Thread 102: Stories 46-60

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Rainbow Dash"
'Rarity'
[AJ]
{Fluttershy}
+Twilight+
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!!

"Sup' Pinkie."

>Are you doing anything for the anniversary?

"...what anniversary?"

>You know, the thing!

"That's not really specific, Pinkie."

>The thing with the show. The My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic anniversary!

"Wha? I don't-"

>I used to wonder what friendship wonder what friendship could be. Until you all shared it's magic with me.

"...big adventures"

>Tons of fun!

Others show up.
'A beautiful heart'

[Faithful and strong]

{Sharing kindness}

+It's an easy feat+

>"'[{+And magic makes it all complete. You have my little ponies.+}]'"

>Did you know you're all my very best frieeends~ That's our show! G'night everypony!
>Of course I was also making friends before Twilight thought it was cool, but why ruin the moment?
RD wakes up.

"...I don't know what happened...but I liked it."

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OOCO
>Twilight
"AJ"
'Dash'
[Rarity]
{FS}
(Pinkie)
~~~~~

>Alright, this special meeting is now come to order!

"...Meetin', really?"

>It's one of the few ways you all come when I call you anymore.

'Pffft, it is nooot.'

>...

[...We have been rather busy.]

{Um... and we all kind of have big things going on... some more dangerous than others.}

(My entertainment empire will soon take off! Just you watch! PartyPony productions is going to be HUGE!)

"Didn't it used to be-"

(We're still working on the name.)

>We who?

(Just.... the collective we?)

>...Moving on, so, now that we're all here, I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, have a decree. Princess Applejack, will you read the first line?

"May it hereby be known, from the words o' Twilight-"

>Captain Dash, you next?

'-That this day as it is-'

>Princess Rarity.

[Shall be used for one thing-]

>Princess Fluttershy?

{...I'm not a-}

>Please?

{Oh... um, for one thing and one thing only-}

>Annnnd, to the one and only Pinkie Pie.

(This day is meant for PARRRTTIIEEEEESSSSS!)

>"'{[(WOOOOOOOOOO!)]}'"

~CEEELA-BRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!~

>We haven't hung out really in forever! Let freaking cut loose!

(Now she's speaking my language!)

'SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!'

[Should we have invited Spike?]

>Rarity, I love the little guy, you know I do, but right now we're on full on mare-party mode, no boys allowed.

[...Fair enough. WOOOO!]

{Um... yay.}

>SING IT WITH ME!

>"'[{(DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALL MY VERY BEST FRIIIIIIENDS!)}]'"

(TITLE DROP!)

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>Twilight
"AJ"
~~~

>So, how's everything been going with the trip?

"Not the worst, Ah' guess?"

>Great to hear! Since you're heading down to Ponyville, I'm guessing you'll be hopping over to see your family at some point?

"Ya' know it!"

>Great! Awww... I still remember when we first met, my very first Apple Family Reunion. That was fun.

"..."

>...In hindsight. At the time? Uh... problem.

"Heh."

>So, is Applebloom helping around the farm?

"Hm? Ah, nah! She's been mostly up here where Ah' can keep her outta trouble.'

>Oh? I haven't seen her in a while.

"Ahhhh, she's around here somewhere. Probably out gettin' her cutie mark, again."

>Oh... yeah, I suppose I haven't seen Sweetie Belle or Scootlaoo either, they're just around.

"O'course they are. Ah'll make sure ta' send a guard ta' fetch'um when we head down Ponyville ways."

>...

"What?"

>Just thinking about how crazy things have gotten since you were just some mare trying to introduce me to your whole family, Princess Applejack.

"Heh. Well, that's what happens when time goes on, things get crazy."

>Yeah, they really do...

"...They're gonna get crazier, ain't they?"

>Let me check with the giant shapeshifting monster, cackling bug queen or being of unspeakable fire and power... yep... they're saying yes.

"...Wouldn't miss it for the world."

