Rise and Shine

[23:05] <@Tangent> It's early morning in Belfast, and the wind and rain are rattling against the windows.A storm's come and gone overnight, leaving behind the weather and a faint chill. The early morning apartment's fairly quiet otherwise- other than the faint gurgling of the pipes and hiss of the boiler.
[23:06] <@Tangent> In the living room, Amelia's half-curled under a pile of threadbare blankets on the sofa. Like most nights, she's sleeping without a pillow- a quirk she's sure she carried over from her past life. Her sleep seems restless though- she tosses and turns, cringing slightly in her sleep and mumbling something to herself as she slips out of an uneasy sleep.
[23:06] <@Tangent> Amelia's blue eyes flicker open as she finally jolts awake, staring wide-eyed into the gloom. She sits up in her cocoon of blankets, uneasily wrapping her arms around herself as she tries to make sense of where she is. She'd been fighting- fighting after failing...after becoming something horrible, after everyone saw just how useless- worthless- she was...The details of the dream- just a dream, it didn't happen- are slipping away even as she sits up and tries to rem
[23:06] <@Tangent> The details of the dream- just a dream, it didn't happen- are slipping away even as she sits up and tries to remember them.
[23:06] <@Tangent>  She sits there, hunched over with just her thoughts for company, despite the cold. She stays that way for a long while.
[23:18] <Jran-Kri> The stillness of the apartment continues unabated for some time. Eventually, however, the muted commotion of the early morning is broken from a sharp noise from the direction of Alexa’s room. It sounds vaguely like a door being forcefully yanked open. The silence closes back around the apartment right after – only through it can the dull ‘click’ of one of the apartment’s old light switches being flicked be distinguished, accompanied by a burst of yellowed light down the hall.
[23:18] <Jran-Kri> Then the actual sound of a door being opened can be heard, though slowly, eliciting a prolonged creaking.
[23:18] <Jran-Kri> Alexa shambles out through the hall a moment later, wearing little more than a loose t-shirt and sweatpants. Her mousy-brown hair is a mess, and a thin film of sweat clings to her forehead. Her blue eyes blink almost sightlessly at Amelia without her glasses before she realizes that the other girl is awake.
[23:18] <Jran-Kri> “O-oh. Um. Hi. Uh. G-good morning,” she mumbles in her clipped accent, her shoulders bunching up as she turns towards the kitchen. “S-sorry. D-didn’t expect to s-see you up this early.”
[23:25] <@Tangent> "...Hey, Alexa..." Amelia's bleary-eyed, but she's looking back intently. Almost frantically. She's similarly clad to Alexa. "I...Just woke up..." She explains, disingenuously, not really wanting to talk about the half-remembered nightmare, but glad to have proof it didn't happen standing there. Alexa's okay. She's fine. "Hey...um...Alexa?" She blurts. "Do you...do you think I'm...useless?" Her voice's gone very quiet.
[23:29] <Jran-Kri> Alexa stops short halfway through her first step, double-taking at Amelia with a blank look of shock on her face. She looks quite put on the spot, shuffling in place uncomfortably. Then she steps over to the couch, shaking her head.
[23:30] <Jran-Kri> "O-of course not," she says, trying to smile. It looks a little tense. She reaches over to Amelia. "Wh-what's this about?"
[23:38] <@Tangent> Amelia reaches back- fingers brushing Alexa's. It comes over as worried. As though she needs reassurance that Alexa's there. "I...It's just...I keep screwing up. I...You get hurt and...I...I'm just not good enough, and..." She trails off, not meeting Alexa's eyes. Hunched over, she looks even smaller than she is. "I...I had a nightmare." She confesses, shame-faced. "We...we were in the overcity, and there were other magical girls, and a monster...and it went badly."
[23:39] <@Tangent> "I screwed up and you got hurt, and then..." She shakes her head. "Sorry."
[23:43] <Jran-Kri> "A-ah," Alexa says. Her fingers reflexively close over Amelia's. As pale as she is, she manages to whiten another shade. Her hand shakes, her grip on Amelia trembling. "Th-that's... that's strange. I... I h-had a d-dream a-a lot like that. B-but..."
