Skipps Retard App

**OOC**
**Steam Name:** Skipp
**SteamID:** STEAM_0:0:48836584
**Years/Type of Experience:** 6
**What are you applying for:** Orion Special-Ed
**Etc (other knowledge given):** y e s

**IC**
**Character Name:** Lewis 'Woodtaker' 'Womanizer' 'Wooer' Whittaker
**Character Age:** 41
**Character (Brief) Description:**
Someone standing at a standard height-chart size of six feet, sporting a trimmed hairline and shaven facial features. Accent somewhere from the Southern US.
A loose smile seems to be always perched on this mans face, his armor the embodiment of "Modified To Boot," and his weapon with more tick-marks than a Taiwan Brothel.

**Character REALLY Brief Backstory:**
Whittakers' story starts pretty young, *too* young, as the kid faked his age to get into the UNSC.
Lewis usually exaggerates this story, stating he tried joining at age sixteen. Truth is, he joined a day before he was even eighteen of age.
Even then, he got kicked out twice before he landed back into the UNSCMC. When in Bootcamp, Whittaker got his very first nickname: Woodtaker. How?
It's a story he still lies about, but it always comes back to the *"Mispronunciation of Whittaker (Wit-uk-ur.)"* Nobody really knows the truth besides the group he trained with.
And honestly, I don't think anybody else would care for that story, either. Moving on, Whittaker graduated out of the UNSMC with very basic grades on everything but his ASVAB.
If anyone could go back and see the look on the graders face after he checked Whits' ASVAB, it'd be like someone slapped the devil out of 'em.
When confronted by his score, Whittaker didn't see it as special, his entire life he considered himself of average intelligence- Then again, his teachers did like him a bit too much when it came to grades.
During the conversation, something clicked in his head: *"...Am I bein' recruited for the special boys?"* The recruiter laughed and grabbed his shoulder. *"No shit, son."*
So, that's how Whittaker landed within the UNSCMC Special Forces branch, a funnel within a funnel. And if he could've gone back and chose not to be in it, would've saved him three surgeries and some knee cartilage.
This isn't talking about his affiliation with the ORION stuff- He just had some bad luck with a few injuries within the branch, some he could've lived without, tell the truth. But his years within that branch, to quote, "Kicked his dick and sucked his cock at the same time."
Eventually, when he was returning from deployment at a base on "Planet Dust the Fifth (Reach,) he went to his house and found something in his mailbox. It was confidential, whatever it was, sporting only his name and a government stamp.
Naturally, he opened it, after an hour of procrastination, retrieving way more than what he expected within the packet. It wasn't anything special, people get UNSC recruitment packets all the time- But this one was strange.
The packet kept talking about benefits, more opportunities- Then the logo in the packet surprised him: ORION. Truth be told, he didn't know what the fuck it meant, but he went along with it, and the next day he sent in a filled sheet, went on a shuttle, showed up, and was given the basics.
He couldn't really focus on what the 'Doc was explaining to him since he already signed the waiver and got his signature on every fine-lined dotted blotch on the paperwork, paperwork, strange. But as he lay down on an ice-cold slab of steel, it clicked.
*"What the fuck did I just get myself into?"*
That question still rings in Whittaker's brain, to this day