Love passes, but things are forever (Challenge No.15 winner)

RevMe, February 22, 2013; 14:45 / FB 9259
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Season 1X, Episode 8 Script

My little pony.... ah ah ah ah ah!!!

We open with the mane six standing around Canterlot. As is her style, Twilight is holding a cigarette with her wing. She takes a deep drag.

FLUTTERSHY: It sure is neat that Princess Celestia made us all alicorn princesses! I sure love having a horn.

Fluttershy then makes a bowl of salad appear in front of Angel Bunny who was also there, why not.

TWILIGHT: Yeah, it's great. Whatever.

APPLEJACK: Ah agree, Fluttershy, but while it's nice to be immortal, I sure am gonna be sad when we outlive our siblings.

Shining Armor trots up.

SHINING ARMOR: I agree -- I wish I could live forever with you, Twily!

TWILIGHT: SHUT UP SHINING ARMOR NOPONY LIKES YOU!

SHINING ARMOR: ...but... Cadence likes me...

TWILIGHT: Yeah, but ever since she was caught selling her Crystal subjects to dragons as snacks to finance her gigantic horseshoe collection, nopony likes her much either.

SPIKE: They sure were delicious though. It's the best parts of eating gems AND ponies!

Twilight takes another long, long drag on her cigarette. She narrows her eyes as if having a migraine.

RARITY: Shining Armor aside, it will be sad to outlive our little sisters, the Cutie Mark Crusaders...

TWILIGHT: Ugh, I GUESS, except they must be like, functionally retarded or something. I mean, it's been TWENTY YEARS]/i] and they still don't have their cutie marks.

RAINBOW DASH: Ha ha, yeah -- and speaking of functionally retarded...

A fluffy pony toddles up.

FLUFFY: Hewwo ponee fwends!

FLUTTERSHY: Ugh, [i]what?

FLUFFY: Do yu wan gu on vencha wit fwuffy?

TWILIGHT: Hey, come here I got somethin' for you.

The fluffy pony waddles over to Princess Twilight who's taking another drag on her cigarette. By the time the fluffy gets over there, she's got a huge lungful -- which she exhales right in the Fluffy's face.

TWILIGHT: There, a gift from your princess.

SHINING ARMOR: That wasn't very nice, Twily...

TWILIGHT: OH MY GOD SHINING ARMOR JUST SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY GOD.

RARITY: Come here, Fluffy Darling. I will load you down with all sorts of lovely accessories which I am sure could be found at better shopping centers everywhere!

FWUFFY: Yaaaay! Fwuffy wuv aksessowees!

RARITY: As do I! As do all of us! That's why we all have so many, many things that would make us so very, very sad even if we were to not have even the smallest of these!

FWUFFY: Oooh, don' be saaad, Pwincess Wawitee! Fwuffy gib yuu ebweting fwuffy hab! HUGGIES!!!

The Fluffy hugs Rarity.

RARITY: Thank you, Fluffy, but that's not enough... Hugs are nice, but I need THINGS.

Fluffy sits and things.

FLUFFY: FWUFFY NO! FWUFFY AM TING! FWUFFY GIB YOU FWUFFY!!

RARITY: Oh, thank you! You are the best thing ever!

A flash occurs and the Fluffy disappears. After a second, the fluffy returns with Princess Celestia.

CELESTIA: Blah blah, princess now. Throw out all your old crap and buy new stuff that matches the show. Whatever.

TWILIGHT: Great, another princess. Hooray.

SHINING ARMOR: Princess Celestia... could... could I be an alicorn? I mean... I am married to one and I hate to think what would happen when I die and how... how sad Cadence would be...

CELESTIA: WHY DON'T YOU EVER SHUT UP TWILIGHT, DID YOU TELL THIS IDIOT TO SHUT THE HELL UP YET?

TWILIGHT: I KNOW IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVER GET THE HINT

CELESTIA and TWILIGHT: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE ALREADY SHINING ARMOR! NOPONY LIKES YOU!

FLUFFY: Fwuffy wike yu, shiny ama!

Fluttershy stomps the alicorn fluffy.

FLUTTERSHY: (unconvincingly) Oops.

FLUFFY: dat... otay... fwuffy... awicown.... fwuffy... imowta!

Fluttershy repeatedly stomps the fluffy.

FLUTTERSHY: Oops.

FLUFFY: Owwies! Buh wememba! Fwuffy abaiabwe in betta chopping centas ebwewhewe! Wit' aksessowees!

TWILIGHT: Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that I'm out of smokes. Pick me up a new pack when you get back from making more princesses. Your faithful student, yadda yadda.

END.