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- >Day rage in Equestria.
- >You wake up to the sound of breaking glass somewhere in your house.
- >Run downstairs freaking out.
- >Cherry Berry is in your kitchen with her flight goggles on, smashing all of your shit.
- "Cherry! What the FUCK are you doing?!"
- >She picks up your table and flips it.
- >"I'M ANGRY!"
- >You run over and tear the cookie jar from her hooves.
- "HOLD ON! QUIT BREAKING MY SHIT!"
- >She sits down with a sigh and glares at you.
- "Why are you angry? Why are you in my house? Why me?"
- >She flares her nostrils, "these three ponies just stole my air balloon saying they were seizing it for Boner Police activities! Now. I'm. ANGRY!"
- >Your best china is flung at the wall.
- "Calm down! Do you want me to help you?"
- >She seethes, "take me out to lunch!"
- "What? Don't you want to get your balloon back?"
- >Cherry stomps her hooves and whines, "I'M HUNGRY AND I'M AAAAAAANGRYYYYYYYY!"
- >Fuck this shit.
- "Fine! Fine! We can go out for lunch. Do you want to go to Sugar Cube Corner?"
- >She sits back down and puffs her cheeks, "no. Pinkie Pie is a bitch."
- >She's definitely not.
- "Alright Cherry, then where do you WANT to go?"
- >She screams and kicks the shit out of your stove.
- >It explodes, sending you both flying out of a window.
- >Cherry Berry lands on your chest.
- >"I'm so ANGRY! I'm HUNGRY! Anon, your house sucks!"
- >Your house is gone.
- >She blew it up.
- >You pick her up, set her down and walk toward town.
- >"Anon where are you going?!"
- >You flip her off over your shoulder.
- "Please just go Cherry Berry."
- +++BONER POLICE+++
- >Chillin' in your pad.
- >Blinds closed, candles lit.
- >You're masturbating to a picture of Trixie's ass.
- >Feels good brah.
- >There's a strange sound outside.
- >Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
- >A car smashes through your wall.
- "FUUUUUCK!"
- >It's an actual police car with a dick spray painted on the hood and dick-shaped sirens.
- >Rainbow Dash leans out of the passenger window, "BONER PATROL, BONER PATROL! BWEEW WEEW! BONER PATROL, BONER PATROL! BWEEW WEEW!"
- >Lyra hops out of the driver seat and points her gun at you, "get on the ground with your dick out scumbag!"
- >You throw some dry wall off of you and jump up.
- "I just got my house fixed after Cherry Berry blew it up you faggots! Where did you get a fucking car?!"
- >Fluttershy pops out of the sunroof and points a massive gun at you.
- >"S-suspect sighted. F-fire!"
- >A net shoots out and captures you.
- >The three ponies tie you to the back of the car and speed out of your house.
- >You are dragged all over Ponyville for an hour.
- >Rainbow Dash hangs out of the window laughing, "BONER PATROL, BONER PATROL! BWEEW WEEW!"
- >They take you back to Boner Chief Fluttershy's cottage, battered and bloody.
- >You are charged with failure to boner and sentenced to be raped overnight.
- >This is what Ponyville's taxes pay for.
- +++BONER PATROL+++
- >Day hate crime in Celestia's white nation.
- >You are strolling down the street minding your own business.
- >Golden Harvest stops you at her vegetable stand and gives you some free potatoes.
- >Being of great Irish upbringing, you raise the roof and thank her kindly.
- >Today is gonna be a good day.
- >Something wet and heavy slaps across the back of your neck.
- >You fall and roll.
- >Behind you stands Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Lyra, in uniform.
- >They all are holding big limp-
- "Are those dildos?!"
- >Fluttershy swings her big floppy red dick around, "th-they're our new batons, the Dragon Slayer Deluxe."
- >Wait a minute...
- "Why are they all slimey? Are those ACTUAL dragon dicks?"
- >Rainbow Dash strokes her fake mustache, "had to order them from a special dealer in the Fillypeans."
- >Lyra raises her purple dragon shlong above her head, "enough talk! Let's dick this handsome thief down!"
- >The three surround you and begin wailing on you with their dicks.
- "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?"
- >Rainbow Dash is trying to stick her baton in your mouth.
- >"We saw you steal those potatoes sexy man!"
- >Fluttershy is trying to jam her baton through your pants, "n-no injustice escapes the B-Boner Police!"
- >You're blacking out from Lyra beating in your head with a dragon dick.
- "I'M NOT RODNEY KING! I'M NOT RODNEY KING!"
- >Ponies all stare, none brave enough to help.
- >Rainbow Dash gets on her radio, "we need backup in the market! Suspect resisting dicks!"
- >Golden Harvest runs over with a spiked dragon dick.
- >She starts to slap your legs with it.
- "What are you doing?! You gave me the potatoes!"
- >They drag your pants down and hold you while Golden Harvest positions the spiked horror for penetration.
- >"This was a sting operapetion motherbucker!"
- >Today sucked.
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