Kissing Booth 8: Sins of the Father

>You are Anon
>And this isn't your bed...
>You open your eyes and immediately wish you hadn't
>The blinding light overhead forces your eyes shut with a groan
>You feel yourself lying on something soft
>You also feel...
>Oh, god, the pain
>Every time you make even the slightest movement, excruciating pain shoots through your body
>It feels like your body is one giant bruise
>Were you run over by a truck or something?
>No...p0nies don't have trucks, stupid
>But something must have kicked your ass hard last night...but when you try to remember it...nothing comes to mind
>The last thing you remember is running out of Twilight's house with your booze...you think you were at a train station or something...
>Put it out of your mind, Anon, you need to figure out where you are
>The steady beep of a heart monitor answers your question
"Hospital?"
>You open your eyes, slowly this time, to reveal both a fluorescent light overhead and a white, tiled ceiling
>The bulb looks different though, as if a hundred tiny winged creatures are flying haphazardly within its walls
>These fucking p0nies...
>You hear a noise and suddenly realize that you aren't alone in your room
>A face suddenly comes into view
>It's smiling, it's eyes are red...but it's hers...
>No, not her, not her!
>Rainbow fucking Dash is sitting at your bedside, beaming down at you
>"Anon!  Oh, thank goodness...I-I was so worried!  You were out for so long...now, don't try to move..."
>Fat chance
>You gain control of your hand and it flies to her neck, seizing her throat in one, quick motion
>The pain at moving your arm is nigh overwhelming, but you press through it to glare at the blue pegasus
>She gasps in surprise and paws frantically at your arm
>"Anon...(gasp)...what are...(cough)...what are you doing?!"
>Her voice comes in weak, choked cries as she tries to break your vice like grip
>You find your voice as well, even though it comes out strained and faint
"Do you remember what I said Dash?  I said I'd fucking kill you for what you did to me...and I mean to keep that promise"
>She shuts her eyes in pain as you tighten your grip
>You can feel her windpipe beginning to give way
>"Don't you...(wheeze)...don't you remember last night?  Don't you remember...what...happened?"
>She's flailing about on the end of your fist, trying desperately to pull your fingers from around your neck
"I don't remember much, I just remember what you did to me at the party...you probably made me end up here, didn't you, you little bitch?"
>You want to hear her neck snap, you want to feel her larynx break under your grip...you want her to suffer for all she's done
>Your anger causes your grip to tighten
>Why isn't she fighting harder?  She could easily just hit you in the bandages on your arm or your body
>The pain you're feeling now is almost enough to stop your murderous intent, a little more and you wouldn't be able to hold on
>Dash opens her eyes and looks at you, still fighting for air
>Her forelegs relax, her eyes begin to tear up
>"Fine...do it, Anon...fucking kill me...(cough)...I've got nothing left...I've destroyed everything...(wheeze)...I love...just kill me..."
>This is it
>You glare at the spiteful bitch as you tighten your grip, waiting to hear her last breaths, waiting to see her eyes roll back in her head...
>But then you remember
>You now see the bandage wrapped around her head, and it reminds you of everything
-------------------------------------
>22 hours earlier
>You are-
"I am Anon!"
>Right, like you were saying...
"No! No, shhhaddup, voish in my head!  Everytime...everytime you shtart talking...bad shhit, happens...to me!!"
>As anyone within a 100 yard radius could tell...you were really, really drunk
"I shhaid shhaddup, you...you fuggin'...oh, fergget it..."
>You slump back into your seat on the bench and cease your ranting
>Even though your vision is wheeling and spinning now, you can spy several other p0nies in your periphery
>Like you, they're waiting at the train station for the locomotive to come and spirit them away
>God, you hope it comes soon...being spirited away sounds like a wonderful thing right now
>You want it to come and take you far, far away from this town
>From them...
>From her...
>You take another swig from your...was this the fifth or the sixth bottle?  Doesn't matter now...all you know is you don't hurt so much anymore
>Oh, alcohol, it's been far, far too long
>Daddy missed you
>As you finish several greedy gulps from the bottle, you notice that you and the p0nies have something...not quite so in common
>While you are feeling...just so goddamn good right now, they are all looking at you
>Some in fear, some in annoyance, others in disgust
>Fuck 'em, you won't have to deal with them for long
>You reach into your pocket
>Luckily, you had managed to make it out of Twilight's house with your booze all the way to the train station without being deterred or accosted by anyone
>Also luckily, you hadn't started drinking until you had bought your ticket
>You were so eager to get gone that you had just picked the first place on the ticket list and bought one
>You pull the small piece of paper out of your pocket and look at it
>Holy fuck, since when did you buy three tickets?
>Or have three hands?
>Oh, wait...wait for it...wait for it...
>The three blurry tickets merge into one...still blurry, but now legible ticket
>"Appleloosa - One Way"
>Seems alphabetized lists had decided your future, you were now going to be living in good ol' Appleloosa, where ever that is
"Anywhere but here..."
>You wistfully say to no one in particular before taking another few swigs from the bottle
>You sigh contentedly as the familiar, warm feelings embrace your form
>That's the great thing about booze
>Booze doesn't care who you are, booze doesn't care what you've done...or what others have done to you
>Nah man, booze just makes you feel warm and loved in a world where no one else does
>No muss, no fuss
>And by "muss" you of course meant "giving you all sorts of warm feelings and then jumping you sexually"
>And by "fuss" you of course meant "telling you she loved you right after cementing your place as town pariah"
>Dammit, stop thinking about that
>You finish off the bottle in your hand and go to chuck it into the nearby trash can
"Kobe!"
>You shout as you pitch the bottle
>It bricks and shatters all over the side of the trash can
>Fucking Kobe sucks anyway...
>The other p0nies at the station shift awkwardly away from you, even beginning to flee
>That's right, they can't handle this
>You reach, once again, into the burlap sack and retrieve another bottle at random
>Vodka
>You shrug.  For glorious mother Russia it is, comrade!
>You begin humming the Russian national anthem, what little you remember from Rocky IV, and reach for the cap
>Before your hand reaches its destination, however, something strikes the side of the bottle and it shatters into a million pieces
>The Vodka intended for your mouth is now covering your lap, soaking into your attractive black slacks
>Your surprise dissolves quickly into rage
>No no no no!!  You might have lost everything you hold dear in this stupid, stupid world, but you are NOT, you repeat, NOT losing your GODDAMN ALCOHOL TOO!!
>You stand up quickly and wheel to the right, in the direction the flying object came from
"Alright, who the fuck...?!"
>You see him, standing there with a smug grin, hefting another rock in his hoof
"YOU!!"
>That motherfucker from the party
>That stallion who had been the first to join Rainbow Dash's side as she claimed you were still a drunken nuisance
>"Well, well, well, what do we have here?  Seems like some monkey doesn't have his little unicorn bitch to protect him this time..."
>You realize now that this asshole isn't alone
>Behind him and to his flank you spot about...10, 11, 12...about 15 or so other stallions, all carrying rocks and bats, all staring you down with the same malevolent grin
>Now you realize why the other p0nies had all run off...they knew a storm was brewing, and they wanted to get their little boats back to port before the waves came in
>Wait!  You were seeing triple earlier!  Maybe there's only, like, 5 of them!
>You squint your eyes and focus at the advancing stallions
>Shit, still about 15...way to start working, eyes
>As the stallions continue to move on your position, you clutch the stem of the broken bottle in your hand, waving it in front of you like an impromptu knife
"J-jussht shtay back!  I'm really really drunk and really dangeroussh...and I've got a knife...bottle...thing..."
>You sway a little on your feet
>The p0nies don't seem too threatened and continue to move forward, you take a few steps back
>The stallion leading them just laughs
>"Oh, I don't think so, Anon.  Your little vice has done you in this time, you're in no shape to stop us now"
>Dammit, he was right.  All your size and strength was for naught like this...
>You could barely stay on your feet, let alone fight off 15 sober p0nies
>As they continue to close the distance between you, a black pegasus in the crowd calls out
>"Wait!"
>The angry mob turns to look at him
>"Don't get too close!  He might throw his shit at you!"
>You all stare, dumbfounded, at the p0ny
>"Right?  I mean...that's why Rainbow called him 'shit-flinger'...right?"
>The stallion leading the charge face hooves
>"Because, you know...he throws his poop at p0nies...doesn't he?"
>"Uggh!  Thunderlane, you bucking retard!  We just call him that because he looks like a monkey!  He doesn't ACTUALLY fling his shit around!  If he did, the town would've let us do this a long bucking time ago!"
>Oh, shit the town was in on this?
>Hmmph.  Big surprise...
>The stallion at the front turns back around to address you
>"You don't really throw your own poop, do you?"
