STERNO
By Danny P














































Part 0
_____________________

1. INT- TIM'S ROOM-NIGHT
Timothy Finnegan, a 15 year old boy bolts up in bed. Across form him, in an oversized white dress shirt sits Maidadate Mimosa. She is gorgeous and has bright green eyes and an evil smile with crudely bobbed sleek black hair.

TIM
What are you doing here?

MAI
Shhhh.

TIM
Who are you?

CUT TO: FISH EYE LENSE ON MAI

MAI
You'll see.

TIM
What do you want from me?

MAI
I want you to grow up.

TIM
Why?

MAI
Because I need you to do something for me.

TIM
Why can't I do it now?

MAI
Because you're young.

She leans over and kissed him on the cheek.

CUT TO:
Tim shoots up in his bed alone. he is wearing different pajamas and is alone. He lays back down and closes his eyes.

CUT TO:

TITLES/OPENING CREDITS
Scored to Wouldn't It Be Nice by the Beach Boys or a cover thereof. The following shots go with the following lyrics.

Opening arpegios
Title card: Present day
Title card: Present time

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long

A girl in a hood stands on a street corner, watching through a shop window an adult buying a new phone. She eventually zones out on the scene, distracted by an ad flashing on a screen in the store. She is surrounded by birds.

And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

The ad flashes a logo and the birds fly off, starting her. She notices a strange bird, but her phone rings and she answers, forgetting about it.

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

A 20-something couple. A shot of him texting her. A shot of him texting her back. A shot that reveals they are lying in bed together in domestic security. he texts "Kisses!" to her. She texts back "Re: Kisses KISSES!" They lie down and go to sleep


Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new

(A boy and girl wake up on a hill in a park. The sun is shining bright, and a brightly colored large billboard dominates the scenery. The two smile at each other)

And after having spent the day together





Hold each other close the whole night through
(


The happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending

(Night-time. We see a teenage party through a large suburban backdoor. A different couple is swaying together. They kiss. The girl takes her earbuds out of her ear just long enough to be drawn away form her solipstistic experience of reality and opens her eyes during the kiss. She replaces the earbud, and closes her eyes)


Oh Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true (run, run, run)
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do

A fat manchild plays a dating simulator.

We could be married (we could be married)
And then we'd be happy (then we'd be happy)

(Casey and Chris)

Wouldn't it be nice (ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba)

You know it seems the more we talk about it

(At school, Tim walks from his locker, down the hall to the front exit, and passes by a group of girls. They are all huddled around a single on on a cell phone, gabbing about something)

It only makes it worse to live without it

(Tim looks back a little horny and a little wistfully at one of them, Jill Thornley, on her own phone facing away from the group. She doesn't seem happy.)

But lets talk about it

(His lips move. He shrugs his back and walks straight away.)

Oh, wouldn't it be nice

(out the school.)




Part 1
________

3. EXT. St. ZARATHUSTRA'S-PARKING LOT

Tim walks along to the car where his friends, Biggs and Wedge are waiting for him, already in Biggs' car.

BIGGS
Tim!

TIM
I'm coming!

He runs to the car and gets in the back-seat.

CUT TO:

INT. BIGGS CAR -DAY

Tim sits in the backseat. They begin to drive away as Wedge's phone rings. He answers it.

WEDGE
Jill?

Tim perks to attention.

WEDGE
Yeah, we'll get you. Yeah, I see you.

Tim sees Jill right outside the window. She opens the door and climbs into the backseat by Tim.


JILL
Thanks, Wedge.

WEDGE
It's nothing.

Tim smiles at Jill. She smiles back. Biggs turns on the radio. Jill lights a cigarette.

They chatter as they go on their way.

JILL
Wedge, are you going to the dance?
WEDGE
I don't know. Might show up if I feel like it.

JILL
You should. What about you, Biggs?

BIGGS
Eh.

JILL
Tim?

TIM
I don't think so.

JILL
You should come. You'd have fun. Maybe hook up with someone?

TIM
Yeah, maybe. Probably not. I just don't think I'll go.

JILL
Why not? Come on, I'll be your date.

TIM
What? No, I don't think...

JILL
Yes. Come on.

TIM
I just don't know.

JILL
You'll do it. Come on.