[23:44] <Jran-Kri> She trails off, stepping around the armrest and slowly easing herself onto the edge of the couch. "B-but you got hurt. It-it was... There was a... a monster a-and i-it d-did something to you and I couldn't protect you and--" She cuts herself off, shaking her head as well.
[23:49] <@Tangent> Amelia listens, chewing her lip uncertainly. "H-hey, it...it was just a dream." She's quick to reassure her. "I...I'm here...besides, it's my job to keep you safe, okay? It doesn't matter if I can do that." She tries to smile reassuringly at Alexa.
[23:51] <Jran-Kri> "A-Amelia..." Alexa sighs softly, shaking her head. "I-- You don't... We're supposed to keep each other safe. Th-that's what it means to be partners, right?"
[23:55] <@Tangent> "But..you have been..." Amelia shakes her head. "I keep needing you to save me...I keep screwing up...it's my fault that you were in danger from that coin and I didn't even /notice/..." Amelia's grip tightens and the words come out in a rush. She's blinking rapidly, voice thick. "I...What good am I if I can't even keep you from getting hurt? Let alone anyone else?"
[00:01] <Jran-Kri> A grimace flashes across Alexa's face at the mention of the coin, but she dismisses it with another brisk shake of the head. She throws her arms around Amelia in a hug. "Y-you can't... You can't keep me s-safe forever. B-but you... you do th-the best you can, a-and that's... that's enough. J-just... trust me. W-we can t-take care o-of each other."
[23:00] <@Tangent> Amelia flinches at Alexa's first words, but slumps into her hug. "I...You shouldn't have to...You're a kid...you didn't really sign up for this..." She mutters, posture tense even with Alexa's hug. Never mind that she doesn't look much older than Alexa herself. A slightly bitter twist of her mouth as she remembers what little of her own choice- her self- she can. She'd chosen to give up her life for this. What- who- had she thrown away by doing that?
[23:06] <Jran-Kri> Alexa frowns nervously, the expression barely visible in the darkness. Her shoulders bunch up together defensively as she bristles. "I-I'm not just a kid," she insists quietly, shaking her head. "A-and I-I did s-sign up! I-I... I don't... It's all a bit fuzzy..." She loses some of her defensiveness as she trails off into uncertainty. "B-but I-I know I wanted t-to help people."
[23:07] == No such nick/channel: irc.cccp-project.net
[23:07] == End of WHOIS
[23:11] <@Tangent> "I know, but..." Amelia trails off. "Sorry. I'm being stupid again." She looks up, eyes meeting Alexa's. "Hey. You okay?" She asks.
[23:13] <Jran-Kri> Alexa shakes her head. Then she realizes how that looks a moment later and nods vigorously. "O-of corse I'm fine. D-don't change the s-subject! Y-you're not s-stupid!"
[23:19] <@Tangent> "I...I..." Amelia swallows. "Sometimes, I'm...I'm not sure if I made a mistake...If I'm just..." Her hair's falling into her eyes as she looks away. "Never mind...Sorry..."
[23:20] <Jran-Kri> "N-no, no," Alexa shakes her head again, leaning closer. "I-it's okay, you can t-talk to me. E-everybody m-makes mistakes."
[23:25] <@Tangent> Amelia looks up. She looks very small and lost at that moment, blue eyes blinking rapidly. "I...I wanted to m-matter...to BE someone that mattered...I'm not really that...that g-good...at all...selfish...useless..." Alexa's right there. "And...and I...I didn't even think to ask what it meant...And now if I...if I get you hurt because I'm a s-screw up..."
[23:25] <@Tangent> She chokes back a sob, eyes stinging with unbidden tears. She tries to blink them back.
[23:27] <@Tangent> She's glad it's so dark.