"Well...I guessh there'sh a firsht time for everything...but no...no I wash jusht planning on slishing your throat open...with thesesh!"
>With your free hand, you grab another bottle from the bag and smash it open on the bench
>You hate to see the sweet nectar go to waste, but it's for a good cause
>You will be mourned for your sacrifice, brother...
>Now, you hold two bottle-knives and you swing them in front of you, menacingly
>Or, at least as menacingly as you can muster in your current state
>The mob, for the first time, looks a little intimidated at your crouched stance and glass claws
>Even your alcohol-addled brain sees the opportunity to latch on to this fear
"Never eaten p0ny before..."
>You growl as you flash your canines at them
"I wonder what you tashte like..."
>That does it
>The stallions start to look quite frightened, even backing up a few steps
>These were farmers, vendors, shop owners.  Not soldiers
>Not used to violence or the threat of death by some strange, carnivorous alien who towered above them
>Maybe you can just give them a good scare and send them on their way...
>But, unfortunately, that isn't going to happen
>The stallion at the front turns to face his companions
>"Hold fast, stallions!  Hold!  This alien is bluffing, there's 17 of us and just one of him!"
>Your count wasn't that far off after all, hurray high functioning alcoholism!
>"Remember, brothers!  We do this for the safety of our town, for our foals!  For our mares!"
>Shit, the speech invigorates their resolve and they form their ranks again, ready to charge you
>To them, you were some fire breathing dragon and they were the noble knights of the fucking round table...
>As you begin to wonder if the dragons from those stories were just misunderstood all along, the leader addresses you one final time
>"Any last words, you overgrown ape?"
>Oh, god...
>This is it, isn't it?
>You were going to die here, in this stupid, crazy, magic-is-real land of pastel horses...
>You were going to be killed by angry townsfolk so far away from home
>Home...
>The memories start to flood your brain
>Your friends
>Your teachers
>Your pastor
>That time in third grade when you shit your pants
>That time in tenth grade when you did it again
>Seriously, you tried to tell your doctor you had a problem, but he hadn't listened
>Those times in high school when you hung out behind the dumpsters to sneak a cigarette with your friends
>Your first kiss
>Your first love
>Your car, your house, your...bills...
>Okay, let's remember something else
>Your mom...oh, god your poor old mother...
>She had tried so hard to fix your addiction
>To make her little boy whole again
>You hated to think about how she must have suffered when you had disappeared
>You had cried yourself to sleep the night Twilight told you she didn't know how to send you back
>Thinking about how your mom must've thought you went the route of...
>Dad...
>Oh, you remember that bastard all right
>Dear old dead beat dad
>The same fucking lowlife who, rather than pay child support to you and your single, working mother, liked to spend his money betting on...you guessed it...the p0nies
>Was pretty bad at it too
>Eventually, he had started borrowing money from some real shady folks
>And when he couldn't even pay them?
>Your father had "mysteriously" disappeared
>Good riddance
>The irony of the situation does not escape you
>It seems that both your father's, and your upcoming, untimely demises were in some way brought about by p0nies...
>Ka is a wheel, right?
>As you brace yourself for the 17 stallion charge, a familiar voice rings out...
>"You wanna talk about protecting your mares?!  Well, why don't you listen to one for a change?!"
>In a multicolored flash, the bitch herself descends the from the heavens, landing right in front of you
>Dash's sudden entrance momentarily stops the advancing p0nies
>She lowers herself into what you think is a charging position, her wings out to her side, one hoof pawing at the ground
>"I've had just about enough of you guys!  Go home now, and nop0ny gets hurt!"
>The stallions all look at each other and start to laugh
"I don't...I don't think that worked..."
>She flips her head around to look at you
>Her eyes are red, her mane looks frazzled
>"Shut up and stay still, Anon!"
>Well, fuck you too
>The leader finishes his laugh and stares Rainbow down
>"Get out of the way, Dash...we have unfinished business with this ape"
>She growls
>"No!  I know you all think you're doing something noble here...that you're protecting the town from Anon..."
>She looks back at you again
>A pained expression lines her face
>"But you've got it all wrong...Anon isn't the bad guy here"
>She lowers her gaze
>"I am...I'm the one responsible for Anon's behavior...I realize that now..."
>What in the flying fuck is happening here?
>You couldn't possibly be that drunk, right?
>Because to you, it looked like Rainbow Dash, the evil witch who had forever poisoned your reputation with the townsfolk of Ponyville, was trying her damnedest to stop your imminent lynching
>You must REALLY have a problem with your drinking if that's what you thought you saw
>You shake your head a few times, but no...she's still there, standing defiantly now, facing down the angry mob
>"I've got something to tell you all...the truth about what happened between me and Anon...
>She takes a deep breath
>"The truth is..."
>The leader's sudden laughter cuts her off
>"Oh, you stupid, STUPID girl...you really think we care what you have to say?"
>Though you can't see her face, you can almost feel Rainbow's jaw drop
>"You really do?!  Ha!  You're even dumber than you look!"
>Rainbow tenses her body, going back into her charging stance
>"Say that to me again, you bucking shit stain!"
>The leader ignores her comment and finishes his laughter
>"Oh, Rainbow Dash...the rest of this simple town might care about how Anon 'embarrassed' you by giving you something you DESPERATELY needed"
>You can positively feel the rage coursing through her
>"But WE, we few, we brave stallions!  We know what the real problem is here!  We see this knuckle-dragging, booze guzzling biped for what he really is!  A menace!  A threat to our town!"
>He leans in close to Dash, eyeballing her intensely
>"Did you know he eats MEAT, Rainbow Dash?  Did you know that, in his heart, he is a filthy carnivore?  Like those barbaric gryphons you like to associate with?"
>He pulls back to look at you, disapprovingly
>"Ordinarily, we wouldn't mind even one of the lesser races in our midst...as long as he knew his place...but THIS...this talking APE!  This foul beast is so damn drunk all the time, I lay awake at night wondering when the liquor will override his limited sensibilities and cause him to gobble up one of our own!"
>He turns to his posse and snickers
>"And I am not the only one with such concerns, am I, gentlecolts?"
>Cries of "No way!" and "Kill the menace!" ring out through the mob
>The leader turns to face you again, the same smug grin pulling at the corners of his mouth
>"The little misadventure you two had at the kissing booths was the last straw, the last piece of justification we needed to carry out this mission...the sour taste in the town's mouth that will let us dispose of this cretin once and for all...with nop0ny objecting to Anonymous' 'sudden disappearance'"
>He sneered
>"Ah, but you almost bucked that all up, didn't you Anonymous?  You almost got the town on your side...to be honest, I thought we were done for.  After all, if we had moved on you not 12 hours ago, killed Ponyville's rehabilitated, prodigal son, there would be investigations, trials, my boys and I would be strung up in the town square, no doubt"
>Rainbow Dash interjects
>"If you don't leave now, if you don't just turn around and go right home, there WILL be trials and you WILL be held accountable for your crimes!"
>The leader shakes his head, chuckling
>"No...no I don't think so, Dash.  You see, thanks to you and your little outburst at the party, Anonymous is about as well-loved as a hydra at the moment...even now, there are whispers circling through this town, whispers that something very bad is going to happen to Ponyville's newest resident.  In fact, do you hear that?"
>He places a hoof to his ear
>Silence fills the air
>"Nothing!  That's the sound of nop0ny coming to stop us!  Nop0ny's coming to save you, Anonymous!  The town has sold you out, cast you aside!  Nop0ny will investigate your death and nop0ny will mourn your passing!"
>He turns his gaze from you to Rainbow Dash
>"I really must thank you, my dear.  In your own, bumbling, way, you've helped us keep Ponyville safe from this monster.  You've ensured that none of us, nor our innocent sons and daughters, will suffer any harm at the claws of this beast"
>He draws himself up and puffs out his chest
>"Now, get out of our way, mare!  There's monster-slaying to be done here tonight!"
>Your head is spinning
>You can't tell if it's the inebriation or the villainous monologue that's causing your dizziness anymore
>This was the threat to your safety all along?
>All this time you had been so concerned with what Dash thought of you, surmising that she was the key to your reputation
>But no...no, in the end she was just a side character in this maniac's plan
>You were dead to rights the moment you had started nursing your addiction in this town
>And now you were going to die, not at the hands of exile or joblessness
>But as a result of the xenophobia of 17 stallions and a town that was willing to look the other way
>You wonder how fast and how far you can run from this angry onslaught before you hear her speak
>"That's NOT going to happen, you bucking lunatic!"
>Even through all the shit that was going down, Rainbow Dash stood her ground against the horde
>"You were wrong about one thing, you know!  You said that nop0ny was coming to save Anon!"