TIM
I guess...sure. Why not?

JILL
Good boy. I'll call you.

Tim turns away, a little uncomfortable, but through the window we can see he's smiling.

CUT TO:



EXT. JILL'S HOME -DAY

They come by a modest apartment complex. Jill disembarks, waving at the three boys as they drive away.


INT. BIGG'S CAR -DAY

Tim turns away from the window, not afraid to let his smile show anymore. Wedge shakes his head in teasing condescension.

WEDGE
Nice going Timmy, you almost blew it, but you pulled it out in the end.

TIM
Ya think? I was worried there at first.

WEDGE
Just be careful with that one. She's a firecracker I reckon.

TIM
You're full of shit.

WEDGE
Just make sure you wear a rubber, alright?

TIM
Now I know you're full of shit. Nothing is going to happen. You know it, Biggs knows it, Tim know it.

WEDGE
Whatever you say. You're just another dirty dog like the rest of us, and Tim know that too.

TIM
Whatever guy. Whatever.

Wedge grins.

(add Finnegan family scene that takes us into night)

CUT TO:

INT. DECREPIT APARTMENT – NIGHT

A strange, wizened man in his 50s wears a wife-beater and cargo shorts. His name is Ivan, and he is an occultist. He enters the apartment with a sack of groceries. His apartment is strewn with peculiar occult paraphernalia. His desk covered in folders and papers. There are stacks of books everywhere. In one corner of the room is an altar to the hideous god, Smugmo of The Void. There is also, on a table, a model of St. Zarathustra's School. He turns on the light and walks to the kitchen and begins to put them away. Upon opening his refrigerator and placing a few items inside, he notices something is amiss. He takes out a pickle jar, which is empty. He looks around nervously.

IVAN
Hello...? Is there...anyone here?

Silence!

IVAN (cont'd)
Hello! Come on...I didn't put this jar back in the fridge empty! I never put the jar back in empty!

The silence continues.

IVAN
Who the fuck is in my apartment! Come out right now!

The silence does not abate. He looks around for something to use as a weapon. The best he can find is a half empty whiskey bottle. He grabs it and cautiously steps out of the kitchen to find two men, one tall (Howard) and one short and wearing a panama hat (Phil) sitting on his couch, eating pickles from a plate.

They wave at him. He panics and smashes the bottle against the wall, creating a shank.

IVAN
What are you doing here?

PHIL
Official business. You're Ivan Sternodox?

IVAN
Who are you?

PHIL
Phil Dexter. This is my partner, Howard Ward.

HOWARD
Howdy.

Phil pulls out a cigarette and proceeds to light it with a Zippo lighter which features an engraving of an elaborate Eye in the Pyramid motif, which Ivan immediately recognizes. His face flashes horror, which turns quickly to fear, then to anger as he shouts.

IVAN
You're with them! I knew they'd send their goons eventually!

PHIL
Well now, sir, there's no need to over-react just yet...

IVAN
You shouldn't have come here!

He grips up on his shank and slashes it through the air in an intimidating fashion.
IVAN
You better leave, right...

Howard sighs.

HOWARD
Shut up.

IVAN
You...you better leave now!

Howard sighs again, then pulls out a pistol and very casually shoots Ivan in the legs, dropping him to his knees.

Phil walks up to him, kicks the shank aside and proceeds to drag the old man over to the couch and toss him onto it by Howard, who keeps his gun leveled at the man's head.

HOWARD
Well I guess we can skip that whole 'we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way' bit.

IVAN
What do you want?

Phil paces the room, poking around at various items as he speaks.

PHIL
You sir, are a direct male descendant of Alphonse Sternodox, are you not?


IVAN
My name is Finnegan! Obediah Finnegan!

PHIL
Your name is Ivan Sternodox.

IVAN
I don't know what you're talking about.

Phil stops at the shrine and smirks.

PHIL
I see you worship Lord Smugmo. Just like your great, great, great, great grandpappy.

IVAN
...

PHIL
Howard...

HOWARD
Right.

Howard does something ghastly. Ivan screams in pain.

PHIL
We aren't dicking around, Sternodox.

HOWARD
Where are the others?

IVAN (in pain)
There are no others!

