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- >Be freshman in high school
- >Socially awkward as fuck
- >Have no idea what to say to anyone
- >Have no real friends
- >One day: fuck it
- >Go down to the park after school to see if there's anyone you kinda know
- >No one you really know, but there are a bunch of skater punks picking on fluffy ponies
- >You sit down on a bench, watching from afar
- >One fluffy pony is beaten to death with a skateboard
- >Ugh
- >Another is set on fire and stomped out
- >Worst part is, the stomping put out the fire, and the fluffy pony died thanking its murderers for "saving it"
- >You wanna throw up
- >The skater kids notice you and start hassling you
- >Shit, you've gotta improvise
- >You somehow manage to wave your way through the conversation and actually gain their slight favor
- >You follow them around the park to the skating area and watch them dick around, talking with some non-skating ones on another bench
- >Is this what having friends is like?
- >This is great!
- >One of the skater punks finds another stray fluffy pony
- >He hands it to you
- >"Hahaa, kill it."
- >IMPROVISE
- "Uhh, how?"
- >"Heh, I dunno, just think of something funny."
- >You look down at the pony
- >"Pway?"
- >Do it quick
- >You reach around its neck and start to twist
- >...come on...
- >"Why fwein' huwt fwuffy! Fwuffy gif' owies!!" it shrieks
- >Ow! You pull your hand away
- >"What's wrong?"
- "It bit me!" you mutter in your weakness
- >You show them your thumb, which now has a tiny callous on it
- >Everyone laughs
- >You set down the fluffy pony which is promptly stomped to death
- >You're laughed out of the park
- >Go home
- >Kill yourself
- >Get on the news
- >You become the face of PETA's new anti-fluffy-abuse ad campaign
- >Not a single fuck was given for your weak ass
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