The Swing of Things (2020) EN

1
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,392
[airplane overhead]

2
00:00:58,476 --> 00:01:00,728
[upbeat hip hop music]

3
00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:16,702
[mumbling]

4
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:33,761
[man] All right.
So... save the day... [indistinct]

5
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:37,181
All right. All right.
Here we go. Okay.

6
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,058
Think about the future,
think about...

7
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:45,022
The power is in... future.

8
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,650
- [man] Tommy, let's go!
- Is inside all of us.

9
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,278
- That's good.
- Let's do this!

10
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,588
- Get rid of the cheap bike!
- Hold on, I'm coming, I'm coming...

11
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,618
- Damn it.
- Come on.

12
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:00,913
- Tommy.
- I'll take...

13
00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:01,998
Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I know...

14
00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:03,874
- Did you have sex last night?
- No, I didn't...

15
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,668
I know. But listen, this is important.

16
00:02:05,669 --> 00:02:07,127
This is the biggest meeting of our lives...

17
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,363
- I know, I know, I know. I'm... I'm...
- And you look stressed out,

18
00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:11,540
and I think you really need
to just go to that conference room

19
00:02:11,624 --> 00:02:13,926
and just jerk one off.
It will make you operate.

20
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,594
Like, through the body.

21
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,154
- I'm not doing this.
- You know what I mean?

22
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[woman]
Oh, today's a nice day.

23
00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,476
You know, you guys are my best friends.

24
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,479
I really mean it. Okay, puppies.

25
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Don't be mean.

26
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,567
Just come this way. Come on.

27
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- [dog barking]
- Oh.

28
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,821
Oh, God. Uh... oh.

29
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,407
No, that's my leg.

30
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,701
Come on.

31
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- Come on. You're gonna go this way.
- [phone ringing]

32
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,040
- Oh, that's the phone.
- Crazy. Yeah...

33
00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:46,876
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
Okay. This is him.

34
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:50,671
It's him. Oh, God.
This is him.

35
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[screams]

36
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[screams]

37
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Get over here. No.

38
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Oh, God.

39
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,311
Come on.

40
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- Get inside.
- Ooh. Now, where have you been?

41
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,149
Come, come, come, come, come.
Come. Gonna make this.

42
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[whistles] Come on. Come on.

43
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I was walking the dog.

44
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Right... Okay.

45
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Nervous energy before the show.

46
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Yeah... You look like shit.

47
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[dog whimpers]

48
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,874
What's wrong with the way I look?

49
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,712
You're not gonna believe
who called me today.

50
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:34,382
I got a call from the fashion house.

51
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,800
And?

52
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,094
I didn't listen to it,
because I was a little scared...

53
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[groans] Okay.
You need to stop being so chickenshit.

54
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,391
- I just wanted to listen to it with you.
- You can handle more than you think.

55
00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:44,975
- Okay. Well...
- Give it to me.

56
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,480
[woman on phone]
Bonjour. I regret to inform you

57
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,857
<i>that we are declining
to carry your designs.</i>

58
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,360
<i>We wish you the best of luck
with your future endeavors.</i>

59
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,986
Au revoir.

60
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,155
It's okay. There's another message,
there's another one.

61
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[woman on phone]
Hi, honey. It's Mom.

62
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,618
<i>I'm trying to send you
that thousand dollars you need...</i>

63
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:08,040
Are you borrowing money
from your parents again?

64
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,793
- I'm such a mess.
- Oh, no, babe...

65
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,962
- Everything's gone wrong.
- No, you're not a mess.

66
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,589
You just... You just need
a little bit of TLC.

67
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:16,841
- That's all.
- [indistinct]

68
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,635
Hey, look. You're gonna be great.

69
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:23,097
Okay? I'll fix you up.
I'll fix all of this.

70
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,073
They're gonna love you.
They're gonna love your designs,

71
00:04:25,074 --> 00:04:26,475
the buyers are going to give you an order

72
00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,270
that'll transcend
your wildest dreams, yeah?

73
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,022
- Yeah?
- I don't know. If you say so.

74
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,066
Okay. All right, love.

75
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,861
Um, but maybe you should just
have a little shower first.

76
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:42,158
[woman on phone] <i>Hello, thank you
for calling Schmiegel Ad Agency.</i>

77
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,834
- <i>How can I direct your call?</i>
- [phone ringing]

78
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:55,588
[man] Tom? One day,
this will all be yours.

79
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,260
I built this whole empire,

80
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:05,931
and my number one achievement to this day,
MOFO Moonshine.

81
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,100
Look at this art. Look at it.

82
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,936
"Lick, swallow, and suck.
No limes needed."

83
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:15,649
It's like a Picasso ofjizz
that came out of me onto this canvas.

84
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,151
Yeah.

85
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,864
[exhales]

86
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,910
- I cannot do no wrong.
- [door opens]

87
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,164
He's early, so we are leaving.

88
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,875
- Now.
- All right.

89
00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:43,719
Whoa... Whoa, check this out.

90
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,055
- Holy smokes!
- Hey, hey, wait. No, no, no, no...

91
00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:47,089
How do you turn this thing on?

92
00:05:47,173 --> 00:05:49,107
You're gonna break your neck.
Those things are death traps.

93
00:05:49,191 --> 00:05:51,100
They kill people all the time.
You can't even ride a bike.

94
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,053
- You're gonna shoot through the roof...
- [doors opening]

95
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,799
Mr. Johnson,
if you can wait one moment to...

96
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,177
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
No man stands in front of the boss.

97
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,180
Unless Little Jerry says so.

98
00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:29,682
[dog whimpers]

99
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,518
Little Jerry, what do you say?

100
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,353
[dog whimpers]

101
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:36,564
He said it's okay.

102
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,148
All right.
What do you got, Irene?

103
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,693
Um, well, we have the projection
all set up for you.

104
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,570
Come on. Wow me. [chuckles]

105
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,572
Right. Okay. Well, you know,

106
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,783
we were thinking to focus on this amazing
innovation you created, and...

107
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,744
Well, uh, Elon Musk, he has innovation.

108
00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,247
- Next.
- Let's take the future technology

109
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,833
and make it available
for the consumer today.

110
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,252
Apple. Smart and affordable. Next.

111
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[muttering]

112
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,633
- What do you got?
- Bye-bye.

113
00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:11,181
"Johnson Jetpacks.
Making the future fun again."

114
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,854
What did you say?

115
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,398
"Making the future fun again."

116
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,234
Well, Mr. Johnson, we're a quarter
of the way into the 21st century,

117
00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:25,738
but the future isn't nearly
as cool or wild as we dreamed.

118
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:28,407
Until today.

119
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,227
By making the future fun,
we open the world's imagination.

120
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:32,611
- I mean, look at this thing.
- No, I...

121
00:07:32,694 --> 00:07:33,912
It is a beauty!

122
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,539
This isn't just a jetpack
that you created.

123
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,833
It's like a... it's like, uh...

124
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,210
- A vibrator for the mind.
- Yes!

125
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,879
It's like a vibrator for your mind.

126
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,956
And what does the world need
more than vibration right now?

127
00:07:44,039 --> 00:07:45,716
Nothing. The world needs vibration.

128
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:49,553
So why don't you get over here,
just strap on, ride hard,

129
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:53,682
and blast off in a Johnson Jetpack?

130
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,561
Tomorrow...

131
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is today.

132
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,067
Idiots...

133
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,198
You're saying it's like sex?

134
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,326
Riding them hard and wet?
Tomorrow is today?

135
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,744
Is that what you're telling me?

136
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,829
I just wanna apologize, that was...

137
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,332
It's genius! It's brilliant!

138
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,751
Where were you hiding this guy?
You got a Don Draper on your team.

139
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:24,046
And you, vibrations.
Genius, genius.

140
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,715
Why do you act so stupid?
And who are you?

141
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,634
Uh, my name's Tom.

142
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:29,885
- Tom.
- Tom,

143
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,262
you're gonna be the new face
of the Johnson Jetpack.

144
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,807
Now put that helmet on.
Let me see you in that jetpack.

145
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,144
- Good, good.
- Uh...

146
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,814
- Model that baby.
- Uh, okay.

147
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,107
Oh, I like it.

148
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,567
I think it's... I think it's on, man.

149
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,503
- [powering up]
- I think it's on. Get this off of me.

150
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,864
Oh... shit.

151
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,786
[yells] You pushed the wrong button.

152
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,746
I told you this was stupid.

153
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,331
[yelling]

154
00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:02,000
[Mr. Johnson] Excellent!
Watch your head.

155
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,335
[yelling] Stop!

156
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,464
Man, that thing's way faster
than I thought it would be.

157
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,883
- [yelling]
- Oh! That's gotta hurt.

158
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,678
<i>- </i> [yelling]
<i>- </i> Oh my gosh!

159
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,304
What's he doing?

160
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,682
- [clanging]
- Oh. Good thing he's wearing a helmet.

161
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,350
[grunting]

162
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,106
[yelling]

163
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,900
Fuck you, Ricky!

164
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,944
- Look out!
- [all yelling]

165
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,868
Hmm.

166
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,079
Okay. The finishing touches.

167
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,916
- All right.
- Don't do too much of that stuff.

168
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,836
- Okay.
- Okay. Just a little.

169
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,089
Why is this mascara so clumpy?

170
00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:51,258
Did it expire?
Does mascara expire?

171
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,219
I don't know. Honestly,
I don't really care what I look like.

172
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,138
It's not like I'm trying to get picked up.

173
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,307
Yeah, because that would be a nightmare.

174
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,435
Men are a pointless distraction.

175
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,437
That's kind of the point, babe.

176
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,942
Speaking of distractions,
I sent Molly out for the night.

177
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:11,361
Thank God.
She's a roommate from hell.

178
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,988
I don't know.
I think that I have enough on.

179
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,199
Is this... Am I good?
Do I look...

180
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,992
You look beautiful.

181
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:28,754
Honestly, I just really need this to work.

182
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,257
It's going to be great.

183
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,967
It's gonna be a hit.

184
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:37,387
Those bitches have never looked better.

185
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,723
- Do you really mean that?
- Yes, I do.

186
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,058
Okay.

187
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,396
[sighs] Well, let's go kill it.

188
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,066
Yeah, let's go kill it.

189
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,902
And we have Miss Kesha
Rockefeller Jones.

190
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,071
She will go "boom, boom" in your room

191
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:59,159
in a custom jumpsuit
made of authentic jersey polyester.

192
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:08,752
Is that my boxed wine?
Someone's gonna have to pay for that.

193
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,547
Molly? What are you doing here?
[chuckles]

194
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,383
Tonight is my doggy fashion show.

195
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,260
I thought you were joking.

196
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,095
Uh, okay.

197
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,056
So, Laura, why don't you get
our next doggy model ready?

198
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,309
And, Molly,
why don't you go to your room?

199
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,312
Now. We can...
Kind of little busy here.

200
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,731
I brought Laura a friend.

201
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,902
Because everyone knows
that she could use a good fuck.

202
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:37,781
Okay. That's enough.
Just... go to your room.

203
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,199
This one's for you.

204
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:42,703
- Meet Mateo.
- I'm Matias. He's Mateo.

205
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,539
[Speaking Spanish]

206
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:49,042
Mateo. Ma-tat-o.
Who gives a fuck?

207
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,627
He's hot and horny,

208
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,881
and he has hasn't shot a load
in over two weeks.

209
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,426
Get ready because his dick's gonna be like
a McDonald's milkshake machine.

210
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,802
[hissing sound]

211
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,262
[groans]

212
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,849
Okay. Isn't she a riot?

213
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,810
Okay. Can you please just leave?

214
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,186
Yeah.

215
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,813
Fine.

216
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,065
I was gonna share,
but since you're being so rude,

217
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,276
I won't. Come on.

218
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,863
Where were we? [chuckles]

219
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:24,119
[exhales] Are you sure
these people are real buyers?

220
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,956
Yes. I found them online.
They had great reviews.

221
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,417
- [belching]
- Huh. Who's the charmer?

222
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,712
[Laura] He's a Pet Core representative.
Employee of the month.

223
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:39,134
- [Georgia] And the cat lady?
- Uh, she's the owner of Feline's Behinds.

224
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:43,388
- [Georgia] And... Judas?
- [Laura] Uh, he just showed up.

225
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,350
Oh, okay.

226
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,218
- Laura, why don't you get...
- This isn't happening,

227
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,270
- this isn't happening.
- ...our next doggie model?

228
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,356
[upbeat music plays]

229
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:02,032
[Molly] Yeah, that's my boy, whoo-hoo!

230
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,660
[laughing, screaming]

231
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:08,664
Fuck, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, daddy, hit the spot!

232
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,582
Oh, fuck!
[moaning]

233
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,209
- [elephant trumpets]
- [Molly] Oh, yeah!

234
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,835
- Oh, fuck!
- [slapping]

235
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,462
Oh, fuck, daddy!
Keep going.

236
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,339
Keep going. Oh, yeah!

237
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,716
- Oh, fuck. Slap that ass! Slap it!
- [clattering]

238
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,969
[moaning] Fuck, yeah.

239
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:25,305
Oh, yeah. [moaning]

240
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,473
Oh, yeah!

241
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,476
- This house needs an exorcism.
- [Molly] Oh! Oh, yeah!

242
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,270
Uh, okay.
Look, look, um, just wait.

243
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:35,148
The... the... tuxedo.
Tuxedo.

244
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:39,361
You haven't seen anything yet.
This is the grand finale.

245
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:43,782
What kind of bridal party would it be
if your little furry friends,

246
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,202
furry friends couldn't
walk down the aisle with them?

247
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:53,417
You'll say "I do"
to the exquisite designs of Doggie Style.