PHIL
Whatever kind of operation you're carrying out isn't one you're going to be pulling off solo. We know you have collaborators. We want you to tell us, and we want you to be nice and honest with us.

IVAN
Haha! You fucked up. It's almost done already. The son has already been incarnated, and soon he shall awaken!

PHIL
Fuck that, we have a job to do. Who are the rest of the members of the Sterno Society for Evolutionary Alchemy?

IVAN
Hahahahahahaha...
He begins to mumble, soft and low.
IVAN (cont'd)
(some kind of wordplay/pun/chant and his hair begins to glow. An intense swelling sound fills the room)

HOWARD
...I don't like what he's doing.

PHIL
What's he doing?

HOWARD
I don't know, but I think it's going to be trouble.

PHIL
Well maybe, I don't know, stop him?

HOWARD
Oh yeah.

Howard pistol-whips Ivan across the face. Ivan's eyes flash, the walls rattle. Howard is thrown across the room my some unseen force, causing him to drop his gun.

HOWARD
Shit! Phil!

PHIL
I'm on it!

Ivan rises from the couch. His hands twitch and melt into some kind of horrible, fleshy tentacles.

IVAN
Idiots! Did your masters really think a couple second hand assassins would be any match for me? Didn't they tell you who we are?

The tentacles rush at Phil. He tries to dodge, but gets grabbed by the foot and pulled slowly towards Ivan, who opens his shirt to reveal a toothy, gaping, vaginal maw in his chest. Phil winces and grimaces in fear and revulsion.

PHIL
Ahhh! Ahh! Jesus! Get it away from me!

IVAN
Stupid little man!

HOWARD
Heads up, squid-gina!


Howard leaps at him, pinning him back down to the couch holding a large knife. He repeatedly kicks the toothy vangina chest, which bites at his boot. He grabs a pillow and shoves it over Ivan's face and stabs through it over and over again. Eventually, Ivan dies.

Phil wriggles out of the tentacles and stares at the body, disgusted, as he brushes himself off and straightens his hat.

He walks over to the body and daintily pokes at the hole in Ivan's chest.

PHIL
Jesus Christ, you actually like to put your dick into these things?

HOWARD
Well usually they aren't so toothy-deathy.

PHIL
Yuck. Well, so much for interrogation. Fucking alchemists, I've never seen anything quite like that before.

HOWARD
Keel said they weren't your run of the mill. Transmuting flesh, that's quite a feat.

PHIL
I'm kind of excited to meet his friends. Might actually be a challenge.

HOWARD
At least we have a better idea what we're up with.

PHIL
Yeah. Well, guess we better gather what we can from here and scram before the police show up. Get his laptop and notes, I'll see what I can find.

Howard goes to the desk and begins tossing papers and notebooks into a nearby box, when he finds something that interests him.
HOWARD
Hey, check this out.

He picks up a name tag for St. Zarathustra's that indicates Ivan was employed there as a custodian.

HOWARD
St. Zarathustra's....that's the school out by the Cronenburger.

PHIL
What about it?

HOWARD
Looks like old boy was a custodian there.

PHIL
Well, we should probably check that out.

HOWARD
And get some tasty burgers.

PHIL
Sounds like a plan.

HOWARD
Let's blow.

They walk out, each carrying a box of evidence.

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - NIGHT
Tim and Jill walk in, Jill attached to Tim's arm in a way that makes him somewhat uncomfortable, but awfully happy at the same time. Jill feels triumphant, like a man after a sexual conquest, or a girl confident in the eventually of an impending sexual conquest.
Tim spots Biggs and Wedge off in the corner by the refreshments stand, mooching off the snacks. Especially the cookies. Jill's phone rings and she reaches to answer it.
JILL
I have to get this real quick

TIM
Yeah? Well, I'll just be right over there then.
He heads off and stands by Biggs and Wedge, both of whom are smirking.
WEDGE
Holy fuck your girl looks foxy tonight Timmy son.
TIM
Jesus Wedge, don't fucking call me Timmy.

WEDGE
Sure thing, cowboy. But seriously, she's fucking hot. Think you might need a little help handling her after you leave?

TIM
Oh shut up. God.

WEDGE
Well if you do, you got my number

Tim smirks, but then frown. He puts his hand to his head. Things begin to move slowly. Things are not as they seem.

