Fluffies Having Fluffies (Challenge No.03 winner)

impaler, December 1, 2012; 03:39 / FB 7140
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FLUFFIES HAVING FLUFFIES: an impaler joint
entry for the da cotton fluffies and fluffies contest.

> Be a fluffy pone.
> You live in a safe place you built with your special friend.
> She is a pink Pegasus named Constance
> You think she is very pretty.
> That’s why you made her your wifey.
> She would make such pretty babies, because she would be such a pretty momma.
> But she can’t make babies.
> She said her mommy had her “fixed.”
> You don’t know what that means, but she cries every time she says it.
> You think it’s strange, because if she was “fixed” then must mean
something was wrong and she’s better now.
> Her being better makes you happy.
> But she says it means she can’t have babies and cries into her hoovsies.
> You try and make her feel better with huggies.
> Huggies solve everything.
> She stops crying a little but still lies on her tummy staring at the ground.
> You need to make her feel better.
> Nummies also make everything better.
> You need to go find her nummies.
> “Stay hewe, fwuffy gu fin gud nummies fo’ wifey!”
> “Otay” is all she can sigh.
> You leave the den and start looking for nummies.
> There are grassies everywhere, but you want to find her better
nummies than that.
> Perhaps you can find her flowers or maybe even…Skettis!
> Although you’ve never found skettis before.
> You can’t find where they are hiding.
> You’ve looked everywhere.
> Meanie skettis.
> You walk around the grasses and into the “fowest.”
> There are lots of trees in the “fowest.”
> But they are starting to lose theirleaves.
> You don’t know why, but that makes you kind of sad.
> They must be so cold, and feel so silly.
> Maybe you should give them hugs to make them feel better.
> It sounds like a good idea to you, so you waddle over to the nearest tree.
> You’re about to give it hugs when you hear a noise.
> “EEEEE!”
> Where did that come from?!
> You look around but don’t see another fluffy anywhere.
> It sure sounded like a fluffy.
> Then you notice a leaf trying to walk away.
> Somehow it has little hoovsies.T
> This almost blows your mind.
> You snap out of near brain-shock and lift the leaf with your mouth.
> “Ai MUNSTA!” cries out a tiny voice.
> A Munsta! Where?
> You yell “Munsta!” and cover your eyes with your hoovsies.
> Nothing happens.
> All you hear is the wind.
> You move your weggies from your face and see two eyes staring at you.
> They are connected to another fluffy!
> But it’s a baby fluffy!
> It’s small and white.
> Really it’s too small.
> Maybe it’s a *shudder* dummy baby.
> That would explain why it is here alone.
> Its mother probably abandoned it here in the “fowest.”
> You’re about to ask the baby where it’s mother is when it speaks.
> “MUNSTA!”
> Again! Where is the munsta!? Better hide!
> Again your weggies cover your face.
> Nothing happens.
> Wind again.
> Your lift your weggies again to look for the bab-
> “MUNSTA!”
> Hide again! This munsta keeps coming from somewhere.
> My he’s a crafty one.
> But he must be gone again.
> You open uncover your eyes again and again the baby screams
> “MUNSTA!”
> Poopies, this munsta just won’t leave!
> Good thing you’re so good at hiding.
> But you have to get you and this baby out here before the munsta
eats you both!
> You get up and move forward to grab the baby.
> “MUNSTA!”
> Hide!
> Rinse and repeat two or eight more times.
> You can’t count past four anyway.
> But eventually you manage to sneak to the baby without the munsta
grabbing either of you and grab him!
> “EEEEEE! Hewp!”The munsta must be really close now! Better leg it!
> You run all the way back to your den.
> You were worried the munsta would follow you in.
> He must have been so close!
> The baby was making scaredy peepees and screaming the whole way.
> But luckily you were able to make back with the baby!
> You’re such a brave and smart fluffy.
> You put the baby on the ground and turn to your special friend.
> “Wuk wifey! Fwuffy bwing bahbeh!”
> “Bahbeh?” She asks cautiously and moves over to the little white
ball, hiding its eyes with its legs.
> Silly baby, I can still see you!
> Your special friend looks confused.
> “Why bahbeh smawl? Iz dummeh bahbeh?”
> She reaches down and sniffs the baby.
> “Nu smewl wike dummy baby.”
> Well, that’s a relief.
> Although it doesn’t smell pretty.
> After all, it is sitting in a pile of scaredy poopies.
> She reaches down again and licks the fluff on the baby’s back.
> The baby continues to shudder and hide itself.
> “Nu taste wike dummeh bahbeh. But nu taste wike gud bahbeh eithah.”
> Uh-oh.
> You gues the baby is not a baby.
> That would make it a…not baby!
> Glad you figured out what is was.
> She crouches down and puts her muzzle on the ground getting as close
to eye level with this fluffy not-baby.
