I'll never be good enough.

If there is one thing I have learned through my 24 years of being alive, it's that I will never be good enough.
I've been passed up for jobs, relationships, colleges, houses, loans; even the damn McDonalds Drive thru.
My appearance is less than that of a baboon. I get paid the same as someone making food.
I had to drop out of my local community college because I was forced to work. I landed that job.
Too bad it left me 6 months later and made me move back in with my parents.
I was only chosen for my next job because there were no more canidants and they were short staffed.
I been cheated on in my relationships more times than there are walmarts in the world.
I have this habit of showing my feelings to someone only for them to take advantage of me.

This world doesn't want me in it. It continues to push me further and further down this rabbit hole we call life.
Maybe I should end it. Maybe that would solve my issues.
I wouldn't have to worry about being loved if I didn't exist.
Nobody could fuck me over if I died.
But fuck I'm not man enough to do it. I'm even a failure at that.

Until I get the strength to end it, I'll just keep my feelings to myself.
Continue wearing this stupid happy face so that others can feel good about their lives.
I'll keep showing those that hurt me how much I love them even though I know they will never love me back.
If someone needs me to drive to them just so they could punch me I'd do it.
Not that I want someone to punch me, but that I just don't feel this pain anymore.
The pain has gone on for so long, there isn't a thing that could change it.

I'm sick and tired of always being the guy people come to for advice.
I'm sick and tired of always being the guy people push around and use for their happiness.
I'm just so fucking sick and tired of this life.

I'll never be good enough for anyone.
I'll never be good enough for myself.
I'll never be good enough for this life.