Apocolypse Anon and Flash Sentry

Jul 9th, 2014
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  1. >You and Flash are sitting on logs, the fire being the only thing lighting the night
  2. >Your name is Anonymous, and you've been grouped with Mr. Sentry to watch for the night
  3. >Somebody had to be with this fucker
  4. >And sadly, that somebody had to be you
  5. >Earlier in the day, everybody had to choose a partner to watch in the night
  6. >Fluttershy could attack at any given moment, with Discord on her side
  7. >So we had to be prepared incase it happened
  8. >Every Anon had either chose another Anon, or a Trip
  9. >God you hated Trips
  10. >Trips were either from Ponychan or /mlp/, honestly nobody could tell them apart
  11. >Very few Trips went with Anons, but you had to feel sorry for the ones that did
  12. >EqD's, or as you call them, QDs, went with mostly themselves, only a couple going with Anons
  13. >Again, you feel sorry for them
  14. >All the ledditors died early on, and only, what, two Tumblrites are still here?
  15. >One is a lady feminist, the other is a man feminist
  16. >Lucky for them, huh?
  17. >No, not at all. The lady-feminist hates the man-feminist, just because he's a man
  18. >Man-feminist hates himself, too, often agreeing with lady-feminist
  19. >You can never help but laugh at them
  20. >But, anyway, Tumblrites grouped with theirselves, Anons with Anons, Trips with Trips, QDs with QDs, yada yada
  21. >And only three lucky ones went with ponies
  22. >A Trip, an Anon, and a QD
  23. >QD went with AJ, Trip went with Lyra, and you ended up with /him/
  24. >Fucking, Flash Sentry
  25. >God you hate this prick
  26. >Even in real life, he's horrid
  27. >He's about as Gary-Stu as Sombra
  28. >The GOOD Sombra, that is
  29. >He's also the leader of the pack
  30. >And he will NOT let you forget that
  31. >"C'mon guys, I'm your leader! You need to do what I say!"
  32. >"Well, that's what leaders are for, right?"
  33. >"Only a leader would be able to do this!"
  34. >"Follow the leader, you guys!"
  35. >God, he's so irritable
  36. >And you have to keep watch with him
  37. >And since most of the humans didn't survive, every night you have to be with this fucker
  38. >At least you picked to be first watch, forcing Flash to pick the same option
  39. >Y'know, get it over with
  40. >...Too bad it's taking forever for this fucking hour to finish
  41. >Shifts are an hour to an hour and thirty minutes, if the watchers heard something
  42. >Usually any rustling in the bushes are just squirrels and such, nothing too serious happens
  43. >Nothing too serious ever happens
  44. >Discord and Fluttershy are too much of pansies to ever send their army at us-
  45. "OW!"
  46. >Sentry lifts his head up and gets into a fighting stance, a spear in his left wing
  47. >"Anon! Are you okay?"
  48. "I'm fine, Sentry. Go back to bed. A flame-spark hit my leg, is all."
  49. >He isn't contempt with your answer, as he slowly approaches you, the spear still in his wing
  50. >"You know who would say that, Anon?"
  51. "Who, Sentry? Please, tell me who?"
  52. >Silence fills the night
  53. >...
  54. >"A... A.... A CHANGELING! HYAAAHH!"
  55. >...
  58. >"Sorry about that, Trip... I thought Anon was a changeling and-"
  60. "Trip, shut the fuck up. We know you're in pain, but you're going to attract the enemy to us if you keep yelling!"
  61. >The whiny bastard puts a hand over his mouth, as you try to delicately pull the spear out of his shoulder
  62. >His thumb starts bleeding from biting on it too hard
  63. >Finally, you rip it right out of him, as his muffled screams fill the air
  64. >You can't help but try to surpress a chuckle, enjoying this bastard's pain
  65. >"Shhh... Shh.... It's okay, Trip. We'll get you all fixed up by the morning. Just try to relax and go to sleep, okay?"
  66. >There goes another one
  67. >It's a surprise that this Trip overhere didn't wake up the rest of them
  68. >Flash starts to work on getting Trip's shoulder and thumb fixed before he bleeds out to death
  69. >"I'm pretty sure there's a pegasus spell book around here somewhere..."
  70. >That's not a thing
  71. >At least, you think, anyway
  72. >Pegasi can't control magic, they're pegasi!
  73. >That's like if Applejack was actually useful past Season 3-
  74. >"Here it is!"
  75. >God damn it
  76. >Should've just let him bleed out to death
  77. >That would've been one less Trip in the world
  78. >Fuck
  80. >"Thanks, Flash. I'm sooooooooo glad that I was saved by you."
  81. >Sarcasm fills the voice of Trip, Flash just smiling all the way
  82. >"No problem, Trip! Anytime!"
  83. >Trip goes back to the sleeping bag he shares with another Trip, thankfully
  84. >You sit back on your log, and so does Flash, sighing
  85. >"Trips, am I right?"
  86. "Oh shut up. Don't try to make this more painful than it needs to be."
  87. >Sentry lowers his head, putting a hoof to his right cheek
  88. >Just a couple more minutes, Anon. You won't have to endure this anymore in just a couple more minutes
  89. >"Sooo..."
  90. >God fucking damn it, Sentry
  91. >"What did you say your wife was called? A wai... why-fah? A why-fu?"
  92. "Waifu, Sentry. It's called a waifu. And she's not a wife, she's someone who you WANT to be your wife."
  93. >"Oh! You mean someone like Twilight?"
  94. >You can only twitch your eye, while trying not to grit your teeth
  95. "Yes, someone like Twilight."
  96. >"Y'know, Twilight would be my perfect waifu. I mean, she's so beautiful, and amazing, and she's just the best."
  97. "Yeah. Tell me about it."
  98. >"Okay! She-"
  99. "I was being sarcastic, Sentry."
  100. >"Oh."
  101. >...
  102. >"So who's your waifu, Anon? We both know that my waifu would be Twilight Sparkle, as she's so great, so beautiful, so-"
  103. "Shut up."
  104. >"Hey, I'm just making conversation! So, who's your waifu, Anonymous?"
  105. "Twilight Sparkle."
  106. >"Oh..."
  107. >BEEEEEP!
  108. >Thank god
  109. >You quickly leave to your sleeping bag, quickly kicking the next watch out in line
  110. >"OW!"
  111. "You're up next, dude."
  112. >As you get into your sleeping bag, you can't help but chuckle at the poor Anon that has to go up with a Trip
  113. >That would be a funny sight, but, you're too tired to even watch
  114. >Yawning, you get all snuggled up in your comfy bag, and start to dose off...
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