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>AB
"SL"
~~~

>Ah' think we might'a made the wrong choice.

"I stick by it! Better in this situation than over there on some guy's cushion and eating candy, and who knows what else!"

>...what else?

"Hm?"

>Like, what're ya' talkin' about, what else do ya' mean?

"They're always kinda vague about that, but I'm thinking like... making you do chores for him."

>Really?

"Well, don't the fillies and colts in the paper always look really tired and ruffed up and sad after something like this?"

>...huh... Ah' never thought about it that way, but... huh.

"Yeah, thinking it through now."

>...And it does look like they gotta whippin' for not bein' so quick, they always got marks on their flanks in the papers.

"Right!?'

>...Ya' know what, yer' right! Ah' don't wanna do his chores! This is way better!

"WAY better!"

>Ain't that right, mister timber wolf!

"This this bond of understanding will convince him to let us out of the tree?"

*GRRRRRR!*

>...Think that was a no growl-

"Sounded like a no, yeah."

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 >Rarity
"Dash"
~~~

>I'm starting to think you don't even understand how stitching works.

"...I'm starting to wonder if we've ever met."

>I'm serious, Dash! You're being so rough with these uniforms and then just expecting me to fix them instantly!

"...military, these are MILITARY uniforms."

>Oh yes, how silly of me to forget with all your MANY and VARIED successful military operations!

"...low blow..."

>I'm serious, Dash! You need to take better care of them, or at least give me more time to finish stitching one set before moving on to the other.

"Orrr, we can just go buy MORE!"

>Wait, wha-

"This is brilliant! LD! Get the WB's together, TGIF because we're about to get all up in Charity! We're putting on a show ASAP! So get ready to BTFO-"

SLAP!

"..."

>...stop it.

"..."

>...Stop.

"...I'm, uh... I'm gonna go now."

>You do that.

"...Sorry."

>...you should be.

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>Pinkie
"Maud"
'FS'
~~~

>I'm just saying, it seems like he doesn't know you're here.

"I have spoken with others, they assure me this is not the case."

>Well, if you say so...

"Tell her, Fluttershy, you have seen me often."

'...Well, I mean, I looked at you, but I don't remember us talking.'

"This is normal for me."

>That is, yeah.

"...has father mentioned me?"

>That's the funny thing, nope!

"..."

'...Um, are you okay?'

"Of course, I asked because it seemed prudent to ask."

>Maudy, are you and daddy fighting?

"We do not fight."

>Oh, okay!

'...really?'

>Really what?

'...nevermind.'

>Wha?

"Nevermind means not to ask anymore."

>No I know, what I mean is...

"..."

'...'

>...Nevermind.

"Good work."

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 >Twilight
"Pinkie"
'AJ'
[Dash]
{FS}
(Rarity)
~~~

>Pinkie, you absolutely cannot.

"TRY AND STOP ME!"

'Ya' can't make cake fer' breakfast.'

"Oh yeah? Well, then you tell me how every morning you make panCAKES."

[Those aren't the same thing!]

{...Wait, aren't they? Isn't pancakes just... cakes?}

(No no no, they're totally different. Really would you put syrup on a wedding cake?)

{I don't know, I've never tried it. What does wedding cake without frosting and syrup taste like?}

(...hm.)

>Trying to not get drawn into that, are you trying to give us all diabetes?

"Twilight, diabetes isn't real."

>What? Of course it is!

"No, it's not."

>It is!

"Then explain why I don't have it!"

>...

'She's got'ya there.'

>No she does not, I have hundreds of years of scientific discovery on my side!

"And I've got my big pink booty! What now!?"

[Can you not shake that in my face?]

"I can, but why would I want to?"

>Just... make something not nintey percent sugar, please?

"Well, I also have grapefruits-"

'ABOMINATION UNTO OUR WORLD!'

>...

'Ah'm standin' by it, it ain't natural! GRAPES AIN'T FRUIT, THEY'RE BERRIES! BERRIES AH' SAY!'

