Natale a 5 stelle (2018) EN

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INDOXXI
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This film is purely fictitious,
fruit of the writers' imagination.

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Any reference, even indirect, to actual
people is not meant to be factual

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but merely a portrayal
of purely fictitious facts and events.

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A NETFLIX ORIGINAL FILM

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5 STAR CHRISTMAS

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DEDICATED TO CARLO VANZINA

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MERRY CHRISTMAS

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ROME

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- Good morning, Mr. President.
- Good morning.

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Good morning. Good morning.

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00:03:01,338 --> 00:03:03,088
- Pinna.
- Morning, Mr. President.

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Good morning, everyone.

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Good morning, good morning.
Good morning.

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00:03:07,422 --> 00:03:09,380
- Hello.
- Morning, Mr. President.

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00:03:09,588 --> 00:03:11,463
- Bianchini.
- Morning, Mr. President.

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00:03:11,755 --> 00:03:15,588
Mr. President, something to drink?
Whiskey, champagne?

17
00:03:15,838 --> 00:03:18,672
Thanks, but I need to remain sober.

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I wouldn't mind a sip of prosecco.

19
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Prosecco, my foot.
We need to remain sober.

20
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You're right. Never mind.

21
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:32,047
See that hostess? Polite, refined,
nice eyes. and a nice...

22
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:33,797
Sober, Mr. President.

23
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,297
A nice attitude, Bianchini!

24
00:03:36,588 --> 00:03:39,297
How dare you make assumptions!

25
00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,172
You're right.

26
00:03:47,338 --> 00:03:49,505
Here's our 3-day schedule in Budapest.

27
00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:51,338
This brick for 3-days?

28
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:54,255
Miss being the opposition party now?

29
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I don't get it, with all the issues
we have in Italy,

30
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why waste time on a bilateral meeting
in Budapest

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on Christmas week?!

32
00:04:04,297 --> 00:04:07,630
By the way, Bianchini,
you're in charge of gifts.

33
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:13,255
Buy things that are useful or classy.
Nothing tacky, please.

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Does this whole herd have to come with us?

35
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So much for the spending review!

36
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Who are they?

37
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The federations of Industry,
Enterprises, Artisans, and Farmers.

38
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The opposition party's here, too,
why are they coming?

39
00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:36,005
Mr. President, you have a rather
democratic idea of pluralism.

40
00:04:37,297 --> 00:04:40,588
Senator Rossi, sorry,
I didn't know you were here.

41
00:04:40,922 --> 00:04:43,588
Without those traitorous
northern separatists,

42
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you'd barely have the Senate majority.

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With all due respect,

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the opposition party
represents millions of citizens,

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or rather, the people!

46
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Enough with the word "citizens",

47
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the French Revolution is over!

48
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In any case, Senator Rossi,
you shouldn't complain, you lost votes

49
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:06,922
because you campaigned for a leader
who's full of baloney. Shame on you!

50
00:05:07,213 --> 00:05:10,547
Shame on you!
Promising basic income without the funds.

51
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By the way, take a look
at this morning's polls... you'll see.

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Bianchini...

53
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- Are we dropping?
- Dropping? We're plummeting...

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for now.

55
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According to polls, we'll drop 7-8 points
in the next few weeks.

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- We should give up.
- Keep your opinions to yourself.

57
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You seem to be enjoying
our approval drop.

58
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Never!
I'm with you, truly faithful.

59
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So now you're faithful?

60
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"Truly faithful," my foot.
You're a flip-flopper!

61
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- You were a democrat.
- So were you.

62
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No, I was not a democrat,
I was a progressive.

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You jumped ship to be with the winners.

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And remember this,

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if this government flops,
you'll go back to your old life.

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Remember?

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A town clerk
in the boondocks of Guidonia.

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Before becoming Prime Minister
you were nobody, too.

69
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Hush! I got my start in politics in Rome
thanks to...

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Never mind.

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Listen, you won the online elections
with 124 votes.

72
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124 votes! That's incredible!

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Pure luck, don't you forget.

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- Pure luck for us both.
- How so?

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You went from bookkeeper
to Prime Minister.

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- It's mom.
- Mom?

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Mom!

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You can't use your work phone
for private calls.

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- But mom just broke her femur.
- Who cares!

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The millions of citizens
who voted for us don't care either.

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00:06:54,255 --> 00:06:56,672
But she's old, ill, and needy...

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Don't forget that lawfulness
is one of our pillars.

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That's yours, President.

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It's work!

85
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Hello?

86
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Sure, I can talk.
It's Luigi Di Maio.

87
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Yes?

88
00:07:22,713 --> 00:07:25,047
There are some issues
with Matteo Salvini?

89
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:26,797
Tension?

90
00:07:27,338 --> 00:07:31,797
But how can I now? I'm heading
to Budapest, we're taking off now.

91
00:07:32,547 --> 00:07:34,630
- Liar.
- No, don't worry,

92
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I'll handle it.

93
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I "gots" it covered!

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I wasn't mocking you,
it was just a joke. Bye.

95
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In 1873, the city of Buda
merged with the city of...

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Pest!

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To create Budapest

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where about two million people now live.

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Excuse me.

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Work.
Matteo? I'm all ears, what is it?

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00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,922
I know, there's tension
with Luigi Di Maio.

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I'll call him.

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00:08:30,005 --> 00:08:32,922
No, don't worry, I'll placate him.

104
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This government's a nuthouse.

105
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Is it that hard to open a door?

106
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,088
- Welcome, Mr. President.
- Thank you.

107
00:09:13,213 --> 00:09:15,172
I'm Alberto Fracassi-Torre Rossano.

108
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Torre Rossano's in the Marches?

109
00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:20,172
It's his last name.
He's our ambassador.

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Nice to meet you.
I've heard great things about you.

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- I'm honored.
- So tan!

112
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Just came from the mountains.

113
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As representative of the Hungarian
government, here's Ferenc Szabo,

114
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- Foreign Affairs Undersecretary.
- Undersecretary?

115
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Why didn't the minister come?

116
00:09:36,297 --> 00:09:38,588
Mr. President,
it's the week of Christmas.

117
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To be honest,

118
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due to shared ideas,
they would've preferred Salvini.

119
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Let's go.

120
00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:48,588
Chop...

121
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- Dear President, welcome in Hungary.
- Unlike Matteo Renzi, I understand.

122
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Thanks, Undersecretary.

123
00:10:07,963 --> 00:10:10,088
Didn't you go to Harvard?

124
00:10:10,297 --> 00:10:11,963
That's what your resume said.

125
00:10:12,255 --> 00:10:15,463
The boondocks.
I'll ship you back to the boondocks!

126
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,422
- Franco Rispoli.
- No, no. He's the gardener.

127
00:10:24,963 --> 00:10:27,255
Who?
The gardener.

128
00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:30,713
The gardener's still a citizen.

129
00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:34,922
The ancient Magyar school of gardening
is esteemed.

130
00:10:35,630 --> 00:10:38,380
- How long will this take?
- Thirty minutes.

131
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,130
I'm dying to go
take a shower at the hotel.

132
00:10:41,255 --> 00:10:42,505
Me, too.

133
00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:46,630
We're in different hotels,
I'm in Buda and you're in Pest.

134
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- Is there a difference?
- The Danube separates us.

135
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You and doors don't get along, Pinna!

136
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,422
Look how nice!

137
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:16,172
Is that him?

138
00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:17,880
It is!

139
00:11:18,047 --> 00:11:20,505
Can I take a selfie with you?

140
00:11:20,672 --> 00:11:23,922
Of course, you'll get heaps of likes
when you post it.

141
00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:26,797
- Rocco, can I take a selfie with you?
- Sure.

142
00:11:27,088 --> 00:11:29,463
- Me in the middle!
- Women in the middle!

143
00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:30,922
Thanks, Rocco.

144
00:11:33,297 --> 00:11:34,838
- Thanks, bye.
- Bye.

145
00:11:34,922 --> 00:11:37,213
- He touched my butt!
- Rocco? Awesome!

146
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,380
- Who's that?
- Rocco Siffredi.

147
00:11:39,588 --> 00:11:41,630
- Right.
- Rocco Siffredi...

148
00:11:41,922 --> 00:11:44,547
He married a Hungarian
and lives in Budapest now.

149
00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:49,422
That Rocco Siffredi sure keeps
the Italian flag flying high.

150
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,463
Indeed, very high and upright!

151
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:58,838
He's a huge asset for Italy,
a very huge asset. Enormous!

152
00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:11,922
Mr. President,
I'm the hotel manager.

153
00:12:12,672 --> 00:12:17,505
Your prestigious presence is an honor
for our historic Grand Hotel.

154
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,088
The honor is all mine.

155
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:23,672
Other noteworthy guests we've had:
Emperor Franz Joseph,

156
00:12:24,422 --> 00:12:27,505
Kaiser Wilhelm, Prince of Wales,

157
00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:31,172
President Macron with his wife Brigitte,

158
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and more recently,
Paolo Gentiloni from Italy.

159
00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:41,380
He's at 19 percent now... Anyway,
I hope you've given me the best room.

160
00:12:41,797 --> 00:12:43,297
Yes, the Imperial Suite.

161
00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:45,880
Macron and Brigitte's?

162
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:49,088
Indeed. Top floor
with a view of the Danube.

163
00:12:49,588 --> 00:12:54,172
The great Italians Pupo
and Toto Cutugno also stayed there.

164
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:59,713
Like Rocco Siffredi,
they keep the Italian flag flying high.

165
00:12:59,797 --> 00:13:02,005
Rocco Siffredi keeps it higher!

166
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:04,422
Okay, Rocco is Rocco.

167
00:13:04,838 --> 00:13:06,963
As for security,

168
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:10,588
if you need anything
just speak to Brigadier...

169
00:13:11,297 --> 00:13:12,297
Pinna?

170
00:13:12,463 --> 00:13:15,047
Brigadier Pinna, my bodyguard, all right?

171
00:13:15,338 --> 00:13:17,047
No worries, sir.

172
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:21,172
For you we'll create
an impassable wall of security.

173
00:13:22,047 --> 00:13:25,422
Thanks, we may be
in a coalition together,

174
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,463
but I'm no separatist, no wall needed.

175
00:13:27,588 --> 00:13:29,672
No Budapest wall in the hotel...

176
00:13:29,922 --> 00:13:33,588
Just don't post a guard
outside of my door, please.

177
00:13:33,755 --> 00:13:36,255
Maybe just discreet security
at the elevators.

178
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:38,422
You have a private elevator.

179
00:13:38,547 --> 00:13:40,880
Good, I'm opposed to favoritism.

180
00:13:41,005 --> 00:13:43,422
I'm a regular citizen, too...

181
00:13:43,547 --> 00:13:45,588
- As you wish.
- Thanks.

182
00:13:50,838 --> 00:13:54,880
Pinna, you know
who's allowed up or not.

183
00:13:56,047 --> 00:13:58,047
I'm in your hands.

184
00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,672
Mr. President,
I'll show you to your suite.

185
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,213
I mean, Mr. Super President!

186
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,088
I love being Prime Minister!

187
00:14:36,713 --> 00:14:37,713
Mom?

188
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:40,088
Walter, what's going on?

189
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,713
Do phones not work in Hungary?

190
00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:46,797
I've been calling you for three hours.
I was losing my mind!

191
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,172
Because I'm working.

192
00:14:48,338 --> 00:14:52,588
I'm the Prime Minister's secretary,
I've got a lot on my mind.

193
00:14:52,713 --> 00:14:54,630
If you want to chat, call Aunt Lole.

194
00:14:54,963 --> 00:14:57,255
No way, she's such a whiner!

195
00:14:57,338 --> 00:15:01,088
"My head's spinning,
my blood pressure's spiking..."

196
00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:02,297
So what's up?

197
00:15:02,922 --> 00:15:04,838
Nothing...

198
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,505
It's just that I'm nearing 80,

199
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,588
I'm in a wheelchair
because I slipped and broke my femur.

200
00:15:12,838 --> 00:15:17,630
I'm stuck with an African tribeswoman
who can barely speak Italian.

201
00:15:17,755 --> 00:15:20,213
But apart from that, I'm fine.

202
00:15:20,422 --> 00:15:22,338
Just focus on your President.

203
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,213
Shame on you.
You were born a Communist!

204
00:15:26,338 --> 00:15:29,005
You went from Togliatti to Fico!

205
00:15:29,172 --> 00:15:32,047
And now you're with Salvini, shameful!

206
00:15:32,463 --> 00:15:35,172
Mom, how's the weather in Guidonia?

207
00:15:38,588 --> 00:15:40,255
Why me?

208
00:15:43,088 --> 00:15:44,172
Honey...

209
00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:48,005
you can't imagine how incredible
this Imperial Suite is!

210
00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:50,338
Wonderful.

211
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:51,963
The one they gave Macron.

212
00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:54,922
Seems only fair, right?

213
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:58,047
I'm really sorry you couldn't come.

214
00:15:58,172 --> 00:16:01,588
But my schedule is so packed,
three days of encounters.

215
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,213
We wouldn't have had
a minute alone, believe me.

216
00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:07,922
How are things at home?

217
00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:09,922
Good.

218
00:16:10,213 --> 00:16:11,838
Listen, honey...

219
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:17,547
I have to run, I'm meeting the head of the
Italian Cultural Institute.

220
00:16:17,630 --> 00:16:19,338
Right now. Gotta run.

221
00:16:20,005 --> 00:16:24,130
Bye, we'll talk later. Bye-bye.

222
00:16:25,922 --> 00:16:27,047
Done!

223
00:16:30,047 --> 00:16:32,297
Senator, you can come in.

224
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:35,088
- Senator...
- President?

225
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:36,797
Still dressed?

226
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,630
You sure know how to lie...

227
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:46,672
- And what did you tell your husband?
- I cooked up some lies, too.

228
00:16:49,047 --> 00:16:52,838
How amazing, three days alone
here in Budapest

229
00:16:52,922 --> 00:16:56,713
without guards, paparazzi,
snooping reporters.

230
00:16:56,838 --> 00:16:58,297
Without wives!

231
00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:01,213
And without your husband!
All alone.

232
00:17:01,505 --> 00:17:04,755
An amazing pre-Christmas
5-star weekend.

233
00:17:05,213 --> 00:17:08,088
Franco, are you sure
we're doing the right thing?

234
00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:11,213
The Prime Minister
with a Democratic Senator...

235
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,880
If Italians found out, we'd be doomed.

236
00:17:14,005 --> 00:17:17,338
Nobody at all will find out.

237
00:17:17,422 --> 00:17:20,338
We're in Hungary,
they don't care about Italians.

238
00:17:20,838 --> 00:17:23,672
There are no gossip reporters.

239
00:17:24,338 --> 00:17:28,088
Oh, God, go get undressed now!

240
00:17:33,338 --> 00:17:36,005
- Are you okay?
- Yes!

