Rhythm the Unfriendly Ghost

Rhythm: [talking to a wax sculpture of himself] Have I told you how beautiful you are? Your wings, your nose, your eyes...a little lopsided. [takes out the right eye, fixes it then puts it back in place] There. And now that I've been immortalized in wax, I have conquered all artistic media. Come on, my precious reflection, smile! [Rhythm makes wax sculpture smile. Then he hears a crash from outside and frowns; the sculpture does as well]
Zorana: Hike, Jax, hike! [both run in separate directions but Zorana has a big rock. Drops the rock on the ground and it breaks in half while Jax blows a chess piece across a chessboard] You just lost three points. [climbs a tree branch] One. Two. Five! [flips upside down and blows a bubble into a shape] G-7!
Jax: G-7? King me! King me! [runs into the coral branch and pops the bubble] I lose!
Zorana: But it's not Tuesday, Jax.
Jax: Tartar sauce! [Rhythm peeks out]
Rhythm: Hey! What are you invertebrates doing?
Zorana & Jax: We don't know.
Rhythm: Hey Jax, do you know what time it is?
Jax: Uh, yeah, Rhythm, it's... [checks her watch but all the bubble soap leaks out when she turns her wrist around]
Rhythm: Time to find some other game to play! [laughs. Turns on the record player while taking a bubble bath]
Zorana: Now what?
Jax: [notices a shell on the ground] We could toss that shell back and forth.
Zorana: [picks up shell] Okay... ready! [throws shell into Jax's belly. Jax shoots it into the air]
Jax: Go! [Zorana goes after it]
Zorana: I got it! I got it! [the shell flies through Rhythm's open window, knocks into Rhythm's sculpture, and it falls over] I got it! I got it! I got it! [Rhythm in the other room, hears a thump, but he ignores it. Zorana and Jax enter the room via the elevator] Remember Jax, finders keepers.
Jax: There it is! [points to the shell that is in the wax sculpture of Rhythm]
Zorana & Jax: I got it! I got it! [Jax pulls the shell out]
Jax: Bonus points! [Jax starts to walk off]
Zorana: Uhh, Jax? I think something's wrong with Rhythm. He looks unconscious.
Jax: Don't worry. I know how to do this. [Jax tries to give CPR but her face turns blue and she floats up to the ceiling but lets out all the air and lands on top of the wax sculpture's head]
Zorana: Get off him, Jax! [Jax stands up]
Jax: What are you worried about? [Jax's behind is now imprinted on the sculpture's face] He looks better already. [Zorana & Jax stand him up]
Zorana: But he still feels cold. [they bring the sculpture in front of the window]
Jax: Well, let's go put him in the warm.
Zorana: Do you think he'll be okay?
Jax: You know, you worry too much. [the sculpture begins to melt] The Jax is here and Zorana I know a lot about head injuries, believe... [starts to drool as Zorana snaps her fingers] ...me. Hey, what's that on your shoe? [Zorana looks down]
Zorana: I don't know.
Jax: It kind of looks like... [a liquid puddle of green goo is on the floor]
Zorana & Jax: Rhythm! [both are screaming as Rhythm is powdering his nose]
Zorana: No, no, that part goes here.
Jax: Yeah-yeah, that's it, uh-huh.
Zorana: We're almost there. We can do this.
Jax: It's working, it's working...
Zorana: This is working. [sculpture melts again] Jax, this isn't working!
Jax: Look! [eyes turn over]
Zorana: I don't know how to say it, but our old pal Rhythm, he's... He's... He's pushing up daisies!
Jax: Oh, I thought he was dead. [Rhythm comes out of the bathroom covered in talcum powder. Zorana & Jax cling to each other and get scared]
Rhythm: [screams] What are you doing here?! Well? Are you two trying to say something, or do I have to...?
Zorana: No, stay back!
Rhythm: What is the matter with you two?
Jax: Don't, don't hurt us!