248
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,710
[Molly moaning]

249
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,549
[sheep bleating]

250
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,719
[elephant trumpets]

251
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,179
Look, I'm just the cashier for Pet Core.

252
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,473
I think I responded
to the wrong ad. Sorry.

253
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,059
Um, do these come in human sizes?

254
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:14,646
Um, also I need to pee,
where's your litter box? Meow.

255
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:18,942
Uh, where did you find these morons?

256
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,114
Who's next?

257
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,702
- This was an awful idea.
- Hey, no, no, no, no.

258
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,413
We will come up with a plan, okay?

259
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,500
Speaking of plans,
either of you have a plan B pill?

260
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,503
Mr. Argentina forgot to pull out.

261
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:46,178
Okay, look, you lazy, selfish,
irresponsible nympho alcoholic.

262
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,263
I am not lazy.

263
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:53,143
And you look awfully tense.
Wanna fuck?

264
00:14:56,188 --> 00:15:00,567
[sighs] Our roommate is going through
a very difficult time right now.

265
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:04,654
I think that some words of encouragement
would be very much appreciated.

266
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,241
Sure. Rent's due tomorrow.

267
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:10,577
[dog barking]

268
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,662
I'm gonna kill her in her sleep.

269
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,830
- [door shuts]
- Hey.

270
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,415
[Car peels off]

271
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,171
Let's have a drink, babe.

272
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,714
We'll get it next time.

273
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:24,883
Next time.

274
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,886
<i>♪</i>

275
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,724
Gold. Something gold.

276
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:34,351
Gold, uh... Gold, um...

277
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,853
Gold ideas... Gold idea...

278
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,655
Here's your order.

279
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,909
Hey, uh, are you guys hiring?

280
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,120
I've never worked in a food truck before.

281
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,831
Benny...
Benny and the Jetpacks, yup.

282
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,833
That's a good one.
That's a good... That...

283
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,417
We can put some good music to that.

284
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,337
- You want an application?
- I'd... Yeah. Sure. Okay.

285
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,755
Thank you.

286
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,799
Oh, lady, and take one of these.
It'll help you chill out.

287
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,554
Thanks. I guess.

288
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,432
Hey, do you have a pen?

289
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,602
Excuse me, do you have a pen?

290
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:21,940
[sighs] Nobody has a pen. Great.

291
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,483
I have a pen if you...

292
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,652
don't mind red.

293
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,737
I love red.

294
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,823
- Thanks.
- Uh, here.

295
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,117
- Is this lingerie?
- No, I got it. Don't...

296
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,243
Don't worry about it.

297
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,454
- They're tutus.
- Tutus for dogs. Wow.

298
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:37,539
I'm a designer.

299
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,207
- Really?
- Yeah.

300
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,918
That's pretty, uh...

301
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,378
- Kind of stupid.
- ...brilliant.

302
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,299
- You really think so?
- Yeah. Yeah.

303
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,634
I mean, can I buy one from you?

304
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,052
Do you have a dog?

305
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,846
I don't...
No, I don't have a dog.

306
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:56,474
Yeah, I'd probably
fit it around one of my legs.

307
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,560
[both laughing]

308
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,606
That is the first time
I've smiled in over a week.

309
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,608
Well, you have a nice smile.

310
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,485
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do.

311
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,906
No one wants to buy any of my designs.

312
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,409
Well, I mean, I...
I work in advertising.

313
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,995
I can help you come up
with some new stuff maybe and...

314
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,705
Over dinner or, uh...

315
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,585
Okay. But it...
As long as it's not a date.

316
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,129
What, you got something against...

317
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,464
- against dating dudes?
- No.

318
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,799
I just told myself
I'm not gonna date anybody

319
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,135
until I make
my first business transaction.

320
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,387
Oh, well, then we...
We gotta get on this.

321
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:35,764
- Yeah.
- Time's wasting.

322
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,562
Poodle skirts.

323
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,272
Poodle skirts for poodles.

324
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,859
- Okay, you got some good ideas.
- Right? Rottweilers in leather.

325
00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,236
Leather jackets around their butts.

326
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,613
[laughing]

327
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,326
<i>[Tom] It was electric from the day we met.</i>

328
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,161
<i>Thanks to everyone for coming</i>

329
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:01,539
and spending some time with us
before the big day.

330
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:05,293
We're really looking forward
to the trip with both families.

331
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:06,878
I've never been happier.

332
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,548
Thank you so much for saying yes, Laura.

333
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,842
Of course. That was beautiful.

334
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,971
[woman] That was beautiful.
Thank you so much.

335
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,473
Hey, did everybody get enough to eat?

336
00:18:18,474 --> 00:18:19,557
- Oh, yeah.
- It was good.

337
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:20,975
- I could use...
- It was good. Thank you.

338
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,943
- ...another one of these.
- [woman] You guys are adorable.

339
00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:24,980
[Laura] I'm so happy to be
joining your family,

340
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,231
- Mr. and Mrs. Rothstein.
- [yawns]

341
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,024
[Mr. Rothstein]
Always a pleasure.

342
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,859
- [Laura] Ahem.
- I'm sorry. It's jetlag.

343
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,367
[woman] Oh, what's the matter, Lance?

344
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,120
[Lance] Nothing.
I'm really happy for you two.

345
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,579
But can I ask?

346
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,331
Why do we all have to fly down

347
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,418
to this Caribbean hellhole
for these nuptials?

348
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,461
Why not have them at home?
Why not Canada?

349
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,005
Lance, you're not even Canadian.

350
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:52,674
[all grumbling]

351
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,676
Lance, what's wrong with you?

352
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,970
- Don't you know where you're from?
- Ricky, please shut up.

353
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,097
Oh, you hadn't heard?

354
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,765
I'm an orphan.

355
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,017
[Laura]
Oh, here we go.

356
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,852
I didn't know you were adopted.

357
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,603
Oh, that's true. I'm an orphan.

358
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,690
All I ever really wanted
was to be taken in...

359
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,792
- [phone ringing]
- ...by a kind family and then finally...

360
00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:12,043
[man on phone] Manfred? Manfred...

361
00:19:12,127 --> 00:19:14,571
...these loving parents
came along and adopted me

362
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,990
because they couldn't have
children on their own.

363
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,199
It's... It's true.

364
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,534
[groans]

365
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,745
Until they did have a real kid, right?

366
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,705
They were finally able to conceive

367
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:27,751
and they had the miracle biological child,
the golden girl,

368
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,588
and she just kind of, I don't know,
just took up all the love

369
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,841
and old Lance just kind of got
lost in the shuffle.

370
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,262
- The hell am I missing here?
- My life.

371
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:42,265
- Well, that's nice.
- Okay. Well...

372
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,184
You sound successful.

373
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:48,688
- Wow. It's so soft.
- Sherry, Manfred, Lexi, thank you.

374
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:53,651
And to your son, Tom,
I'd just like to say, uh,

375
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:58,323
son, if you break her heart,
I'll kill you.

376
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,583
That's a joke. It's just a joke.

377
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,585
- [laughing]
- Good speech.

378
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,589
- He's joking, he's joking. It's a joke.
- It's such a funny joke.

379
00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:21,096
[upbeat music]

380
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,649
Hi, super cute couple.

381
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,610
Can I offer you
a pre-wedding trip beverage?

382
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,028
Actually, I had a question.

383
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,780
Um, when I was coming onto the plane,

384
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,825
somebody was telling me
about, urn, a Club Mile High,

385
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,536
and I was wondering if...

386
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:48,957
um, is that like a credit card thing
where you have to sign up or do you, um...

387
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,168
Do you get extra miles from that? Is it...

388
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,339
[flight attendant chuckles]

389
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,218
Rude... Rude people on this plane...
Hey, baby, hey.

390
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,636
- What happened?
- Nothing...

391
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,304
I'm just checking.
Are you... You okay?

392
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,224
You... you seem like
you were just like zoned out.

393
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,477
[exhales sharply] Not... not really, no.

394
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,896
Yeah, what's...
What's going on?

395
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,858
- I just feel anxious and I...
- Oh, the flight?

396
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,443
No, it's just the wedding.

397
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,403
I... I just wanna make sure
everybody has fun.

398
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,946
I just want this to be great.

399
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,991
Babe, it's gonna be fantastic.
We prepped...

400
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,626
- Okay.
- ...the shit out of this wedding.

401
00:21:24,709 --> 00:21:26,394
Okay. Just keep telling me that.
I need to hear it.

402
00:21:26,478 --> 00:21:28,328
We prepped the shit out of this wedding.
Say it with me.

403
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,750
- We prepped the shit...
- Prepped the shit

404
00:21:29,806 --> 00:21:31,040
out of this wedding, yeah.

405
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,292
- Okay.
- Yeah, we're good.

406
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,801
Okay. Thanks, babe.
I feel better.

407
00:21:33,802 --> 00:21:35,853
- Great. Now just...
- I feel... I'm just gonna try to sleep.

408
00:21:35,937 --> 00:21:39,090
- Great. Just relax and...
- Okay.

409
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,270
[clears throat]

410
00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:54,230
Do you wanna move over one?

411
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:57,817
No, I really like the middle seat.

412
00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:00,653
Okay. I need you to take
your hand off my leg.

413
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,530
- That's your leg?
- Yes.

414
00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:03,865
Do you moisturize it?

415
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:06,701
I need you to remove your hand,

416
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:10,330
or I'm going to show you
why my favorite movie is <i>Rocky!</i>

417
00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:12,207
Jesus.

418
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:14,501
Hey.

419
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:33,853
[seat creaking]

420
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,905
- [grunting]
- [banging]

421
00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:51,579
It's just turbulence.

422
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,334
- [banging]
- [Ricky] Ricky doesn't care.

423
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:57,794
[grunting]

424
00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:03,633
- [pig squealing]
- [Ricky] Oh, shit, you broke my nose!

425
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,051
- [bell dings]
- [Ricky] Damn it.

426
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:07,136
[woman on PA] <i>Ladies and gentlemen,
due to severe weather,</i>

427
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,639
<i>we're being rerouted
to the island of Jamaica.</i>

428
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,766
<i>Cabin crew, prepare for landing.</i>

429
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:22,735
Babe...

430
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:26,614
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Uh... put your seatbelt on.

431
00:23:27,615 --> 00:23:29,701
- We're here?
- We're close.

432
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:32,537
Okay. Okay.

433
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,622
[airplane overhead]

434
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:39,836
[woman on PA] <i>Until further notice,</i>

435
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:43,423
<i>all flights to the Bahamas are cancelled
due to severe weather.</i>

436
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:46,843
We're supposed to be
getting married in four days.

437
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,803
Babe, it's gonna be fine, okay?
We're gonna get...

438
00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:50,013
How are we gonna find a resort?

439
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,490
I'm... I'll... I'll take care of it.
It's just gonna be a minor hurdle.

440
00:23:52,573 --> 00:23:54,517
- There's no way.
- I think this is very exciting.

441
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:56,185
Yeah. And pretty scary, eh?

442
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,187
Representative, please.

443
00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:01,391
[woman on phone] <i>Your call
is very important to us. Please...</i>

444
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:03,568
- Get our flights figured out.
- No, no... it's gonna be okay.

445
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:05,670
It's gonna be great. Okay?
And I'm gonna get a hotel for us,

446
00:24:05,671 --> 00:24:06,863
and we're gonna...
I'm gonna find...

447
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,656
I didn't pack...
[mumbling]

448
00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:17,123
- Yeah, mon.
- No seeds and stems, all right?

449
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,583
No guarantees, mon.

450
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,210
Come on, dude, hook me up, hook me up.

451
00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:23,671
<i>♪ In the government yard in Trenchtown ♪</i>

452
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,552
Oh, what happened to your nose?

453
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,555
Hey, mon! Welcome to my island.

454
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,567
I am a Rasta Man, a native of Jamaica.

455
00:24:35,568 --> 00:24:37,677
I'm sorry, could you just give us...
Give us one second, sorry.

456
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,979
You like the weed?
You like them girls?

457
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:42,649
No, we... We just had
an emergency land here,

458
00:24:42,732 --> 00:24:44,292
we're trying to look
for a hotel for my family.

459
00:24:44,375 --> 00:24:47,987
- So, can you just like...
- Yeah, mon. This is fit, my friend.

460
00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:51,532
Real talk, uh, my name is Ira Goldstein,
I'm actually from Long Island.

461
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:53,242
I work for a hotel in Negril,

462
00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:56,245
and I can get you guys
a great deal, five-star resort.

463
00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,247
- We're talking beautiful pools...
- [Ricky] Yeah.

464
00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:01,376
- ...hot tubs, luxurious rooms.
- Wow.

465
00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:02,460
- Yeah. Yeah?
- Hot tub, pool?

466
00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:05,046
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
You guys... You guys do weddings?

467
00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:08,758
We do it all, mon, all inclusive.

468
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:10,843
[upbeat music playing]

469
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:36,828
What?

470
00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:40,289
Nothing, mon. You look good, is all.
Real good, mon.

471
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,460
Oh, I'm sorry, uh, I'm not...

472
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:48,339
Oh, I'm not into you in that way,
uh, I'm not gay or anything.

473
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:50,399
Not... Not that I have any problem
with anybody who is gay.

474
00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:52,760
It's just I tried it out once
before I got married,

475
00:25:52,844 --> 00:25:55,763
and it just really wasn't for me,
you know what I mean?

476
00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:58,891
Me and my wife Lakesha, mon,
we're gonna open up

477
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:02,478
the most beautiful dry cleaner
right here in Negril.

478
00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:05,064
See, so it's
sort of a family business, mon.

479
00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,859
We're gonna call it
Jamaican Ass Do Your Laundry.

480
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:11,696
We do all your dirty laundry.
Yeah, mon.