241
00:17:39,922 --> 00:17:42,505
- Need help?
- No, thanks.

242
00:17:43,005 --> 00:17:46,088
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

243
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:52,797
Coming.

244
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:09,047
Ta-da!

245
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,422
Oh, Lord!

246
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:15,505
Wow, you're a knockout!

247
00:18:15,755 --> 00:18:17,297
Thanks.

248
00:18:18,422 --> 00:18:19,630
Mr. President.

249
00:18:19,838 --> 00:18:22,297
Nonsense, thank you!

250
00:18:23,547 --> 00:18:26,005
- My love, thank you.
- Franco,

251
00:18:26,130 --> 00:18:29,047
you do know
what we're doing is disgraceful.

252
00:18:30,547 --> 00:18:33,547
I feel so uptight and nervous...

253
00:18:34,297 --> 00:18:37,255
I'm not used to these things.
This is my first time!

254
00:18:37,463 --> 00:18:39,213
- Mine too!
- Liar.

255
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,838
My first time with you.

256
00:18:41,047 --> 00:18:44,838
But we're so different,
politically, age-wise...

257
00:18:44,963 --> 00:18:47,547
I don't know why I'm doing this.

258
00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:51,422
You'd be my first Prime Minister!

259
00:18:52,547 --> 00:18:56,422
No, do not say "Prime Minister"!
Don't!

260
00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:59,880
Every time I hear that word,
I burst into flames inside.

261
00:19:01,005 --> 00:19:03,630
My husband's frigid, a block of ice.

262
00:19:04,130 --> 00:19:07,255
Why'd you marry
a northern separatist councilman

263
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,380
who's not even from the north,
but from Civitavecchia!

264
00:19:10,547 --> 00:19:14,088
Giulia, enough now! Enough!

265
00:19:14,505 --> 00:19:15,713
Take off...

266
00:19:17,672 --> 00:19:18,672
your glasses.

267
00:19:19,463 --> 00:19:21,088
Right away, sir.

268
00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:25,338
- Can you see?
- Yes, I have perfect vision.

269
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,630
The Party made me wear them

270
00:19:27,797 --> 00:19:29,797
so I look less hot and more brainy.

271
00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:32,755
Not a bad idea... No, no.

272
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,547
Put them back on.

273
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,422
I like you more with glasses. Come here.

274
00:19:38,838 --> 00:19:41,255
Let's go into the Imperial Suite!

275
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:44,213
They sure gave you a great place.

276
00:19:44,547 --> 00:19:47,213
We opposition party members
are in a tourist hotel.

277
00:19:47,547 --> 00:19:50,297
I am the Prime Minister, after all.

278
00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:53,005
- With a mere six vote Senate majority.
- Yes.

279
00:19:53,547 --> 00:19:55,380
But... Je suis le President.

280
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:02,963
I ordered oysters and champagne
to celebrate our first encounter.

281
00:20:03,213 --> 00:20:08,380
Aren't oysters and champagne
against your coalition's "world view"?

282
00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:10,963
Politically, yes,

283
00:20:11,088 --> 00:20:13,338
but this isn't a political encounter.

284
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,422
This is a romantic encounter.

285
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:18,463
Romantic.

286
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,880
Honey!

287
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,463
My husband didn't even order
oysters and champagne for our honeymoon.

288
00:20:24,963 --> 00:20:29,297
- Civitavecchia only has shrimps.
- We went to the spas in Montecatini.

289
00:20:29,588 --> 00:20:33,630
The interpreter told me
there are amazing spas here, too.

290
00:20:34,463 --> 00:20:36,838
Afterwards... we'll go.

291
00:20:37,047 --> 00:20:39,880
Budapest must be mind-blowing,
from up here.

292
00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:43,672
- Mind-blowing...
- Really lovely.

293
00:20:43,838 --> 00:20:45,088
- Want to see?
- Yes.

294
00:20:46,213 --> 00:20:48,047
Not there.

295
00:20:49,672 --> 00:20:51,797
Over here, the view's better here.

296
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,172
I can't believe
they put up scaffolding to do work,

297
00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:58,005
even if I'm in this suite now,
they could see me...

298
00:20:58,297 --> 00:20:59,297
And see me!

299
00:21:00,963 --> 00:21:03,088
- Idiots.
- Oh, my God!

300
00:21:03,547 --> 00:21:07,255
A killer view,
though it's not Montecatini, but...

301
00:21:07,547 --> 00:21:09,797
Franco, I'm feeling ill.

302
00:21:10,088 --> 00:21:11,755
Vertigo?

303
00:21:12,047 --> 00:21:13,422
Terrifying!

304
00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:15,463
We're on the fifth floor,

305
00:21:15,547 --> 00:21:18,755
but trust me, just keep looking up,

306
00:21:19,005 --> 00:21:20,172
never look... Oh, God!

307
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:22,713
- Who's that?
- Know him?

308
00:21:22,922 --> 00:21:24,630
Santa Claus? No.

309
00:21:24,755 --> 00:21:27,005
Oh, God! Oh, God!

310
00:21:27,588 --> 00:21:29,672
Hold on. Hold on.

311
00:21:34,797 --> 00:21:36,672
I don't know him.

312
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,713
- No heartbeat.
- Is he dead?

313
00:21:40,047 --> 00:21:41,713
Obviously.

314
00:21:42,005 --> 00:21:43,838
- Is he warm?
- Yes, he's still warm.

315
00:21:44,338 --> 00:21:46,672
- How creepy.
- He's dead.

316
00:21:47,213 --> 00:21:49,755
- Poor thing!
- Poor thing, my foot.

317
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,588
It's a thief dressed as Santa Claus
who was trying to break in.

318
00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:55,838
- You think?
- Obviously.

319
00:21:56,422 --> 00:21:59,297
He tried to get in,
but it seems the window

320
00:21:59,463 --> 00:22:02,213
came down like a guillotine
and slam!

321
00:22:02,797 --> 00:22:04,047
Must be defective.

322
00:22:04,755 --> 00:22:07,505
- No kidding?!
- Let's call the police.

323
00:22:07,588 --> 00:22:09,880
The police?
No way!

324
00:22:10,047 --> 00:22:11,130
What'll we say?

325
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:15,130
They'll see Democratic Senator Rossi
with the President.

326
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:18,797
There's only one elevator,
so if you leave they'll see you!

327
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:23,380
- But he's dead, Franco!
- You think the police will resurrect him?

328
00:22:23,588 --> 00:22:25,255
We can't ignore it.

329
00:22:25,338 --> 00:22:28,005
If not the police,
call the manager, then.

330
00:22:28,088 --> 00:22:31,005
Then he'll call the police.

331
00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:35,422
I'm only saying this out of concern
for you, believe me.

332
00:22:35,630 --> 00:22:37,463
You're not concerned about me.

333
00:22:37,755 --> 00:22:41,297
You're concerned about your wife,
the media, the polls, and your career.

334
00:22:41,630 --> 00:22:44,213
No... Yes.

335
00:22:44,380 --> 00:22:46,880
I can already picture the headlines:

336
00:22:47,172 --> 00:22:51,088
"Democratic Senator and President
have orgy with corpse"!

337
00:22:51,755 --> 00:22:53,838
Forget about Bunga Bunga!

338
00:22:54,547 --> 00:22:56,005
We have to tell someone.

339
00:22:57,630 --> 00:23:00,797
Yes, I must tell someone.

340
00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:03,630
I must tell someone...

341
00:23:04,505 --> 00:23:06,588
- I'll tell Walter!
- Veltroni?

342
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,547
Not Veltroni, Bianchini!

343
00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:13,922
Who's that? Your secretary?
What can he do?

344
00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:17,422
Bianchini does whatever I tell him to.

345
00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:37,047
Hungarian salami, good stuff!

346
00:23:37,963 --> 00:23:38,963
Good day!

347
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:44,963
Seventy euros.

348
00:23:48,672 --> 00:23:51,713
- Not enough.
- Not enough. How not enough?

349
00:23:54,838 --> 00:23:56,963
How much does this darn salami cost?

350
00:24:02,630 --> 00:24:06,797
I'll take a selfie for mom,
she loves markets.

351
00:24:07,005 --> 00:24:09,380
I'll send it and make her happy.

352
00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:11,922
Like this.

353
00:24:18,963 --> 00:24:20,422
That's Berta!

354
00:24:20,838 --> 00:24:21,838
Berta?

355
00:24:23,047 --> 00:24:24,047
Berta?

356
00:24:27,088 --> 00:24:30,338
Mr. Walter,
what are you doing in Budapest?

357
00:24:30,588 --> 00:24:33,047
I'm here for work
with an Italian delegation.

358
00:24:33,838 --> 00:24:36,213
Great to see you,
you moved back to Budapest?

359
00:24:36,797 --> 00:24:40,880
Yes, after your mom fired me
the recession started in Italy.

360
00:24:42,338 --> 00:24:45,338
I figured it was better to be broke
at home.

361
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,547
- Right.
- So I came back here.

362
00:24:49,005 --> 00:24:52,505
- I bet that's mom.
- No doubt. I'll mute it.

363
00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:56,505
- I remember how obsessive she was.
- Yes.

364
00:24:57,588 --> 00:25:01,463
When I was her helper:
"Berta, I want some chamomile."

365
00:25:01,547 --> 00:25:05,338
"Berta, I'm cold.
Berta, my cardigan."

366
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,922
Mr. Walter,
do you still live with your mom?

367
00:25:09,338 --> 00:25:11,838
It's my destiny,
how can I go live on my own?

368
00:25:12,588 --> 00:25:16,755
She has a Cameroonian helper now,
but she has a snowball's chance in hell.

369
00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:21,588
- She's relentless.
- Like a pit bull. She won't let go.

370
00:25:22,505 --> 00:25:25,547
Why don't you come to dinner
at my mom's tonight?

371
00:25:26,005 --> 00:25:29,588
- Another mother in Budapest?
- No, don't worry.

372
00:25:30,213 --> 00:25:32,338
My mom's democratic, you know.

373
00:25:33,213 --> 00:25:38,088
She's heard lots about you,
I'd love for you to come.

374
00:25:38,630 --> 00:25:41,297
- At 7:00?
- I have a work dinner...

375
00:25:41,588 --> 00:25:43,630
but maybe I can get out of it.

376
00:25:44,130 --> 00:25:45,172
Perfect.

377
00:25:45,547 --> 00:25:50,255
My address and number.
We'll make a special goulash for you.

378
00:25:50,672 --> 00:25:52,547
I'll call you, save my number.

379
00:25:52,713 --> 00:25:55,130
- Okay, later.
- See you.

380
00:25:58,088 --> 00:25:59,088
My salami!

381
00:26:08,297 --> 00:26:10,963
Six missed calls. Not from mom!

382
00:26:13,672 --> 00:26:14,713
Mr. President!

383
00:26:15,047 --> 00:26:17,672
Okay. Bianchini will be here soon.

384
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,963
Not exactly the seventh cavalry!

385
00:26:21,297 --> 00:26:22,797
Who's that?

386
00:26:24,130 --> 00:26:27,547
- Who's there?
- Room service for suite 648.

387
00:26:28,130 --> 00:26:29,672
Not now.

388
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,755
Oysters, caviar, champagne.

389
00:26:32,047 --> 00:26:33,880
Not now... come back later!

390
00:26:35,005 --> 00:26:36,005
Room service.

391
00:26:36,630 --> 00:26:40,047
Oh God. Go hide,
this guy won't go away.

392
00:26:40,338 --> 00:26:43,213
- Go.
- This is so wrong.

393
00:26:47,380 --> 00:26:48,422
Coming!

394
00:26:49,005 --> 00:26:50,255
Close that!

395
00:26:54,297 --> 00:26:56,380
Hello, Mr. President. Finally.

396
00:26:57,172 --> 00:26:59,463
A little bump.
It's all under control.

397
00:27:05,838 --> 00:27:07,922
- Are you Italian?
- From Naples.

398
00:27:08,380 --> 00:27:09,547
From Naples.

399
00:27:09,713 --> 00:27:11,755
I said bye to Italy
and those politicians.

400
00:27:12,338 --> 00:27:14,505
- Which politicians?
- Not you, the others.

401
00:27:15,547 --> 00:27:17,297
Because you all... You all...

402
00:27:17,713 --> 00:27:19,213
- We?
- Never mind.

403
00:27:19,755 --> 00:27:21,422
No, do tell.

404
00:27:21,588 --> 00:27:25,588
Thanks to the brain drain,
I came here.

405
00:27:26,838 --> 00:27:29,588
Good thing this isn't hot
or it'd be cold by now.

406
00:27:32,922 --> 00:27:34,588
Where shall I leave it?

407
00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:37,797
Right there.

408
00:27:42,588 --> 00:27:43,797
Hold on...

409
00:27:44,422 --> 00:27:46,672
Hello? Yes? Mr. Manager.

410
00:27:47,755 --> 00:27:50,922
A man on the scaffolding?
What? No such thing!

411
00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:53,672
There's no problem at all.

412
00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:57,922
Maybe it's another suite, not ours.
Where are you going?

413
00:27:58,088 --> 00:27:59,755
Where are you going?

414
00:27:59,838 --> 00:28:02,588
Yes, everything is fine, thanks.

415
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:03,880
Thanks again, thanks.

416
00:28:04,172 --> 00:28:07,297
- Maybe we should check.
- Everything is fine.

417
00:28:07,422 --> 00:28:09,797
As you wish, sir.
Will you sign, please?

418
00:28:10,338 --> 00:28:12,047
- Why?
- Oysters and champagne.

419
00:28:13,005 --> 00:28:16,463
- Isn't it all included?
- I do as my manager says.

420
00:28:18,380 --> 00:28:20,797
Hold this for a second.

421
00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:30,755
Did Macron pay for his own incidentals?

422
00:28:32,213 --> 00:28:33,255
No.

423
00:28:37,130 --> 00:28:39,505
I'll talk to the manager, thanks.

424
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,505
- You're welcome.
- Thanks.

425
00:28:45,088 --> 00:28:49,672
Things were different when I delivered
food to Pupo and Toto Cutugno...

426
00:28:50,088 --> 00:28:51,922
Right.

427
00:28:55,338 --> 00:28:57,380
What's right is right.

428
00:29:03,755 --> 00:29:07,172
- When shall I come get the cart?
- I'll call for you.

429
00:29:07,588 --> 00:29:09,547
- I'll be waiting, Mr. President.
- Okay.

430
00:29:15,547 --> 00:29:17,338
What are you doing, Franco?

431
00:29:17,505 --> 00:29:19,505
What do you think?
Dancing with the Stars?

432
00:29:19,588 --> 00:29:22,255
Give me a hand,
we'll put him in the closet.

433
00:29:24,547 --> 00:29:25,547
Oh, God!

434
00:29:26,463 --> 00:29:29,547
See how it happened?
The window fell and... slam!

435
00:29:29,963 --> 00:29:32,713
A corpse must not be moved
from where it died.

