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Dec 23rd, 2015
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  1. BI-WEEKLY CINCINNATI SMASH NEWSLETTER #2
  2. EDITOR'S NOTE: Take care of your hands, kids. Suidt stepped out of recent smashfestings and S/A/B playing because his index finger has been hurting him. There's suspicions of tendinitis, which is pretty serious. Take breaks while playing, stretch your hands, don't grip the controller so hard, PLEASE L-CANCEL WITHOUT PRESSING THE TRIGGER ALL THE WAY DOWN!! Hand injuries are serious for Melee players. Don't become Hax$. Or local legend "Fox McCloud Best Character in The Game 420 Yolo Swag King Midas" Suidt.
  3. Greetings everyone! This is local beat reporter Moomoo Mumosa, here to give you the scrumptious details regarding the current goings-on of the Cincinnati scene. It’s been a wild ride these past two weeks: Pasta Edition, UC Smash Bros Saturday, two ranbats. Everything’s been shaken up, and if you’re busy just trying to hold on, it’s only natural that you won’t be tuned in to what’s happening around you. Fortunately, I’ve got the scoop for y’all — and what a scoop it is…
  4. THE NEW CLASS
  5. Last newsletter, I speculated about the still-wide gap between S and A tier and the inconsistency of those in A tier. At that time, TTB|Captain Awful was mentioned as the sole counterexample to this approximate level of player. This week, he proved that he may be breaking into the ranks of an S-rank regular, as he stayed there by beating Team Nick, Dr. X and Friendly Fire again. Have things changed since my last report? Is there still a gap, and is there still inconsistency? It’s probably still too soon to say when it comes to the gap, but as for inconsistency, I’m happy to say there is a clear group of “up-and comers to watch”: Burlap, I-19, Dirac and FriendlyFire. The first two have been earning wins on S-tier level players: Burlap defeated Shen at Pasta Edition, and barely missed top 8 by losing to Ambition, a loss he redeemed the proceeding week at the UC Smash Bros weekly. I-19 made it into S tier snatched a win from Team Nick at Pasta Edition and got top 2 in A tier this week to move into S. As for the latter two players, Dirac has stayed in A the past two weeks, the first player to do so since Burlap, and Friendly Fire made his debut in S this week (though he got demoted to A). It will be interesting to see how these players develop in the coming weeks and as the year draws to a close.
  6. ENTER THE PAS
  7. PAS made his mark by making top 4 in Pro-Am, keeping toe-to-toe with FEAR and defeating Ragu. Since the beginning of S/A/B, he has spent roughly a month and a half away from the arcade. In light of this, one might expect his progress to at least momentarily be hampered. Such is not the case: he lost to 1st (Hanky) and 3rd (Shen) and beat Captain Awful, AC, and Snap to make top 8 at CSR, and did not drop a set on his path to 1st place at the most recent S/A/B bracket (fun fact: he 2-0’d Ragu). What are his secrets? Consistent practice and study? Mentality adjustments and improvements? Sheer luck? What does his name mean anyways — is it really just an abbreviation of his name? Seriously PAS, the world wants to know. Does it stand for Passive Aggressive Superman? Pasta And Spaghetti? Poop Angry Souop? Er, anyways — speculate all you want, but no matter what, if this keeps up, it seems like there might be another Falco to look out for while FEAR is gone.
  8. S-TIER IS HARD, FOLKS
  9. So you’ve made it to S-tier, and you’re relieved. Overjoyed, in fact. But I’m here to tell you that making S? That’s only the beginning. In the past four S-tier brackets, the most consistent player has been Team Nick, who has placed in 3rd in three out of the four brackets. Everyone else’s placings varies by the week. Ambition? Won an S-tier, got 5th out of 8 this week. Snap? Won once, got 4th this week. Village Mascot? Got 2nd once, had to graduate from A this week and make it back *into S*. Dr. X? Has been a mainstay in S, but for the first time since the format’s inception, got knocked into A. In fact, every player who has won S ever, not just in these past four weeks, has never done so without dropping a game, and few have done so without dropping a set (Ragu, Snap and PAS are the only ones to do so). All of this begs a question, a new storyline, of course: will absolute dominance ever occur (2-0 every set)? Will S-tier ever be won by the same person two weeks in a row? Conversely, will every person experience demotion at least once? Only time will tell…
  10. CLASSICVANGELION 1.0: CINCINNATI IS (NOT) FREE?
  11. CSC IV, hosted by Dr. “Fuck You Man” X, “Tilt Man Metaphorical Semen Drinker” Ambition, and “C-Stick Is Cheating” Dirac is coming up on December 12th. Considered the quarterly proving grounds for Cincinnati, this tournament is shaping up to be quite a spectacle. There are talks of out of state players being interested in attending: Reeve, Rik, Jiano, Amida, Luigigoshard, Oro, Sago and the like. How will Cincinnati fare against them, and can they overcome our Columbus overlords? There is a PM crew battle or two scheduled to take place: how will Cincinnati do there? The Cincinnati Falco prince Toastbread (Will Zhang) will be home for winter vacation and playing in singles. Has SoCal training granted him the necessary skill to finally place first at CSC? Who out of our S-tier extraordinaires will place highest this time around, given the absence of Ragu? It’s more than two weeks away, but I will delay the newsletter accordingly to recap and highlight all the exciting action that occurs there.
  12. That’s all for this newsletter, folks — sorry for the lack of humor, but winter is upon us and my funnybone is chilled to the point of failure. Suggestions for features as well as comments are, as always, welcome below or in my inbox. Until next time!
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