Starship Shinonome Pilot

Starship Shinonome

Pilot

[INT. SHINONOME LABORATORIES]
NANO is fast asleep. The clock reads 4:59.
HAKASE: (off-screen) NANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NANO: (groggily heading to HAKASE's room) Hakase, it's four in the morning, what do you want?
HAKASE: I want snacks!
NANO: Isn't it a bit early?
HAKASE: Do I look like I care?
NANO: Drop the attitude, Hakase, I'm not getting you snacks.
HAKASE: I won't ask again.
NANO: Hakase...
HAKASE: Nano. Give me snacks.
NANO: That's it. (unplugs the television in HAKASE's room) You're grounded. No more TV for a month.
HAKASE: Nano!
NANO: And you can forget about having any snacks during then!
HAKASE: I didn't wanna have to do this, Nano.
HAKASE walks over and opens a hidden compartment with a big red button on it.
NANO: Hakase, you better not be bombing my school again!
HAKASE: (chuckles) Even better.
HAKASE pushes the button. Suddenly, an earthquake shakes everything in the house and wakes up SAKAMOTO.
NANO: Hakase, what did you just do?
SAKAMOTO: Dang it Hakase, it's four in the morning WHAT THE HECK?!
Cut to the outside of the house. Rockets extend from the walls, and the house slowly rises as the rockets blast the biggest flames known to man.
HAKASE: (opening the curtains to a black, starry sky) Pretty neat, huh?
NANO: (fuming, with steam coming from her ears) Hakase... just wait until mom and dad hear about this!
HAKASE and SAKAMOTO looks at NANO unamused.
NANO: Oh, right. Well you're still grounded. I'm turning this house around-
HAKASE: DISABLE!!!
NANO stops dead in her tracks, her limbs freezing up.
NANO: Hakase you are so dead!!!
HAKASE laughs as NANO struggles to move. After a solid minute, HAKASE walks over to the control panel.
NANO: Hakase, what are you doing?
HAKASE: I'm charting a course for Fritonion-L, the planet with the best snacks in the galaxy!
SAKAMOTO: A snack planet? Seriously? Come up with something original, Justin Roiland.
NANO: I said no snacks, Hakase! When this is over I'm selling your TV!
The house flies over to the aforementioned planet, where HAKASE grabs bags of Lays, Funyuns, and Flamin' Hot Cheetos growing from vines and brings them back to the house, which blasts off again.
NANO: (exasperated) I-I give up. You win, Hakase. You can plug the TV back in.
HAKASE plugs the TV back in and turns it on to static.
NANO: (smug) Ha haha ha ha HA! You're in space, Hakase, which means the cable box doesn't work anymore, which means you won't be watching TV ever! What will you eat your precious snacks to now?
HAKASE: (turning off the TV) Good question Nano! ENABLE!!!
HAKASE pushes a bunch of buttons on the control panel, and then steps outside to a solid-colorful landscape.

[EXT. GABBA LAND]
HAKASE, NANO, and SAKAMOTO step out of the house.
NANO: What the heck?! Is this... Yo Gabba Gabbaland!?
HAKASE: Yeah! I just found this on my galactic map a couple days ago!
SAKAMOTO: You're really determined to avoid consequences for your actions, aren't you kid?
The trio wander around a bit before they catch FOOFA, MUNO, and PLEX talking to an overweight BROBEE.
PLEX: Now, Brobee, what did I tell you about eating too many ultra-processed foods?
BROBEE: That it would make me bigger and give me heart disease... but I can't help it! Chips are too yummy! It'd be a waste to not eat them!
FOOFA: Chips are made of potatoes, right? What if, instead of eating chips, you could eat baked potatoes?
MUNO: Yeah, and you can stuff them full of healthy foods like green onion and cheese and bacon!
BROBEE: Hey... that does sound more yummy than chips!
PLEX: Well don't eat it right now! You still need to let your tummy settle first!
BROBEE: You're right, Plex. My tummy's pretty sore. I probably should wait this one out.
HAKASE: Oh my goodness...
NANO: And that's what happens when you eat too many snacks. Did you learn something, Hakase?
HAKASE: I sure did. If you eat too many healthy foods you'll end up a pompous buttface like Plex.
NANO facepalms.
SAKAMOTO: I bet "snack planet"'s gonna give this kid diabetes in three days.
HAKASE, NANO, and SAKAMOTO walk back to the house as the credits roll.