436
00:29:32,838 --> 00:29:35,130
The corpse couldn't care less.

437
00:29:35,213 --> 00:29:36,963
You're doing something awful.

438
00:29:37,713 --> 00:29:40,297
We're doing... Come on!

439
00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:44,213
- This is what they do in films.
- But this isn't a film.

440
00:29:44,463 --> 00:29:46,172
- Really?
- Really!

441
00:29:46,338 --> 00:29:48,963
Okay, pull him up.

442
00:29:52,422 --> 00:29:54,380
Wait. Wait...

443
00:29:54,838 --> 00:29:57,422
I have an idea, hold him.

444
00:29:59,338 --> 00:30:01,172
Lift him up. Lift him up.

445
00:30:01,588 --> 00:30:05,630
- How?
- Like this. This is perfect.

446
00:30:05,797 --> 00:30:07,338
You can go, it's done. Come on.

447
00:30:07,797 --> 00:30:08,797
There.

448
00:30:11,047 --> 00:30:14,005
Now get dressed and go to your hotel.

449
00:30:14,297 --> 00:30:18,005
- Where's my dress?
- I was holding it...

450
00:30:20,047 --> 00:30:21,338
Oh, God!

451
00:30:21,713 --> 00:30:24,547
I gave it to the waiter,
he took it with him.

452
00:30:25,088 --> 00:30:27,713
- I can't believe it.
- Damn it!

453
00:30:28,422 --> 00:30:31,047
- Who is it?
- The manager, open up!

454
00:30:31,213 --> 00:30:33,672
Hide in there.

455
00:30:35,005 --> 00:30:36,005
Coming!

456
00:30:36,130 --> 00:30:39,463
This isn't just wrong,
it's a real fuck-up!

457
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:41,963
Coming!

458
00:30:47,630 --> 00:30:50,922
- Sorry, this is rather serious.
- I bet.

459
00:30:51,422 --> 00:30:53,005
The guest next door

460
00:30:53,297 --> 00:30:57,505
saw a man kneeling down
and peeking through your window.

461
00:30:58,838 --> 00:31:00,463
Must be a liar.

462
00:31:01,463 --> 00:31:02,588
He's no liar.

463
00:31:03,338 --> 00:31:05,838
He's Hungary's skeet shooting champion.

464
00:31:09,547 --> 00:31:11,755
He's eagle-eyed.

465
00:31:12,338 --> 00:31:14,672
He saw a man motionless,
peeking inside.

466
00:31:15,130 --> 00:31:17,380
- A peeping Tom?
- Or a thief.

467
00:31:18,130 --> 00:31:19,838
He must've climbed the scaffolding.

468
00:31:20,047 --> 00:31:23,463
It encircles the whole suite.
We should check the bedroom.

469
00:31:25,755 --> 00:31:28,630
I just came from the bedroom,
no need to check.

470
00:31:28,713 --> 00:31:33,255
I must. I'm responsible
for your safety in this hotel.

471
00:31:33,422 --> 00:31:36,880
No, Brigadier Pinna is responsible
for my safety.

472
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,588
I assume you spoke to him.

473
00:31:39,255 --> 00:31:41,380
- I couldn't find him.
- What?

474
00:31:42,672 --> 00:31:45,422
Fine, if you must check...

475
00:31:45,588 --> 00:31:49,797
The manager must check the bedroom,
fair enough.

476
00:31:49,922 --> 00:31:53,047
I suppose you'll check
the scaffolding, too, now?

477
00:31:53,172 --> 00:31:55,088
- Absolutely.
- Go ahead.

478
00:31:55,297 --> 00:31:56,880
- May I?
- Sure.

479
00:31:57,588 --> 00:31:58,588
Oh, God.

480
00:31:59,672 --> 00:32:00,797
The dress...

481
00:32:01,255 --> 00:32:03,422
- I'm here...
- Bianchini, hush.

482
00:32:04,547 --> 00:32:08,213
Listen, I'm going to say something
I will never repeat again.

483
00:32:08,547 --> 00:32:13,088
Something awful happened in this suite,
the body's in the closet.

484
00:32:13,797 --> 00:32:16,297
- The body?
- Hush, let me finish.

485
00:32:16,838 --> 00:32:19,047
You'll have to find it later, not now.

486
00:32:19,547 --> 00:32:21,380
What do you mean, "body"?

487
00:32:21,672 --> 00:32:25,713
When you find it, I'll be meeting
with the Hungarian president,

488
00:32:25,838 --> 00:32:27,838
- and she'll be gone.
- She?

489
00:32:28,005 --> 00:32:29,588
Yes, she!

490
00:32:30,547 --> 00:32:33,547
- I don't understand, I'll...
- No, stay here.

491
00:32:33,922 --> 00:32:35,547
When the manager comes in,

492
00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:40,255
pretend that whatever I told you
didn't happen, okay?

493
00:32:40,505 --> 00:32:43,130
- All the better.
- What's that?

494
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:44,672
- Salami for you.
- Salami?

495
00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:48,172
- The Christmas gifts.
- Put them in the fridge.

496
00:32:48,422 --> 00:32:51,797
- I paid 20 euros out of pocket.
- Now's not the time...

497
00:32:53,130 --> 00:32:55,088
Listen up.

498
00:32:55,713 --> 00:32:59,213
Make sure to agree with
everything I say, got it?

499
00:32:59,505 --> 00:33:02,505
- As always.
- No, even more.

500
00:33:02,588 --> 00:33:06,005
We have to...
Pretend like you're smart.

501
00:33:07,213 --> 00:33:08,963
Never mind, nod.
Just nod.

502
00:33:09,130 --> 00:33:10,422
Nod. Just nod.

503
00:33:16,047 --> 00:33:17,588
You're right, sir,

504
00:33:18,047 --> 00:33:20,713
I checked the scaffolding
and nobody's there.

505
00:33:21,255 --> 00:33:26,047
I told you! I'd like you to meet
my secretary, Walter Bianchini.

506
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:31,922
Walter works for me 24 hours a day,
but he's in a hotel far away.

507
00:33:32,047 --> 00:33:33,422
We're in Buda, he's in Pest.

508
00:33:34,047 --> 00:33:40,005
Could you find him a small room
on this floor? I'd appreciate it greatly.

509
00:33:40,505 --> 00:33:41,672
232...

510
00:33:42,213 --> 00:33:43,380
650 should be fine.

511
00:33:45,963 --> 00:33:49,463
Mr. President, I'll see what I can do
for Mr. Bianchini.

512
00:33:50,463 --> 00:33:53,672
And I will alert security
regarding the intruder.

513
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,463
No need! As you saw, there's nobody here.

514
00:33:57,963 --> 00:34:01,297
Also, it would be bad publicity
for the hotel, understand?

515
00:34:01,630 --> 00:34:03,672
Indeed, you're right.

516
00:34:04,422 --> 00:34:08,213
The less we talk about it,
the sooner it'll be forgotten.

517
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:12,088
Great. Bianchini,
you must treasure these words.

518
00:34:12,338 --> 00:34:13,755
Excuse me.

519
00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:27,713
- Did I nod well?
- Yes. Stellar performance.

520
00:34:27,797 --> 00:34:30,588
Thanks.
Now will you explain what's going on?

521
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:35,380
What's going on is you'll spend
three days in a five-star hotel.

522
00:34:36,380 --> 00:34:37,380
He's gone?

523
00:34:37,838 --> 00:34:39,463
- Hello, Bianchini.
- Senator.

524
00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:42,922
You do realize that
I'm putting myself in your hands.

525
00:34:43,297 --> 00:34:44,172
I wish!

526
00:34:44,255 --> 00:34:47,172
If word gets out,
I would be royally screwed.

527
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,713
- So would he.
- That's why we called you, Bianchini,

528
00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:52,797
a truly faithful servant.

529
00:34:53,130 --> 00:34:55,255
Can this truly faithful servant
have a word?

530
00:34:55,630 --> 00:34:56,797
Certainly.

531
00:34:57,547 --> 00:35:01,255
How could you?
With Senator Rossi of the opposition?!

532
00:35:02,088 --> 00:35:04,130
- Just look at her.
- True.

533
00:35:04,338 --> 00:35:08,463
But that's not the issue,
we need to find her dress now.

534
00:35:08,838 --> 00:35:10,547
- Where is it?
- The waiter took it.

535
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,713
Of course, silly me.

536
00:35:12,922 --> 00:35:15,005
- He knows about the corpse?
- Yes.

537
00:35:15,130 --> 00:35:17,838
There is a corpse?
You lied to me.

538
00:35:18,088 --> 00:35:20,922
No, I lied to the manager
about the thief,

539
00:35:21,047 --> 00:35:24,005
but I told you about the body,
which is in the closet.

540
00:35:24,380 --> 00:35:25,630
The thief's body?

541
00:35:26,505 --> 00:35:29,755
- Did you kill him?
- No, the window did.

542
00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:32,213
Slam... and he died!

543
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:35,297
- How did he get in there?
- I moved him.

544
00:35:35,588 --> 00:35:37,422
You should never move a corpse.

545
00:35:37,755 --> 00:35:40,005
I told him it was a serious crime.

546
00:35:40,338 --> 00:35:44,755
You have no right to preach,
you rigged votes in Basilicata.

547
00:35:45,005 --> 00:35:48,255
- In Molise.
- Molise, Basilicata... same thing.

548
00:35:48,463 --> 00:35:50,338
A corpse is worse than vote rigging.

549
00:35:50,463 --> 00:35:54,047
Fine, whatever,
are you truly faithful or not?

550
00:35:54,422 --> 00:35:55,505
- Should I nod?
- Nod.

551
00:35:56,797 --> 00:36:00,005
Go back into the room
while Bianchini and I find a solution.

552
00:36:00,672 --> 00:36:03,713
- Hope so.
- Giulia? This is guy stuff.

553
00:36:07,672 --> 00:36:10,005
- Quit staring!
- Did you call the police?

554
00:36:11,297 --> 00:36:13,963
Why would I call you
if I'd called the police?

555
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:17,255
At times, you really are a dumbass.

556
00:36:17,547 --> 00:36:20,963
You want my help
but deep down, you despise me.

557
00:36:21,213 --> 00:36:25,422
- Then I'll go.
- No! Don't be hasty.

558
00:36:26,588 --> 00:36:27,630
Listen,

559
00:36:28,297 --> 00:36:31,380
if my wife finds out
I was in a hotel in Budapest

560
00:36:31,547 --> 00:36:34,630
with Senator Rossi,
she'll rearrange my face, understand?

561
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,213
You can't understand
because you're not married.

562
00:36:37,422 --> 00:36:39,172
If I were married, I'd be faithful.

563
00:36:40,005 --> 00:36:43,255
Also, if I were Prime Minister
I wouldn't sleep with the opposition.

564
00:36:43,838 --> 00:36:46,172
Luckily, you're not the Prime Minister.

565
00:36:46,297 --> 00:36:47,838
The truth is...

566
00:36:48,672 --> 00:36:51,963
I didn't do anything with her,
I wasn't able to...

567
00:36:52,588 --> 00:36:56,047
But you must help me.
We must find a solution.

568
00:36:56,130 --> 00:36:59,463
- We?
- No, you must find a solution.

569
00:36:59,672 --> 00:37:02,505
- For what?
- Moving the corpse.

570
00:37:02,838 --> 00:37:06,755
When the manager comes back
with your room key,

571
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,422
we'll move the corpse
into your room,

572
00:37:10,588 --> 00:37:13,088
place it outside of the window,
close the curtains,

573
00:37:13,297 --> 00:37:15,838
and then tonight,
you will "find" the body.

574
00:37:16,338 --> 00:37:18,380
- I'm leaving.
- No!

575
00:37:19,047 --> 00:37:21,088
Put yourself in Giulia's shoes.

576
00:37:21,297 --> 00:37:24,297
If word gets out, she'll be expelled
from the Democratic party.

577
00:37:24,630 --> 00:37:28,505
- And you'll have to resign.
- And you'll go back to the boondocks.

578
00:37:29,380 --> 00:37:31,797
- The body's in the closet?
- On a hanger.

579
00:37:31,922 --> 00:37:33,672
So it won't get wrinkled.

580
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:36,547
Bianchini!

581
00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:40,380
- He fell!
- Oh my God, terrifying!

582
00:37:40,963 --> 00:37:42,838
But his Santa Claus costume
is cheery.

583
00:37:42,963 --> 00:37:45,422
- Right?
- It's less creepy.

584
00:37:45,505 --> 00:37:47,047
We'll pull this off.

585
00:37:48,255 --> 00:37:49,963
- Get inside!
- Fuck!

586
00:37:52,172 --> 00:37:53,630
Mr. President.

587
00:37:54,213 --> 00:37:58,547
I found a room for Mr. Bianchini
right next door.

588
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,422
Room 650.
Can I leave the key with you?

589
00:38:01,797 --> 00:38:03,547
Wonderful.

590
00:38:03,755 --> 00:38:06,088
Did Walter find a solution?

591
00:38:08,672 --> 00:38:11,297
Have you met Mrs. Bianchini?

592
00:38:11,463 --> 00:38:13,005
Son of a...

593
00:38:15,338 --> 00:38:17,755
- Hello.
- Mrs. Bianchini?

594
00:38:18,047 --> 00:38:22,255
I forgot to mention that Mrs. Bianchini
will stay with her husband.

595
00:38:22,755 --> 00:38:24,297
Right, Mrs. Bianchini?

596
00:38:24,422 --> 00:38:26,338
So I'll stay here instead of my hotel?

597
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,297
You're on your honeymoon, after all...

598
00:38:29,380 --> 00:38:31,672
Why split you up?
You have to sleep together.

599
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:37,588
With someone like Mrs. Bianchini,
I'd never fall asleep.

600
00:38:39,088 --> 00:38:40,713
You rascal!

601
00:38:41,338 --> 00:38:45,172
With a bombshell like this,
nobody could fall asleep!

602
00:38:45,672 --> 00:38:48,463
Thanks, sir, but I need my dress now.

603
00:38:50,088 --> 00:38:53,588
You see, Mrs. Bianchini
was taking a shower before

604
00:38:54,755 --> 00:38:58,505
and your waiter, the Neapolitan...

605
00:38:59,422 --> 00:39:01,005
- Pasquale.
- Yes,

606
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,088
...accidentally took her dress.

607
00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:05,047
I'll find him.

608
00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:07,630
Goodbye.

609
00:39:19,338 --> 00:39:22,505
- Mrs. Bianchini?
- I didn't know what to say!

610
00:39:22,672 --> 00:39:24,463
The coast is clear.

611
00:39:25,463 --> 00:39:27,547
Back off, Santa.

612
00:39:28,255 --> 00:39:31,047
Mr. President,
I strongly object to all of this.

613
00:39:31,255 --> 00:39:33,547
- I second that!
- Objection overruled.