WEDGE (coming in and out of focus)
You know what to do right?

TIM (crosseyed and painless and confused)
What??

WEDGE
With that Jill. You know what she wants right?

TIM
What??

WEDGE
Feel that rhythm emotion.

TIM
What

BIGGS (solemnly, as he says all of the few things he says)
Don't think.

Tim's headache becomes worse. he looks out on the dance-floor. He sees everyone sway, float, and shimmer. He puts his head in his hands and leans against the concession table. The sight of an attractive girl's shapely ass distracts him.

TIM (as if in a trance, hypnotized by the ass)
Tentacles...

SOMETHING
The world moves on a woman's hips.
The world moves and it bounces and hops

TIM
God that ass...that tentacles...that...oh Jesus.

As quickly as his peculiarity came it passes. Everything returns to the normal speed. The people stop shimmering. He snaps to attention and looks up, right into Jill's not-unimpressive tits. His eyes soon find the woman singing with the band playing on-stage as the students dance. She is scanning the audience, watchful for something. Her eyes meet his briefly. She looks at him quizzically then returns to her scan. The band plays Party Girl by Elvis Costello.

JILL
Timmy? Are you ok?

TIM
Yeah. yeah. yes. It's fine.

JILL
Are you sure?

TIM
Yes. yes. Don't worry I'm sorry, it's just this thing that happens...

WEDGE
Migraine again?

TIM
I'm fine. It. It's just something that happens sometimes, just weird little bursts of...migraine.

JILL
Do you want to get some fresh air?

TIM
No, I'll be fine. It's gone now.

He ambles clunkily over to the refreshment stand and quickly downs two small Styrofoam cups of fruit punch.

He looks back over, his hair somewhat disheveled, his eyes somewhat wide.
TIM
See? Totally cool. Everything is cool. I'm pretty cool. Yeah.

A sturdy matronly woman comes by with a ruler, holding it between all students regardless of distance. She holds it in the wide space Between Tim and Jill and then moves on.

TIM
Cool motherfucker. That's me.

WEDGE
Whatever, bro.

JILL
I can't believe they actually got a band this time.

TIM
Hmm?

JILL
There's a band. A real band. Usually they just get some shitty DJ.

TIM
Is it a special occasion or something? What is this dance even for?

JILL
I don't know. It's just a dance. Just a dance with a band. Why is there a band?

TIM
Huh. Weird.

JILL
So...this is a dance.

TIM
Yeah?

JILL
So do you want to?

TIM
Want to...what?

JILL
To dance.

TIM
Yeah I guess.

Dancedancedance to Party Girl by Elvis Costello.

JILL
God damn it Timmy, why are you so tense?

TIM
I'm not tense!

JILL
You're tense.

TIM
I'm sorry.

JILL
Don't be sorry just relax. Just move.

TIM
Just...

JILL
Yeah. Come on. Feel how I'm moving? Follow me, move with me. Come on. Not like that. Be natural. A girl can tell when you're trying too hard. What are you so worried about?

TIM
I'm not worried!

JILL
You're terrified.

TIM
Maybe you terrify me.

Jill laughs. The band begins to play Ceremony by Joy Division.

JILL
You're precious, Finnegan.

The dance and the band's singer are suddenly interrupted by the sound of gunfire. Someone screams. A man looking rather like a Samurai Nazi run in. A katana is strapped to his back, and he carries a Walther PPK. He rushes ahead past a group of students and fires several more shots out the door and returns his gun to its holster.

His name is Kazuya.

KAZUYA
Shit! That wasn't her!  Shit! Shit!

He glances at the students and grabs one. A girl.

KAZUYA
You'll have to do!

GIRL
Let go! Let go! Ahh!

KAZUYA
Shut up! Here!

He removes a grotesque necklace from a pouch around his belt and thrusts it into the girl's hand.

KAZUYA
Put that on now!

GIRL
What is it!? Let me go!

KAZUYA
Put it on now!

She does so while sobbing. The rest of the crowd backs away, frightened and confused. He produces a monstrous looking ceremonial knife and pushes the girl down to her knees and begins to chant.

