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Lord_Bartex

[A4A] [Poem] Thank You

Lord_Bartex
May 28th, 2019
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  1. [A4A] Thank You [Poem] [Romantic] [Longing] [Thoughtful]
  2. | A poem |
  3.  
  4.  
  5. Author's notes: Feel free to improvise and/or tweak the material in a way that suits you.
  6.  
  7.  
  8. -~-~-~-~-
  9.  
  10.  
  11. I'm grateful to you
  12.  
  13. I really am
  14.  
  15. Even if all I feel right now is pain
  16.  
  17. I believed that I could keep you at bay
  18.  
  19. Never imagined that you would give someone like me any time
  20.  
  21. I thought I knew better than to love you
  22.  
  23. Because any real connection was impossible
  24.  
  25. I couldn't help but fall
  26.  
  27. Every time I received a new piece of the puzzle, I sank deeper into a maelstrom of hope
  28.  
  29. I could visit you in the future - perhaps
  30.  
  31. We would learn new things together - maybe
  32.  
  33. I just want to meet you - that's all
  34.  
  35. And so I kept pondering what could be, while I sank even deeper into your world
  36.  
  37. A world created by a trick of the brain
  38.  
  39. I only ever saw what you wanted me to see
  40.  
  41. I still believe in your honesty
  42.  
  43. You were far too vulnerable to be dishonest
  44.  
  45. My interest in you kept transforming
  46.  
  47. In the end, I had grown dependent on you
  48.  
  49. My free attention revolved first and foremost around your person
  50.  
  51. I have only ever wanted what's best for you
  52.  
  53. This is the solemn promise I made back when we first started to interact
  54.  
  55. At first, I swore this because I admire you
  56.  
  57. Now, I swear it because I care about you
  58.  
  59. Not because of the nature of the place where we met
  60.  
  61. Not because of the intimate fantasies we shared with each other to become better persons
  62.  
  63. My feelings for you are grounded in who you are
  64.  
  65. Strong. Feminine. Intelligent. Silly. Wise. Curious. Kind.
  66.  
  67. The depth of your personality is exceptional
  68.  
  69. Your flaws shape you
  70.  
  71. The more I think about it, the more I long for you
  72.  
  73. Should you ever listen to this, then you may wonder if I am sane or not
  74.  
  75. The truth is somewhere in the middle
  76.  
  77. If anything, you made me insane and I don't blame you for it
  78.  
  79. There are moments where I wish it had not come to this
  80.  
  81. That you had not taken an interest in me
  82.  
  83. Then I wouldn't be in this emotional turmoil
  84.  
  85. I don't blame you.
  86.  
  87. I'm not afraid of loving you, even if it's all a fantasy in the end
  88.  
  89. I will live on. I will survive.
  90.  
  91. This deep, lingering pain of losing someone I hardly ever knew.
  92.  
  93. I know it’s selfish of me to feel like this.
  94.  
  95. If I cannot let you go, then I do not deserve you either.
  96.  
  97. My pain was born of sympathy and compassion for you.
  98.  
  99. Now, it’s fueled by greed, doubt and desire.
  100.  
  101. If only I could make you see why I feel like this.
  102.  
  103. Should I let you go?
  104.  
  105. Maybe that's for the best
  106.  
  107. I wish we could go back to the way things were
  108.  
  109. Late night talks
  110.  
  111. Silly banter
  112.  
  113. Deep conversations
  114.  
  115. All of it
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