614
00:39:33,963 --> 00:39:37,338
Now go into room 650,
open the window,

615
00:39:37,588 --> 00:39:40,130
and come back here via the scaffolding.

616
00:39:40,213 --> 00:39:42,047
- I'm afraid of heights.
- Who cares!

617
00:39:42,547 --> 00:39:45,588
I have to call my mom first,
she already called five times.

618
00:39:45,713 --> 00:39:48,963
- Enough with your mom!
- She's my mom...

619
00:39:49,463 --> 00:39:53,297
You can talk to your mom
after you find the body.

620
00:39:54,172 --> 00:39:56,880
- Room service.
- I'm not getting it.

621
00:39:57,713 --> 00:40:00,047
- Must be my dress.
- Wait!

622
00:40:02,963 --> 00:40:05,172
Sweet Lord.
Is this the wrong room?

623
00:40:05,297 --> 00:40:08,338
- No, it's right.
- Well done, President.

624
00:40:08,797 --> 00:40:11,838
Now I know why you ordered
oysters and champagne!

625
00:40:12,088 --> 00:40:13,755
You know nothing!

626
00:40:14,005 --> 00:40:18,463
They got married this morning
so I ordered it to celebrate.

627
00:40:18,588 --> 00:40:20,130
Congrats!

628
00:40:20,422 --> 00:40:25,255
The Bianchinis, my friends who will now
be staying in room 650.

629
00:40:25,630 --> 00:40:28,130
Now that you know everything,
you can go.

630
00:40:31,838 --> 00:40:34,172
- More?
- For the bride's dress.

631
00:40:34,297 --> 00:40:37,797
Why the rush to get it back?
Aren't you on your honeymoon?

632
00:40:38,338 --> 00:40:40,422
At times, your bullshit is funny.

633
00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:45,047
Thanks, President, at your service.
Call me as much as you want.

634
00:40:45,463 --> 00:40:48,255
Let's move him to room 650.

635
00:40:48,338 --> 00:40:50,213
Come on, Bianchini!

636
00:40:51,005 --> 00:40:52,338
- Give me a hand.
- Oh, God!

637
00:40:52,672 --> 00:40:54,047
- Excuse me?
- What?

638
00:40:54,213 --> 00:40:56,338
- Your belt was in the hall.
- Thank you.

639
00:40:56,547 --> 00:40:59,713
- Sweet Lord, who's that?
- Vincenzo. Bianchini's brother.

640
00:41:00,297 --> 00:41:02,630
- Is he ill?
- No, just drunk.

641
00:41:03,088 --> 00:41:06,630
He was the best man this morning,
and then boozed it up.

642
00:41:07,130 --> 00:41:09,547
Who dresses like Santa Claus
for a wedding?

643
00:41:09,838 --> 00:41:12,338
- Mind your fucking business.
- Just asking.

644
00:41:12,463 --> 00:41:14,963
Ask yourself this...

645
00:41:15,213 --> 00:41:17,672
if you want to safeguard
the Bianchinis' honor,

646
00:41:17,755 --> 00:41:19,922
can you keep your mouth shut?

647
00:41:20,213 --> 00:41:21,713
Mum's the word.

648
00:41:28,588 --> 00:41:32,797
We're doomed.
A witness has seen the corpse.

649
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,880
Your brilliant plan is a flop.

650
00:41:35,172 --> 00:41:40,922
How can I pretend the body in room 650
is my brother Vincenzo's?

651
00:41:41,380 --> 00:41:42,755
Calm down!

652
00:41:43,838 --> 00:41:48,338
We are faced with an emergency.
We need to think this through.

653
00:41:48,505 --> 00:41:51,213
Quit saying "we", please.

654
00:41:51,588 --> 00:41:55,463
- I'm voting for the Democrats, next time!
- Good.

655
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,880
Democrat or 5 Star supporter?

656
00:41:58,130 --> 00:42:01,838
Partisan grandpa, unionist father,
Berlinguer was my hero.

657
00:42:02,172 --> 00:42:03,880
Then I jumped on their bandwagon.

658
00:42:04,422 --> 00:42:07,713
How depressing,
all those principles up in smoke.

659
00:42:08,255 --> 00:42:10,380
How dare you talk about principles?

660
00:42:10,505 --> 00:42:13,338
You were on Celebrity Survivor!

661
00:42:13,547 --> 00:42:17,255
The Democrats only elected you
because you're hot.

662
00:42:18,547 --> 00:42:19,672
I'm leaving.

663
00:42:20,380 --> 00:42:24,088
You're going to leave
your brother-in-law's body here?

664
00:42:24,297 --> 00:42:27,297
Brother-in-law, my foot.
I'm splitting.

665
00:42:27,463 --> 00:42:29,797
If you go out that way, they'll see you.

666
00:42:29,963 --> 00:42:32,755
- Mrs. Bianchini can do as she pleases.
- Right.

667
00:42:35,172 --> 00:42:37,255
Mr. President, I'm going to split, too.

668
00:42:38,130 --> 00:42:42,422
You will stay put
until we have a plan for this body.

669
00:42:43,672 --> 00:42:45,255
Fine, what?

670
00:42:50,088 --> 00:42:52,838
- Idea!
- Your ideas scare me.

671
00:42:55,672 --> 00:42:59,172
I have an idea and it's brilliant
like all new ideas!

672
00:43:01,297 --> 00:43:05,338
You will pick up this body
and toss it into the Danube.

673
00:43:05,838 --> 00:43:07,338
But how?

674
00:43:07,672 --> 00:43:09,547
- A wheelchair?
- Yes.

675
00:43:09,672 --> 00:43:11,922
Yes. You must have one on the premises.

676
00:43:12,380 --> 00:43:15,838
Of course, President.
The hotel has one for emergencies.

677
00:43:16,088 --> 00:43:17,505
Like now.

678
00:43:17,963 --> 00:43:18,963
All right.

679
00:43:19,505 --> 00:43:23,005
It won't be easy.
I have to go fetch it from storage,

680
00:43:23,338 --> 00:43:25,838
haul it upstairs...
It'll be a real hassle.

681
00:43:26,297 --> 00:43:28,297
I'm sweating just thinking about it.

682
00:43:28,672 --> 00:43:31,380
I understand,
but I'm out of cash now.

683
00:43:31,713 --> 00:43:33,505
How about a credit card?

684
00:43:34,047 --> 00:43:36,005
I'll bring up the card processor, sir.

685
00:43:37,047 --> 00:43:38,630
Process my ass...

686
00:43:44,130 --> 00:43:45,880
You're sure you didn't see her?

687
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,172
I think you're hiding something from me.

688
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:53,630
Now what?!

689
00:44:03,922 --> 00:44:06,505
Everything's fine, Pinna, no worries.

690
00:44:14,338 --> 00:44:15,338
Mr. Bianchini.

691
00:44:15,755 --> 00:44:17,755
- Need help?
- No, thanks.

692
00:44:18,005 --> 00:44:21,297
My staff informed me
that your brother is feeling ill.

693
00:44:22,172 --> 00:44:24,172
- Is that him?
- Unfortunately.

694
00:44:24,588 --> 00:44:26,880
Dressed as Santa Claus?

695
00:44:28,172 --> 00:44:30,963
He looks unwell, almost dead.

696
00:44:31,255 --> 00:44:34,130
Nonsense, he's just hungover.

697
00:44:34,963 --> 00:44:38,130
Want me to find a room for him, too?

698
00:44:38,422 --> 00:44:41,963
No, he's going on a long trip, now.
Right, Vincenzo?

699
00:44:43,713 --> 00:44:45,422
Shall I call a doctor?

700
00:44:46,088 --> 00:44:48,588
Want a doctor, Vincenzo?
He said no.

701
00:44:49,088 --> 00:44:53,422
Some fresh air will do him good.
Which way is the Danube?

702
00:44:54,463 --> 00:44:56,463
Keep going straight
and you'll walk into it.

703
00:44:56,922 --> 00:44:59,047
Walk into it? Perfect.

704
00:45:00,172 --> 00:45:01,588
Wait!

705
00:45:05,255 --> 00:45:07,713
- Why'd you hide it?
- What?

706
00:45:09,005 --> 00:45:11,713
That you got married this morning.

707
00:45:11,797 --> 00:45:15,172
Yes, but I didn't think
it was important news.

708
00:45:15,547 --> 00:45:18,797
I'll send a bottle of champagne
up to room 650.

709
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,130
No, thanks, no more alcohol!

710
00:45:21,547 --> 00:45:23,797
As the president says,
I need to remain sober.

711
00:45:30,255 --> 00:45:34,422
Italy has a solid relationship
with your lovely Hungary.

712
00:45:38,755 --> 00:45:42,505
Italy has a solid relationship
with your lovely Hungary.

713
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,297
Giulia, what are you doing here?

714
00:45:45,463 --> 00:45:47,088
- Roberto!
- Roberto who?

715
00:45:47,172 --> 00:45:48,630
My husband is here!

716
00:45:48,755 --> 00:45:49,922
The separatist?
Yes.

717
00:45:50,047 --> 00:45:53,255
You said he was at
the northern separatist rally!

718
00:45:53,547 --> 00:45:54,547
He's not.

719
00:45:54,588 --> 00:45:56,213
- Open up.
- It's him.

720
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,505
I'll break this door down!

721
00:45:58,588 --> 00:46:01,963
He will, he's hot-headed,
a real beast with fists.

722
00:46:03,297 --> 00:46:05,130
Hide in there.

723
00:46:06,047 --> 00:46:07,588
Quick, quick!

724
00:46:12,630 --> 00:46:14,505
- Hello.
- I'm Roberto Di Leo.

725
00:46:14,588 --> 00:46:16,463
Where's my wife, Giulia?

726
00:46:16,588 --> 00:46:19,713
- What are you talking about?
- Drop the act, Mr. President.

727
00:46:19,797 --> 00:46:21,380
What?

728
00:46:34,672 --> 00:46:37,005
Happy now? See?

729
00:46:37,463 --> 00:46:40,588
What makes you think
your wife would be here?

730
00:46:40,922 --> 00:46:43,630
We are bitter enemies,
politically speaking.

731
00:46:44,005 --> 00:46:45,838
Political enemies, secret lovers.

732
00:46:46,172 --> 00:46:48,297
- What are you saying?
- The truth.

733
00:46:48,463 --> 00:46:50,505
It all started
after the Cernobbio Summit,

734
00:46:50,838 --> 00:46:55,172
with an anonymous letter:
"Your wife's hot for the President."

735
00:46:55,630 --> 00:46:57,172
"The President"?

736
00:46:57,422 --> 00:47:00,922
Everyone's a president in Italy,
even movie producers.

737
00:47:01,047 --> 00:47:02,755
Quit joking!

738
00:47:03,005 --> 00:47:06,422
I had you followed...
one-on-ones, hidden cafes,

739
00:47:06,963 --> 00:47:10,172
- tea rooms!
- Tea rooms, I get it...

740
00:47:10,922 --> 00:47:15,130
Okay, we have met up,
but only to try and find a way

741
00:47:15,422 --> 00:47:18,880
to form an alliance
with the Democratic party.

742
00:47:19,047 --> 00:47:23,963
You're a northern separatist
who acts like a jealous southerner.

743
00:47:24,422 --> 00:47:26,547
- Giorgetti would ban you!
- Be quiet.

744
00:47:27,380 --> 00:47:29,505
Your affair is in the public eye.

745
00:47:29,630 --> 00:47:31,505
Gossip shows are after you,

746
00:47:31,672 --> 00:47:35,672
they sent a reporter
to Budapest to tail you.

747
00:47:35,922 --> 00:47:38,547
- "Budapest love nest"!
- Knock it off!

748
00:47:38,713 --> 00:47:41,213
The reporter told me:

749
00:47:41,338 --> 00:47:44,380
"Di Leo, you'll catch them in Budapest."

750
00:47:44,547 --> 00:47:45,963
So I came here.

751
00:47:46,088 --> 00:47:49,755
He climbed up a scaffolding
and called me:

752
00:47:49,838 --> 00:47:52,547
"Hurry, I'm watching them
from the window..."

753
00:47:54,088 --> 00:47:55,422
Then the call ended.

754
00:47:56,047 --> 00:47:57,755
- Santa Claus!
- Who?

755
00:47:58,005 --> 00:47:59,755
No, nothing...

756
00:48:00,255 --> 00:48:01,588
- Well?
- Well, what?

757
00:48:01,922 --> 00:48:04,255
Okay, I confess.

758
00:48:04,338 --> 00:48:06,505
Your wife came to my suite.

759
00:48:06,797 --> 00:48:08,463
Damn her!

760
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,297
- But not for me.
- For who?

761
00:48:13,838 --> 00:48:16,380
Walter Bianchini,
my new personal assistant.

762
00:48:17,047 --> 00:48:21,213
You think I'm a sucker?
My wife is sneaking around with you.

763
00:48:21,505 --> 00:48:24,463
Fine, then I'll confess everything.

764
00:48:24,797 --> 00:48:28,088
You know that my pillars
are based on principles.

765
00:48:28,713 --> 00:48:33,672
I tried to get Walter Bianchini
out of your wife's head,

766
00:48:33,922 --> 00:48:35,838
but to no avail.

767
00:48:35,922 --> 00:48:39,755
Because he's a playboy
who's slept with half the Senate.

768
00:48:39,838 --> 00:48:41,547
Heaps in Guidonia!

769
00:48:41,630 --> 00:48:44,422
He's a sex-addicted rabbit.

770
00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:45,922
Don't believe it?

771
00:48:46,088 --> 00:48:50,130
Then go ask the front desk
about room 650,

772
00:48:50,213 --> 00:48:54,630
it's reserved for Walter Bianchini
and your Giulia.

773
00:48:57,463 --> 00:48:58,672
What's wrong?

774
00:48:59,380 --> 00:49:01,422
It's all my fault.

775
00:49:01,588 --> 00:49:04,422
Knock it off, be a man.

776
00:49:04,672 --> 00:49:07,463
Let it all out, come on.

777
00:49:07,588 --> 00:49:10,047
I've always neglected Giulia,

778
00:49:10,213 --> 00:49:13,672
that's why
she's gone after Bianchini.

779
00:49:13,797 --> 00:49:16,297
Because I'm not a hot-blooded man,

780
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,838
I'm not passionate.

781
00:49:19,422 --> 00:49:20,838
You're cold, icy?

782
00:49:21,463 --> 00:49:25,422
Yes, and I often strike out
between the sheets.

783
00:49:25,755 --> 00:49:27,422
Shooting blanks?

784
00:49:28,463 --> 00:49:31,297
I'd say this is rather serious.

785
00:49:31,630 --> 00:49:35,297
You see, I love Guilia
so much that I can't...

786
00:49:35,588 --> 00:49:37,880
We could work on this, no?

787
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:40,088
- You think?
- Try.

788
00:49:42,338 --> 00:49:45,172
But that Bianchini guy...

789
00:49:45,588 --> 00:49:49,297
I'll go kick down the door to room 650
and kill him!