As he chants the necklace growls  and hisses, tightening around the girl's neck. She tries to pull at it but is powerless to fight it. Kazuya continues to chant. He holds the kife to the girl's throat. She jerks against his grib, receiving a light cut on her neck. She squeals. A tiny trickle of blood runs down to the amulet, which ti hungrilly laps up.

Just then the voice of the band's singer, a busty redhead in a topless gown yells out.

SINGER
Whatcha doing, Kazuya?

He turns to face her.

KAZUYA
Mimosa!

He throws the screaming, choking girl to the floor along with the knife and whips out his Walther and fires at her. She flips away from the two shots to the guitarist. The entire band is still playing. She  swiftly pops the guitarist's head back. HE IS A ROBOT! She pulls a sawed off double barrel shotgun out of his neck, and backflips off the stage, dodging another shot in the process. She lands across from Kazuya and whisks off her dress and the wig. Beneath it she wears a long white scarf, a tactical corset, jeans and boots. She reaches into one of the pouches on her corset and pulls out a Chinese People's Liberation Army hat, places it on her head and levels the gun at Kazuya.

Finding the Walther to be out of bullets, Kazuya casts it aside and draws his Katana, taking an aggressive posture.

KAZUYA
I knew you were lurking around somewhere!

MIMOSA
Well, I get around.

He comes at her swinging. She parries his blows with her gun and matches him.

They step back.

KAZUYA
Don't you get it Mimosa? You can't stop us.

MIMOSA
Who said anything about stopping you?

KAZUYA
What?

They exchange further blows.

KAZUYA
Of course you want to stop us! You've been interfering with our schedule for years!

MIMOSA
I'm just trying to make things easier for myself.

KAZUYA
What are you talking about?

MIMOSA
I don't have to tell you. You won't be around to find out either.

She leaps back, takes aim, shoots the sword out of his hand, then blasts his kneecaps, shattering in them, sending him tumbling to the ground.

She stops to load a couple more shells into her gun and slowly saunters up to him, singing to herself

MIMOSA
I wanna be around
To pick up the pieces
When somebody breaks your heart...
When somebody...

She sticks the barrel right up into his face.

MIMOSA (cont'd)
Breaks your heart...

He raises his hands in protest. She doesn't care. She pulls the trigger and blasts him. The brains splatter against Tim and Jill, who are pressed against a wall far too close to the scene for comfort.

MIMOSA (cont'd)
...In two.

She turns around and notices all of the student huddled against the walls in fear.

MIMOSA
Sorry about the mess.

She rests her gun over her shoulders and walks over to the lifeless, decapitated body of the Girl. She picks up the necklace, gently shaking the neck and head off of it and smiles at it. She places it into one of the pouches on her corset and looks back at the horrified students, smirks in Tim's direction, and quickly sprints away.

Jill holds Tim tight, hyperventilating. Tim stares out into space in numb shock.

FADE TO:


EXT. ST. ZARATHUSTRA'S-NIGHT

Two Cop cars and an ambulance are gathered. We see the students filing past the police, patted down and sent on their way, including Jill and Tim. The scuttle down the road, Jill clasping tight to Tim. Gradually they come upon two shadowy figures by a street lamp who just so happen to be Phil and Howard.

Phil takes a long drag at his Lucky Strike and looks over the couple

PHIL
Hey, looks like there's been a to-do at the school. What happened?

TIM
I...

JILL
Jesus christ jesus christ please jesus christ daddy.

PHIL
Never mind. You kids ok?

JILL
I..I...I...ayeyiyi...

TIM
I don't know man... we'll be ok...hey...

Tim stops walking. Jill merely clings to him.

TIM
I hate to ask, but can I bum a smoke off you?

PHIL
How old are you?

TIM
I smoke.

PHIL
I didn;t ask if you...oh fuck it. I only got unfiltered, but my partner, he smokes filtered. Howard, be a doll and give the kid a smoke.

HOWARD
Not a thing.

Howard whips out a Marlboro Red and tosses it to Tim.

HOWARD
Does your girlfriend there want one too?

TIM
She's not my...

JILL
Yes please.

Phil and Howard grin at each other knowingly. Howard hands a cigarette to Jill.

PHIL
So you aren't her what, or what?

TIM
I'm not her boy...

JILL
Lighter?

