maybe do this as scp

Oh, Jesus Christ. *sigh*

Angelic-looking child (and seriously, how much blonder or blue-eyed-er could that kid get?) that turns into MASSIVE DEMON FROM HELL when you speak its True Name. I actually find this offensive. Not for the religious aspects, but that you handle the religious aspects so poorly.

In no particular order:

■5m x 5m x 10m? Is there any particular reason we're keeping him/it in a room that's ~33 feet high? Yes, its demon form is roughly 5m tall, but the room is still twice that!
■D-Class, not Class D.
■Just ban all religious materials or discussions entirely rather than picking out Revelations. Better safe than sorry after all, and who knows if discussions of other religious Apocalypses will trigger it. (Ragnarok, here we come!) Hell, that MIGHT be a more interesting interpretation, where mention of an Apocalypse makes it turn into an antagonist of that one. (Ice Giants, ho!)
■"[A]pproximately 2-5 years of age"? There's a pretty big difference in kids' mental & physical development over that range. Narrow it down.
■Stuff dealing with "a normal human child of that age range". Again, pretty big difference in development over that age range. A 2 y/o is going to react much differently than a 5 y/o.
■We can't weigh the demon, but we're able to get fairly precise meaurements of its horns and claws. Yeah.
■"Subject’s eyes rapidly flicker red, yellow, and orange" Seriously? *sigh* "It's eyes were like fire, flickering with all the FLAMES OF HELL!!! Yeah, no.
■"6.66 seconds" Oh for fuck's sake. Look, there's implying that this is a Christian Demon, and then there's beating the reader over the head with it.
■"After victim has been entirely consumed by 361-1, subject will close its mouth and make 1 swallowing motion" Completely and totally unneccessary. "Jim popped the tic-tac in his mouth and chewed 3 times, then swallowed once."
■Document 361-a: "Oh, I used a Satanic ritual to make my perfect baby and now he's demonic! Who could ever have predicted this! And I can't handle my grief/horror/guilt, so I'm going to abandon him in a crowded mall where he can 'accidentally' kill a lot more people! That's just the responsible thing to do!"
In short: humanoids are notoriously difficult to write well, and there's a reason that we discourage people from trying to write one as their first SCP. Add a very heavy-handed religious element to it and you're just begging for trouble. I honestly cannot see any way that this concept can work without a MASSIVE conceptual do-over, and even then it'd be iffy.

Reply  |  Options Unfold by Drewbear, 9 Nov 2012, 08:50 Fold Gaffney 9 Nov 2012, 09:02
"6.66 seconds" Oh for fuck's sake. Look, there's implying that this is a Christian Demon, and then there's beating the reader over the head with it.

This is what irked me most of all. 666 isn't some catch-all number for EVERYSINGLE DEMON EVAR IN THE HORDES OF HELL!!!11 It's used as a marker for the Beast From The Sea in Revelations. Which, depending on who you ask, is a coding of the name of the Roman Emperor Nero, just as, again, depending on who you ask, all of Revelations is a coding of the destruction of the Roman Empire by the forces of God. Now, if someone were to do that as a SCP, rather than a demon what eats u, I would upvote the hell out of it.

Also, isn't Michael the name of the archangels? Or is that the point or something?

Just ban all religious materials or discussions entirely rather than picking out Revelations. Better safe than sorry after all, and who knows if discussions of other religious Apocalypses will trigger it. (Ragnarok, here we come!) Hell, that MIGHT be a more interesting interpretation, where mention of an Apocalypse makes it turn into an antagonist of that one. (Ice Giants, ho!)

Something turning into antagonist of whatever story is mentioned could be a fun one, maybe.
I imagine the containment would include mentioning something like Dallas, because J.R.Ewing wouldn't be hard to contain - old human with no combat skills.
But that's just a silly aside.