a mound of snow protrudes from your asshole. Causing the foals to laugh out loud.
  206. >"W-woah! That's hilarious!"
  207. >"Is he a hero colt or a clown colt? I Can't tell"
  208. >"It's kinda cute actually. I'd want him to perform at my birthday party."
  209. >You shiver and groan. You couldn't even move, who knew snow could hurt so much? And it's coldness was burning you ass.
  210. >But as you began to finally slowly pull yourself up. The foals start to get a little anxious. The snow was starting to come down a little too hard.
  211. >"Uh oh...I think their's gonna be a storm"
  212. >"A storm? Today? Ahh shoot, what about the Crystalling?"
  213. >"I dunno, the adults probably are still gonna do it. I think, besides, nopony would let it get too bad."
  214. >"Still, it's getting kinda cold. I wanna go home and warm up for later."
  215. >"Awww, I guess..we barely got to play though"
  216. >"I'm good, watching that hero colt kid be a weirdo was pretty funny. Come on, we can go play board games at my house until the Crystalling happens."
  218. >And with that, as you slowly pulled yourself up. You could see the foals leaving. Shivering from the cold, you shake your fist at them and say in a chilled voice, chilled enough to barely be heard.
  219. "T-t-that's r-r-r-right. Y-y-you better r-r-r-r-run!"
  220. > were rubbing your ass as you stood. It was getting colder by the minute. And your ass had to be near zero from that cold assault. Hell, as you looked up. The storm was getting even worse. It seemed to even be affecting Discord's "business" as the lines thinned. Many ponies opting to just go home now to wait for the Crystalling to begin.
  221. >But felt...something couldn't be right. Those clouds....they were getting pretty damn bad.
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