HOWARD
Don't you got a lighter of your won kid?

TIM
I'm 15, I can't buy lighters/

PHIL
Pish posh. Any jerkoff can get a lighter. It's like a coming of age thing.

HOWARD
When we were your age we stole them, from parents or careless friends. Getting lighters is just a big game. Why aren't you playing the game?

PHIL
Really owning your own lighter is a symbol of manhood. You're a human aren't you? Man make fire! If you can't make your own fire you aren't any better than your run of the mill caveman, now are you?

TIM
I can get lighters...

HOWARD
So where is yours?

TIM
…

HOWARD
I'm just fucking with you. Here.

He hands Tim his specially engraved Illuminati zippo. Tim is fascinated by the design and looks ti over right after he lights his cigarette.

TIM
Nice...I've seen that symbol...

HOWARD
Sure you have. Everyone has. Motherfuckers think they're so goddamn clever leaving their symbols out in the open for anyone to see...

TIM
Who does?

HOWARD
The illumin...

PHIL (cutting Howard off)
Just some assholes.

HOWARD
Yeah.

TIM
Ok...

PHIL
So what just went down? You kids seem pretty shook up, especially your girlfriend.

TIM
I don't even know man. Some dude was swinging a sword and some weird girl just blasted the fuck out of him. I don't know man. I really don't know.

PHIL
What?

TIM
I told you, I...

HOWARD
But you saw it!

TIM
I told you what I saw!


HOWARD
Well slow down man.

TIM
I can't! I...

SOMETHING
The world moves and it bounces and hops.

TIM
AAAAAAAAAAH!

HOWARD
What's wrong?

TIM
I told you! I don't want to...ahhh...ahhh...Jesus Christ stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Don't do shit inside my head!

PHIL
Hey kid! Kid!

Phil grabs Jill and shakes her out of her funk.

PHIL
Hey! Hey! What's wrong with your boy...

JILL
Timmy! Timmy what's wrong!?

The feeling passes.

TIM
It's nothing! It's...it's gone.

He notices a red light, beaming from the bushes nearby.

TIM
What's that?


Phil and Howard over at it.

PHIL
Laser sights?

He frowns, pulls his gun out and fires off several shots into the bushes. The light ceases.

PHIL
I fucking hate laser sights!

Howard walks over to the bushes and pokes them with his foot. Nothing happens. He reaches in and pulls out the remains of some strange bio-mechanical cycloptic bird robot.

HOWARD
Well well well, looky here.

He brings it back over and sets it on the sidewalk. He and Howard crouch down to examine it, Howard prodding it with a straight edge razor he produces from inside his trench-coat.

JILL
What is it?

HOWARD
Some kind of bio-mechanical bird thingy. The question is, what's it doing here?

PHIL
Watching us...

HOWARD
Phil, look at this.

He indicates a portion of it's head armor, covered in various occult symbols.

HOWARD
This thing ain't natural, and it ain't strictly scientific either.

PHIL
More weird alchemy. It would appear we've caught the interest of those Sterno jokers.

HOWARD
Fuck yeah. It's on.

PHIL
Are you kids going to be ok? Do you need a ride or something?

JILL
No...

TIM
What's going on?

PHIL
Nothing you want to get mixed up in. You sure you'll be ok to get home?

TIM
Yeah.

PHIL
Well you better skedaddle then.

TIM
Right.

PHIL
Here...

He hands Tim a business card. It reads:

Philip A. Dexter & Howard D. Ward
Private Investigators/Consultants
555-555-5555

PHIL
Give us a call whenever you feel like talking about whatever happened at the school, or if you ever need any detective work of consultation about weird shit. Now let's split.

TIM
Thanks.

HOWARD
Be careful. Weird shit's going on around town.

TIM
Yeah. Thanks. Bye.

Tim and Jill walk off down the sidewalk. Phil and Howard walk the opposite direction.

Above them, several more of the strange bird creatures watch. They fly off, following Tim and Jill.

CUT TO:





 EXT. JILL'S APARTMENT COURTYARD

Tim and Jill walk in under the moonlight. Jill goes to a  plastic yard chair and collapses into it. Tim looks around, nervous.

JILL
Thanks. I'm sorry I made you go out of your way.

TIM
It's ok. I don't mind. I liked it.