481
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:15,783
[upbeat music continues]

482
00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:25,626
Welcome to Hedonism II,
where all your dreams come true.

483
00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:30,631
Winston, I need you to take over,
I got to take a poop.

484
00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:33,968
Welcome, friends.

485
00:26:34,051 --> 00:26:36,763
I'm glad you made it
safely through the storm.

486
00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:38,014
My name is Winston and...

487
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,932
We... We've had a very long day.

488
00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:41,517
Ira said our rooms would be ready.

489
00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:44,729
Sorry, we're just really tired, eh.

490
00:26:44,812 --> 00:26:47,440
- And a little emotional.
- Where's the bar?

491
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:53,821
[upbeat music plays]

492
00:27:01,621 --> 00:27:03,247
- [Mama McGursky] Papa?
- [Papa] Hmm?

493
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:07,418
Our daughter is only getting
married once... I hope.

494
00:27:07,502 --> 00:27:10,546
And if you wanna sit back,
relax, and massage those toes,

495
00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:11,798
you deserve it.

496
00:27:11,881 --> 00:27:16,302
No, no, no. We deserve it, Mama.

497
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,180
Should I slip into something
more comfortable?

498
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:21,516
Ooh, I like that idea.

499
00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:23,518
This was my mama's muumuu.

500
00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,686
I always liked your mama, eh?

501
00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:28,606
- [laughing] I'll be back.
- [laughing]

502
00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:44,288
Not bad.

503
00:27:44,372 --> 00:27:45,790
Not bad at all.

504
00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,209
Hmm.

505
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,587
- [upbeat music]
- [people chattering]

506
00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:56,509
[Ricky] Ooh, jackpot.

507
00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:58,928
Hey, blondie, where you going?

508
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,680
I'm going back to my room.
What are you doing?

509
00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:04,308
Can Ijoin you?

510
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:05,852
Sure.

511
00:28:05,935 --> 00:28:08,354
- Are you sure?
- Why not?

512
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:11,607
- Me? Really?
- Yeah.

513
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:13,025
- Let's go.
- Okay.

514
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:15,820
- Are you sure?
- Are you gonna take good care of me?

515
00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:17,989
I mean, this isn't a prank, is it?

516
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:24,829
Baby, I am the luckiest guy in the world.

517
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:28,916
Tell me about it. Maybe we should
just stay here for the rest of vacation.

518
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,751
So down.

519
00:28:30,835 --> 00:28:33,754
Hey, look, I know that this,
you know, isn't what we planned,

520
00:28:33,838 --> 00:28:36,173
and I know the past few days have been
an emotional rollerooaster,

521
00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:37,258
to say the least.

522
00:28:37,341 --> 00:28:40,595
But I promise you, you're gonna have
the wedding of your dreams, okay?

523
00:28:40,678 --> 00:28:42,847
- You do?
- Yeah.

524
00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:44,599
I have a really good feeling
about this place.

525
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,395
Okay. I know it's not
what we planned, but...

526
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:50,980
I trust you.

527
00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:54,233
- I love you.
- I love you,

528
00:28:54,317 --> 00:28:58,195
- Mr. McGursky-Fairfax Rothstein.
- Oh, no, no, no.

529
00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:00,740
It's Mr. Fairfax Rothstein-McGursky
if we're gonna do that.

530
00:29:00,823 --> 00:29:03,034
Oh, well, looks like you have
some convincing to do.

531
00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:04,911
I don't think so. Okay.

532
00:29:05,995 --> 00:29:07,997
<i>♪</i>

533
00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,560
This is where you'll be married...

534
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,481
on your very special day.

535
00:29:33,564 --> 00:29:35,066
What do you think?

536
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:37,777
We love it.

537
00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:39,695
Wonderful.

538
00:29:41,697 --> 00:29:43,032
[birds chirping]

539
00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:48,245
[Mama McGursky] Look at these trees!

540
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:50,539
This place is paradise!

541
00:29:50,623 --> 00:29:52,291
[Papa] They all look the same.

542
00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:55,002
- You all right there, Papa?
- Right behind you, Mama.

543
00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:57,171
- Exactly where I like you.
- [laughing]

544
00:29:57,254 --> 00:29:58,839
I trained you well.

545
00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:00,967
- Oh, oh! [shushing]
- What is it? What is it?

546
00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:02,301
[chirping]

547
00:30:02,385 --> 00:30:04,011
Do you know what that is?

548
00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:06,055
- What is it?
- If I'm right,

549
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:08,140
the girls at Simonson's
Portage Trail Nature Club

550
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:09,684
are gonna be green with envy.

551
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:12,687
I think
that's a Lesser Antilles bullfinch.

552
00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:14,772
- The less... The lesser?
- The lesser.

553
00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:17,108
The only species of bird

554
00:30:17,191 --> 00:30:20,778
where the female eats her mate
after she copulates.

555
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:24,782
- [shushing] Oh.
- What's that?

556
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:25,866
[birds screaming]

557
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:29,036
Yes.

558
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:33,791
[exclaiming]

559
00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:36,585
<i>- </i> Oh, oh, you okay?
<i>- </i> Yes!

560
00:30:36,669 --> 00:30:39,672
- [chuckles]
- Oh, bird spunk!

561
00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:41,716
- [laughs]
- Nice.

562
00:30:41,799 --> 00:30:42,967
A souvenir!

563
00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:44,468
[Papa laughs] Oh, <i>yeah.</i>

564
00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,721
[Mama McGursky] <i>Betty Jean Davidson
can't top that.</i>

565
00:30:46,804 --> 00:30:48,806
[Tom] All right.
Close your eyes, keep them closed.

566
00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:53,144
You're... You're...
Don't ruin the surprise.

567
00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:55,479
All right. Here we go.
All right. Open your mouth, give me...

568
00:30:55,563 --> 00:30:56,564
Give me a little tongue.

569
00:30:58,524 --> 00:31:00,359
And, okay, what do you...
What do you think of that one?

570
00:31:00,443 --> 00:31:01,986
- So good.
- Right?

571
00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,195
- So good.
- Yeah.

572
00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:04,613
- So, now...
- That's the one.

573
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,507
No, no, no, you gotta try more,
you gotta try them all.

574
00:31:06,590 --> 00:31:08,034
- Oh, my gosh.
- All right.

575
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:09,577
[laughing]

576
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:12,997
All right. What do you
think of that one? Oh.

577
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,165
Okay.

578
00:31:14,248 --> 00:31:17,168
That one's really good, too.
Did you try that one?

579
00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:19,503
What?

580
00:31:28,971 --> 00:31:30,765
[soft grunt]

581
00:31:30,848 --> 00:31:32,641
I think...
I think it's a Caribbean thing.

582
00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:35,436
Yeah. It's the...

583
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,897
Probably the only person
like that we're gonna see.

584
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,441
She probably...
She's a native, I think.

585
00:31:51,202 --> 00:31:53,329
Okay. Okay.

586
00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:56,582
Mr. Manfred, sir.
How you doing, mon?

587
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:57,750
Bloody Mary, please.

588
00:31:57,833 --> 00:32:01,420
Look, I know you're a very busy man,
you're here on vacation with your family,

589
00:32:01,504 --> 00:32:05,216
but I would love to schedule some time
to talk about my business proposal.

590
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:07,676
Open up the dry cleaning
here on the island.

591
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,721
Get this, one-hour dry cleaning.

592
00:32:10,805 --> 00:32:13,099
Well, hello, handsome.

593
00:32:13,182 --> 00:32:15,810
Sorry, I'm, uh, I'm actually
married, I don't swing.

594
00:32:15,893 --> 00:32:19,480
- I love me a silver fox.
- We'll talk, Mr. Manfred.

595
00:32:19,563 --> 00:32:21,315
What's your name?

596
00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:23,859
[Mr. Manfred] What's a silver fox?
I'm sorry, do we know each other?

597
00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:27,863
[pop music playing]

598
00:32:39,917 --> 00:32:43,379
- Hi, darling.
- Hi, ladies.

599
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:47,299
[Mama McGursky sighs]

600
00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:50,261
You know, it's been years since I've had
a professional massage.

601
00:32:51,554 --> 00:32:55,766
Not quite sure how I feel about another
man's hands running all over my body.

602
00:32:55,850 --> 00:32:59,854
I think Papa would prefer it
if I had a lady.

603
00:32:59,937 --> 00:33:01,438
Where's the fun in that?

604
00:33:01,522 --> 00:33:04,775
Uh, when's the last time
your husband gave you a proper massage?

605
00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:06,235
You know, you're right.

606
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:09,113
Papa usually just likes
to get right to it.

607
00:33:09,196 --> 00:33:12,158
Last time your father used his mouth
for anything other than...

608
00:33:12,241 --> 00:33:13,717
- Morn, come on.
- Yes, dear, you're right.

609
00:33:13,801 --> 00:33:16,036
- That's too much information.
- No! Too much. Uh-uh.

610
00:33:16,037 --> 00:33:17,446
I'm sorry. Yes, you're right.
You're right.

611
00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:18,539
- No.
- I apologize. I don't...

612
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:21,709
I just hope that my masseur has,
like, strong hands, you know.

613
00:33:21,792 --> 00:33:23,794
[upbeat music]

614
00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:01,749
Hello. Are you ladies ready?

615
00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:05,669
[Mama McGursky] Oh... oh.

616
00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:08,422
Take that off. Take that ring off.

617
00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:12,426
Oh, my God, yes.

618
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:13,761
[man] Uh-huh.

619
00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:15,221
Mmm...

620
00:34:22,853 --> 00:34:24,230
[moans]

621
00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:27,233
Uh-huh.

622
00:34:27,316 --> 00:34:29,526
- [moans]
- Mm-hm.

623
00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,572
That's great. Yeah.

624
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,868
Mmm...

625
00:34:37,952 --> 00:34:39,245
You know, my family's here.

626
00:34:39,328 --> 00:34:41,288
I didn't realize
how stressful it was gonna be.

627
00:34:41,372 --> 00:34:45,251
[chuckles] Family is just
so boring, you know.

628
00:34:45,334 --> 00:34:48,796
Why bring family?
You should choose your friends.

629
00:34:48,879 --> 00:34:53,092
And I tell you what,
I can be your little friend.

630
00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:57,263
You know, actually,
I'm really excited, though,

631
00:34:57,346 --> 00:35:00,349
I can't wait to move on with Torn.

632
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:03,143
I mean, I'm in it for life.
I'm excited.

633
00:35:03,227 --> 00:35:04,645
I can't wait, either.

634
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:08,524
You see, uh, sometimes
the unexpected detours in life

635
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:13,028
make the greatest adventure.

636
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:15,322
That's a little low, sir.

637
00:35:15,406 --> 00:35:18,826
You were booked for the full package.

638
00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:21,036
- I'm getting married.
- I know.

639
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,955
Congratulations.

640
00:35:24,290 --> 00:35:26,000
- [chuckles]
- [screams]

641
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:29,503
This is not what I meant
by full package!

642
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,672
[indistinct]
I'm sorry for the bad touch!

643
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:35,134
Well, that got weird quick.

644
00:35:35,217 --> 00:35:36,719
- I know, right?
- [door opens]

645
00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:37,986
- [Mama McGursky] Get out!
- Okay.

646
00:35:38,070 --> 00:35:40,431
Nobody touches
the honey pot but Papa Bear!

647
00:35:40,514 --> 00:35:42,057
[man]
That is one crazy white woman.

648
00:35:42,141 --> 00:35:45,978
Ah, just what the doctor ordered.
What are you looking at?

649
00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:48,522
- Yes, yes, yes.
- [Laura] Morn?

650
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,066
Oh, my God, what kind of a resort is this?

651
00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:53,402
[Mama McGursky]
I don't know, but I love it.

652
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:56,655
Hey, where's the ocean?
That's what I'm talking about.

653
00:35:56,739 --> 00:36:00,409
Yay, get a little pina colada.
Pursue pleasure, indeed.

654
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:01,869
<i>[Laura] A swingers resort, Tom?</i>

655
00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:03,704
There is no way this is gonna work.

656
00:36:03,787 --> 00:36:07,166
We don't have food, flowers,
the little doily things for the table.

657
00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:09,209
Did you see that guy?
He was like a dick with teeth!

658
00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:12,296
So, is this what's it like
in your big American cities, then?

659
00:36:12,379 --> 00:36:13,672
No, it's Jamaica, man.

660
00:36:13,756 --> 00:36:15,215
Fortunately, I'm not a prude,

661
00:36:15,299 --> 00:36:17,051
because everything
around here is having sex,

662
00:36:17,134 --> 00:36:19,345
especially the birds. [chuckles]

663
00:36:19,428 --> 00:36:23,015
Well, this place is paradise!

664
00:36:23,098 --> 00:36:25,642
Lance, my boy.
How was your trip in, son?

665
00:36:25,726 --> 00:36:26,894
Pretty good. Pretty good.

666
00:36:26,977 --> 00:36:28,187
- Hi, Lance.
- Hi, Morn.

667
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:32,149
Oh, where are we?
This is the... [indistinct]

668
00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:35,652
I'm sorry, I'm just a little confused.
Why is everybody so upset?

669
00:36:35,736 --> 00:36:37,905
I mean, what's going on?
I mean, how happy are we

670
00:36:37,988 --> 00:36:40,616
that we're not up in Manitoba
for this wedding, right?

671
00:36:44,161 --> 00:36:46,997
I'm getting married at a swingers resort.

672
00:36:50,501 --> 00:36:53,087
[Lance] A swingers resort,
like a nudist colony?

673
00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:54,922
What... are you kidding me?

674
00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:57,674
All right, this all goes back to Tom.
This is Tom's fault.

675
00:36:57,758 --> 00:37:00,969
This is a nudist colony?
You're sick, buddy!