{Um, Applejack? They're just-}

"Sshhhhhh shhh shhh shhh... let her have this."

(... Why don't we eat breakfast like this more often together? This is nice.)

"ALRIGHT! Super double mega frosting stuffed cherry-berries on a sweetened grove with powder sugar topping and a twist is served!"

(Oh, right, the coronary embolism.)

'...Ah'm gonna eat it all.'

>"[{(...)]}"

'What!?'

>Well thats one mystery solved...

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>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~

>Hey, Applejack? Gotta question.

"...this don't feel so good on this side."

>It's just, something I've always wondered... you're like, the biggest seller in Ponyville, right?

"Ohhh, Ah'm not likin' this."

>Like, the BIGGEST seller, you have the main crop right next to the town. Selling stuff should be easy.

"Ah'm really hatin' this."

>And you also sell the two most sought after annual foods, the cider and zap apple jam, while also having a family there since the founding of Ponyville.

"Gonna hurt."

>And despite the fact that nobody else seems to be on hard times, or be financially unstable, YOU on the other hoof, constantly are, to the point where if the cider, an annual sales in limited supply, didn't sell, then you'd lose the farm right? Nobody else, NOBODY, has this problem, and I throw parties so often that we freaking ran out of things to party about, but I'm financially fine.

"Please stop. Stop if yer' mah' friend."

>...and she put YOU in charge of our economy?

"..."

>...

"...Is that it?"

>Just in regards to the whole farm, thing, I'm noticing it's probably...

"..."

>It's prrroooobably...

"..."

>..it'sallyourfault-

"AH' WILL END YOU!"

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OOCO
>Shiny
“Jetset”
~~~~

>MY HEART! IT BURRRRNS!

“Sh-shut-up… j-just… shut-up….

>SORRY CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY HEART BLEEDING METAL!

“…my lungs feel punctured.”

>WHY IN THE GREAT BUTTERMILK BISCUIT ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?

Like a rubber ball, Shining Armor’s exasperated yell bounced around the shared room.

He and Jetset, his roommate for the duration of their training, had collapsed on the carpet, nearly klonking heads, chests heaving, legs twitching.

“To one day s-serve her royal fatass, that’s why.”

>Oh, that’s just mean, Jet.

“The truth can be mean, I take back nothing.”

>I can’t believe your trainer made us run five laps around the castle! The ENTIRE castle! FIVE times!

“I t-told you, she may be a decrepit old bitch but she knows her shit….”

>…All for the princess, right?

“M-maybe for you. Princess Alabaster Ass said I h-had three options. I could either humble myself to her, get thrown in a cell, or be sat on.”

>Honestly? That last one doesn’t sound so-

“Shut. Up.”

>Just saying? Just saying. It’s a pretty nice butt.

“It’s too big! I’d be killed if she sat on me!”

>Again, just saying? Not a bad way to go when you think about it.

“And that’s why I finished four seconds ahead of you today, Armor. Keep your mind on the task and off some mare’s gigantic ass.”

>Oh wow! A WHOLE FOUR seconds! Not one, not two, not even three—but four! Jeepers, might as well give up now!

“Like hell I’d even let you. Ms Harshbitch would go twice as hard on me without you around.”

>I like how you only call her that when she can’t hear you. Real brave, Jet.

“I like how you tried bribing her with some fresh hay rolls this morning, even if it didn’t work and she made you do forty extra push-ups. Real brave, Armor.”

>…

“…”

>…I really just want to meet Mi Amore Cadenza again….

“…I really just want a pat on the head.”

>Wait, what?

“Nothing.”

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>AJ
"Celestia'
~~~

>Hey, Tia? Gotta question.

"And I have metal on my hooves. Did you know metal hurts like a bitch when slapped by it? YOUR MOVE!"

>...

"..."

>...As Ah' was sayin', what do the Yak's export to us?

"Headaches."

>Ah'm serious, and on this note ain't they up near the Empire? Why ain't they got trade with them?