[23:29] <Jran-Kri> Alexa hesitates, unsure how to react. Whatever she was expecting, it wasn't this. For a moment she looks away, biting her lip. Then she wraps her arms around Amelia, holding her close. "H-hey, i-it's okay. I-I'm right here. I'm fine. It'll be fine," she assures her, the platitudes sounding hollow to herself. "It's okay. I trust you."
[23:39] <@Tangent> "B-but..." Amelia stammers. Her heartbeat's a constant rapid-fire staccato as she freezes...then returns the hug with almost desperate force. Something drips onto Alexa's shoulder. Amelia sniffles, letting go and pulling away. "S-sorry..." A thick, shaky breath. "I...sorry...I...I didn't mean to..." Her voice still sounds shaky, hesitant.
[23:40] <Jran-Kri> "N-no, no," Alexa shakes her head emphatically, half-following Amelia as she pulls away. She refuses to relinquish her grip. "Th-that's what friends are f-for, right?"
[23:49] <@Tangent> Amelia goes still. Finally, she replies, voice still unsteady. "Y-Yeah...Thanks...Thanks, Alexa." Her shaky, hesitant smile's all but invisible in the gloom, but it's in her voice as she replies. A brief, shaky laugh. "I...I don't deserve a friend like you..." She tries to play it off as a joke, but it doesn't quite come out that way.
[23:49] <@Tangent> "You...you're a good ki...a good person. A good friend." She calms down, just the occasional sniffle and the slight thickness to her voice betraying her earlier outburst.
[23:53] <Jran-Kri> Alexa, invisibly, smiles softly. She rubs Amelia's arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Once again, she shakes her head. "I-I know you'd do the same for me. More," she corrects abruptly, with a faint wheeze of laughter. "D-don't be like that. Y-you're... There's no need t-to, y'know. Carry the world on your shoulders."
[00:14] <@Tangent> "S-sorry..." Amelia repeats again. "It's just..I have to try...If I don't do what I can, then..." She shakes her head. She still remembers what Kreimhild'd told her, and the dream's still fresh in her mind. She swallows, pushing that thought aside.When she speaks she's smiling, a bit shakily as she looks up again. Even if she can't really see Alexa, she knows she's there, one hand touching hers. She's okay.
[00:14] <@Tangent> "Y-yeah...you're right. What...what was it you said? Keep each other safe? T-that...that sounds pretty good to me."
[00:16] <Jran-Kri> "Right. Right. Of course I'm right," she laughs lightly, smiling at Amelia. "A-as long as we have each other, there's nothing that we can't do."
[00:23] <@Tangent> "Yeah." Amelia smiles back in the dark. And then she's hugging Alexa again before letting go. "I...It'll all work out..." And if she says it out loud, she can believe it.
[00:25] <Jran-Kri> "Of course," Alexa nods again. She gives Amelia a tight, reassuring squeeze before she breaks it off. "Y-yes. You'll see. There's no need to worry."
[00:30] <@Tangent> Amelia nods, sitting there by Alexa in the dimly lit early morning. "We...we should probably...probably get back to sleep, huh?" She comments at last with a slight yawn. "Wh...what time is it anyway?"
[00:32] <Jran-Kri> "I, um... I don't know," Alexa admits with a sheepish duck of the head. "B-but, um... yes. I-I was just up to, ah... get a glass of water. Ha. D-didn't expect you to be up."
[00:37] <@Tangent> "Ah. Sorry...Didn't expect to be up, but...Yeah..." She sits up on the sofa, the last of the blankets slipping from her. "I...I guess I should clean up..." Her eyes are still reddened, stinging slightly. She stands up, blinking in the light from the hallway as she looks to Alexa.
[00:39] <Jran-Kri> "Well, neither did I," Alexa snickers, smiling crookedly. She rises, too, glancing down at the bed and waving a dismissive hand. "Easily fixed. Whatever's comfortable."
[00:56] <@Tangent> "...Yeah." Amelia hesitates. "...See you tomorrow, Alexa."
[00:56] <@Tangent> [00:56] <Jran-Kri> "Ah. Yes. Um. Right. See you," Alexa gamely waggles a hand, loping off.