676
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:05,015
All right. Everybody just calm down,
let's figure out a plan B.

677
00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:06,642
[sighs]

678
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:09,478
- [man humming]
- [knocking at door]

679
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,230
- Yup.
- Hi, there.

680
00:37:11,313 --> 00:37:13,190
I'm Lance,
are you the manager of this place?

681
00:37:13,273 --> 00:37:16,652
Absolutely. Make yourself comfortable,
take your jacket off.

682
00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:18,737
Okay, thank you.

683
00:37:18,821 --> 00:37:20,223
[groans] Thanks.

684
00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:22,449
Hey, while you're at it, go ahead
and take your pants off, too.

685
00:37:22,533 --> 00:37:25,077
- I'm sorry?
- If you want.

686
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,579
My Pants?

687
00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:29,331
Well, I'm okay, thanks.

688
00:37:29,415 --> 00:37:31,208
[clears throat]

689
00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:33,669
How can I help you, Larry?

690
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,337
It's Lance, but that's okay.

691
00:37:35,421 --> 00:37:38,298
- Well, I wanted to lodge a com...
- Oh, you like that?

692
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:40,467
It's my ex-wife, former guest.

693
00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:41,927
I wanted to lodge a complaint.

694
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,637
Ooh... [laughing]

695
00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:46,473
You had me worried for a second.

696
00:37:46,557 --> 00:37:49,435
I have a lot of guests come in
here wanting to lodge something,

697
00:37:49,518 --> 00:37:50,727
usually not complaints.

698
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:58,861
Upper management, at a beautiful
adult swingers resort.

699
00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:00,154
And for the life of me,

700
00:38:00,237 --> 00:38:04,324
I cannot walk out those office doors
without a top or bottom.

701
00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:06,326
Can I help you, Larry?

702
00:38:06,410 --> 00:38:11,123
Well, uh, first of all, this is a topnotch
resort, so congratulations to you.

703
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,250
Um, I was just... Had a question
about the activities.

704
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:17,087
There's zip line, paragliding,
bungee jumping.

705
00:38:17,171 --> 00:38:21,258
All nude. Those are all totally nude
activities you've mentioned.

706
00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:23,177
That's true.

707
00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:26,805
Actually, the bungee jump is closed
due to an incident last week.

708
00:38:26,889 --> 00:38:30,601
A guy, older fellow...
late 70s, early 80s... jumps.

709
00:38:30,684 --> 00:38:34,563
Old-timer's got incredible form,
his head is at a safe distance,

710
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:39,193
but his balls extend just enough
to tap the sand really hard.

711
00:38:40,194 --> 00:38:42,154
Put him in the hospital...

712
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:43,739
died the next day.

713
00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:46,617
I'm sorry to hear that.

714
00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:50,120
Nothing related to the bungee jump.

715
00:38:50,204 --> 00:38:52,206
My condolences.

716
00:38:52,289 --> 00:38:53,724
I think I understand
what's happening here.

717
00:38:53,807 --> 00:38:56,001
<i>[Lance] Look, my sister is getting married
this weekend,</i>

718
00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:57,669
<i>albeit to a total putz,</i>

719
00:38:57,753 --> 00:38:59,880
<i>but still, I wanna make sure
it's special for her</i>

720
00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:01,882
<i>and not a sex surge, do you understand?</i>

721
00:39:01,965 --> 00:39:03,967
<i>♪</i>

722
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,103
I got to thank you for your concerns.

723
00:39:15,187 --> 00:39:20,359
I'm taking baby steps to improving
the staff tact around here,

724
00:39:20,442 --> 00:39:21,735
you know what I mean?

725
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:24,029
I think you do. [grunts]

726
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:26,073
Here's what I'm gonna do for you, Vance.

727
00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:28,450
To make sure your stay is comfortable,

728
00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:32,079
I'm gonna give you Groupons
to our best clothing optional classes.

729
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:34,873
Try to enjoy yourselves.
Take it slow, too.

730
00:39:37,167 --> 00:39:40,462
And that's my advice to you,
Vince, that you do the same.

731
00:39:43,090 --> 00:39:46,051
Oh, look, yoga class, look at that move.

732
00:39:46,134 --> 00:39:48,053
Oh... [chuckles]

733
00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:52,140
Well, no, that is nude yoga.
She is flexible.

734
00:39:52,224 --> 00:39:53,809
[thunder rumbles]

735
00:39:55,102 --> 00:39:57,104
<i>♪</i>

736
00:40:12,202 --> 00:40:14,246
[Mr. Manfred grunts]
<i>No, Bill, can you hear me?</i>

737
00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:17,708
[Tom] Sure you don't wanna
come with us?

738
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:25,632
Look, I hate to have to say this, pal,
but, uh, we're enemies now.

739
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,468
You ought to know something about me, Tom.

740
00:40:28,552 --> 00:40:31,805
I have a certain set of skills.
Do you know what Krav Maga is?

741
00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:34,057
No.

742
00:40:34,141 --> 00:40:36,810
See this, Torn? It's a fist.

743
00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:40,689
And it might be small,
delicate even, like a snowflake,

744
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:44,359
but it's not the size that matters.
It's what you do with it.

745
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:49,031
If you so much as harm
my baby sister in the slightest,

746
00:40:49,114 --> 00:40:52,367
not even the splendid Canadian
nationalized healthcare system

747
00:40:52,451 --> 00:40:54,077
will be able to save you.

748
00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:56,997
And by the way,
that hat's fucking stupid.

749
00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,917
Lance, you should come, buddy.

750
00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:05,172
We got a bunch of guys,
no women, it's a perfect sausage-fest.

751
00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:08,508
I like you, Rick, I do,
but, uh, I got a meeting.

752
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:10,385
Lance, son.

753
00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:12,846
That boy...
[chuckles]

754
00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:17,976
Won't swim, won't play hockey,
always got an excuse.

755
00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:20,062
[music playing throughout]

756
00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,232
[birds chirping]

757
00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:36,495
[Tom] This day has been so good.

758
00:41:36,578 --> 00:41:38,830
You boys done got your sea legs, mon?

759
00:41:38,914 --> 00:41:40,082
Yeah, mon.

760
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:42,209
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Yeah.

761
00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,712
Canadian beer, looks good...

762
00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:49,758
Wow, but it's not.

763
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:53,595
[chuckles]
Moose Knuckle, that's funny.

764
00:41:53,679 --> 00:41:56,014
Torn, Mama says
you designed this label.

765
00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:57,349
Yeah, I did.

766
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,101
Wait, wait.
You designed this label, Tom?

767
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,602
[Tom] Mm-hmm.

768
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,688
- Oh, that's pretty cool, pal.
- Thanks, Dad.

769
00:42:02,771 --> 00:42:04,481
[Ira]
Can I get you boys some weed?

770
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:08,110
Home grown,
I call it the Rasta Jew, man.

771
00:42:08,193 --> 00:42:09,586
- That's what I call it, man.
- No, I...

772
00:42:09,669 --> 00:42:12,322
I'd end up on the front of that boat
passed out.

773
00:42:12,406 --> 00:42:14,116
That's what happened to the captain.

774
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,451
That's why I'm driving the boat.

775
00:42:16,535 --> 00:42:18,161
- Rasta Jew?
- Yeah, man.

776
00:42:18,245 --> 00:42:19,913
- I'm in.
- Yeah, man.

777
00:42:26,878 --> 00:42:28,880
[pop music playing]

778
00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:57,743
Goddamn.

779
00:42:57,826 --> 00:43:00,287
This is exactly what my old buns needed.

780
00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:01,788
[laughing]

781
00:43:01,872 --> 00:43:03,415
- Mine, too.
- Oh, oh.

782
00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,250
What do you all know about being old?

783
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,044
I have shoes older than the both of you.

784
00:43:08,128 --> 00:43:11,548
- I have a present for you.
- Georgia, where'd you get...

785
00:43:11,631 --> 00:43:13,967
- Nice.
- You light that thing up.

786
00:43:14,050 --> 00:43:18,930
Oh! Oh, it's been over 30 years
since I've had a whiff of them, um...

787
00:43:19,014 --> 00:43:22,058
Weed, grass, ganja, gateway drug, yeah.

788
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,687
You know, it seems like just yesterday

789
00:43:25,771 --> 00:43:30,358
we were at Kappa Delta Pi,
doing Jello shots off the swim team boys.

790
00:43:30,442 --> 00:43:31,860
Honestly, we'd start with one up here

791
00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:33,904
- and then you sort of work your way down.
- Hey, Georgia?

792
00:43:33,987 --> 00:43:37,365
- Stop, that's my mother-in-law.
- [coughing]

793
00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:40,202
At the end of the semester,
I had no gag reflex.

794
00:43:40,285 --> 00:43:42,370
That's the only thing
I got out of college, too.

795
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:45,540
- Right?
- Honey, I am sure that Sherry and I

796
00:43:45,624 --> 00:43:49,211
both have done things we're not
necessarily proud of in our past.

797
00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:51,296
- I used to be a very dirty girl.
- Morn, stop it.

798
00:43:51,297 --> 00:43:53,081
- [Georgia] No.
- Very. They used to call me Mud Pie.

799
00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:54,165
No!

800
00:43:57,052 --> 00:43:59,054
[reggae beat playing]

801
00:44:04,017 --> 00:44:05,852
[grunts]

802
00:44:05,936 --> 00:44:08,104
How you doing?
You got anything, uh,

803
00:44:08,188 --> 00:44:11,691
kind of healthy for somebody
who's trying to get back into shape?

804
00:44:11,775 --> 00:44:15,153
- I got that weed.
- Okay. Thank you.

805
00:44:15,237 --> 00:44:16,863
Looks great. Appreciate it.

806
00:44:16,947 --> 00:44:17,989
I'll have one of those.

807
00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:23,495
You know what?
It's on me, there you go.

808
00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:25,622
It's all-inclusive.

809
00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:27,541
Okay, well, second one's on me, too.

810
00:44:27,624 --> 00:44:29,751
Oh, you're such a gentleman.

811
00:44:29,835 --> 00:44:31,294
Where I come from, I believe...

812
00:44:31,378 --> 00:44:33,296
it's my theory that a woman
such as yourself

813
00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:35,841
should, you know, be treated like a lady.

814
00:44:35,924 --> 00:44:38,051
Where are you from?

815
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:41,638
I'm from Canada
by way of, uh, Mississippi.

816
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,267
How can you be Canadian from Mississippi?

817
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:51,314
Well, it's...
Uh, it's a little complicated, you know?

818
00:44:51,398 --> 00:44:54,276
I know complicated.
I was left at the altar.

819
00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:56,903
I woke up yesterday
and my fiance was gone.

820
00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:03,201
Uh... you were left at the altar?

821
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:06,913
I'd like to meet the son of a bitch,
excuse my language,

822
00:45:06,997 --> 00:45:08,415
that left you at the altar.

823
00:45:08,498 --> 00:45:10,876
That was crazy enough
to leave you at the altar

824
00:45:10,959 --> 00:45:13,044
and teach him a thing or two
about chivalry.

825
00:45:13,128 --> 00:45:15,046
What, teach him...
Teach him about some weed?

826
00:45:15,130 --> 00:45:16,506
No, thanks.
Not right now, hoss.

827
00:45:16,590 --> 00:45:17,757
You know what?

828
00:45:17,841 --> 00:45:20,385
Let's not even think about it, all right?

829
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,095
Here's to new beginnings.

830
00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:26,099
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

831
00:45:26,182 --> 00:45:29,060
Mango-carrot fusion.
Here's to it.

832
00:45:29,144 --> 00:45:33,356
<i>♪ Jamaica is my home ♪</i>

833
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,818
<i>♪ Oh, Jamaica is my home ♪</i>

834
00:45:36,902 --> 00:45:38,570
- Get it?
- Mm-hmm.

835
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:41,114
<i>- ♪ Jamaica is my home ♪</i>
- That's a small fish.

836
00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:42,699
I know, I thought
it would be a lot bigger.

837
00:45:42,782 --> 00:45:45,201
Sounds like you've been
enjoying yourself, mon.

838
00:45:45,285 --> 00:45:46,745
Yeah, mon.

839
00:45:46,828 --> 00:45:48,955
You gotta get yourself
a nice Jamaican woman

840
00:45:49,039 --> 00:45:51,917
to make you some
of that good jerk chicken, man.

841
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,919
Hey, anybody else
wanna go out for a swim?

842
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:55,587
No, mon. Don't do it.

843
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:59,007
The water's beautiful.
Why can't we jump in?

844
00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:02,218
What happens at Hedonism
stays at Hedonism.

845
00:46:02,302 --> 00:46:04,888
But the sea, she remembers, man.

846
00:46:07,724 --> 00:46:09,851
Few years back,
some of the more adventurous guests

847
00:46:09,935 --> 00:46:13,438
would have the hotel ferry them
out right to this spot here.

848
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,899
They'd take the current
all the way back in,

849
00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:17,692
screwing the whole way.

850
00:46:17,776 --> 00:46:19,945
Called it riding the dolphin, man.

851
00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:22,238
What the hell are you talking about?

852
00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,284
That was before
the real dolphins joined in.

853
00:46:26,368 --> 00:46:30,705
Maybe it was the smell,
all them juices percolating in the water.

854
00:46:30,789 --> 00:46:35,418
First they followed them into the shore,
almost like they was protecting them, mon.

855
00:46:36,628 --> 00:46:42,300
Then one sunset, the dolphin jump up,
knocked the man right off his woman.

856
00:46:42,384 --> 00:46:44,135
[dolphin chittering]

857
00:46:49,808 --> 00:46:52,352
Empty bikini washed up on shore, mon.

858
00:46:53,436 --> 00:46:56,398
Ever since, no fucking in the lagoon.

859
00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:59,150
And no swimming in this spot right here.

