Toilet Paper Splatfest Transcription

Pearl: Yo Marina. What's the Splatfest theme
this time?

Marina: Haaaaah... I'm too nervous to look.
You do it.

Pearl: Fine. The Splatfest theme is...
WHAT?

Marina: What is it, Pearlie? What's the theme?!
TELL MEEEEE!

Pearl: OK, here it comes...

Marina: *gulp*

Pearl: The splatfest theme is...

Marina: It's the age-old debate: which way
round should the toilet roll hang?!

Pearl: Huh? What kind of question is that?
There's legit only one right way!

Pearl: I mean, who even hangs it behind the roll?
Are they TRYING to be awkward?

Marina: Uh, excuse me? I think you'll find it
looks neater and is far safer, Pearl.

Marina: Dangling it front like that is just asking
for a cat to unroll it all over the floor.

Pearl: ...You think Judd could be bothered to
unravel a whole toilet roll? Really?

Marina: Maybe not Judd... But what about
Li'l Judd? I'm not sure I trust him.

Marina: That sweet angelic smile unnerves me.
It's always the cute ones, you know...

Pearl: Sure, but, uh...have you SEEN Li'l Judd?
I bet he couldn't even reach the roll!

Marina: Maybe, maybe not. I'm just not willing
to take THAT particular risk.

Pearl: Fine, fine. Whatever makes you happy.
But your raging paranoia aside...

Pearl: There's no denying that front-rolling is
the most natural choice is all areas.

Pearl: When's the last time anyone tried to ink
their turf rolling backwards, huh?

Pearl: Speaking of, just wait! My team's gonna
roller all over yours! Literally!

Marina: Uh huh, wanna bet? I know I'm not
alone in being right about this!

Marina: So folks, hurry on down to the
Splatfest terminal and pick a side!