>She paws the ground again and snorts, whinnying a little
>"Well I'm still here!  And if you touch a hair on his head, I'm going to rip your balls off and feed them to you!"
>The leader gives her a look of supreme annoyance
>"You would side with this monster?  Even after all the grief he's caused you?!  You would betray your town, your fellow p0nies?!"
>"I'm not betraying anyp0ny!"
>She turns to look at you
>She smiles
>Her smile is so sweet, so earnest...you can't believe how beautiful it looks in the moonlight
>"Not anymore I'm not...Anon might be a drunken mess..."
>She wheels back around to face the mob with a quickness that makes the stallions flinch
>"...But he's MY drunken mess!  And I dare ANY of you bastards to try and take him from me!"
>Okay, hold the phone...did Rainbow Dash just call you hers?  Because that shit was not about to fly with you
>She may be willing to stand toe to toe against 17 other p0nies for you, but that doesn't change the fact that they wouldn't be trying to kill you if it wasn't for her!
"Tha fuggh did you shay 'bout me, bitch?"
>She turns, giving you a confused look
>"Anon, just be quiet, alright?  I got this..."
"No!  No, fuggh you, Dassh!  You can't jusht sshow up like this...and ecshpect everything to jusht be fine!"
>You let out a belch you had been holding back and continue
"You know...you know, you really hurt me...and I don't wanna shee you again, you...you..."
>She groans
>"Anon!  For the love of Celestia, shut the fuck up!  There are bigger problems than your feelings right now!  I'm trying to help you here, so stop being such a little bitch and let me do that!"
>You sway a little
"You don't have to yell..."
>The leader growls, clearly fed up with all this stalling
>"So be it, Dash.  You want to side with the beast?  You two can share the same grave!"
>A stallion speaks up from the crowd
>"Now, hold on, hold on!  Time Turner...you said we were only going to kill Anon...Rainbow Dash, well, she's an Equestrian hero!  We can't hurt her!  We'll all go to jail or worse if we do that!"
>The crowd nods in agreement
>The leader, Time Turner it would seem, turns to face them
>"Don't worry yourselves about her!  I have it on good authority that this bitch has been forsaken by her friends just the same as the ape!"
"Rainbow...ish that..."
>"I said shut up!"
>She hisses back at you
>Time Turner speaks up again
>"Anon's the target, but don't hesitate to take out Rainbow Bitch if she gets in your way!"
>The mob steels itself, reading to charge again, but you can't help noticing that they all seem a little unsure now
>"Alright, on the count of three we break this monkey's legs, bring him down to our level, and finish him off!  Okay, guys?"
>Time Turner looks behind him to confirm the group's readiness
>The stallions are still holding their bats and rocks, but even your drunk ass can see that doubt is beginning to gnaw at them
>They shift uneasily on their hooves
>Their faces, instead of being full of malice like before, display disturbed frowns
>They're all coming down with a serious case of "I didn't sign up for this"
>Rainbow sees this and, to your surprise, begins speaking softly to them
>"Look at yourselves...what's happened to you?  You think you're doing something righteous here?  Something noble?  You're ganging up on a lonely creature from another planet whose biggest crime is passing out in flower gardens"
>Dash looks at an orange stallion in the crowd
>"Mr. Cake...what would your wife think if she saw you about to kill another being?  Do you want your foals to grow up knowing their dad is a murderer?"
>The p0ny can't meet her gaze and looks to the side before trying to answer
>"I thought...I thought I was keeping them safe, Rainbow..."
>Dash turns her gaze to a large, red stallion
>"And Big Macintosh...Celestia, I never thought that YOU could be a part of this...you're always so gentle...so reasonable.  Why are you doing this?  What would Applejack or Applebloom say if they were here?"
>His eyes begin to tear up and he stares at the ground, sniffing quietly
>Rainbow sighs
>"Look, guys...I know how you feel.  When Anon first came here, when he started drinking so much, I hated him too...for other reasons...but I still hated him"
>She looks at you again, wearing her winning smile
>"But then I got to know him, I talked to him...and I found there was so much more to him.  That he is a wonderful, wonderful...person"
>She faces the now emotionally torn crowd of p0nies, all kicking the ground with their hooves or looking off into the distance, not wishing to face the blue mare addressing them
>"If you want to kill Anon, you can try.  And though I'll do everything in my power to stop you...you'll probably win..."
>Not very inspiring there, Dash...
>"But know this...if you kill Anon...you'll be killing a beautiful creature, one like no other in this world...and I don't mean that just because he's the only one of his species.  And though Ponyville might look the other way...though you probably won't get in trouble for this...you'll know what you did"
>Her tone takes an edge to it
>"For the rest of your lives, you'll know that you committed murder here tonight.  Your wives will know, your foals will know...and you'll take that burden all the way to your graves"
>She lets out a breath she had been holding
>"If you can live with that...then try to kill him"
>She gets back in her fighting stance
>"The choice is yours..."
>Her words begin to sink in
>The resolve of the mob is nearly gone
>Big Macintosh speaks up
>"Come on, ya'll...let's just go home...
>As they turn to leave, Time Turner fumes at them
>"What are you doing?!  Get back here, you cowards!!  Are you seriously going to believe this stupid girl?!  She's been tricked twice now by the beast!"
>His ranting is for naught as they start to shuffle away
>Rainbow turns to you, beaming
>"See, Anon?  I told you I-OOF!!"
>In one, quick motion, Time Turner slams the rock he had been holding into Dash's head
>She crumples to the ground in pain
"Dash!!!"
>"The ape must die, Rainbow!  I won't let you jeopardize the safety of this town!  I won't let you..."
>As Time Turner rants, you look upon Dash's prone form
>She clutches her head, her forelegs shaking from the pain
>Blood begins to ooze upon the platform
>Your shock begins to fade...
>In its place...
>Fury
>Unending, unquenchable bloodlust courses through your veins
>Something primal awakens inside your drunk brain
>Something commanding you to...to...
>KILL. THEM. ALL!!!
>As Time Turner lifts his rock to strike Rainbow again, you howl and lunge forward, raising the bottle in your left hand
>You bring it down, hard, across the bastard's face
>You feel the sharp edges of the bottle rend and tear the right side of his face
>It feels good...
>Time Turner yelps and jumps back holding his injured mug
>"Oh, buck!!  Oh, buck, my eye!!  That monkey tore out my eye!!"
>The stallions turn back around to face you
>What they see brings shock to their faces
>You stand, bottles at the ready, seething with rage
"You want to see a monster?!?  Well, you found one!!"
>In your blinding fury, you hear Rainbow call out to you softly
>"Anon, no...don't..."
>It's too late for "don't" right now
>The mob has already regained their weapons
>"He's gone wild!"
>"Put him down!"
>What follows next...you don't remember a lot of
>Turns out alcohol, pain, and pure adrenaline make for one hell of a memory erasing cocktail
>You remember flailing wildly, you remember the angry and horrified expressions of the p0nies
>You remember slicing their faces, their bodies
>You think you even remember Rainbow colored streaks as they fly to and fro, knocking into your assailants
>But it's all so blurry now
>You remember the sickening crunch as one of them bucks you in the knee cap, bringing you to the ground in pain
>You'd like to think that you fought the good fight, but you were no legend of drunken master like good ol' Jackie
>You were just a simple kid from a small town who, up until now, had never been in anything more than a schoolyard scuffle
>You remember lying, exhausted and furious in a pool of blood
>A lot of it was probably yours
>Your mangled leg flooding your senses with agony
>You remember looking up, seeing Big Macintosh standing over you, raising his bat above him, ready to deliver the killing blow
>You remember giving up, awaiting death
>But...you also remember the look on his face
>His face was lacerated, his nose looked broken, tears were welling up in his large, expressive eyes
>You remember hearing a soft voice to your right
>"Big Mac...please...I love him..."
>You remember the large farmer dropping his bat before uttering a "dammit!" and running out of your line of sight
>You remember darkness taking you, the pain fading
>You belong to oblivion now....
-----------------------------------
>You're falling
>Tumbling out of sight and mind
>Your world is full of crushing darkness one moment and blinding light the next
>You don't know which way is up or down, or where you are
>The deafening silence gives way to voices
>"Is...alright?"
>"...we...some...an occasion..."
>You could swear you know these voices
>"...not...leaving!"
>"Do not...will speak...soon"
>You try to catch more, but they're gone again
>The void has you now, and you continue to fall down the rabbit hole
>Suddenly...you're home!
>Not home in Ponyville home, but HOME!
>You're sitting at the kitchen table in your mother's old house
>Warm, morning light is streaming in the windows
>You can hear the faint roar of the interstate in the distance
>And the smell!  You can smell your mother's famous bacon and eggs!