860
00:46:59,234 --> 00:47:01,528
- I'm not going swimming.
- I'm not going in.

861
00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:06,533
[laughing] I'm fucking with you guys.

862
00:47:06,616 --> 00:47:07,867
[chuckles]

863
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,165
[dolphins chittering]

864
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,962
<i>♪</i>

865
00:47:21,006 --> 00:47:22,382
Why does...

866
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:27,137
Why do people
always misinterpret who I actually am?

867
00:47:27,220 --> 00:47:30,015
I don't get it.
Everybody seems to like this guy.

868
00:47:30,098 --> 00:47:33,309
I don't get it. I'm just... it's over.

869
00:47:33,393 --> 00:47:35,562
[sighs] Dolphins?

870
00:47:36,855 --> 00:47:39,691
Sherry, Sherry, tell us
some of your wild tales.

871
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,317
[Laura] All right, that's...
That's it, stop.

872
00:47:41,401 --> 00:47:45,030
I don't think we need to go there.
Maybe just another time?

873
00:47:45,113 --> 00:47:46,239
Chill out.

874
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:47,949
Chill out, babe, come on.

875
00:47:48,033 --> 00:47:49,117
Oh.

876
00:47:52,245 --> 00:47:53,538
[gasps]

877
00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:55,749
You ladies mind if I join?

878
00:47:55,832 --> 00:47:56,958
Yeah... No.

879
00:47:57,042 --> 00:47:58,710
- No. No. Please.
- [coughing]

880
00:47:59,711 --> 00:48:01,212
Please.

881
00:48:09,179 --> 00:48:10,930
[neck cracking]

882
00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:14,184
Um, would you like, urn, to...
To suck... I mean, blow...

883
00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:17,979
Um, do...
Do you want some?

884
00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:21,733
[exhales]
Ladies, ladies.

885
00:48:21,816 --> 00:48:24,194
- I don't bite.
- Really?

886
00:48:24,277 --> 00:48:26,154
Unless you want me to.

887
00:48:29,783 --> 00:48:31,201
[laughing]

888
00:48:36,998 --> 00:48:38,374
- Fish up.
- Pull, pull it in.

889
00:48:38,458 --> 00:48:40,502
Got it. He's coming up.
He's coming up.

890
00:48:40,585 --> 00:48:42,921
- Pull it and get the hook, Torn.
- He's coming up. He's coming up.

891
00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:44,672
[mumbling]
Get the gaff.

892
00:48:44,756 --> 00:48:46,132
Get the hook.
There we go. Keep coming.

893
00:48:46,216 --> 00:48:47,509
You got him. You got him.

894
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:50,720
Corning up, coming up,
he's coming up.

895
00:48:50,804 --> 00:48:52,397
Grab him, somebody grab him.

896
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,182
- Let me get a pole.
- Here, hold... hold my pole.

897
00:48:54,183 --> 00:48:55,775
- That's a bigger fish than you.
- Look at that.

898
00:48:55,858 --> 00:48:57,727
- Whoo.
- Yeah, baby. Look at that, Torn!

899
00:48:59,229 --> 00:49:01,147
Oh, he's in the water.

900
00:49:01,231 --> 00:49:03,191
- He's in the water.
- Oh, shit, man.

901
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,319
- He's dolphin meat, man.
- Look, you got him.

902
00:49:09,114 --> 00:49:11,241
- [dolphins chittering]
<i>- </i> [yelping]

903
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:14,077
Ah, dolphin! Dolphin!

904
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,747
- Oh, shit. I'll get him, mon.
- [Papa] You get him! It's your boat.

905
00:49:17,831 --> 00:49:20,291
[yelling] Dolphin!

906
00:49:23,378 --> 00:49:26,131
Something got my leg!
Somethings touching my leg!

907
00:49:35,390 --> 00:49:36,850
[dolphin chittering]

908
00:49:46,985 --> 00:49:49,904
Ayo, weary traveler.

909
00:49:52,949 --> 00:49:56,953
You care for some dark Jamaican rum?

910
00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:59,497
Don't mind if I do.

911
00:49:59,581 --> 00:50:01,708
I'll take a belt right out of the bottle.

912
00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:02,876
Okay. Yeah.

913
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:05,545
Yeah, change my perspective a little.

914
00:50:07,547 --> 00:50:10,466
- [man] Yeah.
- It's good. That's good.

915
00:50:16,973 --> 00:50:20,643
I'm Lance. What do you go by?

916
00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:23,980
Island Man.

917
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:25,565
Ain't got no name.

918
00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:28,651
You got this crafty boat here.

919
00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:32,155
Obviously. You can't be no island man
if you don't have a ship.

920
00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:38,620
[Mama McGursky] Oh. Oh, I am still
thinking about that incredible massage.

921
00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:42,874
Oh... [moans]
Me too. [moans]

922
00:50:42,957 --> 00:50:45,126
Oh, the face he did.

923
00:50:45,210 --> 00:50:47,086
[moaning]

924
00:50:47,170 --> 00:50:50,089
Can't remember the last time
Manfred took me dancing.

925
00:50:50,173 --> 00:50:53,426
[moans] Wow. Wow.

926
00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:57,430
Wow. Oh, try this, Georgia.
It's really fun!

927
00:50:57,513 --> 00:51:00,892
You're like a cross
between a unicorn and a stork.

928
00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:03,603
- A stork.
- Georgia.

929
00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:05,271
- [cracking]
- Oh, oh, oh...

930
00:51:05,355 --> 00:51:06,356
- There you go.
- Are you okay?

931
00:51:06,439 --> 00:51:07,632
Oh, yeah.
Something just popped out.

932
00:51:07,633 --> 00:51:09,042
- Are you sure?
- No, it just popped out.

933
00:51:09,125 --> 00:51:10,526
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.

934
00:51:10,610 --> 00:51:13,238
Then they eventually
had their own child,

935
00:51:13,321 --> 00:51:17,075
you know, their real kid.
Their biological child.

936
00:51:17,158 --> 00:51:20,078
And then they tried to get rid of you?

937
00:51:20,161 --> 00:51:24,415
No. She never made me feel less than,
she made me feel like her real brother.

938
00:51:24,499 --> 00:51:26,668
And you know what I did?
I acted like a jerk.

939
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:28,878
I didn't even protect her
the way I should have.

940
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,548
So like you were the one abandoning them?

941
00:51:33,549 --> 00:51:35,009
All right, look.

942
00:51:36,177 --> 00:51:38,263
Let's go and find your destiny.

943
00:51:38,346 --> 00:51:40,556
Oh, right now?

944
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:41,849
All right. Let's do it.

945
00:51:43,059 --> 00:51:45,853
I'll have another old swig of that rum.

946
00:51:45,937 --> 00:51:47,689
[Island Man] Go ahead, son.

947
00:51:47,772 --> 00:51:49,649
Tell your tale to the ocean.

948
00:51:49,732 --> 00:51:52,819
[Lance]
They really never stopped loving me.

949
00:51:52,902 --> 00:51:54,445
It was more just me.

950
00:51:54,529 --> 00:51:58,241
It was what was going on inside of me,
and I was just insecure of it.

951
00:51:58,324 --> 00:52:01,369
I mean, I never even
did this with my old man.

952
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:03,997
[Island Man]
All right. I'll be your poppy.

953
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:07,625
[Lance] Should I be nervous?
I can't quite see the bottom here, Poppy.

954
00:52:10,503 --> 00:52:13,423
[Winston] Gentlemen,
I hope you had a great day at sea.

955
00:52:13,506 --> 00:52:15,550
- You ready for a party?
- [Tom] I need to go to bed.

956
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,260
I think I got way too much sun today.

957
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,220
[Ricky] What the hell
are you talking about, Tom?

958
00:52:19,304 --> 00:52:22,015
I've been waiting this whole darn time
to get into some nasty trouble.

959
00:52:22,098 --> 00:52:23,474
[Tom] All right. Fine. One drink.

960
00:52:23,558 --> 00:52:25,560
- [people chattering]
- [dance music playing]

961
00:52:53,963 --> 00:52:56,674
Let's take some shots and get fucked up.

962
00:53:10,021 --> 00:53:12,940
[man] Welcome to the par-ty.

963
00:53:48,851 --> 00:53:50,853
<i>♪</i>

964
00:54:35,106 --> 00:54:39,068
- [women laughing]
- I think I've died and gone to heaven.

965
00:54:39,152 --> 00:54:41,112
[Georgia]
Oh! What have you done to yourself?

966
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:42,738
I don't know, I pulled something.

967
00:54:42,822 --> 00:54:44,657
- Oh, God.
- Oh, and how did you pull that, miss?

968
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:47,285
Well, it's either dancing
or looking at that beautiful man.

969
00:54:47,368 --> 00:54:49,579
Classic Mud Pie.

970
00:54:49,662 --> 00:54:51,539
Mud Pie and Cotton Candy
are like Thelma and Louise.

971
00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:53,708
Most beautiful bride,
well, this is my stop.

972
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:54,876
Goodnight, ladies.

973
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:58,129
- [exhales] That was fun.
- That was fun.

974
00:55:00,173 --> 00:55:03,092
Your father and I are so happy for you.

975
00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:06,262
Of course, we were very worried
about you for a while.

976
00:55:06,345 --> 00:55:07,763
I know.

977
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:10,475
You know, I'm so excited, too.

978
00:55:10,558 --> 00:55:14,812
He really is the man of my dreams.

979
00:55:14,896 --> 00:55:16,564
Your father's the man of my...

980
00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:20,359
[snoring]

981
00:55:20,443 --> 00:55:22,820
Mom?

982
00:55:22,904 --> 00:55:25,448
Did you...
Did you fall asleep with...

983
00:55:25,531 --> 00:55:27,783
- I'm right here. I'm right here.
- ...your eyes open?

984
00:55:27,867 --> 00:55:30,495
- Again?
- I'm right here.

985
00:55:31,496 --> 00:55:32,747
I'm worried about you.

986
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:35,416
It looked like you fell asleep
with your eyes open. Mom?

987
00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:36,751
Are you okay?

988
00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:38,628
<i>I'll just...</i>

989
00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:43,299
[reggae music playing]

990
00:55:53,434 --> 00:55:55,436
[birds chattering]
Tits, tits, tits...

991
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,438
tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits...

992
00:55:57,522 --> 00:55:59,982
SWEET... tits, tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits, tits

993
00:55:59,983 --> 00:56:00,983
SWWEEEETTTT

994
00:56:00,984 --> 00:56:03,027
[parrots chattering]
I can't stand these goddamn tourists.

995
00:56:03,110 --> 00:56:04,570
Did you hear...?

996
00:56:04,654 --> 00:56:06,280
No. What?

997
00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:08,866
I heard one of them blew the other one...

998
00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:11,953
His fiancé is gonna be PISSED!

999
00:56:12,370 --> 00:56:15,790
Not as much as she will be
during the wedding.

1000
00:56:16,207 --> 00:56:19,627
Yeah... If there's a wedding... HAHA.

1001
00:56:19,628 --> 00:56:21,270
[birds chattering] Tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits...

1002
00:56:21,354 --> 00:56:23,756
NNNNN... Dicks. Dicks. Dicks. Dicks.
Dicks...

1003
00:56:23,839 --> 00:56:27,552
BIIIIGGGGG...
Dicks. Dicks. Dicks. Dicks. Dicks...

1004
00:56:27,635 --> 00:56:29,303
[gong rings]

1005
00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:35,434
I feel like shit.

1006
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:39,397
Oh, hey, sexy.

1007
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:42,733
You really went all out last night.

1008
00:56:43,943 --> 00:56:45,278
Shit.

1009
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:49,073
Don't go.

1010
00:56:49,156 --> 00:56:50,283
[door opens, closes]

1011
00:56:51,284 --> 00:56:53,286
<i>♪</i>

1012
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,753
[Tom] Ricky!

1013
00:57:02,837 --> 00:57:04,880
Ricky! Ricky!

1014
00:57:07,717 --> 00:57:10,595
Yo, get up, man.
What the fuck happened last night?

1015
00:57:11,679 --> 00:57:13,681
- Hey, hey, what happened?
- [grunting]

1016
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:15,683
- We took some pills.
- We took some pills?

1017
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,436
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We got fucked up, had some bananas.

1018
00:57:18,519 --> 00:57:20,271
Fuck!

1019
00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:21,480
What happened with the girl?

1020
00:57:21,564 --> 00:57:24,525
[mutters] I woke up in her room and...

1021
00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:26,527
- Oh, shit. You fucked her.
- No, I didn't fuck her, okay?

1022
00:57:26,611 --> 00:57:28,112
- Nice.
- No, that's not nice!

1023
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:30,448
Oh, this is a bachelor party well done.

1024
00:57:30,531 --> 00:57:32,700
- No.
- Yes. [yells]

1025
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:35,328
Well, I had my pants on.
I had my shoes on. And...

1026
00:57:35,411 --> 00:57:36,996
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.

1027
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:38,748
This is all your fault.

1028
00:57:38,831 --> 00:57:41,459
[Ricky panting]

1029
00:57:41,542 --> 00:57:43,502
Fuck!

1030
00:57:43,586 --> 00:57:45,046
It was a good night.

1031
00:57:45,129 --> 00:57:47,214
Let's do it again.

1032
00:57:47,298 --> 00:57:48,591
[man laughing]

1033
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:52,678
[Island Man]
<i>Remember, every man is an island</i>

1034
00:57:52,762 --> 00:57:55,723
<i>trying to find his way home.</i>

1035
00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:57,767
What did I drink?

1036
00:57:57,850 --> 00:58:00,603
[Island Man] Time to go home.

