One month passes
An eternity in seconds,
Tearing my heart out again and again
A perverted Promethean desire
For self-destruction.
I yearn.

 To change who I am-- It would be
The greatest gift one could give
To be someone different
Someone less than what I am,
Someone more than what I can be,
Without you.

Love passed between us,
A fleeting dream of two hearts
That never really beat as one
Funny the guises we took
Told our story
More than we ever told theirs.

Whether I want homecoming,
Or absolute loathing
I don’t know anymore
Hating to love you or loving to hate you
And I’m locking it all away
Throwing into the ocean my soul has made
To guide you home, home, home.

I was wrong.
The heart hurts no matter where it beats,
Away from the cage of a chest or
Softly, slowly, with you if you’d have it.
I, writing tirelessly words you will never read,
Singing songs that we’ll never sing,
The one thing I hope for,
The one thing that is denied me.

I don’t love enough, easily
Pessimism is my second skin,
A shield against a harsh storm--
Was I wrong?
The moment I love is the second I lose,
Betraying all that I am,
All that you said.

Just like the monster in the tide.

“I do not love you.”