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- It'd be great if the tiny ponies were dumber or at least talked using simpler vocabulary and sentence structure, caveman style.
- @#!
- >"Twilight want cuddle!"
- >"Alright Twi hold on a second, let me finish buying these apples and we can go home an--"
- >"No! Cuddle now!"
- >You let out a long sigh before bending over and scooping her up with your right arm, carrying her like a baby.
- >Twilight coos and nuzzles her face into you, letting out a small "mmm... cuddles"
- >Applejack, the mare selling you the things these ponies call apples but people would call berries, frowns when she sees this display.
- >She huffs and snorts once, pawing at the ground.
- >"Apples cuddles!"
- >"...what?"
- >"Cuddles apples!"
- >You stare in bewilderment at the tiny crazy thing.
- >She stares back, eyes gleaming in premonition of tears.
- >She takes the bits you gave her out of the register and shoves them across the counter, and then pulls the basket of apple-berries from your side to hers.
- >"...uh... I don't..."
- >It'd be a good idea to cut your losses before this gets out of hand.
- >You give a wave with your free hand and turn to leave, bidding farewell.
- >"No!"
- >Applejack leaps up on the counter and stands on her hind hooves, raising her forelegs into uppsies position.
- >"Applejack want cuddles! Cuddles for apples! Cuddles Apples!"
- >Ohhh.
- >You start to laugh, quickly suppressing it when you see that she's almost crying.
- >Aww, this poor pitiful thing.
- >You lean down to wrap an arm around her, but then a purple leg darts as fast as lighting and bonks AJ on the noggin.
- >It makes that hollow coconut sound.
- >"Applejack dumb, and //NOT// for Anon cuddles!"
- >What the fuck is going on.
- >Twilight gives you a small kiss on the manboob and speaks in a smug, haughty kind of a voice, looking down at AJ.
- >Both literally and figuratively.
- >"Actually, Anon for Twilight. Anon and Twilight, /married/ even. Prince and Princess."
- >You've never seen a thing look so satisfied and condescending as Twilight when she said the prince and princess bit.
- >She plants another kiss on your manboob before your mind comprehends her claims.
- >What in the entire world! Married?? You're nothing of the sort!
- >Applejack becomes immediately furious at Twilight's marriage claim and starts bucking at the air behind her.
- >"No marry! No marry! No Twilight! Anon appledaddy! Appledaddy an' AppleMommy! Applejack have Anon applebabies!!"
- >Before you can say anything to calm Applejack, you lose your balance.
- >Twilight levitates you off of the ground.
- >In response, Applejack leaps off the counter to jump onto you, but Twilight raises you just out of her reach.
- >Applejack neighs in fury as her hooves just barely can't grip you, and then she hits the floor, tumbling into a nearby cart.
- >Twilight blows a loud long raspberry.
- >Applejack begins to collect herself, recovering from both the dizziness of rolling and another head bonk.
- >Twilight sees this and the confidence drains from her face.
- >Maybe she didn't think AJ would be able to recover so speedily.
- >She starts hovering you and her in the direction of the treebrary.
- >It's not quite as impressive as it sounds, you're moving at the speed of a slow walk, just 3 feet above the ground.
- >Applejack whinnies and rears, she's really serious about this.
- >She catches up in a jiffy, of course.
- >AJ moves into leaping position, lowering her front and wiggling her behind.
- >She leaps, high enough to catch you.
- >Twilight just raises you out of reach again.
- >The only difference is that this time, Applejack lands on her hooves and tries again.
- >Each time she leaps Twilight just raises you just out of reach, then lowers you back down.
- >Your idly wonder for a moment about how apparently ponies can use magic to lift themselves.
- >What's the difference between that and flying?
- >What a stupid universe.
- @#!
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