1037
00:58:02,021 --> 00:58:05,900
<i>Have faith, and always follow the current,</i>

1038
00:58:05,983 --> 00:58:10,112
<i>no matter how rough and tough
the seas may be.</i>

1039
00:58:14,075 --> 00:58:15,326
[grunts]

1040
00:58:17,828 --> 00:58:20,331
<i>Now, go on and find your next adventure.</i>

1041
00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:24,960
Ow! Where the hell am I?
I mean, was this guy real?

1042
00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:27,672
[Island Man]
<i>But not that direction. Lord God!</i>

1043
00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:29,882
<i>You're going the wrong way.</i>

1044
00:58:29,965 --> 00:58:32,051
Gosh, I'm so hung over.

1045
00:58:32,134 --> 00:58:33,844
You were supposed
to look after him, Ricky.

1046
00:58:33,928 --> 00:58:35,596
I did, I think.

1047
00:58:39,308 --> 00:58:41,018
What did you guys do last night?

1048
00:58:41,102 --> 00:58:43,479
We just passed out after the hot tub.

1049
00:58:43,562 --> 00:58:46,399
I would love to pass out
in a hot tub with you.

1050
00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:48,609
[grunts]
I would, I would, I would.

1051
00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:51,070
Okay.
For the last time, Ricky,

1052
00:58:51,153 --> 00:58:54,865
there is no scenario in which
I will ever sleep with you.

1053
00:58:54,949 --> 00:58:58,369
Not even... Not even
if there was a nuclear holocaust

1054
00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:00,246
and we were
the last people left on Earth.

1055
00:59:00,329 --> 00:59:03,999
Not even if I thought it would cure
cancer, Ebola, and AIDS!

1056
00:59:04,083 --> 00:59:07,878
Not even if it stopped people
from voting Republican.

1057
00:59:07,962 --> 00:59:09,338
I don't wanna get political with you.

1058
00:59:09,422 --> 00:59:11,632
I just wanna have some sex
with you on the beach.

1059
00:59:11,716 --> 00:59:13,759
Okay. Ignore them.

1060
00:59:13,843 --> 00:59:16,095
What are we gonna do today?

1061
00:59:16,178 --> 00:59:20,766
Uh, I think we should probably
just fall asleep on the beach and just...

1062
00:59:20,850 --> 00:59:22,351
[man] Hey, banana boy?

1063
00:59:24,603 --> 00:59:25,938
I think he's talking about us.

1064
00:59:26,021 --> 00:59:27,356
Yeah. I'm banana boy.

1065
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,108
Deep throat!

1066
00:59:30,109 --> 00:59:32,403
[Ricky] Yep. That's me.

1067
00:59:34,697 --> 00:59:36,574
- He's... He's talking to me.
- He's talking to Rick.

1068
00:59:36,657 --> 00:59:38,826
This is one of Ricky's things.

1069
00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:41,162
- I'm sorry.
- He's a banana...

1070
00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:42,455
We... We should just get out of here

1071
00:59:42,538 --> 00:59:44,749
- and go hiking around, or something.
- Yeah.

1072
00:59:44,832 --> 00:59:46,125
- Bye, guys.
- Love you, bro.

1073
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,668
Bye.

1074
00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:54,383
So? That was strange.

1075
00:59:54,467 --> 00:59:57,428
What exactly did you two
get up to last night?

1076
00:59:57,511 --> 01:00:00,973
We acted like true gentlemen
last night, if you must know.

1077
01:00:01,974 --> 01:00:04,351
Okay. This was fun.

1078
01:00:04,435 --> 01:00:06,645
- See you soon.
- In hell.

1079
01:00:06,729 --> 01:00:07,855
Miss you already.

1080
01:00:09,023 --> 01:00:12,026
[chuckles]
Oh, hello.

1081
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,696
We're here.
The... The... Oh, the...

1082
01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:18,991
What she's trying to say is we are here
to see the psychosexual kinesiologist,

1083
01:00:19,074 --> 01:00:21,786
who also happens
to be a subdural neuromanipulator.

1084
01:00:21,869 --> 01:00:24,538
She's actually a sex coach.

1085
01:00:24,622 --> 01:00:27,541
Okay. Well, I just like to say
subdural neurologist

1086
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:30,002
because it makes me feel smart.
[giggles]

1087
01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:34,465
Could you go ahead and sign
these first for me, please?

1088
01:00:34,548 --> 01:00:38,052
Oh, sure. Sure.

1089
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:41,555
[gasps] Oh, oh, oh...

1090
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:43,182
[chuckles] I got it.

1091
01:00:43,265 --> 01:00:44,433
Oh, you're all right.

1092
01:00:45,643 --> 01:00:48,771
"Mindful Sexuality." Uh-huh.

1093
01:00:48,854 --> 01:00:52,566
"Water Work. Love Your Leather.

1094
01:00:52,650 --> 01:00:58,906
How to Dom Your Inner Sub,
Candle Play: Don't get burned."

1095
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,699
Sign me up for everything.

1096
01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:03,994
Name.

1097
01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:05,454
What address?

1098
01:01:07,122 --> 01:01:08,791
All right.

1099
01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:13,587
Uh, what's "safe word"?

1100
01:01:15,548 --> 01:01:17,550
[reggae music playing]

1101
01:01:23,097 --> 01:01:24,640
[humming]

1102
01:01:26,559 --> 01:01:29,144
Whoo. Oh, that's refreshing.

1103
01:01:29,228 --> 01:01:33,941
Oh. Howard Freeman, upper management
and DODC here at Hedo II.

1104
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:37,278
I've been watching you very, very closely

1105
01:01:37,361 --> 01:01:40,364
since your arrival here, and...

1106
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:44,869
and I have to say,
you really have a nice way about you.

1107
01:01:44,952 --> 01:01:47,788
You're light on your feet, agile,

1108
01:01:47,872 --> 01:01:51,417
and I notice when you walk
into a room, just lights up.

1109
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,460
Thanks.

1110
01:01:53,544 --> 01:01:55,796
You ever done any professional dancing?

1111
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,799
No, I... I did a high school,
uh, <i>Sound of</i> Music.

1112
01:01:58,883 --> 01:02:00,467
<i>♪ The hills are alive ♪</i>

1113
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,928
I bet you gave old Plummer
a run for his money, huh?

1114
01:02:03,012 --> 01:02:05,931
Hey, speaking of plumbing,
how are your pipes doing, Tom?

1115
01:02:06,015 --> 01:02:07,641
They're good.

1116
01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:08,934
The dry-cleaning for your wedding,

1117
01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:12,813
it's gonna be nothing short
of perfection and gratis.

1118
01:02:12,897 --> 01:02:14,523
What's, uh, what's <i>gratis?</i>

1119
01:02:14,607 --> 01:02:17,234
That means on the house, Tommy boy.

1120
01:02:17,318 --> 01:02:19,737
I'll see you at the wedding.

1121
01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:24,074
<i>[Tom VO] Who the hell was that?</i>

1122
01:02:29,872 --> 01:02:31,248
Hi.

1123
01:02:32,374 --> 01:02:33,375
[laughing]

1124
01:02:35,127 --> 01:02:36,795
This is a double, right?

1125
01:02:36,879 --> 01:02:38,756
- Lance, Lance.
- Oh, hi.

1126
01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:40,799
Okay. So, something is going on.

1127
01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:41,984
- The boys were acting...
- Yeah.

1128
01:02:42,067 --> 01:02:43,385
...so weird
at breakfast this morning.

1129
01:02:43,469 --> 01:02:46,931
- Super suspicious.
- Something's going on.

1130
01:02:47,014 --> 01:02:51,518
Something very, very odd
is happening around here.

1131
01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:54,355
People were walking past
and they were shouting things like,

1132
01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:57,107
"Oh, banana blow job,
cock cowboy," and "deep throat."

1133
01:02:57,191 --> 01:02:59,109
And I think...

1134
01:02:59,193 --> 01:03:03,072
Ricky gave Tom
a blow job last night.

1135
01:03:04,448 --> 01:03:08,160
Uh... [sucks air through teeth]
Okay.

1136
01:03:08,243 --> 01:03:10,955
Well, that's absolutely
gonna devastate Laura.

1137
01:03:11,038 --> 01:03:14,083
But nobody wants to listen
to old Lance. No.

1138
01:03:14,166 --> 01:03:16,919
No one wants to listen to Lance.

1139
01:03:17,002 --> 01:03:19,004
I've had an idea. All right.

1140
01:03:19,088 --> 01:03:21,048
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna fix this.

1141
01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,275
I'm gonna figure it out.
And then I'm gonna come find you, okay?

1142
01:03:23,358 --> 01:03:24,359
- Okay.
- Okay?

1143
01:03:24,443 --> 01:03:25,636
Okay. Just call me in my room.

1144
01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:29,056
So, you wanna go check out the nude pool?

1145
01:03:30,057 --> 01:03:32,226
Ah, there's a nude pool.

1146
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:33,894
She'll come, too.

1147
01:03:33,978 --> 01:03:37,439
Strange winds are blowing around here.

1148
01:03:37,523 --> 01:03:41,068
[deep breath]

1149
01:03:45,072 --> 01:03:47,533
A perfect orgasm

1150
01:03:47,616 --> 01:03:52,454
is a confluence of all five senses:

1151
01:03:53,455 --> 01:03:54,999
Touch...

1152
01:03:57,918 --> 01:03:59,169
Taste...

1153
01:04:04,091 --> 01:04:05,509
[sniffs, moans]

1154
01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:06,885
Smell...

1155
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:09,888
[moans] Sound...

1156
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:12,558
And sight.

1157
01:04:16,437 --> 01:04:20,399
And unroll to reveal your tools.

1158
01:04:20,482 --> 01:04:24,570
We will focus on one sense at a time.

1159
01:04:24,653 --> 01:04:27,698
Placing all of your tools...

1160
01:04:32,244 --> 01:04:33,495
[exhales]

1161
01:04:33,579 --> 01:04:38,500
Let your hands and your bodies
express your sensations.

1162
01:04:41,170 --> 01:04:43,047
[rhythmic breathing]

1163
01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:51,764
- Gentlemen.
- [bell ringing]

1164
01:04:51,847 --> 01:04:54,391
We are ready for you to enter us.

1165
01:04:55,809 --> 01:05:00,355
You can do this. Yeah!
Yeah, you can.

1166
01:05:02,066 --> 01:05:03,901
No, no, stop it.

1167
01:05:03,984 --> 01:05:05,986
All right. Come on.

1168
01:05:08,322 --> 01:05:10,282
God, I'm a good friend.

1169
01:05:10,365 --> 01:05:11,742
[deep breath]

1170
01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:13,827
[reggae music playing]

1171
01:05:28,050 --> 01:05:29,718
Hey, Mr. Ricky.

1172
01:05:32,012 --> 01:05:35,182
Do you wanna order
a cold drink for a thirsty girl?

1173
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:38,519
Yeah, I do.
A lot of tits and ass everywhere.

1174
01:05:38,602 --> 01:05:39,853
[exhales]

1175
01:05:39,937 --> 01:05:41,063
Hey, Ricky!

1176
01:05:42,981 --> 01:05:44,233
Whoa!

1177
01:05:45,692 --> 01:05:48,779
I knew you come around
for some of that Ricky dick.

1178
01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:52,449
Let's go make a Ricky flick.
Come on.

1179
01:05:52,533 --> 01:05:54,118
[whimpers]

1180
01:05:54,201 --> 01:05:57,204
Tantric sexual stimulation,

1181
01:05:57,287 --> 01:06:00,040
it's about admitting a desire.

1182
01:06:03,961 --> 01:06:06,964
Share a desire.

1183
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:14,388
[sex coach laughs]

1184
01:06:19,268 --> 01:06:21,228
- That's my finger.
- [laughing]

1185
01:06:21,311 --> 01:06:24,565
[sex coach] Share a fantasy
you've never admitted.

1186
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,150
- [laughing]
<i>- </i> [spitting]

1187
01:06:26,233 --> 01:06:27,526
Meow.

1188
01:06:27,609 --> 01:06:31,530
Now, experience your sensations.

1189
01:06:32,739 --> 01:06:34,950
- [explosion]
- [moaning]

1190
01:06:40,539 --> 01:06:41,874
[snoring]

1191
01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:46,670
<i>- </i> [burning]
- [grunts]

1192
01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:48,338
[reggae music playing]

1193
01:06:53,802 --> 01:06:55,846
[coughing]

1194
01:06:58,599 --> 01:07:00,851
- Huh?
- There's a beautiful girl, mon.

1195
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:10,861
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She's attractive all right.

1196
01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:15,616
Something about her.

1197
01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:19,328
You should go talk to her, mon.

1198
01:07:19,411 --> 01:07:22,456
Oh, uh, yeah.
Actually, we already met.

1199
01:07:22,539 --> 01:07:25,167
She's, you know,
she's going through kind of a hard time.

1200
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:28,003
- She got left at the altar.
- Yeah, mon.

1201
01:07:28,086 --> 01:07:29,671
- Yeah. Very sad.
- Broken heart, mon.

1202
01:07:29,755 --> 01:07:30,964
- Yeah.
- Hmm.

1203
01:07:31,048 --> 01:07:33,675
You should mend that heart
with big Janelle right there.

1204
01:07:33,759 --> 01:07:36,470
Get an orgy going. I can watch.

1205
01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:40,140
You take her to the romper room, mon,
and you tie her up like a goat.

1206
01:07:40,224 --> 01:07:42,142
No. You're not hearing what I'm saying.

1207
01:07:42,226 --> 01:07:44,811
She's a nice girl.
She just got left at the altar.

1208
01:07:44,895 --> 01:07:46,438
She's going through kind of a rough time.

1209
01:07:46,521 --> 01:07:49,566
If I were to say something to her,
it'd be like, I don't know.