"According to Shiny, the only export is the unification of their peoples to, as one, turn off the lights and pretend not to be home."

>...So why do we deal with them?

"Because genocide is still wrong, no matter how goddamn annoying those things are."

>Uh... huh...

"...what?"

>And ya'll complain about our folks.

"Applejack, everyone is stupid in their own ways, they're just more open about it."

>Point. And, like most things, the fact we gotta deal with them is all yer-

SMACK!

"Told you so."

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 >GS
"BM"
~~~

>...Big Mac?

"Eyyyyup."

>Do ya'll remember Applejack goin' on a trip ta' some fancy Bison place

"Eeeenope."

>Oh, just checkin'. Guess she didn't tell ya' bout it neither, but Applebloom's havin' fun on her trip down that way.

"..."

>...Wait, ain't she supposed ta' be watchin' the changelin's?

"..."

>...meh, that's probably where they're headed.

"..."

>What? It ain't like Applejack's just gonna let her go off on her own ta' another country, right?

"...E-eyup?"

>That's what Ah' thought! Now, get yer' hooves back ta' buckin' those trees, and don't y'all be slackin' again!

"...Shouldn't we at least make sure-"

>Ah' don't pay ya' ta' say more than two words!

"Ya' don't pay me at all!"

>So that means Ah' was tellin' the truth.

"..."

>...

"...huh."

>Honest Granny Smith, that's me... back ta' work!

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OOCO
>AJ
“Celly”
____

>Oh ‘Tiiiiiiia… gotta question.

“And I have in my very hoof a delicious, one-of-a-kind, freshly picked honeysweet apple that I am NOT afraid to drop and let hit the dirty, filthy ground.”

>First, not fer’ nothin’ an’ Ah’ applaud the effort in this but… that’s not even close to a ‘freshly picked’ honeysweet apple. The color gradiant’s off by a country mile an-

“Test me!”

>...’Kaaaaay, so anyway, ya’ know how Deadh Hoof is always late to the national meetin’s? Like, all the time an’ by at least two months?

“Because the admirable brute just has to literally trot from the Frozen North to here? Yes, I know, and it gives me a headache every me-damned time.”

>Right. Well, how ‘bout this. Whenever y’all decide on a time fer’ the next meeting’, jus' tell ol’ Dead Hoof that it’s two months ahead’a that time. Get me? Ah’ know these get-togethers take months to get prepped fer’ anyway so, heck, that way he can still do his whole ‘journey of reflection’ thing an’ still be on time.

“…Huh. That’s… that’s not a bad idea. It might actually work, and he might actually be on time for once! Because I swear, half the delegation seriously thinks Dead Hoof doesn’t exist, that he’s some made up boogie-stallion and the Frozen North is free land to claim.”

>Course they do, an’ why do they think that? ‘Cause y’all took took over how many years to think of what jus’ took me three seconds.

“…”

>So yeah, that’s all yer’ fa-

*thud!*

“I WARNED YOU!”

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>Twilight
"Celestia"
~~~

>...I suddenly feel old for some reason...

"......."

>...

"..............."

>...

"............................................."

>...Erm-

"Don't even try to save it."

>..........................................................

"Smart mare."

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NC
'SA'
~~~

'Hey, don't worry. No matter how much time passes, you'll never be too old for Shiny hugs!'

>"AWWWW!"

*HUGS!*

'...I mean, eventually I'LL get too old to do anything, including live, but YOU-'

>"Don't ruin the moment."

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I'm your new pony who says good night! Now for our main guest...RARITY!!!

"Hello darling."

>Good to see you're all right after our little incident.

"...what incident?"

>The one that didn't happen! You've been seeing some good action lately.

"Indeed. I'd rather not get rough, but it doesn't mean I'm not prepared to-"

>And that's all the time we have! Thanks for joining us and g'night!

"I really did wish you would extend the show a little longer."

>The day that happens is when you do a better job at running the economy than Applejack.
Rarity wakes up.

"...that's not terribly hard actually."

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