> “Nu fwen?” She asks hopefully.
> The not-baby stops twitching and removes it little weggies from its eyes.
> “Fwen?” It asks.
> Your wifey smiles.
> “Fwuffy name iz Konstanz. Wha’ nu fwen name?”
> The little white not-baby gets very happy.
> “Fwuffy name “wha!” Wha wuv name!”
> Huh, his name is wha’.
> How about that.
> He giggles to himself and Constance picks him up with her weggies.
> “Yay! Huggies!” he squeels.
> Constance holds him very tight like she would a new baby.
> Tears form in her eyes and she looks at you.
> “Tank you speshuw fwen. Dis may nu be weal bahbeh, but iz cwose.”
> You are very happy with yourself.
> You have a family now.
> You, Cosntance, and ‘Wha’ the not-baby.
> Things are going to be alright.
> “Konstanz wuv new fwen!”
> “Wuv kunt!”
> You hope…
      ---
> It’s been a few dark time sand things are not alright.
> You thought Wha would be the perfect friend for your special friend.
> He’s small like a baby.
> He seems to be a fluffy.
> What could be better?
> Well, it seems that the being a fluffy part is the problem.
> He’s like other fluffies you’ve met, but more…well…fluffy.
> He has a very limited vocabulary.
> All he can really say is “Wuv” and “Huggies” and “Nummies.”
> He’s almost like a newborn foal that way.
> “Wan nummies!” “Gif huggies!” “Wuv kunt!”
> It’s all he ever says to your wifey.
> He never really talks to you.
> He’s also not very smart.
> Scratch that, this is one of the dumbest fluffies you’ve ever met.
> If he is indeed a fluffy.
> You’re starting to have having doubts that he’s really named “wha” after all.
> Every new bright time he wakes up and thinks you’re a monster.
> He screams and makes scaredy peepees on you and your special friend.
> That gets her angry at you.
> “Why husban’ scawe bahbeh fwen?” she glares at you every time.
> Then she gives Wha huggies.
> Your huggies.
> He also keeps on running around inside the safe place.
> Your special friend doesn’t let him go outside.
> She thinks the monsters will get him.
> She says he’s too small, like a baby.
> She thinks he is a baby.
> So he can only play in the den.
> Where he runs into things.
> Like the walls.
> And your weggies.
> Whenever he runs into you, he falls over and cries.
> One time he got boo-boo juice on his nosie.
> Your special friend got really angry at you then.
> “Why yu huwt bahbeh fwen!? Nu huwty o’ Kosntanz gif big owwies!”
> But it’s not your fault!
> Wha is just so clumsy.
> And he’s so fragile he is broken by all.
> He even slips and falls on his own poopies.
> Which is the biggest problem.H
> e only makes bad poopies.H
> e never leaves the den to make good poopies.
> And he never remembers to go in the corner like you told him.
> You even deomstrated for him.
> He just yelled “poopies!” and crapped on the nummies you brought in.
> You tried to discipline him once by bopping him on the snout.
> But your special friend got mad at you and made you stay outside for
a long, long time.
> Maybe it was five minutes, you don’t really know.
> But in any case, the den is starting to get covered with his poopies.
> So is Wha.
> But your special friend cleans him every day.
> Which is gross.
> If he’s not a baby he should be able to clean himself.
> He probably can, but your wifey keeps babying him.
> Taking her attention away from you.
> That makes you angry.
> Meanie not-baby!
> You need to clear your head.
> You go for a walk.
      ---
> You’re about to put into action your tree hugging plan once again
when you hear another little voice.
> ”Haf nummies?”
> You look down and see another white not-baby!
> Where are these things coming from?
> This one sounds different though.
> It has a higher pitched voice.
> “Nummies?” It asks again.
> You get an idea.
> Maybe if you bring this not baby back, it can play with Wha.
> Maybe your wife will be so happy you brought another not-baby she’ll
give you hugs again.
> Hopefully special hugs!
> You really like those.
> You quickly grab the other white not-baby and scamper back to your den.
> “WAH! Cotton nu nummies!” It yells.
> Huh, so this one’s called Cotton.
> How about that.
> You guess it’s easier than calling it “other not-baby”.
> Back at the den, Cotton is warmly received.
> Wha sees it and yells “Fwen!”
> Cotton squeals “fwen” to and they hug.
> Your wifey is so happy at you brining another not-baby, she gives
you hugs as well.
> She says to wait until the not-babies are sleeping and then you can
have special hugs!
> Life is great.
      ----
> “Enf! Enf! Enf!”
> What? You already got special hugs, and then fell asleep in a fluff pile.
> Who is “enf”ing around in here?
> You look around the den.
> See nothing.
> You look at wifey.
> Horror!
