Dio fashion

A teenaged woman disentangled from the American flag she had attempted to pass on her way toward stage, tripped over a golden eagle, crashed through several Lady Libertys, and rolled to her feet shrieking. As several members of the audience guffawed, she bounced upright and stomped her foot.

"Oh come on! Who left all this junk here? There isn't even anywhere to stand!"

But soon people weren't laughing at her clumsy entrance—they laughed at her clothes. An androgynous hybrid of male and female fashion, half topcoat and half dress, upon which someone had seen fit to stitch the word "BULMA" in bright block letters. "Look at what she's wearing!" someone heckled. JoJo, well, he had to say, he preferred the layered look personally, but that was no reason for the crowd to harass the poor girl. He started forward to intervene and call them to order—

Dio bounded through the audience and pirouetted upon the stage. Dio? Surely, Dio only intended to deepen the girl's misery. Yet he faced the audience absolutely livid and shouted:

"'Silence', worthless knaves! You dare mock what can 'only be described' as the 'absolute pinnacle' of the fashionable 'arts'? Do you even see with those eyes, 'blind as you are'? Like the star-nosed mole, sightless from birth, you 'wallow' in the dirt unaware of the diamonds buried beside you. Insensible fools! This is the greatest outfit of all time, 'of all time'!"

In truth, it was terrifying to behold; for a moment JoJo expected Dio to outright attack the audience, wild as his fury was. Master Kenobi, of course, lamented the brash behavior, while Miss Bulma wriggled close to Dio, clasped her hands, and stared dewy-eyed.

"Myyyy you're handsome! What's your name hot stuff? I'm Bulma and I'm very available. What say you and I go out for some tea—"

But Dio, after another look at her, grimaced and stepped offstage, causing her to lose balance and flop onto her face.

- Voeltz Round 1B