1210
01:07:49,650 --> 01:07:52,194
"Would you like to go for a walk
on the beach?" Something like that.

1211
01:07:52,277 --> 01:07:53,920
- You see what I'm saying?
- Yeah, mon. Yeah, mon.

1212
01:07:54,004 --> 01:07:58,700
- Yeah.
- She is a really pretty woman.

1213
01:08:00,369 --> 01:08:02,871
It does seem like she's looking
over here, though.

1214
01:08:02,955 --> 01:08:04,831
She's definitely
looking right at you, mon.

1215
01:08:04,915 --> 01:08:07,292
- Hold the gaze.
- Yeah. You think so?

1216
01:08:07,376 --> 01:08:09,628
She's almost as beautiful as my wife.

1217
01:08:09,711 --> 01:08:11,713
- You're married?
- Yeah, mon.

1218
01:08:11,797 --> 01:08:15,008
So, what are you doing
in this cabana right beside me?

1219
01:08:16,677 --> 01:08:18,053
I was noticing your pants.

1220
01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:19,680
They're, uh, really nice.

1221
01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:22,516
- What kind of pants are those?
- Oh, you're not Jamaican? Where you from?

1222
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:26,436
I'm actually from Long Island.
But, uh, dual citizen, mon.

1223
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:29,731
Uh... Let me, uh...

1224
01:08:29,815 --> 01:08:31,400
Let me press
these pants for you, for real.

1225
01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:33,277
No, thank you.

1226
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:37,281
By the way, my wife think
you look like Matt Lauer, man.

1227
01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:39,032
Oh, yeah?
Well, I don't know if you heard,

1228
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:41,785
he got into a little trouble
back in the States.

1229
01:08:41,868 --> 01:08:44,621
Oh, no, mon.
She's gonna be devastated.

1230
01:08:44,705 --> 01:08:45,747
Is he gonna be okay?

1231
01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:49,084
Have you been here the whole time?

1232
01:08:50,085 --> 01:08:51,378
[exhales]

1233
01:08:54,423 --> 01:08:56,425
[pop music playing]

1234
01:09:03,307 --> 01:09:07,602
[Tom] All right. I think I hear
the waterfall right over here somewhere.

1235
01:09:07,686 --> 01:09:10,605
All right. It's just right over here.

1236
01:10:29,142 --> 01:10:30,394
So...

1237
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,731
You wanna just take our clothes off?

1238
01:10:38,735 --> 01:10:40,737
<i>♪</i>

1239
01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:51,081
Are you okay?

1240
01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:54,042
Georgia, what did you discover
about Tom and Ricky?

1241
01:10:54,126 --> 01:10:55,752
- Uh...
- Did Ricky fellate Torn?

1242
01:10:59,631 --> 01:11:06,054
So, uh, Ricky...
Ricky is, urn, straight, yeah.

1243
01:11:06,138 --> 01:11:08,181
Straight as an arrow for you, babe.

1244
01:11:08,265 --> 01:11:12,185
And, you know,
he's a surprisingly, uh...

1245
01:11:12,269 --> 01:11:16,314
deep and, um, spiritual...
philosophical individual.

1246
01:11:16,398 --> 01:11:19,985
Very philosophical.
Um, Shakespeare once said...

1247
01:11:20,068 --> 01:11:22,112
- Did you blow Tom?
- Uh...

1248
01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:23,530
Why are you looking at her?

1249
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:26,283
Simple question;
did you go down on him?

1250
01:11:26,366 --> 01:11:29,661
I'm not sure what happened.
It was a big night out.

1251
01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:33,623
We took some pills and Tom
woke up in some chick's room.

1252
01:11:33,707 --> 01:11:35,167
- But it's all my fault.
- [Lance] Okay.

1253
01:11:35,250 --> 01:11:37,961
I'm gonna, uh, go grab a wet wipe.

1254
01:11:40,380 --> 01:11:42,382
<i>♪</i>

1255
01:11:46,136 --> 01:11:48,597
<i>[Lance VO] Okay. A guy as dumb as Tom</i>

1256
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:51,766
<i>has to leave a few clues
here and there.</i>

1257
01:11:51,850 --> 01:11:54,436
<i>Jesus Christ.</i>

1258
01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:55,562
<i>Just you, Lance.</i>

1259
01:11:57,355 --> 01:11:58,857
[elephant trumpets]

1260
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,117
- [moaning]
- Oh, <i>gee.</i>

1261
01:12:19,669 --> 01:12:21,338
[glass shatters]

1262
01:12:21,421 --> 01:12:24,341
<i>Shit. Luckily, this is all inclusive.</i>

1263
01:12:24,424 --> 01:12:26,551
[indistinct chatter]

1264
01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:31,806
[door unlocks]

1265
01:12:39,898 --> 01:12:41,399
- Ooh.
- Oh.

1266
01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:42,776
- Okay.
- Can you get it off?

1267
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,110
- Yup.
- Oh.

1268
01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:46,905
[grunts]

1269
01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:47,989
Ooh!

1270
01:12:58,542 --> 01:13:00,126
[Lance coughing]

1271
01:13:03,672 --> 01:13:05,966
Dude, what the fuck, man? Shit.

1272
01:13:06,049 --> 01:13:09,386
Don't you have any boundaries?

1273
01:13:09,469 --> 01:13:10,971
Yeah, I got boundaries.

1274
01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:15,976
I also got a couple of questions
for this guy right here, your fiance.

1275
01:13:16,059 --> 01:13:19,312
I just had a little chat
with your best man.

1276
01:13:19,396 --> 01:13:21,731
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay. Yeah.

1277
01:13:21,815 --> 01:13:25,235
Look, Lance, Tom is a good guy.

1278
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:27,445
I love him and we're getting married,

1279
01:13:27,529 --> 01:13:30,782
and you have to learn
how to just deal with it.

1280
01:13:30,865 --> 01:13:32,701
Oh, you want me to deal with it?

1281
01:13:32,784 --> 01:13:36,079
Let me tell you something about
this so-called "good guy," all right?

1282
01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:39,708
And this hurts me to tell you this,
but he slept with another woman.

1283
01:13:39,791 --> 01:13:41,334
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.

1284
01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:43,837
Sit down! That's right, honey.

1285
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,880
He fornicated with another girl.

1286
01:13:45,964 --> 01:13:48,300
- [Laura] What?
- Yeah. Tell her.

1287
01:13:48,383 --> 01:13:51,761
- Explain it to her.
- What is he talking about, Tom?

1288
01:13:51,845 --> 01:13:53,722
- [exhales]
- Yeah, what am I talking about, Tom?

1289
01:13:53,805 --> 01:13:57,017
You know what?
Let me handle this one.

1290
01:13:57,100 --> 01:14:00,228
My investigation so far
has yielded the information

1291
01:14:00,312 --> 01:14:03,523
that, uh, there is a woman named Anna.

1292
01:14:03,607 --> 01:14:07,277
Does that ring a bell, Tom,
if that's even your real name?

1293
01:14:08,278 --> 01:14:10,739
I-I-I... I don't...
I don't know... I don't... I don't...

1294
01:14:10,822 --> 01:14:13,033
- [muttering]
- I...

1295
01:14:13,116 --> 01:14:14,451
What, is English your second language?

1296
01:14:14,534 --> 01:14:15,827
- I... Okay...
- Speak!

1297
01:14:15,910 --> 01:14:18,163
- Okay.
- Just tell me what happened.

1298
01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:21,333
I... I woke up in another
woman's room and I don't...

1299
01:14:21,416 --> 01:14:22,917
- I don't think I did anything.
- Oh, oh, oh.

1300
01:14:23,001 --> 01:14:24,461
You woke up in another woman's room?

1301
01:14:24,544 --> 01:14:26,463
- Are you hearing this, honey?
- I... Okay.

1302
01:14:26,546 --> 01:14:29,616
I had... I had... I had no
shirt on but my shorts were on.

1303
01:14:29,699 --> 01:14:31,067
- My shorts were on...
- His shirt was off

1304
01:14:31,151 --> 01:14:32,886
but he thinks he had his underoos on.

1305
01:14:32,887 --> 01:14:34,079
What the fuck
are you talking about?

1306
01:14:34,162 --> 01:14:35,697
But my... My shoes was...
My shorts were on...

1307
01:14:35,780 --> 01:14:36,781
- She's furious.
- And my...

1308
01:14:36,865 --> 01:14:38,266
My shoes were on and... And I don't...

1309
01:14:38,350 --> 01:14:40,685
I wouldn't... I wouldn't do anything.
I know myself.

1310
01:14:40,769 --> 01:14:42,479
He thinks that he had clothes on.

1311
01:14:42,562 --> 01:14:43,897
Starting to see what I mean here?

1312
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:46,149
I... Dude, that's not...

1313
01:14:46,232 --> 01:14:47,776
It's not what you think.
I didn't cheat.

1314
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:50,570
Go walk it off, sis.
I'm right behind you.

1315
01:14:50,654 --> 01:14:54,074
You're disgusting. I agree
with what she said a hundred percent,

1316
01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:55,700
and so far as I can tell,

1317
01:14:55,784 --> 01:14:59,204
you're just one more guy
who cheats on his fiancée.

1318
01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:02,248
And I think that that's just horrible.

1319
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:05,919
And this room's a goddamn pigsty.

1320
01:15:07,921 --> 01:15:09,339
[door opens, closes]

1321
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:12,133
Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something.

1322
01:15:12,217 --> 01:15:14,511
Oh. What the...

1323
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:18,640
- What the fuck?
- [toilet flushes]

1324
01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:20,975
You must be the bride.
Congratulations.

1325
01:15:21,059 --> 01:15:22,394
- Hi, honey.
- Morn?

1326
01:15:29,025 --> 01:15:30,652
[thunder rumbles]

1327
01:15:49,504 --> 01:15:51,464
[Lance] He had us all fooled.

1328
01:15:51,548 --> 01:15:54,551
I got to admit,
you did seem pretty happy.

1329
01:15:55,552 --> 01:15:59,931
And I'm sorry that I wasn't
more happy for you.

1330
01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:04,144
Well, I didn't exactly always
make it easy for you to be happy for me.

1331
01:16:04,227 --> 01:16:07,230
You don't have to say that.

1332
01:16:08,523 --> 01:16:12,318
I'm just sorry that I never
really tried to understand you.

1333
01:16:12,402 --> 01:16:15,113
Hey, to me, you were the only person

1334
01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:19,409
that never really
did understand me, all right?

1335
01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:24,956
And, well, I'm sorry I didn't
treat you like a real brother.

1336
01:16:25,039 --> 01:16:28,585
Lance, you're better than any real brother
I could ever ask for.

1337
01:16:29,586 --> 01:16:31,880
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1338
01:16:40,305 --> 01:16:42,156
- Please, just talk to me. Please.
- Don't talk to me.

1339
01:16:42,240 --> 01:16:43,558
I can't even look at you.

1340
01:16:43,641 --> 01:16:45,101
Excuse me.
Is everything okay?

1341
01:16:45,185 --> 01:16:46,936
No, I need a car to the airport.
I'm leaving.

1342
01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:49,606
- What about your beautiful wedding?
- It's not happening.

1343
01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:51,065
At this point, it's too late.

1344
01:16:51,149 --> 01:16:53,985
There is no cabs, no flights out.

1345
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:55,987
Winston, she's got to fly out tonight.

1346
01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:58,281
I'll get her a cab
and the first flight out in the morning.

1347
01:16:58,364 --> 01:16:59,991
It's a great idea.

1348
01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:02,744
Tonight, you either stay with Georgia
or you stay with myself.

1349
01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:04,662
And buddy, your ticket's been punched.

1350
01:17:04,746 --> 01:17:07,457
Laura, come this way.
Thank you, Winston.

1351
01:17:09,459 --> 01:17:13,588
You know, it would've been
such a wonderful wedding.

1352
01:17:13,671 --> 01:17:15,673
[pop music playing]

1353
01:18:39,132 --> 01:18:42,510
- Morning, son.
- Morning, Dad.

1354
01:18:42,594 --> 01:18:44,304
[groans]

1355
01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:58,651
I don't really know what to do.

1356
01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:02,113
I thought it was
what you and Morn have.

1357
01:19:03,114 --> 01:19:07,118
Well, your morn and I have...
discovered new things, too.

1358
01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:12,707
We've been together a long time
and the flame starts to die a little bit,

1359
01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,792
you know, not like that seven-year itch
kind of thing,

1360
01:19:14,876 --> 01:19:17,545
but something a whole lot more.

1361
01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:21,841
You know, so you try something.

1362
01:19:21,925 --> 01:19:25,637
You don't think you're gonna
like it, but you do.

1363
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:28,431
So you try something else.

1364
01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:32,810
You know, every time I see you
and Laura Jane together, I...

1365
01:19:32,894 --> 01:19:36,481
I just think,
"Boy, don't ever lose that."

1366
01:19:40,193 --> 01:19:42,904
[sighs]
You think it's too late to fix this?

1367
01:19:42,987 --> 01:19:46,699
Well, son, in the end, nothing's too late.

1368
01:19:46,783 --> 01:19:49,744
Dad, what do I do?

1369
01:19:49,827 --> 01:19:51,996
I can't tell you that, son.

1370
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,706
That's up to you to decide.

1371
01:19:53,790 --> 01:19:57,085
Worst fucking day ever.

1372
01:19:57,168 --> 01:19:59,921
Hey, man, can I get a couple,
um, a couple shots, just...

1373
01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:02,632
just line them up here,
and I'll take them.