JILL
Do you want to come in for a Dr. Pepper?

TIM
I don't know, I should be...

He stops and stares at her. She is beautiful. He cannot resist.

TIM
Yeah. I would.

JILL
You must be thirsty...

TIM
Yeah...I am.


She leads him inside.


INT. JILL'S ROOM

Tim sits on the bed, looking around.

Jill returns with a Dr. Pepper

TIM
Thanks.

JILL
Yeah. Yeah.

Timopens his Dr. Pepper and takes a drink from it. Jill watches.

TIM
Fuck I was thirsty!

He returns to the drink, furiously chugging the whole thing down then pulling the can away. Jill watches.

TIM
God! God damn! Ahhh! Could I get another one? Please?

JILL
Yeah, of course! Of course!

She goes to get another can of Dr. Pepper. Tim returns to the can, trying to remove every last trace of moisture form it. His thirst is  His thirst is barely unnatural.

Jill returns with another can. He grabs it as soon as she extends it. He crack into it and chugs half of it, takes another sip and sighs content. She sits, closer to him this time.

TIM
I'm sorry! I had no idea how thirsty I was!

She nods.

She attacks him. He pushed him down. She kisses him. She wraps her arms around his waist and pulls herself tight agains thim. She kisses him. He is shocked. He kisses her. He holds her waist. His hands drift down. They drift up. They drift down. They drift andown and squeeze. Hers clutch his wast. His back. His head. His hair. They kiss. Her legs curl around him. He presses close. They kiss. He gasps. He pulls away. He drinks his Dr. Pepper. He is afraid of beinf a failure to her. He is afraid of letting her down.

He sets the Dr. pepper down and looks at her like a puppy looking at oncoming traffic in the middle of the night.

TIM
I...I...want...to...

JILL
I know...

She strokes her legs agaisnt his as she leans into him and takes, a kiss. Then a second. Then a third. Then nothing defined. She is presses into him, kissing him, her halds up and down her sides like formula 1 racers. He wants it. He is into it.. He kisses her. He presses up into her. He freaks out. He kisses her. He pulls back. He kisses her. He grasps her. He pulls away. He kisses her.

TIM
I don't...

JILL
You don't what?

TIM
I want...

JILL
You want...me?

TIM
I don't...know...I...

They kiss. They rub. Tim pulls away and savagely attacks his Dr. Pepper then stands up.

TIM
I have to get home! My dad will freak the fuck out!

JILL
Even if we say good night and stay together?

TIM
Especially if that! Especially if that!

JILL
So what? Not like they care about anything else.

She makes a grab that would secure her intentions. Tim demures.

JILL
You care about things. You care about me.

TIM
I care about you.

JILL
You want to kiss me.

TIM
Of course I want to kiss ou!

JILL
Why aren't you kissing me?

TIM Because! I'm supposed to be kissing you! Why should I be kissing you when I'm supposed to be kissing you? Just kiss me when you feel like you need ot be kissing me.

SHE kisses him.

He kisses her.


He has to stop kissing her or he's going to be doing a lot more than kiss her.

TIM
I can't just kiss you!

JILL
Why?

TIM
Because I want to do a lot more than kiss you.

JILL
So do a lot more than kiss me...

TIM
I can't do anything but kiss you.

JILL
So do more than kiss me...

TIM
All I can do is kiss you...

JILL
So just kiss me. Just keep kissing me.

Beat

JILL (cont'd)
All you ever do is kiss you.

TIM
I told you I can't more than kiss you.

JILL
Why not?

He gropes her. He grasps her,. He fiddles with her nipples.

TIM
Because I can't control myself.

JILL
I don't want you to control yourself

TIM
I want to control myself. I need to control myself.

JILL
Why do you have to control yourself?

TIM
Because I don't want to not control a part of myself.

JILL
A pat of yourself wants to stick your tongue up into my cant-control-myselves,

TIM
I can't control what I want to not control myself to do. All IO can do is...

JILL
All you can do is pretend you didn't want it to happen.

TIM
I don't consciously. That's what matters.

JILL
You never put out. There's nothing to get excited about. Don't over-rate yourself.

TIM
Not you just make me feel sad,

JILL
Nobody said you were supposed to be happy.