> The not babies are having special hugs on wifey while she sleeps!
> How rude!
> I guess cotton is a girl not-baby then.
> Not-babies making babies, what is this world coming to?
> Wait a minute…
> Not-baby babies…
> Cogs turning…
> That means…
> More not-babies!
> Oh, sweet poopies no!
> That mean more of the little buggers in here.
> Squealing.
> Piddling.
> Taking your nummies.
> Your attention.
> Making bad poopies everywhere.
> Not on your watch!
> You use a weggie and nudge the not-babies off of wifey.
> ”EEEE-*crunch*!”
> Oh poopies!
> Quick act like you’re asleep!
> “Huh..whazzat?”
> A bleary eyed and still sleepy wife begins to wake up and look around for
the not babies.
> You continue to act like you’re asleep.
> You hear shrill crying.
> Then a shriek.
> “Wha’ happen to not-babies!”
> Feigning surprise you jump up and puff out your cheeks.
> “Munstas huwt not-babies? Fwuffy gif biggest owwies!” you exclaim, using your
most intimidating voice.
> “Nu, husban’. Nu iz munstah! Not-baby huwties! Wook!”
> She points at a small puddle on the ground.
> Wha’ has two broken weggies.
> The bones are poking out of the ripped skin.
> He’s lying in a pile of blood and pee.
> That can’t be good for him.
> Cotton is next to him, trying to hug the owwies away.
> Stupid not-babies, huggies won’t fix that!
> But she seems unharmed by her fall.
> Your wifey is almost hysterical though.
> “Wha happen? Why not-baby haf owwies? Why boo-boo juice?”
> Oh no.
> Cold sweat.
> If they sell you out, you’re done for.
> Your special friend will hate you.
> She may make you sleep outside!
> She may give you owwies!
> She may make you go away and never return!
> Actually, that last part doesn’t sound too bad right now…
> ”Nu know!” cries Cotton.
> ”Fwen gif huggies, den owwies! Huhuhu!”
> Oh good, these things don’t remember anything.
> Thank fluffy jeebus they’re so dumb!
> Your special friend picks up the shrilly crying not babies and holds them close to her.
> They quiet down a bit.
> They eventually fall asleep.
> You get drowsy as well.
> “Waah! Wha’ happen weggies?!” comes a shriek
> Then more crying.
> Did he really forgot he broke his weggies?
> “Waa! Why fwen’s weggies nu wowk!”
> Yes he did, and apparently Cotton did to.
> These things are so dumb.
> ---
> The next few bright times are subdued
> Wha can’t move because of his useless weggies.
> He’s beginning to smell not pretty from sitting where he makes poopies.
> Not that he would try and move anyway.
> His weggies are also turning green, but he forgets they are broken.
> Every time you bring back new nummies he yells, “nummies!” and tries to run over to you.
> It always ends in tears and wifey brining him his nummies.
> Cotton begins to bloat up with babies.
> Not that wifey knows why, she just thinks cotton eats too much
> “Siwwy bahbeh fwen, too much nummies!” she always says.
> At least she takes cotton outside to make poopies.
> Then finally one new bright time, cotton begins with “BIG POOPIES!””
> Wifey thinks cotton actually has to make poopies and picks her up.
> She begins to carry her to the outside.
> *THHPTHH*
> A torrent of wawas, booboo juice, and little white babies flies out of cotton and onto wifey.
> She drops cotton on the ground in surprise.
> Then she stares at the mess of tiny babies and booboo juice all over her.
> She didn’t think these “babies” could make babies.
> She notices cotton pull one of the little puff balls to her stomach and lets it suckle on a tiny teat.
> Wifey deosn’t move.
> She just stands there, open-mouthed.
> You’re about to go see if she’s okay when another sound rips the air.
> *THHPTHH*
> Uh oh, wifey just made bad poopies in the safe place.
> For some reason it looks like a solid block.
> Then the ear-splitting-
> “YIII!!! Cotton fwen haf bahbees! Su happy! We gonna be best famwe!”
> Wifey starts bouncing up and down and happily babbling about the new tiny babies.
> She coos and fusses over Cotton and her brood.
> She helps collect and clean the new babies for the new mother.
> All you can do is watch and bemoan your fate.
> More of these poopies-factories in your home.
> Your life is over.
> Then wifey gets an idea.
> She carefully picks up the tiny baby in her mouth, and taking care not to swallow it, waddles over to Wha.
> She gently sets it down before the father and beams.
> “Wook bahbeh fwen! Cotton fwen haf yu bahbees! Yu iz daddeh!”
> Cotton stares at wriggling white ball for a moment.
> There’s almost a glint of recognition in his eyes.
> As if he knows what the baby is, and what his elation is to him.
> “Nummies!”
> Before wifey can do anything, Wha chomps down on the baby and lifts his head back up.
