chickenshit

To whom it may concern;

Unfortunately, it appears we need to have a talk about the "hot & spicy fried chicken" served hot from the deli at your Potsdam, Ny facility on 12/30/2017.  Now, let me preface what I'm going to say with the sad fact that I wasted some years of my life toward a biological sciences degree that, even if fate had let me complete, would be approximately as useful toward future employment as a barista of the week certificate.  Now, there's going to be some rather crude remarks, so if you're new here, I guess brace ourself.  *ahem*  Having just painfully, violently shat myself dry some minutes ago after eating your rather mediocre fried chicken for dinner, it smelled very strongly of geosmin (you know, that lovely wet dirt after rain smell?  It's rather less charming in the bathroom, FYI, QED, etc).  So, as that smell rather powerfully indicates a soil bacterium is responsible for my exciting evening, unless your staff were tapdancing in their mud-caked winter boots across the prep counter, THEY DROPPED THE CHICKEN ON THE FLOOR AND THEN BATTERED AND FRIED IT, WHICH DOES NOT KILL SPORE FORMING BACTERIA YOU HAM-FISTED AMORAL TROGLODYTES!! *ahem* Sorry.. like your chicken, I just had to get that out.  Kindly inform your shipping and deli staff that the five second rule does not, in fact, apply to poultry, for the reason listed above (also because some people are taking immunosuppressants for like.. medical stuff, which is totally a thing some people who still eat things sometimes do).  Thank you.

-Jason G