He's Dead, Gym (One Shot)

>Night of the Angry Mob in Trotsylvania
>Be Anon the vampire lord
>You awaken from your coffin and rise in an unnatural fashion
>You do not need to follow any bodily routine for you are a member of the undead
>The better side of undead, not like rotting zombies or flesh-eating ghouls
>You preserve yourself with physical activity and the blood of innocent mares
>Your grounds keeper and daylight warden has just arrived in your chambers
>She grins at you with a lop-sided smile and a wall-eyed stair
Derpy: Master! You're up early tonight. Is it a special occasion?
A: No, my dear. I just vanted to get in a few more laps before I vent into town for groceries
D: Oh, OK!
>Derpy shuffles off to tend to the dusting and whatever she does when you are awake
>You don't even know your employees very well
>You consider having a power lunch one of these days
>Contemplating this, you hover to your treadmill and get to work
>Within 30 minutes, you are feeling great and have burned close to 800 calories
>As you know, you must replace all spent calories after a rigorous run lest you suffer the onset of cramping and muscle burns
>A knock at your door startles you
>Who could be visiting when your gym is closed?
>You open the door while still in your sweat clothes and see a yellow mare before you
A: Good evening, valued patron! I regret to inform you zat the gym is closed for the night!
Fluttershy: Oh, I know... I just need to ask you something, Anon
A: Yes, my leetle pony, vhat can I do for you?
F: Well, I was wondering. Was luring healthy young mares to your supposed gym so you could drain their vitae your fetish?
>You eye this mare suspiciously for a moment before she brandishes a silver cross
>You're eyes go wide with fright
>If that religious weaponry were to touch you, you would be paralyzed until its removal!
A: Now, now, my valued guest! You know the gym rules say, "No Italian food, religious paraphernalia, and/or high-powered tanning lamps are allowed on the premises"
F: I know... oh, but I was hired to destroy you. I'm a vampire-hunter, you see?
>She shows you here license and registration
>It all checks out
A: But, my dear, I am no vampyr! I am a seemple gym counselor and private tutor
>A heavy arrow with a silver tip flies past your cheek and embeds itself in a picture of yourself on the wall
F: Don't play coy with me, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-The-Second-Death! We both know you are the vampire who's been sucking the life out of the mares in this town
A: No, I swear! It vas the baker who owns a shop beside the butcher and across the street from the candlestick maker!
>Fluttershy holds up a mirror
F: What do you see... or rather, don't see?
>Foiled! You are not an excellent ruse-man at all!
A: If it is a fight you vant, it vill be a fight you get!
>You pull out a medicine ball and toss it at her
>Her untrained hooves fumble the solid weight
>It appears she doesn't even lift!
A: You vish to keel me yet you do not even have proper form! I will drink your blood and turn you into my obedient servant!
>You hear the sound of a light sobbing from behind you
D: M-master... I thought I was your obedient servant?
A: Ov course you are, Derpy. I do not mean a servant who is exceptional like you. I mean a servant who is a thrall to my power
>Derpy smiles and it melts your undead heart to see such happiness
>A bolt penetrates your back and lodges into your lung
>You wince and find this to be a really unfortunate nuisance
A: So, shooteeng me in the back! You call yourself a vampyr-hunter, yet you have no class!
>You toss a 40 pound weight to Fluttershy and see her sink to the ground
>She is pined and desperately needs a spotter
>Now is your chance to turn the hunter into the hunted and to say that cliché line!
A: Derpy! Fetch my good jump ropes and ready the leg press machine!
>Derpy works quickly and effectively
>Before too long, Fluttershy's hooves are tied to the back of the machine while her hind legs are suppressed by 300 pounds of tension
A: Ahahah! You vanted to keel me, but now, you shall suffer my wrath!
>You laugh and lightning flashes in the sky
>This disturbs you for the night is clear and calm otherwise
>You ignore the inconsistent sky and poise yourself above the helpless mare
F: You fiend! I would rather die than become a vampire... if that's OK with you?
A: No, my darling hunter, you shall live to die and zen live again as the unliving!
F: You monster...
>Fluttershy has tears run down her eyes
>She is taking this so much worse than you'd imagined
A: Well... here I go
>Fluttershy cries a little harder
>You are really not feeling this "feeding" right now
A: OK! Stahp! Look, I won't turn you into a thrall! Jeez, stahp with the crying and the moaning and the boo-hooing
>Fluttershy sniffles and perks up a bit
F: Oh, I am sorry... you're not really a bad vampire. You're just misunderstand
>You feel this accurately sums up the type of vampire you are
>You smile and carefully untie the jump ropes holding her hooves down
>She looks to you and smiles for a minute
>A gleam appears in her eye as her face nears your own
>Her lips purse and you are instantly taken in by her sudden change of heart
>Fluttershy hits her chest quickly and belches at point blank range
A: Oh! Disgusting! Vhat vas zat all about?
>Your face starts tingling and burning
>Holy damnation!
F: That's right, you undead meany. I ate a whole loaf of garlic bread before coming over here!