>You'd know that smell anywhere...oh, how you had missed it
>She turns from the stove to face you
"Mom..."
>She smiles and scolds you a little
>You shouldn't eat so quickly, Anonymous!
>Certainly not just to impress your new girlfriend, and why hasn't your dear, loving mother heard about her until just now, hmmm?
>Girlfriend?
>A hand grasps yours and you turn to look at its owner
>A young, pretty, human woman is sitting next to you, holding your hand and smiling at you
>Human women...you had almost started to forget what they looked like
>Hold on, this wasn't a memory...not one of yours anyway
>You had never brought one of your girlfriends home to mom, you didn't think she'd like any of them
>This woman was certainly not your girlfriend...so who was she?
>Her hair had a familiar shade to it...several familiar shades, in fact
>Suddenly, she grips your hand tightly
>Almost enough to cause pain
>"I'm not letting go, Anon...you're just too damn important to me..."
>As quickly as it came, the dream fades
>You're back to tumbling between planes of existence
>Fuck!  Why couldn't you stay there?  At least long enough to get some bacon...
>Your mind, it seems, has other ideas
>You're in Ponyville now, the town square...but something's wrong
>The sky is red, there are no townsfolk anywhere
>Thunder rumbles in the distance
>As you pass the town hall, the immense building suddenly crumbles
>You try to run but it falls on you, pinning your leg underneath the wreckage
>The pain in your leg makes you cry out
"Help!  Someone!  Anyone!  Help me!"
>No help comes...
>You're all alone now...no, no you hate being all alone!
>You hated feeling this way!  You had had enough of feeling like this!  Abandoned...forsaken...
>You shut your eyes in frustration and sob
>Suddenly, you feel cold
>You open your watering eyes to find that you're no longer in Ponyville anymore
>The building is gone, and so is the pain in your leg
>You stand up and look around
>You're in a forest clearing now, standing in a couple inches of snow
>More of the frozen substance is falling all around you
>Seems peaceful enough...but something feels wrong
>You hear a low growl behind you
>Quickly, you turn to find an enormous, gray wolf staring you down, baring its teeth
>In your fright, you try to run but end up falling on your ass instead
>As you scoot meekly away from the hungry carnivore, you see that the wolf has decided to seize the opportunity and strikes
>Before it can finish you, however, a flash of white barrels into your attacker from the side
>You blink in disbelief and find that another wolf, one as white as the snow it stands on, has attacked your assailant and torn its throat out
>The second wolf turns to look at you and cocks its head in curiosity
>You regain control of your legs and rise to your feet
>The white wolf watches you through the entire movement, still giving you the same, animalistic look of ambivalence
>It slowly, non-threateningly, approaches you now and looks up at you as if waiting for you to do something
>You don't know why, but you reach out to pet the creature in thanks
>It snarls and bites your hand, sinking its teeth into your flesh
"OW, fuck!!"
>You scream as you retract your mangled appendage, holding it to your body
>As if that was what the wolf was waiting for, it suddenly saunters off the the edge of the clearing and turns back to look at you, expectantly
"Oh, you want me to follow you, huh, motherfucker?  Well, I'm gonna do a lot more than that when I catch your mangy ass!"
>In your anger, you take off after the wolf and it runs ahead of you
>Despite your limited knowledge of wolves, you know that they must be able to run faster than this
>As you chase the creature through the dense forest, you're almost keeping pace with it
>In fact, you can hear it panting, as if it's nearly out of breath
>Over logs and through the brush you chase the wolf, you on your two legs, it on its four
>You're getting close to it now...
>As you reach out your good hand to grab a hold of its fur, a low lying branch strikes you across the face, obscuring your vision
>You mutter a string of curses and wipe the pine needles and sap out of your face before continuing...
>Into another clearing
>In the middle of this new clearing you see the wolf, standing there once again, giving you the same inquisitive stare
>But next to the wolf...stands a creature you didn't recognize
>It looks like a p0ny...but it's big
>It's almost as tall as you, even while standing on all fours
>Its coat is a dark blue and it's mane wafts about its withers, a translucent, star filled apparition sprouting from its head
>It had both a horn like a unicorn and a pair of wings like a pegasus
>The creature's eyes seem to enrapture you and you stop moving forward, no longer noticing the pain in your hand
>It's eyes seem...ageless, and wise beyond measure
>It smiles slightly at you, that seems like a good sign, and turns to the wolf still standing next to it
>In a soft, feminine voice she speaks to the hand-biting bastard
>"Do not worry, child.  He will speak to you soon"
>Why does that phrase sound familiar?
>The wolf seems pleased and runs off into the forest beyond the clearing, out of your sight
>The mare, you now guess, turns her attention back to you, still wearing her easy smile
>"Is your hand alright?"
"Y-yeah..."
>You answer, tentatively, before turning to look at the appendage
>Instead of seeing the bloody mess you were expecting, you find that your hand has now healed remarkably
>You flex your fingers
>Works fine, too
>Despite your sudden healing, you can't help but notice a hefty amount of scar tissue covering the appendage
>The mare giggles softly
>"I must apologize.  She has quite a nasty bite, does she not?"
>You turn your gaze to look back at the creature with the ethereal mane
"Who is she?"
>Another giggle, culminating in a quiet laugh
>"I think you know that already, Anonymous"
>You groan
>You were not in the mood for guessing games or heavy-handed metaphors right now
>Right now, you wanted answers
"Am I dead?  Is this supposed to be heaven, or something?"
>The mare looks surprised at your question
>"Such an odd query..."
>The surprise fades from her face and she looks off into the forest, wistfully
>"I sometimes wonder myself if this plane is a sort of death...a way for our minds to travel elsewhere...leaving our bodies to..."
>She chuckles and shakes her head
>"Listen to me go on.  I'm the Princess of the Night and all the dreams it encompasses, and even I don't know all the secrets of this place..."
>More goddamn riddles
"Hey!  I asked you a...wait, I know who you are..."
>You remember now, you had seen pictures of this strange creature in Twilight's house
>Pictures of her next to Twilight and her friends
>You remember that Twilight was hearing some old hobo outfit or something with a long beard
"You're...you're Princess Luna, aren't you?"
>She turns back to you and smiles
>"Ah...so you do know me.  It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Anonymous"
>She performs what you think is the p0ny equivalent of a curtsey
>"Although I am sorry to have made it under such circumstances"
>Though Twilight had told you all about the Princesses of the sun and moon, and how they had the ability to control their respective celestial bodies, you had never actually gotten the opportunity to meet them in person
"Yeah, uh...charmed, I'm sure"
>You perform a quick bow
>Hey, when in Rome, right?
"So, I'm going to go ahead and take a hopeful guess that I am, most certainly, NOT dead, right?"
>The princess continues to smile serenely at you
>"Your physical body is alive and resting, if that's what you mean, yes...although, I'm afraid it's quite worse for wear..."
>You gulp
"How bad?"
>She shakes off your concern
>"Nothing you can't make a full recovery from"
>Her voice falls slightly, taking on a darker tone
>"Which is far more than you probably deserve, considering your actions in it"
>What?!
"The hell is that supposed to mean?!"
>She fixes you with a disapproving gaze
>"Twilight Sparkle has informed me of your blatant alcoholism, your reckless disregard for your own personal safety, and-
>You raise a hand quickly
"Okay, okay, I can see where this is going.  Look, no offense, lady, but if I wanted a lecture on my sinful ways, I would've just stayed in the dream with my mother in it"
>Not that you had had much choice...
"But at the moment, I just want to get the hell out of this place and back to my body.  I am certainly not in the mood for any 3 ghosts of Christmas bullshit"
>She narrows her eyes at you, clearly confused at that last reference
>You sigh
"It means I don't want to spend any time learning a damn moral or lesson or something.  The way I see it, everyone-oh, I'm sorry, everP0NY-else are the ones you should be talking to.  They're the ones who have been making my life shit for the entire time I've been here!"
>You don't notice it at first, but the volume of your voice has been steadily growing
"I just wanted to live with the cards I had been dealt!  I just wanted a peaceful life where I can have a drink...or five...and not have to worry about a bunch of fucking p0nies trying to run me out of town if I'm not super best friends with them!  I just wanted to not fall in love and then have my heart torn out of my goddamn chest!!"
>Your ranting leaves you panting and spent
>Luna's expression remains unchanged
>"Are you quite done?"
>You place your hands on your hips and lower your head
"Yeah...yeah, I'm done..."
>She begins to open her mouth, but you raise your hand again
"No, not just done talking.  I'm done with this whole dream scape intervention nonsense.  Just wake me up or pull the plug on the back of my head or something"
>She probably didn't get that reference either, but you don't care right now
>The Princess ignores your last comment and continues
>"Because as I was GOING to finish, -and your inability to control or understand your own feelings and how they have affected those closest to you!"
