Understanding DJ Sylveon.

Hey everyone! Its DJ Sylveon and Zorua here. I was going to make a vlog about what I’m about to say but I felt that a vlog wouldn’t help. I’m doing a real talk here and I have tried to do real talks on my streams and they never seem to come out right so the next best thing is to put it in to words…literally. So yea rant, tangent, and other usual real talk warnings here.

Ok so first things first I need to tell each and every one of you and that is stuff outside my life on the internet. I am an engineering student and I am rapping up things with my Associates in Arts degree which means things are going to get busy and tough. Right now things aren’t busy simply because I have made it so. Why though I’ll explain later. Toughness right now isn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Physics is nothing but a joke class to me seeing how I have taken it in high school and all this class does is change my view point on physics from a trigonometric to a calculus standpoint. My professor for Physics is one of the best if not the best professor I’ve had so far. She just doesn’t test you on the material but also makes sure you fully understand it though in class problems and homework. She also is very supportive and very honest about things. I have her for both my lecture and lab and she is the same way in the lab. My Calculus 2 class is where the tough stuff is right now. This isn’t just your typical Calculus, this is designed for engineering and math majors which means it goes in depth and expands on many of the concepts of integration and differentiation. They also like to tag on With Analytic Geometry but that doesn’t come around till next semester. Of course I’d like to remind myself while taking this class that it could be much worse. Over the summer, to keep myself on pace for graduation, I took Calculus 1. Summer classes are more than not used for getting those easy “joke” classes out of the way. (When I say it’s a joke class I’m referring to a class that is no more than common sense and is only there because of college rules and state laws.) Summer classes can last from 8 weeks to 10 weeks. Well to be nice to myself I took the 10 week class. Even with 3 classes a week and each class being 2 hours and 45 minutes I would still have a test every 2 weeks. Trust me when I say learning a new style of math within that time period really tests you and your sanity. I made it and passed with a C+ which means I could easily get a B or even an A this semester. The next semester however I am not looking forward to. It will consist of Calculus 3, Differential Equations, Physics 2 and Physics 2 with lab. I’d be lucky if I had anytime do streaming at that point but time will tell and we’ll see how things go along with that.

Of course in my life if one thing isn’t holding me up another is and that other is my job or rather lack thereof. As some of you may know, I used to work for that Florida Department of Transportation as an Electronic Data Management Secretary. This job was a simple one, manage files both physical and electronic. I worked 30 hours and got payed $10.01 an hour for it. Sounds great right? Well it sure was. So why don’t I have that job anymore? Well ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to something called grade A bullshit politics. I’m going to be honest and say that I wasn’t the only in my family working with FDOT. My father who sits pretty high in county operations worked there too. His official title is Permits Administrator and Management. Basically he was the guy who ran the part branch of the county DOT that deals with anything anyone wants to do on a state owned road or highway. You want to do anything within the state right of way you have to file a permit with details on what you want to do and it would land on his desk first. He is also in charge of various parts of the yard in which the main office is on and various state owned structures like the Sunshine Skyway Bridge which I have had the honor of touring (very few people are even allowed such and opportunity). Yes there are anti-nepotism policies in place but I did not fall under them because while he does work there and I did work within his branch I did not directly report to him nor did he have a say in my hiring. A person below him hired me on which is perfectly within his rights. Not only that but a meeting was held on if I should be hired and my father was out on medical leave due to a major back injury and couldn’t attend (he’s fine now but he has to get surgery done soon) nor did he force the person who hired me to do it all he did was suggest me to him. All perfectly fine under the policies that were in place. Well someone found out about my father and I being related as such and was rather upset despite not having any influence from both of us being there. I would also like to add that this person was at the same level of authority that I was. So to things bluntly they bitched, moaned, and whined until no one could take it anymore. This went so far up that the State Secretary of Transportation had the final say in this. Everyone below him said that there was nothing wrong and don’t see a way to “fix” the situation. When it got to him the story was bent and twisted greatly and he ended up deciding that I was not allowed to work there anymore and that everyone who was even remotely in charge of me was to be punished. Thankfully it wasn’t too severe for them but for me it was like a kick in the nuts with a steal toe boot with rusty super glued nails on it. I am now put into a situation where I am searching desperately for a job because I have a car loan, insurance, gas, and various school expenses to pay for. My loan costs about $212 a month and I still have 4 years to go on it. Insurance costs me $260 a month, gas right now costs me $40 a month, and college expenses cost can vary greatly. I have looked all over ten buck two and so far no one is hiring me. I honestly feel very defeated about this and what I have to say next doesn’t help at all.