Zorana: It was an accident!
Rhythm: What are you two talking about? [he notices the goo on the floor and screams] Look what you've done to me! When I get my hands on you, I'll...
Zorana: Please, Mr. Rhythm's ghost! [Zorana & Jax are bowing before Rhythm] Spare us your ghostly anger! [Jax is kissing Rhythm's feet]
Jax: Oh yes, Mr. Rhythm's ghost! Please don't haunt us!
Zorana: We'll do anything you want! Just have mercy on us! [Rhythm then gets an idea and grins evilly]
Rhythm: Enough! Listen up, Rhythm's ghost is feeling unusually generous today. He hath decided to spare ye a a horrible fate. All ye must do is tend to my every whim and tickle my fancy on demand.
Zorana: Does that include...
Rhythm: Quiet! Now, do as you're told! Lest ye incur the wrath of Rhythm!
Jax: [whispers to Zorana] I think they make a cream for that now. [Zorana and Jax carry out Rhythm on his bed]
Zorana: Here?
Rhythm: Too hot. [walk a little more then stops]
Zorana: Here?
Rhythm: No, too wet. Keep going. Keep going. [walks a little more then stops]
Zorana: Here?
Rhythm: Toulouse-Lautrec. [rim shot]
Zorana: Too tired... [both stop where they are]
Rhythm: Perfect. Hmmm, I feel needy. [claps his hands] Slaves, fetcheth me some nourishment.
Zorana: Only the freshest, o spooky one. [both run off. Zorana comes back with grapes] A grape fresh from the vine, your ghostliness. [Rhythm eats it while Zorana goes and gets a banana] A banana peeled to your liking, your incorporealness. [squeezes it into Rhythm's mouth. Jax comes back with a watermelon and drops it into Rhythm's mouth!]
Jax: One watermelon fresh from the manure field, your spookiness. [Rhythm falls down and stands up with a watermelon head]
Zorana: Art thou not pleased? [Rhythm spits out the watermelon]
Rhythm : Enough of that! I want something else to eat now. Something that's very difficult to find.
Jax : What do you hunger for, master?
Zorana: Whatever you want, we'll find it. We'll find it.
Rhythm: Cherry pie. [Jax holds up a cherry pie] Where'd you get that?
Jax: I found it. [Rhythm takes it and throws it somewhere]
Rhythm: Well, go find it again! [Jax goes searching for it] Zorana, get over here. Now spin around. [Zorana turns around] That's better. Now jog in place. [Zorana jogs in place] Say flank steak.
Zorana: Flank steak.
Rhythm: I think I'm beginning to like this. Stop. [Zorana stops] Now, play me an elaborate song with this! [gives Zorana a tissue]
Zorana: But this is just a piece of tissue paper.
Rhythm: Oh, my. [turns back to Rhythm is his bath outfit] Always having to have it our way, don't we? Oh, boo-hoo. [Zorana tries to get the tissue as music]
Zorana: I can't do it! [Rhythm stands up]
Rhythm: Well, I hope you don't have any plans tonight, because you're not allowed to leave that spot until I hear a song. [walks away. Day turns into night and into day again and Zorana is lying on the ground with the tissue on her nose] What's this? Napping on the job? You're supposed to be making music for me. As punishment for this insolence, Rhythm's ghost commandeth you to clean out his back room.
Jax: [comes back with the pie] I found it. [Rhythm takes it]
Rhythm: I'll take that! [throws pie in Jax's face]
Jax: Yes, your ghostliness! [licks filling off her face] This is fun.
Zorana: Jax, are you ready for this?
Jax: Yes. [Zorana walks a couple steps forward]
Zorana: Okay, let's go. Jax, are you coming? [Jax is facing the wrong way]
Jax: Yes.
Zorana: Jax, it's this way.
Jax: Where?
Zorana: Here.