>You can't believe this bitch
>It was as if she thought everything that had caused you all your misery in this world was YOUR fault
"Oh!  Oh, yeah it's MY feelings that are to blame here!  Silly me, I thought it would have been acceptable to want to feel drunk from time to time!  Or, or maybe even have the feeling of NOT being hated by my entire town of residence!  Or...and I'm just talkin' absolutely fuckin' crazy here, but maybe, juuuust MAYBE to have someone around me who DIDN'T turn out to be a heartless, backstabbing cunt!!"
>Luna just stares her serene, unemotional, disapproving stare
>"I thought you said you were done"
"Yeah...well, I guess I wasn't..."
>She approaches with a quickness that startles you, coming to within a few inches of your face
>Softly, she speaks
>"Look, Anonymous...I understand you've been through a lot of frustration and stress recently..."
>Finally, some fucking sympathy
>Suddenly, she strikes you across the face with a hoof
>You reel back and clutch your reddening cheek
"OW!  Wha-"
>She strikes you again, much harder this time, and you fall on your side
>"But when are you going to grow the buck up and start taking some responsibility for your actions?!"
>You look up, hurt and furious to see that the Princess of the Night has lost her serenity and is now grinding her teeth in anger at you
>Her eyes are pinpricks, even her translucent mane seems to shimmer and whip to and fro with ferocity
"Responsibility?!  What the fu-"
>She raises a hoof and seems to grow and darken
>Her eyes are beginning to turn white, the clouds in the sky above begin to twist and churn
>Well, good going, Anon.  You've awoken the fury of a living god
>In her own playground, no less...no really, capital job, old bean!
"Okay, okay!  Shit, you've made your point!"
>You wave your hand defensively at her
"Just say your peace already!"
>She lowers her hoof and both her body and the sky return to normal
>"Well, now that I have your attention, I intend to"
>You rise to a sitting position and she plops her hindquarters down in the snow
>A little unceremonious for a princess...but it certainly beats what you had almost incurred
>"Anonymous...during your unconsciousness, I've searched your mind, your memories..."
"You what?!"
>"Do NOT interrupt me again!"
>You decide that silence is the best course of action right now
>"While you are here, in your dreams, your consciousness is my crystal ball, I can see anything from your present or your past, all your thoughts, even the things you try to hide from yourself...and what I have found disturbs me"
>Oh, god...you feel so violated, so intruded upon
>You really hope she didn't see...
>She rolls her eyes, guessing, or perhaps reading, your thoughts
>"Yes, Anon, I saw the times you shit your pants"
>Dammit!
>"But that is not what disturbs me"
>Her stare becomes pensive, almost pained
>"Anonymous...it has become clear to me now that you spend a great deal of your time blaming others for your misfortunes.  You think that the world is out to get you.  Your father leaving you, your sudden transportation to Equestria, the townsfolk of Ponyville despising you, Rainbow Dash's betrayal of your trust...Anon, you use these wounds to excuse your own reckless behavior, uncaring of how your actions might affect those who care about you, who love you..."
>But those things WEREN'T your fault!  How could she possibly ask you to "take responsibility" for the slings and arrows of others?!
>"But did you ever stop to think of the events that YOU, not others, have set in motion?  You were the one who kissed Rainbow Dash that day at the booths, you were the one who volunteered to apologize to her, you were the one who agreed to be workout buddies with her, you were the one who fell in love with her, you were the one who returned her love towards you, and YOU...you were the one who, instead of accepting Twilight's magnanimous gesture of kindness...instead of letting her keep you safe in Canterlot when nearly all of Ponyville wished you dead or gone...YOU..."
>Her expression sours
>"You were the one who stole back your alcohol and tried to skip town, completely ignoring your friend's warnings!  Do you have any idea how much grief, how much sadness you have caused her?  Did you know that my sister charged her with your safety when you arrived?  That Twilight felt as though she had betrayed her mentor, her surrogate big sister, when she couldn't keep one measly human in plain sight?"
>Measly?
>"But all that pain, that anguish, is insignificant compared to the suffering that another is experiencing right now..."
>You grit your teeth in anger
>She had better not mention who you think she's going to
>You were definitely in no mood to hear how you were somehow responsible for that bitch's behavior
>"She probably saved your life, did you know that?  And not just at the train station, either..."
>The train station?  Your memory is fuzzy on that
>You can't quite remember what happened there...
>Luna ignores your musing and continues
>"How much longer do you think you could have continued to live like you did, hmm?  How many more bottles could you have drained, how many more nights of lazing about in inebriation could your body have endured?  You will not be young forever, Anon.  Sooner than you think your liver was going to give out one day and leave behind a pickled corpse for your friends to fish out of your bathtub!"
>Little morbid there, princess...
>But you had heard all of this before, especially that last part
>Except...not with so many specific citations of your lack of caring...
>No, no this can't be your fault!  You were pushed and shaped by those around you!  They forced you into this bind!  Luna just didn't understand, how could she?  She hadn't walked a mile in your shoes, she hadn't felt so alone, so betrayed
>"That's where you're wrong, Anonymous..."
>Okay, now you were sure she was reading your mind
>"This adventure that has brought us together is not mine, but..."
>Her gaze drifts off into the forest before snapping back to you
>"Ask Twilight about my story sometime, or any p0ny for that matter, but enough about me..."
>You break your earlier promise and interrupt the princess
"Why are you telling me all this?"
>She doesn't seem to mind your intrusion and the serene smile from before adorns her face
>"Because I care about my friends, I care about those who impact their lives.  I care about you, Anon"
"You don't even know me.  And I don't mean you don't know my thoughts, which you clearly do...I mean, we've never even had a conversation before this...and if we had, you'd probably be just like the rest of Ponyville"
>She shakes her head
>"There are plenty who have conversed with you and found a being they enjoy"
>She smirks
>"Though you may not realize how deep their love for you goes"
>Before you can snarl at her insinuation, she continues, the edge has returned to her tone
>"And I also say these things to you now because at any other time, you might be too drunk to hear them"
>Oh, great, we're back to this again
>"That is why you do it, do you not?  Torture your body and brain with drink?  To shut out the voices.  Those of loneliness and despair, of doubt and responsibility.  It is a cheap and easy solution to a difficult problem, Anonymous.  It is the coward's way, and you are no coward"
>Her voice becomes soft again
>"No coward fights the way you did to defend a p0ny when she was in trouble.  Ah, another example of an action that needs its owner to take responsibility.  You could have run from your assailants at the train station, let that bastard tear Rainbow Dash to pieces.  But you didn't, you fought to save her"
>Seriously, what the fuck happened at that train station?
>Fragments of memory come to you
>A bat
>A rock
>A bottle
>Blood
>Faces
>Your leg...
>The memory of the pain makes your stomach churn
>Seemingly ignorant of your frantic search to piece together the events of that night, Luna continues
>"But that is the other downside to your drinking.  The numbness it brings does not allow you feel true belonging and love.  The love that you feel for Rainbow Dash...you tried to drown it that night..."
>You snap at her
"Loved!  L-o-v-e-d, loved!  Past tense!  If you think for a second I still love that..."
>Luna suddenly lets out an irritated cry and gets up, walking away from you
>"Such impudence!  Such arrogance!  Here I stand within the confines of your mind, with all its secrets laid bare before me, and you still think you can lie to me in here!"
>She begins pacing back and forth, huffing to her self
>"I have never, in all my years, met such an infuriating creature!  How Rainbow Dash loves you so is a mystery I will NEVER unravel.  She must have the patience of a stone!"
>The princess continues to fume and rant about how much you "just piss her right the hell off"
>But, you know, in princess-y language
>She finishes her insults and stands still now, taking deep breaths of the cold air
>You chuckle
>"Are you quite done?"
>You state, mockingly
>She glares at you
>"Yes, I suppose I am.  If after all of this, you will still not believe me, then there is no helping you.  I will return you to the waking world now, if you wish"
>You want to say yes, but a sudden thought gives you pause
"W-wait!  Not yet!"
>She raises a brow, skeptically at you, but lets you continue
"Let's say, for a moment, that you're right...that I...could've done things differently and, you know, taken more responsibility for my actions.  If you were me, what could I have done better?"
>She shakes her head
>"That is not for me or even you to decide.  The past is unchanging and immutable, the only advice I can give you, and all you should concern yourself with, is how to move forward.  To shape your future, not to be shaped by your past"
"Then...then what advice do you have for me?"
>The smile returns to her face and she laughs, heartily
>"Oh...oh NOW you want my help?  I should've just threatened you with waking you up earlier, shouldn't I?"