> It stays there, wiggling its tiny weggies for a moment, half in his father’s mouth.
> Then Wha swallows the foal, and looks back at wifey.
> “Wuv nummies! Mo’ nummies kunt!”
> Wifey’s eye twitches.
> No telling what’s going on in her fluffy mind.
> But she always wanted babies to love and hold.
> More than anything else in the world.
> Yet she was never allowed to have them.
> And now she just watched Wha eat one of his children.
> The injustice of it may just make her--
> “Yu meanie not-baby! Konstanz gif biggest owwies!”
> She rears back and stomps the confused little white fluffy.
> She doesn’t stop after one or two.
> She keeps stomping.
> She has a wild, feral look in her eyes.
> Foam forms at the edges of her mouth.
> She keeps using her forelegs to pound Wha into mush.
> You don’t try to stop her, even though Wha is nothing but booboo juice and mangled fluff at this point.
> No way are you getting involved with this.
> After forever, or five minutes, she gets tired and stops.
> She’s breathing heavily, quietly sobbing, and dripping foam from her mouth.
> She abruptly turns around and goes back towards Cotton with tears in her eyes.
> “Sowwy Cotton-fwen. Wha-fwen was biggest meanie! He gaf bahbee wongest sweep---“
> She cuts herself off and stares at Cotton.
> Cotton is sitting in a pile of booboo juice with half a baby lying beside her and another hanging limply from her mouth.
> She notices wifey staring at her in a catatonic trance, and quickly swallows the baby in her mouth.
> She raises two weggies covered in booboo juices and squeeks, “Wuv kunt!”
> You stare at the scene, jaw on the floor.
> This will not end well.
> “Wha…yu!...bahbees!...Fwuff…” is all wifey can sputter.
> You start backing to the entrance of the safe place.
> Cotton doesn’t sense impending doom.
> She looks at a half eaten baby and remembers what’s important.
> “Nummies!” she squeeks and clamps down on the rest of the baby.
> She sits on the floor contented, the tail end of one her children hanging out her mouth, eyes staring in two directions with not a care in the world.
> Wifey can’t even from words now, she just sputters parts of them at Cotton.
> “Nu—wha—bahbe—wu—mumm—ARGHH!”
> Wifey puffs her checks and stares down at Cotton.
> “Yu da wowst mummah evah! Bahbees is nu nummies! Bahbees is fo’ wuv!’
> Cotton drops the baby in her mouth and raises her weggies again.
> “Wuv kunt!”
> “Konstanz wu’ kiwl fo’ haf bahbees! Why yu eat bahbees!!!” wifey is screaming now.
> Cotton burps up booboo juice and stares happily at wifey.
> “Huggies!”
> “NU! You nu get huggies! Yu get..yu get…SOWWIEST O’ POOPIES!” wifey bellows.
> Uh-oh, you’ve got to get out of here.
> You’ve seen wife give sorry poopies before.
> She’s even given them to you once or twice.
> But the sorriest of poopies is something different.
> You’ve only seen it once.
> A red buggy munsta bit her on her weggie and gave her burny owwies.
> She cried and cried.
> You gave her huggies but that didn’t help.
> She gave the buggy munsta the biggest poopies ever.
> It took forever.
> Or you know, five minutes.
> But she got rid of so many poopies that she didn’t have to go for two days.
> The pile was almost as big as she was.
> You didn’t know a fluffy could hold that much poopies.
> Now is the time to leg it.
> You scramble out of the safe place and hear Cotton say her dying words as you burst into the sunlight.
> “Wuv kunt!”
> What follows is an endless stream of wet plopping noises and screaming.
> Not from Cotton, she probably drowned immediately.
> But wifey is trying her hardest to get every poopie out.
> You start looking around for a new safe place.
> You spy a bush near a tree.
> That should do nicely.
> You go over to it and set to work digging out a new den.
> After a little while you feel a nuzzling against you tail.
> It’s wifey!
> “Sowwy husband. Konstanz make biggest baddest poopies in safe pwace. Nu can gu there anymow.”
> You give her huggies.
> “Iz okay, fwuffies make nu safe pwace hewe.”
> She wipes the tears from eyes and sniffles.
> “Tank yu husband. Yu best fwuffy.”
> That makes you feel really good.
> Even better then special huggies.
> Then you get an idea.
> “Wifey wan husban’ tu fin notha not-bahbeh? Make nu famwe?”
> Wifey puffs her cheeks and stomps her hooves.
> “NU! Nebah want dos awfuwl cweatuwes again! Dey smewl wike poopies and is dummy fwuffies! Dey nu get wuv, owny sowwy poopies!”
> She breathing heavy again.
> You smile and give her more hugs.
> You couldn’t agree more.

FLUFFIES HAVING FLUFFIES
An impaler joint.