790
00:49:49,588 --> 00:49:52,797
Nobody's there, now,
they went out.

791
00:49:52,922 --> 00:49:54,172
Where?

792
00:49:54,338 --> 00:49:56,588
Dunno, a stroll along the Danube.

793
00:49:56,755 --> 00:50:00,255
Well, they'll be back.
I'll stand there and wait.

794
00:50:00,338 --> 00:50:02,422
Good idea, go.

795
00:50:02,630 --> 00:50:05,797
Catch the rabbit and keep me posted.

796
00:50:09,088 --> 00:50:11,880
- Who's this?
- The hotel's richest man.

797
00:50:12,505 --> 00:50:14,338
- Goodbye.
- Eavesdropping?

798
00:50:14,422 --> 00:50:16,172
- I was looking for...
- What?

799
00:50:16,463 --> 00:50:18,213
I came to get the cart.

800
00:50:18,297 --> 00:50:22,588
Fine, get rid of everything
and put that chair back, too.

801
00:50:22,672 --> 00:50:24,005
All right.

802
00:50:29,838 --> 00:50:32,630
- How did I do?
- Amazing.

803
00:50:33,797 --> 00:50:36,922
- Thanks.
- Not you... Roberto!

804
00:50:37,630 --> 00:50:39,547
Now I know he really loves me.

805
00:50:39,630 --> 00:50:41,297
He's never opened up like that.

806
00:50:41,588 --> 00:50:44,838
He was even brave enough
to admit his minor dysfunction.

807
00:50:45,213 --> 00:50:46,713
Minor?

808
00:50:47,005 --> 00:50:49,047
I'm glad nothing happened between us.

809
00:50:49,297 --> 00:50:51,422
At least I won't feel guilty.

810
00:50:51,672 --> 00:50:53,422
He thinks Bianchini's guilty.

811
00:50:54,797 --> 00:50:57,380
Go back to your hotel now.

812
00:50:57,505 --> 00:51:01,963
Actually, go this way.
Call Roberto when you get back there.

813
00:51:02,297 --> 00:51:04,338
- And say what?
- Dunno.

814
00:51:04,422 --> 00:51:07,880
You're in Matteo Renzi's party,
didn't he teach you to lie?

815
00:51:07,963 --> 00:51:09,838
Look who's talking.

816
00:51:10,005 --> 00:51:13,380
Darling, go...
before I vote you off the island.

817
00:51:13,672 --> 00:51:15,463
I may have been on Celebrity Survivor,

818
00:51:15,755 --> 00:51:18,880
but ever since I met
you "real" politicians,

819
00:51:19,047 --> 00:51:21,755
I've considered going back
to being a hairdresser!

820
00:51:22,047 --> 00:51:24,588
What a nasty bunch.
Willing to do anything:

821
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:28,588
change your minds,
jump ship, swap principles in a flash.

822
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,588
Poor Italy.

823
00:51:37,838 --> 00:51:39,088
Great legs!

824
00:51:42,838 --> 00:51:44,005
Eavesdropping again?

825
00:51:44,255 --> 00:51:46,838
- No, I'm still looking for...
- What?

826
00:51:47,172 --> 00:51:49,172
- My tip.
- Here's your tip.

827
00:51:49,380 --> 00:51:51,880
- You've disappointed me.
- You've pissed me off.

828
00:51:52,255 --> 00:51:56,172
Can't wait to see this cheapskate's
financial legislation!

829
00:51:57,588 --> 00:51:59,463
Don't touch a thing.

830
00:52:10,047 --> 00:52:11,922
- Hello?
- Walter?

831
00:52:12,297 --> 00:52:14,297
This isn't Walter, who's this?

832
00:52:14,797 --> 00:52:16,047
His mom, who are you?

833
00:52:16,422 --> 00:52:18,505
Room service
at Budapest's Grand Hotel.

834
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,255
He's in a different hotel now?

835
00:52:21,505 --> 00:52:24,213
Yes, thanks to President Rispoli

836
00:52:24,422 --> 00:52:27,172
who offered him a room
for his honeymoon.

837
00:52:28,255 --> 00:52:31,297
- Walter got married?
- Yes, this morning.

838
00:52:32,172 --> 00:52:34,380
- You weren't at the wedding?
- Dear God.

839
00:52:34,463 --> 00:52:37,630
Lovely guests, lovely party,
and such good food!

840
00:52:37,838 --> 00:52:39,922
I'm going to faint!

841
00:52:40,755 --> 00:52:43,255
Come on, ma'am...

842
00:52:43,630 --> 00:52:46,547
I'm going to have a stroke!
Oh, God...

843
00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:48,172
Hello?

844
00:52:48,297 --> 00:52:49,338
Walter...

845
00:52:49,588 --> 00:52:50,838
Hello?

846
00:52:51,713 --> 00:52:53,630
Mom got cut off.

847
00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,380
He didn't even invite his mom?
How shameful.

848
00:52:57,630 --> 00:52:59,505
What can you do...

849
00:52:59,713 --> 00:53:01,672
A mother feeds 100 kids,

850
00:53:01,797 --> 00:53:04,338
but 100 kids don't feed a mother.

851
00:54:40,505 --> 00:54:43,755
Oh, God, Santa Claus!
Where's the body?

852
00:54:43,963 --> 00:54:47,130
I have to tell the President!
Where's my phone?

853
00:54:47,630 --> 00:54:49,297
In the suite.

854
00:54:55,922 --> 00:54:58,047
Berta, it's Mrs. Bianchini.

855
00:54:59,047 --> 00:55:01,922
Mrs. Bianchini, what a surprise!

856
00:55:02,213 --> 00:55:04,755
I ran into your son
by chance in Budapest.

857
00:55:05,047 --> 00:55:07,088
I'm calling about that wretch.

858
00:55:07,505 --> 00:55:10,047
He got married this morning.
It was a secret wedding.

859
00:55:10,297 --> 00:55:12,297
My son's life is a mystery.

860
00:55:12,380 --> 00:55:14,922
I need you to solve it.
Go find him!

861
00:55:15,422 --> 00:55:18,255
He's honeymooning at Grand Hotel.

862
00:55:18,672 --> 00:55:21,463
Go there and call me
when you have news.

863
00:55:21,672 --> 00:55:24,547
Do you understand? Hurry,
I'm a bundle of nerves!

864
00:55:26,838 --> 00:55:28,630
Italians...

865
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:33,463
3,000 forints, please.

866
00:55:33,713 --> 00:55:37,380
I left the necklace Roberto gave me
at Franco's.

867
00:55:40,797 --> 00:55:44,213
If I'm not wearing it,
Roberto will never forgive me.

868
00:56:06,547 --> 00:56:08,338
How's your brother?

869
00:56:08,463 --> 00:56:10,672
He dis... departed.

870
00:56:11,338 --> 00:56:14,422
Excuse me, I heard
you were looking for the President.

871
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:17,380
Are you part of the delegation?

872
00:56:17,963 --> 00:56:22,338
Do you know Walter Bianchini,
the President's secretary?

873
00:56:22,630 --> 00:56:24,130
Yes, why?

874
00:56:24,297 --> 00:56:26,797
- I want to kill him.
- Why?

875
00:56:27,338 --> 00:56:30,005
He's having an affair
with Giulia Rossi, my wife.

876
00:56:30,463 --> 00:56:33,213
- Says who?
- The President.

877
00:56:33,755 --> 00:56:36,005
- What an asshole.
- The President?

878
00:56:36,172 --> 00:56:38,463
No, Bianchini.

879
00:56:38,672 --> 00:56:42,672
When I find him, I'll kick his balls in
and head-butt him.

880
00:56:42,922 --> 00:56:44,588
- Thug style?
- Yes.

881
00:56:45,755 --> 00:56:47,172
Then I'll punch him.

882
00:56:47,422 --> 00:56:51,463
It won't be easy. Bianchini's big,
a 7-foot giant.

883
00:56:51,797 --> 00:56:54,630
Massive shoulders,
shovel-like hands,

884
00:56:54,963 --> 00:56:58,005
he's an ex-martial arts champ.
I'd steer clear.

885
00:56:58,713 --> 00:57:02,713
I'll get a bulldozer from Civitavecchia
and pave him.

886
00:57:06,755 --> 00:57:08,422
What a day...

887
00:57:13,838 --> 00:57:15,672
Here you go, 6,000 forints.

888
00:57:22,297 --> 00:57:23,963
Oh no, my shawl...

889
00:57:24,088 --> 00:57:25,630
Who gives a shit.

890
00:57:55,713 --> 00:57:57,672
"Welcome, newlyweds"...

891
00:58:00,255 --> 00:58:02,047
I'm not married, I'm a bachelor.

892
00:58:15,088 --> 00:58:16,088
Pinna!

893
00:58:16,713 --> 00:58:18,380
You suck!

894
00:58:18,838 --> 00:58:20,547
Mr. President?

895
00:58:25,713 --> 00:58:29,588
Fracassi, you said it'd be a full house,
standing room only.

896
00:58:29,713 --> 00:58:32,255
Mr. President, it's Christmas.

897
00:58:32,838 --> 00:58:35,380
If Rocco Siffredi were here,
it'd be jam-packed.

898
00:58:35,505 --> 00:58:37,297
Like the stadium.

899
00:59:07,130 --> 00:59:08,672
My goodness!

900
00:59:20,547 --> 00:59:23,547
Italy has a solid relationship

901
00:59:23,838 --> 00:59:26,005
with your lovely Hungary.

902
00:59:29,380 --> 00:59:31,963
Respectful and warm greetings to all!

903
00:59:32,797 --> 00:59:37,088
I am delighted that so many of you
have come despite the Christmas season.

904
00:59:38,047 --> 00:59:41,297
Italy and your wonderful country, Hungary

905
00:59:41,547 --> 00:59:45,088
have shared an intimate connection
since ancient times.

906
00:59:45,713 --> 00:59:46,713
I promise

907
00:59:47,213 --> 00:59:50,213
I will do my best to make our friendship
even more fruitful.

908
00:59:56,422 --> 00:59:59,255
How can we forget
Prince Eugene of Savoy,

909
00:59:59,713 --> 01:00:02,880
who halted the Ottoman onslaught
on Buda's hills

910
01:00:02,963 --> 01:00:06,130
to reaffirm Christian principles
in Magyar territory.

911
01:00:08,505 --> 01:00:11,088
We helped reaffirm Christian principles.

912
01:00:22,422 --> 01:00:23,797
I feel obliged...

913
01:00:25,255 --> 01:00:27,422
Excuse me...

914
01:00:29,255 --> 01:00:30,172
It's work.

915
01:00:30,255 --> 01:00:31,255
Work.

916
01:00:31,505 --> 01:00:33,505
An important State matter...

917
01:00:33,588 --> 01:00:36,547
Donald calling from the Oval Office.

918
01:00:36,672 --> 01:00:37,672
Donald?

919
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,838
- Donald?
- Forget Donald, it's me.

920
01:00:41,047 --> 01:00:43,088
Any news about the Danube?

921
01:00:43,630 --> 01:00:46,880
I have some news:
bad news and worse news.

922
01:00:48,630 --> 01:00:49,755
Deep shit!

923
01:00:50,172 --> 01:00:52,505
- The bad news?
- The body vanished.

924
01:00:52,755 --> 01:00:55,088
That's great news!

925
01:00:55,505 --> 01:00:57,463
The worse news?

926
01:00:59,755 --> 01:01:01,422
The body reappeared

927
01:01:01,630 --> 01:01:03,630
and is about to sneak into your suite.

928
01:01:03,922 --> 01:01:04,922
Walking dead?

929
01:01:05,213 --> 01:01:08,213
And I'm shitting myself.
Gotta go, Prez.

930
01:01:08,547 --> 01:01:10,172
Freeze, don't move.

931
01:01:10,380 --> 01:01:12,213
Don't hurt me, Santa Zombie.

932
01:01:12,463 --> 01:01:14,922
I'm an only child
who cares for his sick mother.

933
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:18,547
Where's President Rispoli
and Senator Rossi?

934
01:01:33,255 --> 01:01:34,797
Still here?

935
01:01:35,047 --> 01:01:37,338
- It's a long story.
- So I see.

936
01:01:37,547 --> 01:01:39,088
- And you?
- A long story.

937
01:01:39,297 --> 01:01:42,755
Help me hide this corpse,
if it is a corpse.

938
01:01:43,005 --> 01:01:45,463
- Meaning?
- I told you it's a long story.

939
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,130
- Where's my husband's room?
- Almost there.

940
01:01:52,422 --> 01:01:55,213
Mrs. Rispoli, the President's wife.
Hide in the bedroom.

941
01:01:55,422 --> 01:01:57,088
- My bag.
- Yes.

942
01:01:57,630 --> 01:02:00,463
The hallway is so long!

943
01:02:00,797 --> 01:02:02,047
Here we are.

944
01:02:02,463 --> 01:02:04,172
Mrs. Rispoli...

945
01:02:04,630 --> 01:02:07,255
this is the hotel's nicest suite.

946
01:02:08,088 --> 01:02:09,672
Delightful.

947
01:02:09,922 --> 01:02:11,755
- Looks like a museum.
- Thanks.

948
01:02:11,963 --> 01:02:13,797
I'll put your bag in the room.

949
01:02:13,963 --> 01:02:15,838
No! No.

950
01:02:16,297 --> 01:02:18,880
Bianchini? What a surprise!

951
01:02:19,047 --> 01:02:20,422
In the closet?

952
01:02:20,505 --> 01:02:23,422
Give it to me, carrying bags is my job.

953
01:02:25,047 --> 01:02:27,088
- Here.
- Only five?

954
01:02:27,505 --> 01:02:29,297
I'm a bag-carrier, not the President.

955
01:02:29,380 --> 01:02:31,005
- Five euros?
- Scram.

956
01:02:31,380 --> 01:02:34,963
Franco was right,
it's a delightful suite.

957
01:02:35,422 --> 01:02:38,963
Before becoming First Lady
I only went on field trips.

958
01:02:39,297 --> 01:02:42,547
I teach geography,
but I've never been to Budapest.

959
01:02:42,838 --> 01:02:47,838
To be honest, I've never seen
a hotel like this before!

960
01:02:47,963 --> 01:02:50,713
Why the unexpected visit,
Mrs. Marisa?

961
01:02:50,797 --> 01:02:53,213
Because today's our wedding anniversary,

962
01:02:53,588 --> 01:02:57,047
but with all of his duties,
Franco must have forgotten.

963
01:02:57,213 --> 01:02:59,255
So I decided to surprise him.

964
01:02:59,672 --> 01:03:03,047
I know my husband
and he'll be thrilled to see me.

965
01:03:03,172 --> 01:03:04,922
Overjoyed.

966
01:03:05,005 --> 01:03:07,588
What a lovely lady!
Who is she?

967
01:03:07,713 --> 01:03:09,422
Dunno, some dame.