>Her laughter is warm and infectious, you find it hard to suppress a few chuckles yourself
>She finishes her laughing and faces you again
>"Just make this right, Anonymous.  Rainbow is far from blameless for her crimes, but you are not so innocent either.  If you cannot learn to love her, at least learn to forgive her"
>You frown
"I make no promises..."
>She smirks
>"You probably wouldn't keep them anyway...now, just as fair warning, you're probably going to be waking up to a lot of pain..."
>Before you can ask just how much pain, the forest clearing begins to distort and shift
>Your vision tears and you feel as if you were being flung forward
>But then...you're awake
>You're alive...
----------------------------------
>Back in the present
>You remember everything now
>You remember Dash standing against the horde
>You remember both her bravery and her tact as she talked down the mob
>You remember Time Turner smashing her head open with the rock and how it had made you fly into a rage
>You even remember the moment when all was lost, when Big Macintosh sought to finish the job and her...
>Her saving you by telling that big, red p0ny that she loved you
>And now, here you were, about to strangle the p0ny that had probably saved your life
>Your grip fails and you retract your hand, laying it painfully across your stomach
>Rainbow immediately falls from her chair as her body tries to simultaneously take in huge breaths while coughing profusely
>Half a minute of coughing and wheezing passes before she can finally speak
>Her voice comes out weak and raspy
>"What stopped you?"
>You sigh and wince from the pain
"I realized I'd be killing a beautiful creature, one like no other in this world"
>She gets back into her chair at your bedside and meets your gaze, smiling
>"So you do remember..."
"Yeah...yeah, I guess I do"
>A moment of awkward silence passes between you
>You finally break it
"Did you...did you help me during that fight?  I could've swore I saw you pass by me"
>She sighs
>"I tried, Anon...after I managed to stand up again...I saw them attacking you..."
>Her face looks pained
>"Celestia...they were all over you.  Biting and kicking and hitting you with bats and rocks..."
>She looks away
>"I thought it was all over, right then and there"
>She looks back at you and smiles again
>"But I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  Humans...are tough, and there's no quit in them!  You may have not, exactly, been winning that fight, but you sure as hell were planning on taking some of them with you!"
>She winces in pain a little and adjusts her bandage
"Don't fiddle with it, you'll make it worse"
>She grunts
>"I know, I know...anyway, when I saw you hacking and slashing through those stallions, I couldn't very well just leave to your fate, could I?  So I jumped in and gave it my best shot.  Took a couple of 'em down, you know...before..."
>She turns to give you a look at her back
>Her left wing is in a cast
>"After they grounded me, I wasn't much help, I'm afraid"
"Rainbow..."
>"It's fine, don't worry!  It'll heal up and be good as new...just like that will"
>She points to your lower extremities
>You, painfully, turn your gaze in the direction of her hoof
>You see that your leg is wrapped in a cast and suspended in traction
>Great...you were going to an invalid for a while it seems...
>"Anyway, I'm just glad Twilight remembered to tell you that you should give some of your blood to the hospital for storage, in case you needed a transfusion...seems like ol' egghead really came in handy, huh?"
>She laughs again, but quietly
>"She was the one who found us, you know...took us here..."
"I figured that was the case...but how did she even get to us?  Why didn't that mob finish us off?"
>Rainbow smirks a little, pushing out her chest
>"Seems I was able to get in their heads after all.  In fact, when the fighting started, a lot of them ran off, probably just scared of you, but the ones who stayed...well, yeah, they fought...but when we were beaten, they kind of just left"
>She shrugs
>"Guess they didn't want to live with being murderers"
"Guess not..."
>You let the silence linger for a moment
"What'll happen to them?"
>Dash practically spits
>"Well, that dick head Time Turner is in jail now, awaiting a trial...anything they give that bastard is too good for him..."
>Dash's anger subsides and she sighs
>"As for the rest, nothing much, probably.  Their punishments were reduced because they all sold out Time Turner as the instigator and promised never to do it again.  The ones who aren't in the hospital right now have been sent home.  Given fines for disturbing the peace and all that"
>Well...it wasn't exactly the resolution you wanted, but it was something
>"Which reminds me"
>Dash chuckles as she reaches into a bag at her feet, removing a small slip of paper
>"This is for you"
>She's about to hand the paper to you, but thinks twice about making you move your arm and just holds the paper in front of your face
"Charged with public drunkenness...pay 100 bits to..."
>You groan
"Just file it with my others"
>Dash laughs and stows the fine
>"You probably have a really big file cabinet to hold all of these, huh?"
>Despite your foul mood, you can't help but give her a few, painful chuckles, which result in some even more painful coughs
>As you body convulses in agony, Rainbow lays a hoof across your chest
>"Whoa, easy, easy, Anon..."
>When your coughing finally ceases you see her hovering over you, hoof still on your chest, smiling peacefully at you, her face mere inches from yours
>Your glare causes her expression to fall and she retreats back to her seat
>This crazy mare was not about to sweet talk her way back into your good graces so easily
>You think for a moment
"Such light punishments...was the town not willing to send all of their 'noble crusaders' off to the big house?"
>You ask with a sneer
>Rainbow shakes her head
>"It's not like that Anon...nothing like this will ever happen to you in Ponyville again, I promise"
"How can you promise me that?"
>She stares a moment at you, as if expecting you to guess the answer
>You can't, so she continues
>"Because I told the town everything, Anon.  As soon as I was able to walk and talk again, I told them all the truth about what happened between me and you...I told them about how the bottle of Jose Cuerhooves wasn't yours...about how I felt betrayed...and the horrible choice I made..."
>Her eyes fall from yours to look at her hooves
>"So now you don't have to worry about them...you can keep living your life in peace, they don't hate you anymore"
>Wow
>That...that must've taken some courage.  You couldn't imagine confessing something like that to an entire town
>You have to admit...that was pretty selfless, she could've just kept all of that information to herself
>She would look like an even bigger hero then.  A p0ny who was betrayed by you and STILL came to your rescue?  Dash would've been Ponyville's biggest hero since...well, since the last time her and her friends saved Equestria
>As you stare up at the ceiling, you can still feel Dash's gaze upon you
>"So..."
>She begins, warily
>"Now that we know that's all taken care of...we should probably talk..."
>You 'hmmph' and continue to stare at the ceiling
"There's nothing to talk about, Dash.  The way I see it, we're even now, you helped cause this and you helped fix it"
>You face her again
"I probably wouldn't be alive right now if you hadn't come after me...so thank you, I mean it.  But that just means we can go back to the way things were before all this nonsense and nothing more.  Before the kissing booths..."
>"No!"
>Dash interrupts
>"You know we can't just do that...we can't just go back to the way things were...I don't want to go back to that...to hating you"
>She sniffs
>"The board is set, Anon, the cards are dealt...and we've got to play them...I have to explain myself to you if we're going to move forward and move past this"
>To move past this...to shape the future...
>You knew now that Luna was right, you can't retreat into the past any more
>You have to go through the nasty, dirty, messy process of carving a path into the future
>Still, you can't help but tease Dash for her dramatic language
"When did you get so poetic all of a sudden?"
>She giggles, winces, and rubs her head
>"Hey, I'm not some dumb jock, Anon!  I like to read!"
>She rolls her eyes
>"And besides, the hospital's Daring Do books were all being used by other ponies, probably those damn stallions"
>She laughs
>"So, I kinda was forced to read some old stuff while you were out.  See?"
>She holds up a book and you examine the title
>MacBridle, by Shakesp0ny...oh, come on!  Enough with the goddamn horse puns!
>Before you can comment on just how lame of a fucking title that is, Dash chucks the book aside and stares you down with those rose colored eyes
>"So...you'll let me try to explain myself?"
>You grunt and look down at your busted leg
"Well, I'm certainly not going anywhere in a hurry...so go ahead and say what you've got to say..."
>You mutter under your breath
"Probably won't change a damn thing..."
>"Maybe, maybe not, Anon.  But I've got to try...you're just that important to me"
>She sighs and collects herself before beginning
>"When I was little..."
>Oh shit, we're going way back here
>"My dad...well, for the most part he was pretty great"
>That must've been nice, you think in self pity
>"He was brave, and strong, and funny...he was almost a Wonderbolt, you know!  Before I could fly, he would carry me around on his back and zip around all over Cloudsdale!  But...he had a problem"
>She grimaces
>"He was irresponsible, reckless, and...and an alcoholic"
>She fixes you with a stern gaze
>Not wishing to let her make any comparisons, you interject
"Yes, and?"
