Part 2

The skies above Hogwarts were dark as pitch as you find yourself in the comfort of the Courtyard. You tried to drown out the sounds of indistinct conversation as you attempted to process the events of the day. A lingering sting remained in your chest as you struggled to keep your hands steady, the taste on your lip serving as a memento of your sin. There were no scapegoats, no justification for your transgression, and you understood you must face judgement. You couldn't keep avoiding her forever.

"Goddamn.." you whispered to yourself with a sigh. What were you going to say to Merula next time you spoke? To Penny? What if a fellow student had seen you and Penny? You tugged at the collar of your shirt feeling as if your next breath might be your last.

You rehearsed the words you would say to Merula as you stood up from the stone seat and dusted yourself off. You began for the Slytherin Common Room with each consecutive step feeling more unsteady than the last. Your latest argument with Merula was unquestionably the worst  in the short time you've been dating, and every fellow Slytherin witnessed first hand just how rocky your relationship was. There was no such thing as a private argument to Merula. In fact, it was some sort of miracle that Snape hadn't docked house points for the disruptions the two of you have made in public.

Walking down the staircase towards the dimly lit dungeon which housed the Slytherin common room you felt as if your body had become gelatinous. Every limb in your body shook as you placed your hand on the door and pushed revealing the site you ran away from just hours prior. Immediately, you felt the piercing stare of your housemates as they glanced at who disturbed the silence of the room. Your eyes met a first year student's as they quickly looked back at the literature they were previously focused on. To your relief you failed to spot the disheveled hair of the girl you had to face.

"Shes been looking for you," you hear a voice say as you quickly realized it was Rowan.

"I figured," you muttered "Where did she go?"

The dark haired boy pointed to the corner of the room where Merula sat alone, focused on studying once again. Suddenly you felt the stinging sensation return to your heart rendering you momentary motionless as you realized Merula knew you didn't spend the afternoon with Rowan as you previously mentioned.

"Hey you alright man?" The boy asked, his words failing to register in your mind as you made your way towards your girlfriend.

Despite your distance from her, your footsteps caught her attention as she turned around and faced you. Her stare paralyzing you on the spot, the look of sheer abhorrence in her violet eyes as she stood up from her seat and began to walk towards you. You felt your eyes grow wide as the girl grabbed you by your collar.

"What the fuck did you do with her?" Merula demanded through clenched teeth, trying desperately to keep herself from yelling and causing another scene.

"Please calm down and let me explain," you reply as calmly as you possibly could.

"You better have a good explanation or I swear you'll regret ever getting close to me," she responds as she lets go of your collar with a shove.

"I never intended to spend the day with Penny. When I went to Hogsmeade I fully expected Rowan and Ben to join us," you began to explain feeling your mouth get increasingly dry with each word. "Penny told me that Ben got into an accident while practicing his flying techniques and Rowan accompanied him to the hospital wing. I swear to you that's what happened and you can even ask Rowan yourself if you don't believe me."

Not satisfied, you see the scowl on the young witch's face remain. "I asked you, what did you do with that bitch today?" she repeats.

With her command you felt as if the world around you was about to collapse. You realize each word that would come out of your mouth was going to be nothing but a lie. No amount of preparation could ready you for this moment and you began to entertain the thought your relationship was about to end. With a deep breath you began to speak.

"We were at the Three Broomsticks getting butterbeers. When we were there we talked about how studying was going and what we were going to do about the next vault," you explain. Digging your nails into your palms you continued, "Following that, we went down to Zonko's looking at all the different gags and pranks, talking about how funny it would be to get Snape with one of them."

"You were gone the whole afternoon though. You expect me to believe all of that took hours?" she questioned you.

"After we left Hogsmeade, I wandered around Hogwarts for a bit and hid out in the library. I...I thought it would be for the best to spend some time away letting things cool down between us after earlier," you reply. Desperately trying to continue your lie, cross checking in your mind for any possible faults in your story. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for handling the day the way I did," realizing you were asking for forgiveness for far more than she knew.

The scowl on her face softened as you believed she accepted your story. "You shouldn't be sorry," she whispers. "The way I acted towards  you today, I'm a monster."

Her forgiveness stung worse in your heart more than her fury. You wanted to admit your sin, but decided otherwise. You struggled to process your words as you place a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"No you aren't," you say as you tried to comfort Merula. "And I forgive you for what happened today."

"How could you just forgive me like that?" she says with a crack in her voice. "I abused you, I keep you away from your friends, and I know you aren't happy," she continued as you see teardrops running down her face smearing her eyeshadow.

"Because nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes and do things we wish we could take back" you explain as you pull Merula close and embraced her, the feeling of guilt in your stomach becoming so overwhelming you felt as if you were going to be sick. "What matters is we learn from our mistakes." You finish as you realized you could no longer determine if you were talking about her or yourself.

"I don't deserve you," Merula replies sobbing into your robes. "You deserve to be happy and all we ever do is fight with one another."

"You deserve to be happy too you know that?" running your hands through your hair slowly in an attempt to comfort her. "And I don't like when we fight either. I want you to be happy, I want us to be happy together."

"Do you really think we can?" she asks between sobs.

"I do. And we'll take things a day at a time together. You know I love you Merula, no matter what," you reply holding her tighter, realizing each moment shared with her like this might be the last.

"I love you too"

The feelings of guilt and shame remained in your mind as you knew you still had to deal with Penny. There was no changing your actions, but as you look down at the girl in your arms you realize how fortunate you truly are and why you fell in love with her in the first place. Your relationship was far from perfect, but in that moment you felt what perfection could be.