968
01:03:09,963 --> 01:03:12,338
Bianchini, why aren't you with him?

969
01:03:12,630 --> 01:03:16,505
I came back here to get
some documents he'd forgotten.

970
01:03:16,588 --> 01:03:18,630
He forgets everything!

971
01:03:19,005 --> 01:03:23,005
- Bet he keeps you running around.
- Especially today...

972
01:03:23,255 --> 01:03:25,630
How can you stand such intensity?

973
01:03:25,713 --> 01:03:29,630
I get breathless just thinking about it.

974
01:03:30,380 --> 01:03:31,922
Okay. Bianchini,

975
01:03:32,380 --> 01:03:36,713
I'll go freshen up
and take a look at the bedroom.

976
01:03:38,255 --> 01:03:40,755
- Don't go in this room.
- Why?

977
01:03:41,088 --> 01:03:43,338
Because it's better over there.
Where?

978
01:03:43,672 --> 01:03:44,922
In my room.

979
01:03:46,588 --> 01:03:49,880
- You're in this hotel, too?
- Yes, room 650. Come...

980
01:03:50,255 --> 01:03:53,338
- Where?
- Over there, just us two.

981
01:03:53,463 --> 01:03:54,880
Now's our chance.

982
01:03:55,047 --> 01:03:57,130
Our chance for what?

983
01:03:58,172 --> 01:03:59,755
To make love.

984
01:04:04,922 --> 01:04:06,047
Crazy!

985
01:04:06,255 --> 01:04:08,547
You are crazy!

986
01:04:08,713 --> 01:04:12,380
Yes.
I'm crazy about you, Marisa.

987
01:04:13,547 --> 01:04:17,463
I feel so odd, like I'm alive.

988
01:04:17,672 --> 01:04:19,505
How incredible!

989
01:04:19,672 --> 01:04:21,380
You are amazing.

990
01:04:22,172 --> 01:04:24,838
It was love at first sight,
don't resist me.

991
01:04:26,088 --> 01:04:27,338
I won't.

992
01:04:32,547 --> 01:04:35,380
Why'd you wait so long?

993
01:04:35,588 --> 01:04:38,547
- Not again!
- Why'd you keep it bottled up?

994
01:04:38,755 --> 01:04:41,588
Because I toe the line.
You shouldn't.

995
01:04:42,672 --> 01:04:43,672
Walter.

996
01:04:44,797 --> 01:04:48,088
I've been married for ages,
I didn't have tenure,

997
01:04:48,172 --> 01:04:50,338
then my husband took to politics

998
01:04:50,422 --> 01:04:53,422
and doesn't look at me anymore,
barely touches me,

999
01:04:53,505 --> 01:04:55,547
he's focused on his career,

1000
01:04:55,713 --> 01:04:57,422
on meeting with Macron, Merkel...

1001
01:04:57,630 --> 01:04:59,880
It's all become so dull.

1002
01:05:00,297 --> 01:05:03,172
But right by his side

1003
01:05:03,338 --> 01:05:06,588
was a man who longed for me.

1004
01:05:06,672 --> 01:05:08,255
A lot!

1005
01:05:09,130 --> 01:05:11,422
Let's get to it.
Room 650 awaits!

1006
01:05:11,505 --> 01:05:12,922
No, wait.

1007
01:05:13,047 --> 01:05:15,505
They'll see us in the hall,
we'll use the scaffolding.

1008
01:05:16,047 --> 01:05:17,672
Scaffolding...

1009
01:05:18,047 --> 01:05:19,630
An adventure.

1010
01:05:20,588 --> 01:05:22,963
I brought a negligee with me.

1011
01:05:23,130 --> 01:05:26,963
We might not need it,
but it cost a fortune, so I'll wear it.

1012
01:05:28,672 --> 01:05:30,255
Careful!

1013
01:05:32,838 --> 01:05:34,588
Goodness...

1014
01:05:35,172 --> 01:05:36,713
Hot, cold...

1015
01:05:36,797 --> 01:05:38,672
Cold, hot!

1016
01:05:38,963 --> 01:05:43,172
I never know what to wear! Bianchini?

1017
01:05:44,088 --> 01:05:45,755
Where are you?

1018
01:05:45,838 --> 01:05:47,630
- Franco?
- You?

1019
01:05:47,838 --> 01:05:50,755
I left this behind.
Roberto's wedding gift.

1020
01:05:51,213 --> 01:05:55,713
I saw him fuming in the lobby,
he wants to kill Bianchini!

1021
01:05:55,922 --> 01:05:59,380
- Did you see Bianchini?
- Yes, I have some bad news.

1022
01:05:59,630 --> 01:06:02,005
Bad and worse news?

1023
01:06:02,088 --> 01:06:04,547
No, just worse news. Come here.

1024
01:06:04,672 --> 01:06:06,255
What?

1025
01:06:06,755 --> 01:06:08,380
First news.

1026
01:06:08,505 --> 01:06:10,838
I thought he had risen?

1027
01:06:11,213 --> 01:06:13,047
Whatever.

1028
01:06:13,255 --> 01:06:15,088
- Know who he is?
- No.

1029
01:06:15,338 --> 01:06:18,213
- A gossip reporter.
- Oh, God!

1030
01:06:18,422 --> 01:06:22,713
The second news is even worse,
so brace yourself.

1031
01:06:22,838 --> 01:06:25,088
- Have a seat.
- No, I'm too tense.

1032
01:06:25,297 --> 01:06:28,172
Know who's come to Budapest? Your...

1033
01:06:28,505 --> 01:06:30,422
- What now?
- My head.

1034
01:06:30,588 --> 01:06:33,630
He dies, rises, then dies again.
What's wrong?

1035
01:06:33,755 --> 01:06:35,463
Do you know who I am?

1036
01:06:36,088 --> 01:06:37,422
- No!
- No!

1037
01:06:37,588 --> 01:06:40,505
Then we're screwed,
because I don't remember.

1038
01:06:40,713 --> 01:06:43,547
- What's my name?
- This news is...

1039
01:06:43,713 --> 01:06:45,463
Dreadful.

1040
01:06:45,713 --> 01:06:47,922
Why am I dressed like this?

1041
01:06:48,172 --> 01:06:50,588
Why was I in a closet
in your home?

1042
01:06:50,963 --> 01:06:55,755
No, this isn't our home,
this is a hotel.

1043
01:06:55,963 --> 01:06:58,463
- A hotel?
- Yes, hotel.

1044
01:06:59,130 --> 01:07:01,422
Now it's starting to come back.

1045
01:07:01,630 --> 01:07:03,588
Don't exert yourself.

1046
01:07:03,797 --> 01:07:07,338
- Ouch, my head.
- See? Don't exert yourself.

1047
01:07:07,547 --> 01:07:08,797
- You're lucky.
- Why?

1048
01:07:09,047 --> 01:07:12,005
Because we have a doctor here,
a neurologist.

1049
01:07:12,380 --> 01:07:14,672
She's great, we'll consult her.

1050
01:07:15,588 --> 01:07:18,047
Dr. Neurologist,
what should he do?

1051
01:07:18,213 --> 01:07:21,672
Total bed rest, eyes closed, lying down.

1052
01:07:22,005 --> 01:07:24,588
- To the bedroom.
- Let's go.

1053
01:07:26,547 --> 01:07:30,380
Come to think of it,
your faces look familiar.

1054
01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:33,380
You're not cooperating.

1055
01:07:33,755 --> 01:07:35,630
Stop thinking! Stop thinking!

1056
01:07:36,797 --> 01:07:41,213
God, what a day.
Her, them, the corpse...

1057
01:07:42,297 --> 01:07:43,838
He's gone again?

1058
01:07:43,963 --> 01:07:45,255
Bianchini?

1059
01:07:45,713 --> 01:07:47,505
Where the heck were you?

1060
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:50,672
- Santa woke up.
- So I see.

1061
01:07:50,797 --> 01:07:53,463
Know who he is?
A gossip reporter.

1062
01:07:53,755 --> 01:07:58,922
Luckily, the bang to the head
made him lose his memory.

1063
01:07:59,213 --> 01:08:03,338
- Now we have to go back to Plan A.
- Plan A?

1064
01:08:03,588 --> 01:08:07,172
Move him into your room,
room 650,

1065
01:08:07,338 --> 01:08:09,963
because my suite
is getting rather crowded.

1066
01:08:10,338 --> 01:08:12,755
- So is mine.
- Why?

1067
01:08:13,713 --> 01:08:17,130
Sir, take a deep breath,
sit down and I'll explain.

1068
01:08:17,422 --> 01:08:19,797
No, you can explain later,

1069
01:08:20,005 --> 01:08:23,713
let's move him before
he recognizes me, it's our only choice.

1070
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:25,338
We still have Plan B.

1071
01:08:25,713 --> 01:08:27,422
- Plan B?
- Tell the truth.

1072
01:08:27,672 --> 01:08:29,297
The truth?

1073
01:08:29,588 --> 01:08:32,713
Are you nuts?
And topple the government?

1074
01:08:33,130 --> 01:08:35,130
- I go back to the boondocks?
- Yes.

1075
01:08:35,255 --> 01:08:36,755
- Then Plan A.
- Good.

1076
01:08:37,088 --> 01:08:38,922
He remembered his name!

1077
01:08:39,005 --> 01:08:41,963
Oh, God, this is a nightmare!

1078
01:08:44,505 --> 01:08:45,963
God, what a madhouse.

1079
01:08:46,463 --> 01:08:50,213
These two names
keep whirling in my mind:

1080
01:08:50,797 --> 01:08:52,922
Rossi and Rispoli...

1081
01:08:53,297 --> 01:08:55,422
- Ring a bell?
- No...

1082
01:08:56,547 --> 01:08:58,755
Ouch, my head!

1083
01:08:59,422 --> 01:09:01,880
Go get my sleeping pills
in the bathroom.

1084
01:09:02,255 --> 01:09:04,130
- How many?
- The whole box.

1085
01:09:04,380 --> 01:09:06,422
- What?
- And the drops, too.

1086
01:09:06,547 --> 01:09:07,922
He'll die.

1087
01:09:08,380 --> 01:09:11,797
Then we'll resort to Plan C:
wheelchair and Danube.

1088
01:09:12,422 --> 01:09:13,755
This is politics, baby.

1089
01:09:14,213 --> 01:09:17,255
Maybe I should go back
to the boondocks!

1090
01:09:17,922 --> 01:09:18,922
Housekeeping.

1091
01:09:21,838 --> 01:09:26,005
Mr. President.
I'm here for turndown service.

1092
01:09:26,255 --> 01:09:28,755
- Who are you?
- Caterina, I'm from Apulia.

1093
01:09:29,047 --> 01:09:30,172
Only Italians work here?

1094
01:09:30,338 --> 01:09:33,588
No, we Italians were assigned to you.
It's an honor.

1095
01:09:33,880 --> 01:09:38,463
I came here because I'm dating
an Apulian porn actor.

1096
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:42,005
I see, great.
But quit dicking around and get out.

1097
01:09:42,213 --> 01:09:44,338
- And the bed?
- Do it later.

1098
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:48,755
Cookie, come here!

1099
01:09:49,005 --> 01:09:51,047
I ordered oysters and champagne.

1100
01:09:51,130 --> 01:09:54,547
I told you to wait in there,
your husband could come back.

1101
01:09:54,672 --> 01:09:55,547
Yes!

1102
01:09:55,672 --> 01:09:58,505
- Sign for the oysters and champagne.
- God...

1103
01:10:00,255 --> 01:10:01,422
Stop it.

1104
01:10:01,922 --> 01:10:03,505
Enough!

1105
01:10:03,922 --> 01:10:05,255
You leech!

1106
01:10:05,547 --> 01:10:08,213
Take an oyster as a tip,
you might find a pearl.

1107
01:10:09,172 --> 01:10:12,297
Props to you, Mr. Bianchini,
a threesome honeymoon.

1108
01:10:12,547 --> 01:10:13,963
Yes, join us!

1109
01:10:14,255 --> 01:10:17,297
- Really?
- No, get lost!

1110
01:10:17,547 --> 01:10:21,463
- Hope it's the last time I see you.
- The night is still young.

1111
01:10:23,630 --> 01:10:26,297
Let's go back.
Whatever you want!

1112
01:10:27,047 --> 01:10:28,963
Go on, Marisa!

1113
01:10:30,047 --> 01:10:31,880
God, Mrs. Rispoli!

1114
01:10:32,588 --> 01:10:33,963
Mrs. Rispoli?

1115
01:10:34,255 --> 01:10:36,130
For fuck's sake...

1116
01:10:40,672 --> 01:10:42,797
Who's that? Coming!

1117
01:10:57,963 --> 01:10:59,547
Coming!

1118
01:11:04,505 --> 01:11:07,255
Berta, why are you here?
Pinna let you up?

1119
01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:08,713
Your mom sent me.

1120
01:11:09,047 --> 01:11:11,672
She said you got married this morning.

1121
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:14,047
She's worried sick.
Where's the bride?

1122
01:11:14,380 --> 01:11:17,672
Calm down Berta,
there's no bride, I'm not married.

1123
01:11:17,922 --> 01:11:20,505
Walter, what a kiss!

1124
01:11:20,588 --> 01:11:22,338
What a bang!

1125
01:11:22,463 --> 01:11:26,130
- There is a bride.
- No, she's the President's wife.

1126
01:11:26,255 --> 01:11:27,797
- I'll wait here.
- Sure.

1127
01:11:28,005 --> 01:11:30,505
She said, "Walter, what a kiss!"

1128
01:11:30,838 --> 01:11:32,547
Yeah, more or less.

1129
01:11:33,005 --> 01:11:36,088
- Where's your wife?
- In the bedroom but she's not my wife.

1130
01:11:36,255 --> 01:11:39,047
- How many women are there?
- I lost count.

1131
01:11:39,297 --> 01:11:42,005
I want to see this bride for myself.

1132
01:11:42,088 --> 01:11:43,463
- Come!
- Where?

1133
01:11:43,672 --> 01:11:45,880
- To my room.
- For what?

1134
01:11:46,005 --> 01:11:47,755
Hot lovemaking!

1135
01:11:51,505 --> 01:11:53,422
Mr. Walter, are you crazy?

1136
01:11:53,505 --> 01:11:56,088
Crazy about you.
I dream of you more than soccer!

1137
01:11:56,255 --> 01:11:58,130
Don't resist me, Berta!

1138
01:11:58,838 --> 01:12:00,463
I won't!

1139
01:12:03,130 --> 01:12:06,005
Mr. Walter,
to think we wasted all this time.

1140
01:12:06,422 --> 01:12:08,672
I've longed for you all these years...

1141
01:12:09,963 --> 01:12:12,130
...but I kept it bottled up.

1142
01:12:12,380 --> 01:12:14,463
That's my line.

1143
01:12:14,588 --> 01:12:18,505
And it's the truth because
I've always liked you.