1374
01:20:09,097 --> 01:20:11,099
[pop music playing]

1375
01:20:14,936 --> 01:20:19,023
<i>Tommy, you look ridiculous.</i>

1376
01:20:22,276 --> 01:20:25,029
<i>So what? You fucked up.</i>

1377
01:20:25,113 --> 01:20:26,739
<i>Now listen to me carefully.</i>

1378
01:20:26,823 --> 01:20:28,491
<i>I have three words
of advice for you, kid.</i>

1379
01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:31,786
Chase your dreams, fulfill your destiny,
and go get a haircut.

1380
01:20:31,869 --> 01:20:32,870
You look like a moron.

1381
01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:37,917
Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

1382
01:20:38,001 --> 01:20:41,295
Sober up, take a shower and go get her.

1383
01:20:41,379 --> 01:20:45,341
<i>And use deodorant. I'm a hallucination,
I can still smell you.</i>

1384
01:20:46,759 --> 01:20:48,845
Mr. Tom, hurry up, mon.

1385
01:20:50,054 --> 01:20:51,431
She's a runaway, mon.

1386
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:52,765
All right, let's go, let's go.

1387
01:20:52,849 --> 01:20:55,309
All right, Andy.
Rip these roads, mon.

1388
01:20:55,393 --> 01:20:57,937
[Tom] All right, let's go.
How long until we get there?

1389
01:20:58,021 --> 01:20:59,772
- Two hours, mon.
- [Tom] Fuck.

1390
01:20:59,856 --> 01:21:01,399
He's cute.

1391
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:02,734
- He is hot.
- So wasted.

1392
01:21:02,817 --> 01:21:04,527
I couldn't even take his shoes off.

1393
01:21:04,610 --> 01:21:05,695
- That's how loyal he is.
- Wow.

1394
01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:07,572
Oh. Who's Laura, anyways?

1395
01:21:07,655 --> 01:21:09,782
I don't know. I don't care.

1396
01:21:09,866 --> 01:21:11,492
- Oh, man.
- I just love him.

1397
01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:14,162
<i>- Laura, I need to throw up.
- It's a shame.</i>

1398
01:21:14,245 --> 01:21:16,622
- Laura.
- He loved his fucking girlfriend.

1399
01:21:16,706 --> 01:21:20,334
- Who's Laura?
- Oh, fuck!

1400
01:21:20,418 --> 01:21:21,711
- Laura.
- Who's that?

1401
01:21:21,794 --> 01:21:23,004
All right, thanks, guys.

1402
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,630
[Andy] All right, Tom.

1403
01:21:24,714 --> 01:21:26,632
[Ira] Make sure you tell her
that you love her

1404
01:21:26,716 --> 01:21:29,427
and that she's
the only woman in the world,

1405
01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:33,056
and you take her to the romper room
and you tie her up like a goat.

1406
01:21:34,057 --> 01:21:35,475
All right. Thanks. Yeah.

1407
01:21:40,980 --> 01:21:42,857
[people chattering]

1408
01:21:42,940 --> 01:21:44,776
[phone ringing]

1409
01:21:44,859 --> 01:21:46,778
- Hello?
- [Georgia] Laura?

1410
01:21:47,779 --> 01:21:50,281
<i>- Georgia?
- I have something to tell you.</i>

1411
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:51,532
<i>Laura, can you hear me?</i>

1412
01:21:51,616 --> 01:21:53,743
- I can't... I can't hear you.
- Laura, he <i>didn't</i> do it.

1413
01:21:55,953 --> 01:21:57,955
<i>♪</i>

1414
01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:06,547
I really...
I really messed up,

1415
01:22:06,631 --> 01:22:08,758
and I can't stop
thinking about you and I was...

1416
01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:10,927
I was... I was running around
the hotel looking for you and...

1417
01:22:11,010 --> 01:22:14,055
Stop. I know you would
never do anything to hurt me.

1418
01:22:14,138 --> 01:22:15,932
This weekend has been...
It's been crazy,

1419
01:22:16,015 --> 01:22:19,685
and with, you know, the family and...

1420
01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:21,312
I can't imagine my life without you.

1421
01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:24,107
- I just-I just had-had to tell you.
- Can you just shut up and kiss me?

1422
01:22:24,190 --> 01:22:26,192
[pop music playing]

1423
01:24:00,453 --> 01:24:03,039
Hey, uh, Mr. Manfred, sir.

1424
01:24:03,122 --> 01:24:05,249
- Mr. Manfred, sir?
- Oh, my God.

1425
01:24:05,333 --> 01:24:07,543
I'm sorry.
This isn't a bad time, is it?

1426
01:24:07,544 --> 01:24:09,853
I was hoping I could maybe talk to you
about that business proposal.

1427
01:24:09,854 --> 01:24:11,923
Do you have a few minutes to talk?

1428
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:15,718
[chuckles, sighs]

1429
01:24:16,719 --> 01:24:18,179
How much?

1430
01:24:20,264 --> 01:24:23,142
Uh, I'm sorry. I don't...

1431
01:24:23,226 --> 01:24:25,561
How much?

1432
01:24:25,645 --> 01:24:30,149
How much for you to leave me
and my family alone

1433
01:24:30,233 --> 01:24:31,859
for the rest of our lives?

1434
01:24:38,282 --> 01:24:39,367
Five hundred?

1435
01:24:42,036 --> 01:24:43,412
Half million dollars?

1436
01:24:43,496 --> 01:24:45,873
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.
Not a half million dollars,

1437
01:24:45,957 --> 01:24:48,417
like, I was thinking $500.

1438
01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,628
I... I... I already got 1,500 saved up

1439
01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:53,714
so that would put me at 2,000
which should be a nice nest egg

1440
01:24:53,798 --> 01:24:55,608
to open a little dry cleaner
right here on the island.

1441
01:24:55,691 --> 01:24:58,803
[chuckles]
Who do I make that out to?

1442
01:25:00,096 --> 01:25:01,931
Ira Goldstein, sir.

1443
01:25:05,226 --> 01:25:06,769
Good job.

1444
01:25:06,852 --> 01:25:08,104
Good doing business with you.

1445
01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:14,151
On second thought,
would you maybe, uh, pay me in cash?

1446
01:25:14,235 --> 01:25:17,571
Check's totally fine.
Don't even worry about it.

1447
01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:20,533
Thanks, Mr. Manfred.

1448
01:25:22,326 --> 01:25:24,370
[glass clinking]

1449
01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:27,873
[Lance] Uh, first off, I've been
down here a couple of days now,

1450
01:25:27,957 --> 01:25:30,543
and I've gotten the chance
to know both families

1451
01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:33,004
and talk to a lot of people
about Tom here,

1452
01:25:33,087 --> 01:25:37,591
and I've heard what a charming,
kind, smart fella he is.

1453
01:25:37,675 --> 01:25:39,760
And, uh, I'm the luckiest guy
in the world,

1454
01:25:39,844 --> 01:25:43,014
because he's gonna take care
of my baby sister, which is great.

1455
01:25:43,097 --> 01:25:45,474
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you.

1456
01:25:47,601 --> 01:25:50,563
- Great job, Tommy. I'm proud of you.
- Well, we did it, didn't we folks?

1457
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:52,064
Huh?

1458
01:25:52,148 --> 01:25:53,524
[man] Yeah.

1459
01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:57,361
I don't think that any of us
thought that we would end up here.

1460
01:25:57,445 --> 01:26:00,740
- [laughing]
- Two great, very different families.

1461
01:26:00,823 --> 01:26:03,200
Laura Jane, I am honored
to call you my daughter.

1462
01:26:03,284 --> 01:26:06,704
Um, if I... If I could just take
one more second

1463
01:26:06,787 --> 01:26:08,873
to say something
to my beautiful wife, Sherry.

1464
01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:12,293
For so many years I have been
obsessed with my work.

1465
01:26:12,376 --> 01:26:17,340
But I've realized that... the only
thing that matters is you.

1466
01:26:17,423 --> 01:26:20,217
[applause]

1467
01:26:20,301 --> 01:26:22,470
But the one thing I hope these kids learn

1468
01:26:22,553 --> 01:26:28,184
is that it doesn't matter
where you are or when it is.

1469
01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:33,189
But if you have the person you love

1470
01:26:33,272 --> 01:26:36,359
standing next to you by your side...
[chuckles]

1471
01:26:36,442 --> 01:26:39,236
you're in the right place
at the right time.

1472
01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:45,242
And if you have that,

1473
01:26:45,326 --> 01:26:49,747
you will have something that will see you
through a whole host of hard times,

1474
01:26:49,830 --> 01:26:52,291
which include, but are not limited to,

1475
01:26:52,375 --> 01:26:55,586
the occasional dalliance,
premature ejaculation,

1476
01:26:55,669 --> 01:26:58,756
no ejaculation, hemorrhoids,

1477
01:26:58,839 --> 01:27:01,467
that thing they do
where they grind their teeth,

1478
01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:06,055
insomnia, loose teeth,
failing vision, halitosis.

1479
01:27:06,138 --> 01:27:07,640
Menopause.

1480
01:27:07,723 --> 01:27:09,308
[applause]

1481
01:27:09,392 --> 01:27:11,519
I can't wait to spend
the rest of my life with you.

1482
01:27:11,602 --> 01:27:13,437
- [applause]
- [glass clinking]

1483
01:27:14,522 --> 01:27:17,817
Give it, boy.
Give it. Go.

1484
01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:20,903
[pop music playing]

1485
01:28:04,488 --> 01:28:06,490
[reggae music playing]

1486
01:28:18,836 --> 01:28:20,504
[dolphin chittering]

1487
01:28:25,968 --> 01:28:27,887
There's a...

1488
01:28:27,970 --> 01:28:29,805
There's a... you got a dolphin...

1489
01:28:31,348 --> 01:28:34,059
Hey! Hey!
Look! Look to your left!

1490
01:28:34,143 --> 01:28:37,396
To your left! No, I'm not
waving to you. No!

1491
01:28:51,952 --> 01:28:55,080
[grunts]

1492
01:28:55,164 --> 01:28:56,165
[dolphin chittering]

1493
01:29:05,799 --> 01:29:06,842
[dolphin] Retreat.

1494
01:29:09,303 --> 01:29:11,263
We'll be back.

1495
01:29:19,647 --> 01:29:21,273
[grunts]

1496
01:29:25,027 --> 01:29:26,195
I'm great.

1497
01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:28,864
You saved my life.

1498
01:29:28,948 --> 01:29:32,159
If you can believe it,
I'm terrified of the water.

1499
01:29:32,243 --> 01:29:33,953
At least I used to be.

1500
01:29:34,036 --> 01:29:36,205
You're my hero.

1501
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:37,831
I'm not a hero.

1502
01:29:37,915 --> 01:29:39,833
I'm just Lance.

1503
01:29:39,917 --> 01:29:42,753
Lance, kiss me, you fool.

1504
01:29:42,836 --> 01:29:45,464
[upbeat music playing]

1505
01:29:45,548 --> 01:29:47,550
[birds chattering]
Tits, tits, tits...

1506
01:29:47,633 --> 01:29:52,513
tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits...

1507
01:29:52,596 --> 01:30:00,563
SWEET... tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits, tits,

1508
01:30:00,646 --> 01:30:02,606
<i>♪</i>

1509
01:31:11,216 --> 01:31:12,635
[laughing]

1510
01:31:12,718 --> 01:31:15,679
The director is losing it
in the background.

1511
01:31:31,528 --> 01:31:33,113
[laughing]

1512
01:31:39,828 --> 01:31:41,705
<i>[Lance] Just because
you don't know where you are,</i>

1513
01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:43,624
<i>doesn't mean you're lost, Lance.</i>

1514
01:31:43,707 --> 01:31:45,334
<i>It sounds like something Poppy would say.</i>

1515
01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:47,461
<i>I guess it all worked out for the best.</i>

1516
01:31:47,544 --> 01:31:50,381
<i>That being said, where the hell am I?</i>

1517
01:31:53,217 --> 01:31:55,052
We are about to have our sixth kid.

1518
01:31:55,135 --> 01:31:58,013
And Mr. Manfred, sir,
we're gonna name that kid after you,

1519
01:31:58,097 --> 01:32:00,182
and I don't care
if it's a boy or a girl.

1520
01:32:13,278 --> 01:32:14,279
Take me.

1521
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:34,174
But you see, that's an area I actually
don't have a complaint about.

1522
01:32:34,258 --> 01:32:39,638
Papa, although he looks
large and heavy...

1523
01:32:40,806 --> 01:32:43,267
- <i>is</i> large and heavy.
- [coughing]

1524
01:32:43,350 --> 01:32:45,352
[ukulele playing]

1525
01:32:49,481 --> 01:32:51,525
<i>[Ricky] I'd like to dedicate a song</i>

1526
01:32:51,608 --> 01:32:54,153
<i>to all the girls that slept with Ricky.</i>

1527
01:32:55,779 --> 01:32:58,365
Uh, uh, uh...

1528
01:32:58,449 --> 01:32:59,533
Come back.

1529
01:32:59,616 --> 01:33:01,118
[Ricky] Yup.

1530
01:33:01,201 --> 01:33:02,786
<i>♪ Ricky's all up in ya ♪</i>

1531
01:33:02,870 --> 01:33:04,329
<i>♪ Ricky is a ninja ♪</i>

1532
01:33:04,413 --> 01:33:05,706
<i>♪ Ricky's all up in ya ♪</i>

1533
01:33:05,789 --> 01:33:07,833
<i>♪ Ricky is a ninja ♪</i>

1534
01:33:07,916 --> 01:33:09,501
<i>♪ Ricky's all up in ya ♪</i>

1535
01:33:09,585 --> 01:33:10,961
<i>♪ And Ricky is a ninja ♪</i>

1536
01:33:11,044 --> 01:33:12,463
<i>♪ All up in Jamaica ♪</i>

1537
01:33:12,546 --> 01:33:13,922
<i>♪ Ricky's all up in ya. ♪</i>