an Uncle Samsonite-inspired fanfic: Rule of Yeast

We turn our eye to a universe beyond our own, a dying universe. Long ago the being known only as the Party Freak was summoned here and with his anarchy-fueled and violent ways he soon began to lay this universe to ruin. A single man stood against him and when all hope seemed lost this man turned to an ancient deity on the same level as the freak.

The man stood with an ancient and tattered tome in his hand as he looked upon the summoning circle he had built, books and archaic knowledge gathered from across what was left of the universe as he bet everything on this single moment. He opened the tome and began to read in an ancient language, a song from time long forgotten. Not long after an orb of flesh formed in the center of the circle as the books that made it up were absorbed into it and soon...he had been summoned. The Yeast of Thoughts and Minds, an ancient and archaic being that both held and hungered for vast and incomprehensible knowledge, it stared at the young man as...the man began to speak.

"I have summoned you here for a purpose, my universe is in ruin and I have no other choice. In order to fight a monster...I need another monster. Even amongst your kind they all fear you, for you hold knowledge that I seek. The knowledge to lay the dark gods low and shunt them from their thrones.....I have nothing left, our universe is doomed, the Party Freak stands at the precipice of it all and I need your help."

The Yeast seemed to think of this young man's situation and consider it before saying in an ancient and rumbling voice. "This...intrigues me, I am no friend of the party freak but...there will always be a price to pay for such services. What can you offer me in order to fix this problem of yours?"

The man shook for a moment before saying without remorse or regret. "I offer you all the knowledge that is left in this universe as well as the universe itself and finally...my body as a vessel, I know that you, more than any of the other beings, require a strong and willful vessel to stay in the physical realm."

The Yeast laughed, an ancient and viscerally terrifying laugh that seemed to shake the very air around it. "Oh delightful, simply delightful, to so readily offer such a thing in such an unrepentant way....you intrigue me mortal, I shall grant your request. Speak my true name and we shall begin our great work together." The Yeast held out it's hand to the man as a long toothy grin appeared on it's face.

The Man grabbed onto the old god's hand, it's flesh clinging to his own in anticipation as he said without remorse. "Globglogabgalab, take my body as your own so we may lay low the Party Freak." The Yeast laughed as his entire body suddenly shunted itself onto the man, the man screamed as his body absorbed every ounce of the worm-like creature, his teeth sharpening to points, his skin turning pale, his ears reshaping into pointed elf-like ears as his eyes turned green and his hair white. What stood where the man once was, a grinning elf-like humanoid stood with a sadistic smirk upon his lips.

"Oh, this vessel is truly and utterly a treasure trove of possibilities, now let us take care of this Party Freak and claim this universe for our own." With that the Yeast, now in true physical form, left and began his plans in earnest. It all began with a few events here or there, a library's contents suddenly disappearing, one of the freak's cult suddenly going under and dying. All of these events piled up again and again, leading to a chain reaction that soon led to the Yeast appearing right at the Freak's doorstep.

See, the yeast was not as strong or as fast as the other gods but he more than made up for it with his vast intelligence and conniving ways with an ability to plan ahead like any other. He took advantage of the Freak's one track mind for anarchy and partying, slowly leading him across the universe from party to party, growing his power for the final trap that lay ahead. When finally the Yeast revealed himself to the freak it was all too late. He had spent years setting up an ancient ritual that predates even the old gods, a ritual that would prove to be the end of the freak's reign on this universe.

On the ancient home planet of The Man who gave himself to The Yeast, the plan unfolded. The Freak had been led there expecting the largest and greatest party the universe had ever known but instead found itself at the center of a vast network of runes and sigils, by the time The Yeast revealed himself and the Freak realized what was happening it was far too late. The Vast Ritual activated upon sensing the Freak's power and lashed out with energy, chaining and feeding on the power the freak had gained and growing ever stronger as The Yeast laughed. The Freak tried to lash out at The Yeast but before he could the ritual completed it's final objective.

The freak was cast out of the universe and banished to it's home dimension, screaming as it was dragged back to once it came. When all was done the Yeast looked at all he now had full power over and smiled. "It has been too long since I've had a realm to call my own, this is the beginning of a wonderful and truly delightful experience." The universe was quickly remade in The Yeast's image, becoming an extension of it's own realm and of it's power as it stretched from edge to edge. Anyone who was left was quickly reformed into a cultist that served only the Yeast and The Man served as a permanent and immortal avatar of it's power, making sure an ironhanded grip was kept on the Universe for all time.

The Yeast grew ever more powerful as it finished absorbing all knowledge from the universe and yet it hungered for more, turning it's eye to other universes, it began to seek those who lusted for knowledge as it did, seeking to soon take over those universes as well and grow it's power even as the other gods worked on their own projects in the background. So ends another tale involving these beings that exist beyond our understanding and imagination.