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HOLLOW HEAD
Magic-User Level 3
DURATION: 1 turn/level
RANGE: Touch
This spell moves the target’s brain into a side dimension, and leaves a crack all the way around their skull. Their head can be opened and the brain-shaped space inside can be used to store handy things. The crack is undetectable and cannot be opened by anyone other than the caster. The subject is immune to mind-affecting magic as their brain is no longer there. Loose objects may rattle around. The brain returns to its position at the end of the period; if anything is occupying the same space the subject will die instantly. Unwilling subjects get a save against this spell.

SUMMON MIRTH ELEMENTAL
Magic-User Level 6
DURATION: 1 turn/level
RANGE: 20’
The most irritating elementals of all. Will be attacked by any other elemental present. Will probably be attacked by anyone else as well. Mirth Elementals instantly enrage anyone they have not charmed. The Elemental will obey the caster so long as the orders are funny. If the caster gives an order which the Elemental regards as nonhumorous then the Elemental will ignore it and create anarchy in whatever way pleases it most.

MIRTH ELEMENTAL
ARMOUR: As Plate
HIT DICE: 40
HIT POINTS: 8
MOVE: Flight
DAMAGE: 1d3/1d3
IMMUNE: to all psychological effects.
SPELLS: At will: Charm, Hold Portal, Audible Glamer, Invisibility, Magic Mouth, Mirror Image, Phantasmal Force, Confusion, Hallucinatory Terrain, Creation Major, Mind Switch, Animated Artwork, Power Word Stun, Reverse Gravity, Shape Change, Time Stop.

VAMPIRE COUNSEL
Magic-User Level 2
DURATION: See below
RANGE: 0
This spell requires two close friends to spill each other’s blood. Summons a member of the Vampire Court to deliver legal advice for the caster. The Vampire summoned will be human 70% of the time and 30% will be another humanoid but highly intelligent race. The Vampire is a fully trained and highly expert lawyer in every known legal system. The Vampire will serve in a legal capacity only and will do nothing illegal. Though there are, of course, grey areas. They will never engage in combat of any kind, except verbal combat. They will serve as long as they are fed one pint of blood a day and there is legal work to do.
Other creatures will react exactly as if a Vampire had suddenly appeared in their midst. However, if they examine their records, they will find the Vampire is a registered member of the bar in that polity and is qualified to represent the caster and associates in court. People have been arrested for casting Vampire Counsel, but never convicted.

WORTHLESS CORPSE
Magic-User Level 1
DURATION: 1 turn/level
RANGE: Touch
Appearing to be dead is not too useful underground. Corpses are resources. This spell makes the body of the target appear not simply dead, but utterly worthless, not worth investigating, without even marrow to crack open and eat.
All observers, including allies, will believe the body of the target to be dead, even if they saw them casting the spell. Should the ‘corpse’ get up and walk it will provoke horror and uncomprehending disgust. All present, including allies, must save versus Magic or compulsively attack the target until the target is destroyed.
It cannot be ended at will by the caster and affects all observers, even close friends, until the spell ends naturally.


If you open the jar, the creature (an Ignimbrite Mite) will swoop into your mouth and burn a sigil on your
tongue. This is now the only sound you can deliberately speak. Remove Curse should take care of it; so will cutting off your tongue.
You, or your severed tongue, will be hunted by spell seekers.
Roll a d20

THE EFFECTS OF A SIGIL-SEALED TONGUE
The effects will be one of the following. They increase according to the volume of the speaker’s voice. Someone screaming the glyph as loud as they can should be able to affect about a cubic metre of material each round.
Screaming at this volume continuously will cause serious damage.
1. Break Stone
2. Turn to mud
3. Turn to lava
4. Vomit Pyroclastic flow
5. Crystallise rock
6. Irradiate things
7. Sharpen swords
8. Be a spoken pole (magnetic)
9. Levitate stones
10. Return calcite animalcules to life (limestone and chalk are made of these; also you are the petty god of plankton now)
11. Tiny Diamond scream (reduces carbon to industrial diamond grit)
12. Phosphorise steel (make it brittle)
13. Carbonise organic things
14. Make loose rocks flee in fear
15. Animate fossils with a whisper
16. Speak in stop-motion accelerated rainclouds that dribble from your mouth like thick vomit and erode the ground beneath your feet to mud
17. Olivine branch whistlework (a kind of vine-growth of greenish stone)
18. Golden Scream (deep muscle trauma)
19. Sacrificial Anode Adenoids (prevents decay or aging while in use)
20. Skullwarper voice