>You clutch your face in a vain effort to stop the burning
>Hehe... vampire puns
>No, wait! The burning is erasing your sense of humour and instead filling you with rage!
A: Derpy! Derpy! Vater! I need a bucket of vater quickly!
>As you stumble blindly, something heavy lands on you and pins you to the floor
>You feel the cool, silver metal of a crucifix rest on your head
>Shiiiiiiii~
>You can't move or scream of your own accord
>This is it, after hundreds of years of excellent customer service!
>You really didn't see it ending like this at all
F: Now, you mean ol' vampire. I'm going to make sure you can't hurt anyp0ny anymore!
>Fluttershy straddles your hips and pulls down your sweat pants
>Oh lord, she knows a vampire's greatest weakness!
F: I bet you never would have guessed that I was the vampire hunting world champion
>A sound of a rubber toy being squeezed fills your ears
F: I learned all about how vampires need to drink blood to build protein in their dying bodies. The fastest way to kill any vampire is to deprive them of food and drain them of stored protein!
>This stuff makes so much sense it practically writes itself!
>Fluttershy is suddenly moving your male parts around in her hoof
>Your body betrays  you and stiffens
F: Prepare to die, you monster!
>She slides herself upon you and rides you roughly
>Orgasm after orgasm depletes what little protein you had stored up this week
>You feel her slowing down and breathing heavily
>You are happy to still be within inches of life as she tires
F: You... you won't win so easily!
>She falls to her belly and you feel her mouth now taking up the dirty deed of murdering you
>Oh, heavens, does her mouth ever murder you!
>That tongue was made for slaying stallions and you are no match in your weakened state
>You hear a familiar voice ring out and hope floods your body nearly as quickly as you flood Fluttershy's mouth
D: Master! I brought the water! Sorry it took so long, but I keep dropping the bucket on the way up from the well and... master?
>Fluttershy stops with a mouthful of you and her eyes look up at Derpy
>Derpy looks down at you with tears in her eyes
F: W-what are you doing to my master?
>Fluttershy spits your precious vitae out of her wicked mouth and explains
F: I am trying to free you from his curse!
D: The master didn't curse me though...
F: Then why would you be working with a vampire if not for his mind-controlling curse?
D: Well, the master gives me a great salary and health benefits. Not to mention the stock options for his gym. And the master is really funny sometimes and always nice all the time!
>if you could, you would hug your loyal assistant right now
>Fluttershy stops and reflects on Derpy's words
>If you aren't mind-controlling Derpy, maybe you aren't trying to take over the town?
>Fluttershy sees her reflection in the mirror
>Her muzzle and crotch is covered in your life-force
F: Anon's not the monster here... I am...
>Fluttershy hangs her head in shame and pulls the cross from your forehead
>Your stiff muscle slowly return to life and you feel an immense soreness in your crotch
A: D-Derpy, you saved... me...
>Fluttershy flies off you and stands to one side
>Derpy takes your top half into a hug and you feel her blobbing tears on your shoulder
D: Master... you'll be OK, right?
A: I think so... I am just... very tired
D: I know I am not the type of filly you usually drink from... but, if I can save you, please bite me, master
A: N-no, Derpy... I could n-never... hurt you
D: Master, I love you! Don't die! If you die... I just don't know what I'll do!
>Derpy puts her neck against your lips
D: Open your mouth, master, and j... j... jam it in!
>You weakly prick into Derpy's supple flesh and lap at her neck
>This taste... it's of love!
>Having now drank a teaspoon full of blood, you are entirely reenergized and have a healthy glow about you
F: What? Was that all you needed to survive?!
A: Yes, my dear hunter. Vhat? Did you think I vaz sucking my customers dry and leaving their bodies to pile up in the streets?
F: Well... y-yes? That's what we learned in hunting school
>Hunters today, jeez
D: Master! You are awake again!
>Derpy hugs you very tightly
D: Master, I was so worried! I thought you were done for!
>She looks up at Fluttershy
D: Please, Ms. Hunter... don't kill my master... pretty please?
>Fluttershy looks at her hooves
>She turns and heads out the door with her head hung low
>You choke for a moment
A: Fluttershy, wait!
>She looks back at you with heavy eyes
A: I could be persuaded to forgive you of your ignorance
F: W-what would that take?
>You reach your hand in a pocket and pull out a stack of business cards
A: Take these back into town! Place them in the weendow of the post office! We are always accepting new members for free nighttime sessions
>Fluttershy looks conflicted
F: Helping a vampire... some hunter I am...
>She walks away into the sunrise
>Oh fuck!
A: Derpy, help me to my coffin... this was a long night, but I will see you in the evening
>Derpy helps you to your coffin and closes your lid
>You yell to try and call out to her
A: Thank you, my faithful assistant! You are truly excellent!
>Derpy clutches the coffin tighly and cries
D: Thank you, master... I love you
>You fall asleep peacefully for another morning
>No more hunters should be bothering you after the good news is spread
>Maybe you will even have new customers the following evening!
>All in all, you will no longer have to fear
>Fucking Fluttershy