1144
01:12:18,797 --> 01:12:20,463
But you're married!

1145
01:12:20,588 --> 01:12:23,088
I'm not married, I'm still a bachelor.

1146
01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:26,505
What about the lady in the closet
and in the bedroom?

1147
01:12:26,672 --> 01:12:28,713
I'll explain under the sheets.

1148
01:12:28,922 --> 01:12:31,422
- I won't be a mistress!
- Trust me!

1149
01:12:33,755 --> 01:12:35,963
Fine, let's go!

1150
01:12:39,130 --> 01:12:41,088
- Come on.
- Wait.

1151
01:12:42,047 --> 01:12:43,213
- The key.
- Okay.

1152
01:12:43,422 --> 01:12:47,963
First room on the left, 650.
I'll finish up and be right there.

1153
01:12:48,088 --> 01:12:50,255
I'll be waiting naked.

1154
01:12:51,713 --> 01:12:53,880
All right, baby! I can't wait!

1155
01:12:58,463 --> 01:12:59,922
What a babe!

1156
01:13:02,630 --> 01:13:05,880
What a dumbass, they all wanted me
but I had no clue.

1157
01:13:07,380 --> 01:13:09,922
- More!
- More than 80?

1158
01:13:10,672 --> 01:13:14,380
Eighty-one, 82, 83, 84, 85...

1159
01:13:14,588 --> 01:13:16,047
Enough!

1160
01:13:17,130 --> 01:13:19,297
Here.

1161
01:13:20,672 --> 01:13:23,672
- What's that?
- Spa water.

1162
01:13:25,713 --> 01:13:27,672
- Will it help?
- For sure.

1163
01:13:34,297 --> 01:13:36,547
He's finally asleep.

1164
01:13:38,505 --> 01:13:40,963
Now help me move him to your room.

1165
01:13:41,130 --> 01:13:42,880
- Not my room.
- Why?

1166
01:13:43,172 --> 01:13:47,047
Because there's a naked lady
waiting in my bed for me.

1167
01:13:47,213 --> 01:13:50,672
Now's not the time for practical jokes.

1168
01:13:51,047 --> 01:13:52,755
What's that?

1169
01:13:54,963 --> 01:13:58,088
Marisa! Marisa! Marisa!

1170
01:13:58,463 --> 01:13:59,463
Marisa!

1171
01:13:59,630 --> 01:14:00,755
- Marisa?
- Huh?

1172
01:14:01,088 --> 01:14:06,338
Why are you in a closet in Budapest
wearing a negligee?

1173
01:14:06,505 --> 01:14:08,713
Where did you get this negligee?

1174
01:14:09,547 --> 01:14:12,338
- Why am I here?
- Why?

1175
01:14:13,338 --> 01:14:16,005
I don't know. I don't know.

1176
01:14:16,130 --> 01:14:18,880
- My memory's foggy.
- You, too?

1177
01:14:19,088 --> 01:14:22,172
- Thank goodness.
- Where are we?

1178
01:14:22,422 --> 01:14:25,005
- My head hurts.
- What happened?

1179
01:14:25,255 --> 01:14:27,922
The window hit her head
while she was climbing in.

1180
01:14:28,088 --> 01:14:30,797
- Why was she climbing in?
- I tried to explain before.

1181
01:14:31,255 --> 01:14:35,338
It's your anniversary today
so she came here to surprise you.

1182
01:14:35,422 --> 01:14:38,797
Well, she sure did. Sit down, honey.

1183
01:14:39,213 --> 01:14:43,130
- No, on this sofa. Fine.
- No, this one.

1184
01:14:44,005 --> 01:14:47,463
She used room 650 to get changed.
I tried to keep her there

1185
01:14:47,588 --> 01:14:51,463
but since I've been up to my neck,
I lost control of her.

1186
01:14:51,838 --> 01:14:54,547
Honey? Honey, look at me.

1187
01:14:55,213 --> 01:15:00,130
How could I have forgotten
our wedding anniversary?

1188
01:15:00,547 --> 01:15:03,338
I'm getting screwed by politics.

1189
01:15:03,463 --> 01:15:05,005
Not just that.

1190
01:15:05,130 --> 01:15:08,005
Your face looks familiar.

1191
01:15:08,255 --> 01:15:09,588
What's your name?

1192
01:15:10,922 --> 01:15:12,422
She's out of it.

1193
01:15:12,505 --> 01:15:15,088
That window's lethal.
Robespierre would've liked it.

1194
01:15:15,338 --> 01:15:18,047
Quit blabbing,
go get her some water.

1195
01:15:18,172 --> 01:15:20,005
Honey, stay put.

1196
01:15:21,297 --> 01:15:24,047
Close your eyes and relax.

1197
01:15:29,047 --> 01:15:32,505
Relax... you'll be fine.

1198
01:15:32,630 --> 01:15:35,463
Some water, rest, and you'll be fine.

1199
01:15:40,588 --> 01:15:42,047
I'm here, baby.

1200
01:15:45,922 --> 01:15:48,922
So there is a lady in his bed!

1201
01:15:49,005 --> 01:15:50,463
Who are you?

1202
01:15:50,755 --> 01:15:54,088
I'm so naive and stupid
for believing Walter.

1203
01:15:54,922 --> 01:15:56,547
He said he wasn't married.

1204
01:15:57,088 --> 01:15:59,172
Mrs. Bianchini, I don't steal husbands.

1205
01:15:59,547 --> 01:16:01,963
No, it's not a big deal.

1206
01:16:02,963 --> 01:16:04,380
Don't trust him.

1207
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:08,338
He has another woman in suite 648.
In the closet!

1208
01:16:22,213 --> 01:16:25,630
- Roberto? Honey...
- So the President didn't lie,

1209
01:16:26,338 --> 01:16:27,797
you're Bianchini's lover?

1210
01:16:27,922 --> 01:16:29,713
- Why are you here?
- Answer!

1211
01:16:30,005 --> 01:16:32,672
- Roberto, let me explain.
- What?

1212
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:35,380
You're in room 650, Bianchini's room.

1213
01:16:35,463 --> 01:16:40,088
- You're his lover.
- No, another woman is Bianchini's lover.

1214
01:16:40,588 --> 01:16:43,172
- Who?
- Marisa Rispoli, the First Lady.

1215
01:16:43,505 --> 01:16:48,672
This is her bag with her initials:
"M R." Marisa Rispoli.

1216
01:16:48,922 --> 01:16:53,630
She secretly came to Budapest
just to be with Bianchini!

1217
01:16:53,838 --> 01:16:56,922
But... In the room
next door to her husband's?

1218
01:16:57,172 --> 01:17:01,380
When women are neglected
they can go astray.

1219
01:17:01,547 --> 01:17:04,088
If you're not Bianchini's lover,
why are you here?

1220
01:17:04,505 --> 01:17:06,005
I'm here...

1221
01:17:06,838 --> 01:17:08,338
for political reasons.

1222
01:17:09,422 --> 01:17:11,005
- Meaning?
- I can't tell you.

1223
01:17:11,297 --> 01:17:14,630
Only me, Orfini, and Di Maio know.
It's Walter's idea.

1224
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,172
- Bianchini?
- Veltroni.

1225
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:20,380
Bullshit! You're a liar
like the President and Bianchini.

1226
01:17:20,463 --> 01:17:23,672
Bianchini is a front.
I had you followed...

1227
01:17:24,130 --> 01:17:26,130
You met secretly with the President.

1228
01:17:26,547 --> 01:17:29,713
It's true.
Why do you think I did that?

1229
01:17:30,463 --> 01:17:32,672
- Political reasons, I bet.
- Bingo.

1230
01:17:32,797 --> 01:17:35,005
Rispoli doesn't have Senate majority,

1231
01:17:35,088 --> 01:17:38,505
some northern separatists betrayed him,
so he needs us.

1232
01:17:38,630 --> 01:17:40,047
Remember the Nazareno Pact?

1233
01:17:40,297 --> 01:17:42,505
This is Pact 2
with the Five Stars.

1234
01:17:42,630 --> 01:17:45,005
But it's top secret, nobody must know.

1235
01:17:45,797 --> 01:17:48,005
- Not even Marco Travaglio?
- Roberto, look at me.

1236
01:17:48,380 --> 01:17:51,630
Look at me,
I swear I'm telling the truth.

1237
01:17:52,255 --> 01:17:54,547
You betrayed Silvio Berlusconi...

1238
01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:57,505
but I never reproached you.

1239
01:17:59,088 --> 01:18:02,463
Betrayals are not allowed
in politics or life!

1240
01:18:03,130 --> 01:18:06,713
But I'll forgive you,
and do you know why?

1241
01:18:07,297 --> 01:18:08,422
Because I love you.

1242
01:18:09,088 --> 01:18:10,088
I love you!

1243
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:15,380
Finish your water and cover up,
it's cold.

1244
01:18:15,505 --> 01:18:16,713
- Yes.
- Come on.

1245
01:18:17,463 --> 01:18:20,130
- Feeling better?
- Yes, thank you.

1246
01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,047
Are you a doctor?

1247
01:18:23,047 --> 01:18:25,422
Hold on!
I got it!

1248
01:18:25,755 --> 01:18:26,755
Santa's back!

1249
01:18:27,338 --> 01:18:31,297
I'm Mariano Tozzi!
I'm married to Loredana!

1250
01:18:32,130 --> 01:18:36,130
I have two sons,
Giovanni and Alberto.

1251
01:18:36,547 --> 01:18:42,797
I live in Milan on via Silvio Pellico 5,
building A, apartment seven.

1252
01:18:43,005 --> 01:18:44,463
Okay, we believe you.

1253
01:18:44,672 --> 01:18:47,755
Wait... I went to Cesare Beccaria
High School,

1254
01:18:48,213 --> 01:18:51,130
class C with Professor Vignuzzi,

1255
01:18:51,463 --> 01:18:54,255
who would always say that the window...

1256
01:18:54,797 --> 01:18:56,172
The window?

1257
01:18:57,672 --> 01:18:58,880
The window...

1258
01:18:59,422 --> 01:19:03,088
Her memory might be coming back.

1259
01:19:03,463 --> 01:19:06,463
- We're in trouble.
- I remember everything.

1260
01:19:06,547 --> 01:19:11,255
I came in through the window,
and I remember...

1261
01:19:12,672 --> 01:19:14,380
everything.

1262
01:19:14,963 --> 01:19:16,047
The window.

1263
01:19:17,463 --> 01:19:18,463
Professor Vignuzzi.

1264
01:19:20,005 --> 01:19:22,380
God bless sleeping pills!

1265
01:19:22,755 --> 01:19:27,130
Blessed they be!
I'll put him back in bed.

1266
01:19:28,047 --> 01:19:31,213
Bianchini, who's that Santa
with my husband?

1267
01:19:31,588 --> 01:19:32,755
Your memory's back?

1268
01:19:32,838 --> 01:19:35,255
I never lost it.
I was pretending as a cover-up.

1269
01:19:35,588 --> 01:19:36,755
Brilliant!

1270
01:19:36,922 --> 01:19:39,380
Bianchini, I need a hand here.

1271
01:19:39,963 --> 01:19:42,505
Coming!
Thanks, Marisa.

1272
01:19:43,297 --> 01:19:45,672
We'll have a rematch in Rome.

1273
01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:46,880
Sure.

1274
01:19:49,922 --> 01:19:52,713
- The window.
- Sleep, Tozzi...

1275
01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:56,255
What were you whispering about?

1276
01:19:56,547 --> 01:19:59,088
Nothing, she was just rambling.

1277
01:19:59,213 --> 01:20:01,005
Poor thing.

1278
01:20:01,088 --> 01:20:06,130
Hurry, we have dinner
with the Ambassador at 9:00 PM.

1279
01:20:07,255 --> 01:20:08,630
Thank you.

1280
01:20:08,755 --> 01:20:11,380
You saved the "government of change".

1281
01:20:11,505 --> 01:20:13,255
- Can I say something?
- Affirmative!

1282
01:20:13,422 --> 01:20:16,922
- Who gives a shit?
- Negative!

1283
01:21:00,255 --> 01:21:01,297
Now what?

1284
01:21:01,630 --> 01:21:04,338
I came to apologize,
these are for you.

1285
01:21:05,088 --> 01:21:07,297
Give them to your wife, forget about me!

1286
01:21:07,547 --> 01:21:09,380
No, Berta, let me explain.

1287
01:21:10,713 --> 01:21:13,047
Everything I did
was to save the government.

1288
01:21:13,547 --> 01:21:16,505
Now I want to save something
I care more about.

1289
01:21:16,630 --> 01:21:18,172
My future with you.

1290
01:21:48,130 --> 01:21:49,422
Mr. President!

1291
01:21:49,922 --> 01:21:53,547
Doctor? Where are we?
Is this your hospital?

1292
01:21:53,797 --> 01:21:57,505
I'm not a doctor, I'm your husband,
the Prime Minister.

1293
01:21:57,922 --> 01:21:58,922
Sure...

1294
01:22:00,297 --> 01:22:01,547
Come on, let's go.

1295
01:22:01,755 --> 01:22:02,672
Mr. President...

1296
01:22:02,755 --> 01:22:04,047
Hear them?

1297
01:22:04,588 --> 01:22:06,963
I'm Prime Minister
and you're the First Lady.

1298
01:22:07,380 --> 01:22:08,255
Who?

1299
01:22:08,380 --> 01:22:10,213
Let's go, it's cold.

1300
01:22:23,963 --> 01:22:26,297
We spent our honeymoon in Venice.

1301
01:22:27,255 --> 01:22:29,963
The President is happy to meet you,

1302
01:22:30,172 --> 01:22:33,172
he hopes these three days
will reinforce the friendship

1303
01:22:33,255 --> 01:22:36,380
and the financial partnership
between Hungary and Italy,

1304
01:22:36,463 --> 01:22:40,463
a country he loves, where he spent
his honeymoon ages ago.

1305
01:22:41,505 --> 01:22:43,922
He said all that in four words?

1306
01:22:44,130 --> 01:22:46,338
It's a Magyar custom.

1307
01:22:48,547 --> 01:22:50,797
Please, Mr. President...

1308
01:22:50,963 --> 01:22:52,463
- Doctor...
- Wait till they leave.

1309
01:22:52,547 --> 01:22:55,047
They're leaving... Doctor?

1310
01:22:55,255 --> 01:22:58,505
- I need a drink.
- But don't wander off.

1311
01:22:58,630 --> 01:23:01,422
You don't know
where you are and might get lost.

1312
01:23:04,005 --> 01:23:07,005
Mr. President? This is my girlfriend,

1313
01:23:07,547 --> 01:23:08,963
Berta Molnar.

1314
01:23:09,338 --> 01:23:12,838
- An honor, Your Excellency.
- Thanks. What a lovely lady.

1315
01:23:13,047 --> 01:23:14,630
Berta and I are getting married.

1316
01:23:15,213 --> 01:23:18,338
Married? I didn't even know
you were engaged.

