H3Snark "More examples of Ethan and Hila being crappy dog owners" Transcript

1. Ethan feeds shredder a cheeto flavored chicken sandwich from KFC he describes as toxic

[0:03] Ethan: Cheetos...on a sandwich...

[0:07] Ethan: Dude! Look how greasy that is! I got three sandwiches, one for everybody. There's grease pooling at the bottom of the bag— look at  this! Don't consume this! This is poison! And of course, jsut because— if the sandwich, well let's see let's break this open.

[0:25] Ethan: (chewing into the mic)

[0:26] Dan: How is it? (laughs)

[0:29] Ethan: (gags) Oh my god...can you see the bottom of this? Can you see all the cheeto shit?

[0:39] Dan: (laughs) Yeah...

[0:42] Ethan: Never go to KFC, the food is disgusting, it will literally poison you and give you diarrhea...I don't like anything they do. Let's see if Shredder will even eat it. Shredder do you want this? I don't even think Shredder should eat this...

[0:54] Dan: Don't, don't give...(laughs) I wouldn't give that to Shredder.

[0:56] Ethan: He's a picky eater. Yeah, he ate it. I guess your dog will like it, that's the most I can say for it.



2. Alfredo throws up onions he found in the studio

[1:06] Ethan: Oh no! Shredder, what happened? Shredder puked.

[1:11] Dan: Aw.
       Hila: Oh no!

[1:12] Ethan: Did he eat something weird? He hasn't puked in a while. Or did it— was it Alfredo? Alfredo puked last night.

[1:20] Dan: Could have been the 'Fredo.

[1:21] Hila: We can smell his breath. I can tell by smelling his breath...Shreddy c'mere.

[1:27] Crew (from afar): Ew, don't! (sounds of disgust)
       Ethan (quietly, from afar): I need to know what he ate...

[1:28] Dan: What are you doing?

[1:29] Ethan (from afar): I need to know what he ate!

[1:31] Dan: Ethan's digging through the puke right now...he's going in raw, he's raw dogging it...

[1:32] Ethan: It looks like he ate an onion, which is poisonous to dogs.

[1:37] Hila: Oh no, I—

[1:38] Ethan: How did he— how did he get an onion?

[1:41] Cam: Are we sure it's an onion? Give it a taste.

[1:42] Ethan: Look at it!

[1:43] Hila: Oh no...that's really bad.

[1:45] Ethan: Yeah, it's really bad. I'm glad he puked it out. (To Shredder) Was that you?

[1:48] Hila: I don't know if it's him though 'cause he doesn't smell...pukey.

[1:51] Ethan (to Shredder): Do you smell like puke?

[1:52] Hila: Not really.

[1:54] Ethan (in confirmation): Not really!

[1:55] Hila: No.

[1:56] Ethan: So, so if it was Alfredo then I'm also concerned because that's the third time Alfredo's puked. I don't... (To Alfredo) Was it you, Freddy? Here, let's see. (To Crew) Is there puke on his lower jaw?

[2:03] Dan (lowering his voice, menacingly): I know it was you, 'Fredo...

[2:05] Crew: (Unintelligable)

[2:06] Ethan: Yes, please. Does that look like an onion to you?

[2:14] Hila (referencing Alfredo): I can't tell.

[2:15] Ethan (back to Alfredo): Oh! His jaw is wet, here.

[2:17] Hila: Oh, yes. Oh, no, Alfredo!

[2:20] Ethan:  Well actually I'm relieved it wasn't Shredder because Alfredo will be fine. (To Alfredo) Why [do] you keep puking though?

[2:25] Hila: Will he, though?

[2:27] Ethan: Well he— We did all the labs he's totally healthy.

[2:29] Hila: It's probably good that he puked it out.

[2:31] Ethan: It's just that small amount. I would only be worried if it was Shredder.

[2:33] Hila: Oh, okay.

[2:34] Ethan: Why are you licking his puke, Shredder!

[2:37] Hila: Maybe he's telling us. He's—

[2:38] Dan: He's a dog.

[2:39] Hila: —trying to tell you, like, "look! Over here!"

[2:42] Ethan: I wish I knew who puked. Let me see if Shredder's jaw is wet.

[2:46] Ethan: Dry.

[2:47] Hila: Yeah, I feel like I can immediately tell if it was Shredder.

[2:50] Ethan (to Alfredo): Alfredo, what happened to you? (To Crew) Thank you, Lena. But... Shredder's licking his lips.

[2:59] Dan: Yeah, he's hungry.

[3:01] Ethan: Mmm.



3. Ducky eats microphone foam

[3:05] Ethan: It wasn't that much. I—

[3:08] Jeff (Whittek): A hundred?

[3:09] Ethan: —mean, that's a lot of money, but for

[3:10] Jeff: I'll give you 25 right now. 25—

[3:11] Ethan: (laughs)

[3:12] Dan: Wow! Thats 100% profit.

[3:16] Jeff (to Ducky): You wanna come home with me, don't ya? Yeah.

[3:21] Ethan: I'll tell you what, if you take my dog I'm gonna have a proposition for Hila! "Will you hide this gun for me"!

[3:23] Jeff: (laughs) Here let's get rid of this...

[3:26] Ethan: I love him though, he's such a good boy.



4. Ducky chews on cords / cables in the studio

[3:35] Hila: Ducky is really trying to chew on some cables. (laughs)

[3:39] Ethan: Speaking of Vegas, we've got to plan our trip, guys.

[3:41] AB: Yeah.

[3:44] Ethan: Does anyone have an opinion about when that should take place? The exact date and the hotel they want us to—

[3:48] Dan: What are you doing tonight?