Jax: [turns around] Oh, coming! [both enter a room in the back with a bunch of junk in it] How are we going to clean up all this mess?
Zorana: It's easy. Just tear this wallpaper off! [tears the wall]
Jax: [laughs] Oh look, you missed some. [Zorana picks up a book]
Zorana: Oh, let's see. It's a comic book, and look at this. It's the Origin of the Deposed Beauty. [shows picture in the book] It says when she died they used her body as a window display. Now she haunts the seven seas because she was never put to rest. Well, don't you get it, Jax?
Jax: We're going to go shopping?
Zorana: No! We're gonna put poor old Rhythm to rest. [Rhythm is laying on the couch, Zorana & Jax spit spitballs at him]
Rhythm: Ow, what the heck was that?
Zorana: Initiation! That was part one of your ceremony.
Rhythm: Ceremony for what?
Zorana: We're going to put you to rest.
Rhythm: I don't want to be put to rest! All I want are those chores done. Now, did you clean the back room yet?
Zorana: Yeah.
Rhythm: Well, I'm going to go check. [walks off. Opens door and screams because he sees Jax & Zorana with a coffin]
Zorana: Okay, get in.
Rhythm: Are you crazy? I'm not getting in that thing.
Zorana: But you said we could put you to rest.
Rhythm: I didn't say anything like that! Now, get out of my house!
[Rhythm pushes Zorana and Jax outside ]
Rhythm : Now what? [Rhythm sees Zorana writing on a tombstone]
Zorana: I wrote Here lies Rhythm. You may not remember him, but... [Rhythm screams] Oh, hi Rhythm. Does this look deep enough?
Rhythm: Zorana! [turns back to Rhythm] Cut that out!
Zorana: Oh, look, the mourners have arrived. [a bus with a load of people are in front of Rhythm's house]
Zed: Oh, Rhythm, we all came as soon as we were sure you were dead.
Rhythm: Zorana, are you trying to put me in the nuthouse?
Zorana: No, just into this hole. [Rhythm sighs]
Rhythm: Zorana, I have a confession to make. [Takes off his night cap]
Zorana: You're bald?
Rhythm : No, I'm not bald! I'm alive! Now get rid of that tombstone and tell all your friends to go home!
Zorana: But-
Rhythm: Do it!
Zorana: Go home. [People get back on bus sadly] But Master--
Rhythm: I'm not your master, I'm your neighbor. Now do me a favor and please stop doing me favors. [walks off]
Zorana: As you wish, master.
Rhythm: D'oh!
Jax: Boy, he really had us fooled.
Zorana: No, Jax, he's the fool. He's a ghost in denial. He needs us now more than ever.
Jax: You're right. He really needs to get up to the great beyond.
Zorana: Jax, say that again.
Jax: That again?
Zorana: No, the other thing.
Jax: No, the other thing.
Zorana: No, what you said before when you...
Jax: No, what you said before when you..
Zorana: Never mind. I've got an idea.
Jax: Never mind! I've got an idea. [Later, Rhythm is reclining on his chair outside. Zorana is trying to blow a bubble big enough to get Rhythm]
Zorana: I can't reach him!
Jax: Blow harder. [Zorana blows a big bubble to consume Rhythm. The bubble lifts Rhythm gently from his chair. The octopus doesn't notice that he's floating.] There he goes!
Zorana: Isn't he beautiful?
Jax: How high's he going to go? [Rhythm sees he's floating]
Zorana: All the way, Jax, up to the great beyond. [both of them wave to Rhythm] Goodbye, friend.
Jax: Happy trails!
[Rhythm pounds his fists on the bubble and tries to yell, but his voice is so distorted by the soapy wall that unintelligible muffled noises come through.]
Zorana & Jax: You're welcome!
Zorana: He's on the other side now.
Jax: Yeah. [Rhythm is floating above the sea at Bikini Atoll island in a bubble] He's in a better place. [Rhythm moans in the bubble with seagulls flying around him]