1317
01:23:19,005 --> 01:23:21,380
We met this morning
and just decided.

1318
01:23:22,005 --> 01:23:23,963
You are amazing!

1319
01:23:24,422 --> 01:23:25,838
On a day like today,

1320
01:23:26,005 --> 01:23:29,297
you had time to meet her,
become an item, and propose?

1321
01:23:29,463 --> 01:23:30,880
I'll nod.

1322
01:23:31,547 --> 01:23:34,005
What's wrong? Hands off.

1323
01:23:34,338 --> 01:23:36,380
Giulia's husband, the thug!

1324
01:23:37,672 --> 01:23:39,838
- They made up.
- They made up...

1325
01:23:39,922 --> 01:23:43,130
But if he knows I'm Bianchini,
I'll need the wheelchair!

1326
01:23:43,255 --> 01:23:46,380
- Honey, let's go.
- But we just got here.

1327
01:23:46,505 --> 01:23:48,547
- Let's stay for 10 minutes.
- I can't.

1328
01:23:48,630 --> 01:23:51,088
My world might end in 10 minutes.

1329
01:23:51,380 --> 01:23:52,922
Walter, wait!

1330
01:23:53,463 --> 01:23:57,338
Relax, don't worry,
he'll be back.

1331
01:23:57,463 --> 01:23:59,172
He will.

1332
01:24:02,005 --> 01:24:03,630
Who's that in the white tux?

1333
01:24:04,088 --> 01:24:06,963
Walter Bianchini, the guy
you thought was my lover.

1334
01:24:07,588 --> 01:24:11,297
Just look at him,
I'd never sleep with a guy like that!

1335
01:24:12,380 --> 01:24:14,588
Cookie? Are you dancing?

1336
01:24:14,922 --> 01:24:17,963
- I'm so glad you're here.
- I'm going back to the hotel.

1337
01:24:18,297 --> 01:24:22,005
I'll come back to room 650 with you,
Franco will be here till late.

1338
01:24:22,297 --> 01:24:24,297
Hello, Mrs. Rispoli.

1339
01:24:24,422 --> 01:24:27,713
Hello.
Do I know you?

1340
01:24:28,213 --> 01:24:31,213
I saw you in the closet
at the hotel,

1341
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:33,963
but we weren't introduced.

1342
01:24:34,422 --> 01:24:37,505
Berta Molnar. Walter's future wife.

1343
01:24:39,130 --> 01:24:43,130
- Really?
- Really. I kept it bottled up.

1344
01:24:43,255 --> 01:24:45,922
You bottle things up too much.

1345
01:24:46,130 --> 01:24:49,588
Very well, then.
Congratulations to you both.

1346
01:24:51,838 --> 01:24:54,172
- What was that?
- She's crazy.

1347
01:24:54,463 --> 01:24:58,005
I was a bit brutal with him
at the Grand Hotel earlier.

1348
01:24:58,297 --> 01:24:59,922
I'll go apologize.

1349
01:25:02,130 --> 01:25:04,172
God, here he comes.
Hide me.

1350
01:25:04,338 --> 01:25:07,130
He wants to kill me.
See you at the hotel in 30 minutes.

1351
01:25:07,297 --> 01:25:09,338
I'll find a way to get back.

1352
01:25:12,172 --> 01:25:13,672
Bianchini!

1353
01:25:21,255 --> 01:25:23,005
Where are you going?

1354
01:25:28,422 --> 01:25:29,422
Bianchini, wait!

1355
01:25:38,838 --> 01:25:40,047
Bianchini!

1356
01:25:41,838 --> 01:25:43,255
Stop running!

1357
01:25:46,630 --> 01:25:47,838
Bianchini!

1358
01:25:59,672 --> 01:26:01,713
Please, don't kill me!

1359
01:26:02,047 --> 01:26:05,047
I'll tell you the whole truth,
every single detail.

1360
01:26:05,297 --> 01:26:08,088
A toast to two great nations,

1361
01:26:09,172 --> 01:26:11,297
and I will make it my mission

1362
01:26:11,422 --> 01:26:17,213
to support the needs, the appeals,
and the ambitions of Hungary.

1363
01:26:18,047 --> 01:26:20,713
Prosit, and I wish you all

1364
01:26:21,088 --> 01:26:22,713
a Merry Christmas.

1365
01:26:23,005 --> 01:26:24,713
- Prosit!
- Prosit!

1366
01:26:24,838 --> 01:26:27,422
Pay no attention to this man's promises.

1367
01:26:29,213 --> 01:26:33,713
Mr. President, you're a fake,
manipulating liar.

1368
01:26:34,172 --> 01:26:38,422
Shame on you!
You took advantage of a state mission

1369
01:26:38,922 --> 01:26:41,255
to have a fling with my wife,

1370
01:26:41,922 --> 01:26:45,255
the sordid opposition Senator,
Giulia Rossi.

1371
01:26:45,505 --> 01:26:48,547
- Roberto, what are you saying?
- The truth.

1372
01:26:48,630 --> 01:26:51,338
- Are you nuts?
- I have a witness.

1373
01:26:51,755 --> 01:26:52,755
Bianchini?

1374
01:26:52,922 --> 01:26:56,672
- Bianchini is truly faithful.
- But you're not faithful.

1375
01:26:57,172 --> 01:26:58,838
Shame on you!

1376
01:26:59,130 --> 01:27:02,755
Bianchini told me the whole truth,
every single detail.

1377
01:27:03,172 --> 01:27:05,380
Two rooms, scaffolding,

1378
01:27:05,505 --> 01:27:08,672
lavish tips for the staff,
oysters and champagne!

1379
01:27:09,213 --> 01:27:11,422
- What?
- Is this true?

1380
01:27:12,047 --> 01:27:15,380
- Are you talking to me or the doctor?
- Knock it off.

1381
01:27:15,547 --> 01:27:19,130
I never lost my memory.
And you're a louse!

1382
01:27:19,505 --> 01:27:23,255
Betraying me in front of everyone
on our wedding anniversary!

1383
01:27:23,630 --> 01:27:25,088
Marisa, wait...

1384
01:27:26,547 --> 01:27:27,588
It's true.

1385
01:27:27,838 --> 01:27:30,838
- It's true but not true.
- Who are you, Pirandello?

1386
01:27:31,005 --> 01:27:34,922
No, but I am a man
who lives a life of hell.

1387
01:27:35,588 --> 01:27:39,547
Deficit, bid-ask spread, pensions,
unemployment, unions!

1388
01:27:39,630 --> 01:27:43,880
Merkel, the polls, Di Maio and Salvini!

1389
01:27:44,005 --> 01:27:48,297
What else can I do
but seek out a little intrigue?

1390
01:27:48,505 --> 01:27:51,338
Where does one find a little intrigue?
At work.

1391
01:27:51,422 --> 01:27:55,547
The woman in question
has a husband with a minor dysfunction.

1392
01:27:55,838 --> 01:27:59,713
I know this all sounds
rather morally inappropriate

1393
01:27:59,922 --> 01:28:02,172
but we're humans!

1394
01:28:02,338 --> 01:28:06,088
But in my defense, we never
went further than the thought.

1395
01:28:06,963 --> 01:28:09,963
Yes, this woman and I
never did anything.

1396
01:28:10,338 --> 01:28:12,547
It's true, nothing happened.

1397
01:28:12,672 --> 01:28:15,463
In the end, life is like politics,

1398
01:28:15,630 --> 01:28:18,297
all talk, no actions.

1399
01:28:18,380 --> 01:28:21,130
Well, let me tell you something...

1400
01:28:21,213 --> 01:28:24,755
Talk, my foot,
unlike you I am all action.

1401
01:28:24,922 --> 01:28:26,963
- How so?
- I cheated on you.

1402
01:28:27,172 --> 01:28:30,505
- What?
- Yes, this afternoon. Around 6:00 p.m.

1403
01:28:31,297 --> 01:28:33,380
But not with thoughts, or real.

1404
01:28:33,463 --> 01:28:35,088
I'll let the world know,

1405
01:28:35,297 --> 01:28:38,755
because I am a woman of action!

1406
01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:41,297
Action with who?

1407
01:28:41,963 --> 01:28:45,213
With Walter Bianchini,
in room 650.

1408
01:28:49,297 --> 01:28:51,422
Walter? Monster!

1409
01:28:52,838 --> 01:28:54,672
Berta, believe me,
it's a misunderstanding.

1410
01:28:54,922 --> 01:28:59,588
You can tell the truth now,
no need to hide, admit it.

1411
01:28:59,797 --> 01:29:02,672
You love me and kept it bottled up.

1412
01:29:02,838 --> 01:29:05,713
Bianchini? Back to the boondocks,
you're fired.

1413
01:29:07,005 --> 01:29:09,963
- You're fired as my husband.
- You're fired as my wife.

1414
01:29:10,172 --> 01:29:11,672
We never fuck anyway.

1415
01:29:13,672 --> 01:29:17,422
I will topple the government with this.

1416
01:29:25,630 --> 01:29:29,172
Figures,
I'm all over the gossip rags.

1417
01:29:44,713 --> 01:29:46,172
Wait, don't do it!

1418
01:29:51,380 --> 01:29:53,672
Bianchini?
What are you doing?

1419
01:29:53,963 --> 01:29:55,880
Killing myself... Why live?

1420
01:29:56,713 --> 01:29:59,880
I've lost it all:
job, woman, even my dignity.

1421
01:30:00,213 --> 01:30:02,005
Think about your mom.

1422
01:30:02,297 --> 01:30:04,047
All the more reason to die.

1423
01:30:04,713 --> 01:30:08,922
Don't! If anyone
should be jumping it's me.

1424
01:30:09,255 --> 01:30:12,255
Disgraced and mocked
internationally.

1425
01:30:12,672 --> 01:30:16,505
I wonder what the polls will say!
My career is over.

1426
01:30:17,047 --> 01:30:18,963
- Let's jump together.
- No!

1427
01:30:19,088 --> 01:30:21,755
What... No. No.

1428
01:30:23,088 --> 01:30:25,672
A politician shows his true colors
in hard times.

1429
01:30:28,672 --> 01:30:29,838
Idea!

1430
01:30:30,463 --> 01:30:33,130
- I have an idea.
- Not again!

1431
01:30:33,422 --> 01:30:37,755
I could move up in the polls,
but I'll need your help.

1432
01:30:38,088 --> 01:30:40,338
I already did enough for today.

1433
01:30:40,672 --> 01:30:43,963
After everything that happened
with my wife, you owe me.

1434
01:30:44,255 --> 01:30:48,588
Nothing happened with your wife.
I swear it on my almost-over life.

1435
01:30:48,672 --> 01:30:52,213
Ever since the Renzi let-down,
I've been truly faithful to you.

1436
01:30:52,422 --> 01:30:54,588
- Truly faithful? Then prove it.
- Yes!

1437
01:30:54,797 --> 01:30:56,880
I can't, you fired me.
- You're re-hired.

1438
01:30:57,130 --> 01:30:59,755
At your service! What can I do?

1439
01:31:04,422 --> 01:31:05,672
Be my lover.

1440
01:31:06,672 --> 01:31:07,672
I'll jump.

1441
01:31:07,755 --> 01:31:09,463
You don't understand.

1442
01:31:09,672 --> 01:31:12,172
- I sure do.
- My fake lover.

1443
01:31:13,005 --> 01:31:17,255
Let me explain it: I'll write a tweet
admitting the whole truth:

1444
01:31:17,880 --> 01:31:20,547
I'm gay and tried to cover it up

1445
01:31:20,713 --> 01:31:23,088
by courting Senator Giulia Rossi.

1446
01:31:24,505 --> 01:31:28,297
But I love and have always loved
only one man:

1447
01:31:28,922 --> 01:31:29,963
Walter Bianchini!

1448
01:31:30,172 --> 01:31:32,922
- Hush.
- All of Budapest must know.

1449
01:31:33,088 --> 01:31:35,172
- Not all of Budapest!
- And Italy, too.

1450
01:31:35,713 --> 01:31:37,130
How's that sound?

1451
01:31:37,880 --> 01:31:39,713
- Awful.
- What?

1452
01:31:40,005 --> 01:31:41,755
Don't you get it?

1453
01:31:41,963 --> 01:31:45,255
This way the liberal media
will be on our side.

1454
01:31:46,088 --> 01:31:49,130
We'll be invited to every talk show,
it'll be great.

1455
01:31:49,422 --> 01:31:52,838
People will love me
and feel for me.

1456
01:31:52,963 --> 01:31:56,338
You'll see, I'll shoot up
like a missile in the polls.

1457
01:31:57,505 --> 01:31:59,505
- I'd rather jump.
- No!

1458
01:32:00,172 --> 01:32:03,213
Actually, go ahead, it's not a bad idea.

1459
01:32:03,630 --> 01:32:06,797
Not a bad idea at all,
the headlines will read:

1460
01:32:07,338 --> 01:32:10,880
"Heartbroken lover
jumps to his demise,

1461
01:32:11,380 --> 01:32:14,588
leaving the President with teary eyes."

1462
01:32:15,172 --> 01:32:17,130
It's good, it rhymes, too.

1463
01:32:17,838 --> 01:32:22,047
What am I saying?
You should live.

1464
01:32:22,422 --> 01:32:27,797
Giulia is right for saying
that life and politics

1465
01:32:28,130 --> 01:32:29,838
are the same shit.

1466
01:32:30,255 --> 01:32:33,380
But in both cases,

1467
01:32:33,755 --> 01:32:37,838
there's always room for compromises.

1468
01:32:38,213 --> 01:32:39,838
You said fake lover...

1469
01:32:40,088 --> 01:32:42,463
I'm just warming up.

1470
01:32:42,713 --> 01:32:45,505
Bianchini,
why am I calling you Bianchini?

1471
01:32:45,838 --> 01:32:49,338
Walter, I'll call you by your first name.
It's better!

1472
01:32:50,838 --> 01:32:53,380
Come on, Walter,
trust me.

1473
01:32:54,463 --> 01:32:58,380
- Isn't this grand?
- I wonder how mom will react?

1474
01:32:58,588 --> 01:33:01,797
I'm sure she'll react fine.
Just relax.

1475
01:33:02,088 --> 01:33:04,463
I'm not relaxed at all.

1476
01:33:04,797 --> 01:33:09,255
- Walter, moms understand these things.
- No!

1477
01:33:09,422 --> 01:33:11,213
So, you and Senator Rossi...

1478
01:33:11,380 --> 01:33:14,005
Nada, zilch, nothing...

1479
01:33:14,380 --> 01:33:17,547
- Because you'd already fallen for me?
- Give me a break!

1480
01:33:17,672 --> 01:33:19,630
Blue balls and a white Christmas.

1481
01:33:19,838 --> 01:33:21,588
- It's snowing.
- Real romantic!

1482
01:33:21,797 --> 01:33:22,922
Sure thing...