I still live with my parents. It’s an agreement we have that I could live with them until I got my AA. Well that also means I’m still living with my sister and my brother. My sister has a baby that is a little more than a month old and the father stays here with in my sister’s room. If you have had to deal with a baby or even sleep in the same place as one you know what it’s like. It can be happy, stressful, or very tiring. My brother who does not understand the meaning of quiet and stop, sleeps in the same room as me and gets really really annoying with making random stupid sounding noise and shouting every time he plays a game. So you have 7 people living in a house that was meant for 4-5. To say that I really want to leave is an understatement. I wish I could pack up my stuff right now move to an apartment and live there but again I don’t have the money to do so nor do I have the means. I know I may seem like a happy, funny, and all around cool guy to be with but I’m actually hiding how I really am. I’m stressed, defeated, and all around feel like I am in hell. Of course what do I expect from living in Florida. No one knows how to drive, no one knows how to think straight half the time, and tourist just tend to make things worse. I like living here don’t get me wrong I just wish that the people that are here in this state just, for a lack of better words, weren’t here. The only things that I have that keeps me from diving into a deep dark depression are my very supportive family, my friends both in real life and online, and my girlfriend even if she does live far away. I know what depression is like, I’ve been there. There is nothing there but darkness and self-demotivation. I have never told anyone this but I will say this now, at one point my depression was so bad I had suicidal thoughts. I never attempted but it was there and you know what made me go that far? It was bullies. Elementary school, middle school, high school I was bullied and the higher up in grade level I went the worse it got. They would make fun of me, my personality, my intelligence, even my work. It even at times got physical and I saw my grades just drop. It only ended when a bully decided to destroy a project I was making for my engineering class. So in return I destroyed something of his and put him down on his ass. Was it the right thing to do? No, what it did do was it showed them that I wasn’t will to let them mess with me and that I was going to protect not only myself but others that they bullied.

Anyways what I’m doing now in my life is I’m trying to give myself more time in my life to think about it and what I am doing. You know how I said earlier that I was giving myself more time by changing my class times? Well this is why. I’m at a critical point in my life. I need a job, I need my degree, I need to collect myself and continue paving the road that I have been in life. I’ve already started by adapting a healthier lifestyle. I use to have a bad habit of not keeping my surroundings as clean as it should be. It would often take someone else pushing me to vacuum my room or to clean off my desk that’s if I haven’t been bothered by it and when it bothers me it’s usually because I can’t do anything with it. I’ve been eating healthy and keeping myself physically fit it’s just I let that all important cleanliness take the backseat before. I am also rethinking my educational path. Before I wanted to just be an Aerospace Engineer but new things have come to light and now I’m looking into my options for that. I still want to be an Aerospace Engineer but I’m looking beyond my college career like I should have been.

As all of you may have heard I am planning on going to Awesome games Done Quick 2016 (AGDQ 2016).  After hearing all of this you may be wondering why I am going at all. Well I was the same way. I was questioning if I could do it and once my family heard about it and what AGDQ is all about they are in full support and are willing to help get me there. I am looking forward to this and am doing this for then just to meet streamers and those who I’m twitch buddies with. I’m doing this as a way to relax, to feel independent for once, and to actually enjoy myself. I’m looking forward to seeing people like RaysFire, HypotheticalTiger, Snarfybobo those kind of people. I’ve said that I would do vlogs while there and upload them to Youtube. Of course because of great generosity, I am also doing them while wearing Sylveon Ears. This will also allow me to prepare myself for the last semester before I graduate.

I know this has been very long and so I just have one last thing to talk about. I have been living my life by to quotes I’ve told myself. “There is no such thing as perfection because once you achieve perfection you will either be out done by someone or you will be asked to be even more perfect than perfect.” and “You will never make everyone happy”. For the longest I have been looking at these wrong. I saw the first quote as you should never try for something great and you should just be yourself. It’s for from what it means really means. It really means that you should strive for greatness because there are no limits so long as you keep working at it. The second one I saw the second one as if you can never succeed where you failed then it was never meant to be. That is not true as well. It means that while you alone cannot get what everyone wants, you sure can inspire and help others in doing so. It’s the whole reason why I love Sylveon. It’s not the moves, it’s not the type advantages, and it’s not the appearance. I love Sylveon because it’s the ideal me. Sylveon always looks at the bright side of things and wants to protect that it holds near and dear to them. They want to see a smile on all those who they meet and want to have fun doing it. So why is Zorua in my name? Well the thing is that part of my name changes often. When I made my twitch account its was Zorua at the end because Zorua’s are cute but mischievous if they had nothing to do. That was me at the time. Now Zorua is mostly replaced with Amaterasu. Amaterasu is misunderstood at first but when people witness her and believe in her they understand what she really is. The DJ part is just there to be there. I do DJ from time to time but not often. Anyways I think I gone on long enough, I’m typing this up in Word and I’m on the fourth page and it has already taken me 2 hours to write this. Thanks for reading this and I’m sorry if I was being a bit too feely there but I really needed to get this out. Keep on jamming and being awesome!