Rata S Thompson #4

>A frazzled looking Rata with a cigarette holder in her mouth stumbles into view. She looks into the camera as she lilts back and forth. The pair of sunglasses she's wearing fall off of her face as she takes a microphone from an extended hand. Her pupils are so large that you can't tell what color her eyes are. With a single pull of the cigarette holder, the dodgy looking "cigarette" it holds burns completely into ash. She stares into the camera for half a minute, before releasing a heavy puff of smoke.

>"Despite being known for its fun family friendly atmosphere, tragedy has struck where least expected. This year's annual Ass-alapian Wet Bloomer Contest and Antiques Exchange has experienced the sort of casualty that normally only happens in opium dens and libraries. Thankfully only a single human adventurer was killed, unfortunately his mamono companions aren't taking it too well."

>The Rata looks behind her and the camera follows. Yelling and the sounds of very loud sobbing can be heard. A succubus in black armor is beating the crap out of a handful of guards, while a danuki scrabbles unsteadily atop a pile of antiquities. Both are wearing soaking wet bloomers over their clothing, which looks especially odd on the fully armored knight.

>The tanuki wails to the sky as the chaos continues around her. She sobs and waves a pair of large metallic looking bloomers around as the black clad knight continues to beat the crap out of the guards. The knight fights as fiercely as ever, all the while wailing out a long profanity filled stream of depraved sexual acts she wanted to do with the deceased.

>"The rampage is expected to continue for the next hour or so." says the Rata, before turning up a ceramic gallon jug and taking several gulps. The are three Xs on the side of the container. After lowering the jug, the Rata glances back at the still ongoing melee. She winces at hearing a very colorful and impractical sexual act yelled by the knight in her grief.

>"Poor bastard. Obviously he'd be just as dead, if she'd gotten to 8th base with him. But at least then he would've died happy. That's how I want to go. Labyrinthine and possibly fatal sex." mutters the Rata, before chugging once more from the large jug.