>She huffs
>"And he was a user.  As I got older, I found that he didn't care about me or my mom...he was always out of a job, always scrounging from anyone who would give him a bit here or there.  And all those bits went straight to the bar"
>She shakes her head
>"I couldn't figure out why in the hay my mom stayed with that low life...she had to work two jobs and forced me to get one when I got old enough.  You wanna know why I'm such a good weather p0ny?  Because unlike all the other school fillies who got to go play or study after class, my mom forged my birth certificate to make it say that I was older, so I got to start working the clouds as soon as I hit puberty!  At reduced pay, of course, but still...we needed that money just to get by!  Just so we could eat AND support dear old dad's addiction!"
>She huffs in anger
>"Day in and day out, I went to class, and then straight to the weather factory...that was my life, Anon, for years.  Oh, and get this!  When I didn't have hardly any time to study, when I finally started failing out...my bucking dad has the nerve to come home drunk one night and blame me for it all!"
>Dash is starting to seethe, the hurtful memories tearing at her
>"Called me a failure, a disgrace to the family, a bucking loser...I couldn't take it anymore after that...I snapped, I beat the shit out of him right in front of my mother.  And you know what she did?"
>She turns to you, her face twisted in hatred
>"She blamed me!  Kicked me right the buck out!  At 17, she kicked me out on the street!"
>Rainbow is breathing heavily through clenched teeth, old hatreds taking hold of her
>Your sympathies get the better of you and you stretch out your hand, barely feeling the pain it causes you
"Hey...Dash..."
>She clutches your hand, fervently with both hooves
>"It's fine, Anon...I'm fine..."
>She breathes easier now and holds your hand to her chest
>The contact seems to soothe her and she calms down, still holding your hand like a child holds a blanket
>"Luckily, I was good friends with Fluttershy by that time.  She let me stay with her and her folks until I got all my records fixed and got a real job a year later, as a real weather p0ny and not some child slave working for peanuts"
>She nuzzles the ends of your fingertips and continues
>"Anyway, some time passed...and then I met him"
>She lets out a long breath
>"Sky Lance...right off the bat, he seemed like the complete package.  Like dad, he was strong and fast and made me laugh...but HE actually had a damn job, HE seemed like he was actually going places..."
"But?"
>"But...also like dad...he also turned out to be reckless and unreliable and-"
"Let me guess.  A fan of the sauce?"
>She frowns
>"Yeah...at first I just thought he liked to party, that he could keep it under control.  You know, a work hard, play hard kind of guy, and I liked that...but he kept drinking, kept making demands of me.  Demanded I have his flight suit cleaned and pressed when he got home, demanded I have dinner and a beer on the table or else...demanded I...satisfy him...whenever he wanted...I don't want to sound like a whiner or a bad girlfriend, Anon...it's just that when he didn't get what he wanted..."
>She shudders
>"He took it out on me...when Fluttershy and my other friends started seeing the bruises, they started asking a lot of questions.  I know now they only wanted me to be safe, but I didn't listen..."
>She sighs and pulls your hand to her face, rubbing it against her muzzle for comfort
>Suddenly realizing what she's doing, Dash sheepishly smiles and lowers your hand
>She doesn't let go, however
>"Eventually I wised up, figured out that I was no different than my mom when it came to stallions...no different than the same mare I had hated for so long for being with that user...so I decided to leave him...b-but..."
"But Sky Lance had other ideas?"
>She holds your hand with a great deal of tightness to her chest and doesn't look you in the eye
>"Y-Yeah...when I told him I was leaving...Anon, he was so much stronger than I was...h-he cornered me in the bedroom a-and-"
"I get the picture, Dash"
>She lowers her head and sniffs quietly
>A deafening silence fills the small hospital room, the steady beep of the heart monitor registers in your brain for the first time in a while
"Well...that's...that's really something, Dash.  Heh, you know, my dad was quite the piece of shit too...and was also real bad with money...I can kind of relate your situation and know how you feel"
>Her only answer is another sniffle
"But what does that have to do with us?"
>She looks up at you, incredulously
>"It has EVERYTHING to do with us!"
>The look you're giving her must be quite off-putting as she frowns, her voice falling
>"I mean...it has everything to do with me"
>She lets your hand fall and you return it to your side on the bed
>"Anon...when you first came here to Equestria, I didn't think much of you...but when I saw how you behaved, how you acted..."
>Her face lights up
>"You reminded me of all the good things about those two bastards...you were strong, and fast, and brave, and funny, and you didn't take shit from anyp0ny!"
>As quickly as her smile came, it vanishes now
>"But like them, you also liked to drink, to dull whatever pain you had in alcohol...and then every time I saw you, I was reminded of them...that's why I was such an awful bitch to you, Anon...that's why I treated you so badly, I thought you were just like them...that's why when you kissed me that day...I flipped...I completely lost it, it brought back all those bad memories of Sky Lance and my dad...and how I just constantly fall for rotten bastards..."
>Dash's eagerness to speak subsides and she slouches in her chair
>"That's why, when we became workout buddies, I asked you to stop drinking...I wanted to find out if you were really like them...if you were the master of your alcohol or if it mastered you...if you had all their good qualities without all their bad ones"
>She smiles and brings a hoof to your face, slowly stroking it
>For some reason, you can't bring yourself to brush her away
>"But I didn't lie at the party...what I saw, I liked, a LOT...and I didn't lie at the train station either...there is so much more to you...you can keep up with me, you make me laugh, you let me tease you and you tease me right back...and what's more...you AREN'T like them, you aren't a user!  You're your own stallion, no, your own man...dependent on no one but your own two hands"
>Without warning, Dash grabs your hand again and rubs it against her face
>"That's when I fell in love with you, Anon...that's when I knew you were the one for me"
>Despite her joy at feeling your hand against her face, she frowns again
>"But when I thought you were using me, like they did, I went crazy again...I guess I was just taking out all my rage for them on you"
>She lets your hand fall and backs into her seat again
>"I'm not telling you all this to excuse myself, Anon.  What I did was monstrous and terrible and I don't expect your forgiveness...at least not right away..."
>She leans in close and speaks softly now
>"But I want you to know that I LOVE you, Anon.  I love you with all my heart, and I will never stop loving you...and even if it takes the rest of my life to prove that to you...I will NEVER stop trying.  And if I can't earn your love, I'll at least try to earn your forgiveness"
>You lay in stunned silence, mouth hanging open
>Never in your life would you have expected that to come out of anyone's mouth...especially not hers
>You can't even begin to decide what you feel about this
>Do you feel insulted?  Confused?  Do you tell her that it's never going to happen?  That she hurt you too bad?  Do you just forgive her on the spot and gain a girlfriend who will love you forever?
>No...no, you can't do that...part of you wishes you could...but you can't
>She wipes her eyes and chuckles a little
>"Whew!  Sorry, Anon, I don't usually get that emotional"
>Dash reaches towards you again and gives you a gentle noogie
>"I guess you just bring it out of me, you knucklehead!"
>Once again, silence fills the room
>"So...uh...I think this is the part where you say something?"
>She chuckles awkwardly
"I just...I just have one question..."
>"Anything"
>Her reply is nearly breathless
"Rainbow...why?  Why did you REALLY come to my rescue that night?"
>You wince again in pain
"Why did you save me?"
>She squints at you
>"I thought I just told you, Anon.  Because I lo-"
"Don't say that!  Don't fucking say that!"
>You pay for your outburst instantly as your body betrays you in pain
>When you can see and speak again, you see that Rainbow is sobbing softly into a hoof
>"But...but it's true, Anon..."
"I don't care if it is, you're not getting off with an answer like that!"
>She tears her hoof away and faces you
>Her face is twisted up in anger and tears
>"Then what the buck do you want me to say?!"
"I just want you to say why you saved me...without saying...that"
>"Why not, Anon?!  Why isn't that a good enough reason?!"
"Because...because I don't believe you..."
>Her mouth drops
>"W-What?  But it's true, Anon!  I wouldn't lie to you about this!"
"What makes me any different from those bastards who hurt you, huh?  You think I'm so great?!  I'm just another drunk fool who will probably hurt you, no wait, I AM just another drunk fool who HAS hurt you!  Did you ever stop to consider that maybe you DO just have a big, goddamn problem picking out stallions?!  I'm a fucking mess, Rainbow!"
>She shakes her head, violently
>"No!  No, I won't believe that!  You are wonderful, Anon, even if you're too stupid sometimes to see that!  You know how I know that?"
"Oh, well this ought to be great!  Yeah, tell me how I'm NOT a piece of shit who used you, go ahead!"
>"Because neither my Dad or Sky Lance ever told me they were shit!  They went on and on about how great they were and how terrible I was!  But never in my life has somep0ny like you ever admitted to being anything less than perfect!"
