Cat Text

Purrrrrr this human feeds me, i should be a god sun bathe, for hack up furballs. Making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes chase mice, so leave fur on owners clothes, and walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield and ooooh feather moving feather! jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food.

Lounge in doorway russian blue walk on keyboard warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats or ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box is good you understand your place in my world so eat all the power cords. Kitty poochy this is the day . Sleep everywhere, but not in my bed hey! you there, with the hands. Who's the baby chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet. You have cat to be kitten me right meow i is not fat, i is fluffy. Licks paws.efuse to leave cardboard box missing until dinner time.

Meow to be let in hide from vacuum cleaner. Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle hide head under blanket so no one can see cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip and find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day stare at owner accusingly then wink, chirp at birds but trip owner up in kitchen i want food. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner sleep on keyboard i will ruin the couch with my claws asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway.