NameIsJolly

Freshman

May 16th, 2012
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  1. >Be freshman in high school
  2. >Socially awkward as fuck
  3. >Have no idea what to say to anyone
  4. >Have no real friends
  5. >One day: fuck it
  6. >Go down to the park after school to see if there's anyone you kinda know
  7. >No one you really know, but there are a bunch of skater punks picking on fluffy ponies
  8. >You sit down on a bench, watching from afar
  9. >One fluffy pony is beaten to death with a skateboard
  10. >Ugh
  11. >Another is set on fire and stomped out
  12. >Worst part is, the stomping put out the fire, and the fluffy pony died thanking its murderers for "saving it"
  13. >You wanna throw up
  14. >The skater kids notice you and start hassling you
  15. >Shit, you've gotta improvise
  16. >You somehow manage to wave your way through the conversation and actually gain their slight favor
  17. >You follow them around the park to the skating area and watch them dick around, talking with some non-skating ones on another bench
  18. >Is this what having friends is like?
  19. >This is great!
  20. >One of the skater punks finds another stray fluffy pony
  21. >He hands it to you
  22. >"Hahaa, kill it."
  23. >IMPROVISE
  24. "Uhh, how?"
  25. >"Heh, I dunno, just think of something funny."
  26. >You look down at the pony
  27. >"Pway?"
  28. >Do it quick
  29. >You reach around its neck and start to twist
  30. >...come on...
  31. >"Why fwein' huwt fwuffy! Fwuffy gif' owies!!" it shrieks
  32. >Ow! You pull your hand away
  33. >"What's wrong?"
  34. "It bit me!" you mutter in your weakness
  35. >You show them your thumb, which now has a tiny callous on it
  36. >Everyone laughs
  37. >You set down the fluffy pony which is promptly stomped to death
  38. >You're laughed out of the park
  39. >Go home
  40. >Kill yourself
  41. >Get on the news
  42. >You become the face of PETA's new anti-fluffy-abuse ad campaign
  43. >Not a single fuck was given for your weak ass
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