>She takes a few deep breaths and continues
>"THAT'S what makes you different, Anonymous!  You know you've got problems and you're willing to look them right in the face!  What's more, you were willing to spend two whole weeks with me denying yourself the thing that's kept you going since you came here!  I can't change you, Anon, I can't fix all your problems...but you were willing to fix your own!  Tell me you didn't feel better at that party!  Tell me you didn't feel better as we spent more and more time together!  Tell me you didn't bucking learn to love me too!!"
>She grits her teeth and shoves her angry face in yours
>"Don't lie to me, Anon!  I know you loved me!  You told me that yourself!  You were getting better on your own, with just a little help from me!"
>She falls back in her seat, choking back a cry and slamming her eyes shut, trying to bury the tears
>When she can compose herself, she finally speaks
>"But if that's not good enough for you right now...fine...I'll tell you another reason why I saved you...I saved you that night because my baggage is my baggage, Anon.  It's not the town's baggage, it's not your baggage, it's MINE!  And nop0ny, especially not you, deserves to carry it around and suffer for it!"
>She breathes heavily for a moment before sniffing and wiping her nose with a hoof
>"There...happy?  I gave you a reason for saving your sorry flank that didn't involve the harsh truth that I can't help but love you!"
>No...you weren't happy
>But not because of her answer
>You just hated everything about this situation
>Could she really say that after all this and mean it?  'I love you'?
>Could you?
>Probably not...but that doesn't stop you from wondering
>"Well?"
>You turn to face Dash
"I guess that makes sense..."
>She huffs and looks away from you now, crossing her forelegs
>She's clearly annoyed at you and hurt
>You don't want it to, but from somewhere deep in your touchy feely heart of hearts, a question comes bubbling forth
"I hope you didn't catch too much trouble for telling the town about what really happened"
>She looks at you out of the corner of her eye, still pouting
"I'd...well I'd hate to know that you made yourself the new town pariah instead of me"
>She drops her forelegs and sighs
>"No, Anon, it's fine.  I may have lost a lot of favor in this town"
>She grimaces
>"A lot more than I wanted to...with p0nies I really care about..."
>She looks at you again
>"You may not want to hear this...but seeing you alive and well...it makes it all worth it, Anon"
>You weren't sure what you wanted to hear anymore
>Clearly, this mare is either crazy or she really is in love with you
>Probably both
>You're having a hard time discerning your own motives when you say
"So how much favor did you lose, anyway?"
>She huffs
>"Oh, what do you care?"
"I care, Dash"
>"Why?"
>She's back to crossing her forelegs, scrutinizing you closely
"Because I-"
>You fumble over what words to say
>Without moving, she smirks at you
>"'Don't say that...don't fucking say that...'"
>She states, mocking you now
"I wasn't going to"
>You snarl
>You let your thoughts simmer for a moment before continuing
>Luna was right, you realize, you had to start taking responsibility here
>No more hiding behind Rainbow's misdeeds, no more running from your part in this
"I care because...because I'm also to blame for all of this.  Rainbow...I know I hurt you, I used you.  I should've told you why I was being nice to you.  I should've told you that I was just looking for an apology to get the town off my back.  And for that, you have my deepest apologies"
>She stares at you, jaw tightly shut, waiting for you to go on
"I don't know if you can ever forgive me, Dash...but I hope that in time, you will"
>She sniffs
>"You didn't apologize for letting me kiss you at the party..."
>Here comes the hardest part, have to do this carefully...
"I know...I didn't apologize for that because...because that part wasn't a lie"
>Painfully, you reach out your hand and lay it on her hooves
"I meant every moment of that kiss...You were right, you know, I really did love you, Rainbow Dash...I was just too stupid to see that until you kissed me.  I should've told you about that as well, and I'm sorry for that too"
>Still staring intently at your face, she pulls one hoof from underneath your hand and lays it on top, massaging your hand between her extremities
>"A-And now?"
"I...I just don't know..."
>She sniffs and lowers her head, nodding
>Rainbow then moves your hand up to her face and kisses the back of it softly several times
>As if on instinct, your hand begins to move to stroke the side of her face
>She lays one hoof on the back your hand and the other lightly on your arm, just below the wrist
>She closes her eyes and moans appreciatively as your digits caress behind her ear
>"Ohhhhh, Anon..."
>She moans, breathlessly, eyelids fluttering
>You find out quickly that a certain part of your anatomy remains undamaged and in working condition
>Rainbow suddenly shudders and pulls your hand away
>"No..."
>She gently moves your hand and arm back to a resting position across your stomach
>"No...if you're not sure...then I shouldn't want that right now...I need to let you figure it out what you feel before I do anything more"
>She sighs before returning to her seat
>"Now, to answer your question...about me and the town"
>She pauses, shifting in her seat uncomfortably, you could tell this was going to be difficult
>"Like I said, I'm not a pariah.  Some of the p0nies gave me weird looks...some just thought of it as a 'Tartarus hath no fury' thing..."
>They have that saying here, too?  Huh...
>"But the worst part...the worst part is that...after the party...my friends weren't fooled like the town was"
>You could sense a new wave of tears coming on
>"They let me know just how they felt...let me know the truth, that what I had done was unforgivable...and they stopped being my friends that day..."
>Oh shit, this was heavy
"B-But, you guys are the elements of harmony and all that nonsense!  They couldn't possibly-"
>"They did, Anon!"
>She chokes on a sob
>"They abandoned me...and they were right to..."
>She looks into your eyes.  It's like the life has gone out of them
>"I have nop0ny, Anon...I'm all alone now"
>You know that feeling all too well...being alone
>Despite your decidedly mixed and confused feelings for Dash, you don't think you would wish that feeling on anyone
>Ah, hell, you know you wouldn't wish it on her in a million years
>"Who am I kidding..."
>She continues
>"I've proven over and over again that I don't deserve friends, I don't deserve a special somep0ny...I just fuck it all up"
>You chuckle a little
>You answer her suddenly angry gaze with your calm one
"What's with you and saying 'fuck' instead of 'buck' recently?  You've been doing that more and more"
>A smile is forced out of her
>"I guess you're just a bad influence on me, Anon...but one I'm willing to live with"
>You make a fist and tap the side of her face with it, the movement is strangely not so painful anymore
>You can tell she wants to grab your hand again, but she restrains herself
>Letting your hand fall back to your side, you look back up at the ceiling
"I don't think life is so much about what you deserve or don't deserve, Rainbow...I think it's more about knowing what you want and finding others who want the same thing, then trying to be happy together"
>She thinks on your sentence for a minute
>"Yeah...I kinda like that..."
>You chuckle
"Thought you might"
>She fiddles a little with her bandages again
>"Well...I think what my friends want is to never see me again...got any little quotes for that, mister philosopher?"
>She giggles derisively at you
"Smart ass...I do have one, though.  Some p0ny told me once that she was willing to do anything it took, even if it meant the rest of her life, to show someone else that she loved him, you could maybe apply that strategy to your friends, you know"
>Through the pain, you readjust yourself in your bed
>Dash rolls her eyes
>"Now who's being a smart ass?  But yeah...I get your point, Anon.  It might take a while to earn their friendship again...but they're definitely worth it.  So..."
>She scoots her chair closer to the bed, probably figuring she's earned at least a little trust by this point
>"...do you think that p0ny who told you that ever got her wish?  That she was ever able to prove her love to that lucky guy?"
>You attempt a shrug
"Who's to say, Dash?  It probably took her some time, but..."
>You face her again, smiling
"I'm sure that guy was glad she never stopped trying"
>Rainbow smiles that beautiful smile, the one you were used to seeing on a regular basis, the one she gave you at the train station in the moonlight
>"And I'm sure she kept at it as long as she was able..."
>The door to the hospital room opens suddenly and you both turn to see a white nurse p0ny enter the room
>"Okay, you two, I'm afraid visiting hours are over, even for patients.  Come on now, miss Dash, you and Anon both need your rest"
>"But-"
>"Ah, ah, ah!  No 'buts', missy!  Now off you go"
>Dash frowns and turns to you
>"See you tomorrow?  So that mare can keep trying?"
"Yeah, Dash...that lucky guy can't wait"
>She moves to leave, but hesitates for a second
>"Ah, fuck it"
>Quick as a whip, she moves in close and kisses you on the nose
>"See ya!"
>And like that, she trots quickly out of the room
>The nurse approaches your bedside, chuckling to herself before checking your bandages
>"Nice to know you have somep0ny to commiserate with, isn't it?  I always say that a stallion heals faster when he has a pretty girlfriend at his side"
>You lean back and close your eyes
"Oh, she's not my girlfriend...just a friend..."
>As sleep begins to take you, you speak quietly to no one in particular
"One day...I hope she'll be a great friend..."


The End