Japanese verbs of giving and receiving

JAPANESE VERBS OF GIVING AND RECEIVING

In English we have two verbs: to give and to receive. Simply beautiful in their efficiency- something for which the Japanese, ironically, are usually known.

Nope, this time around, it's the Japanese that have managed to convolute the whole operation, with five (5) (count 'em!) (no, not kidding) (I'm so sorry, please don't cry) verbs that translate to "to give." The variety speaks to the stratification of Japanese society and a whole bunch of cultural sensitivity crap; use the wrong one, and despite your best intentions you may end up sounding like a pretentious douche.

There are two factors that you need to consider: direction and status. You've got different verbs for giving to other people and giving to yourself; you also have to consider the relative statuses of the giver and give-ee- giving to a superior means a different verb choice than that of giving to a subordinate.

First off, particles:

GIVER wa GIVE-EE ni THING wo GIVE is the pattern. The particles shouldn't be very much of a surprise; here's one of the cases where the ni particle can be reliably translated to the word "to."*

Now, the verbs of giving. Prepare yourself.

WHEN SOMEONE IS GIVING TO YOU:

kureru - This is the generic "giving something to me" verb. Its literal meaning is "to lower;" it's the Japanese philosophy that all others are above you unless you want to sound like a prick, and so whenever someone gives to you from above, they're lowering it. Which is slightly creepy to the Western mind, but just get used to it.

When you use kureru, the target is automatically assumed to be you, so don't bother with a watashi ni.

kudasaru - This is a slightly more polite verb used when superiors give stuff to you; kureru is used when you're given to by your peers or by subordinates. And yes, it's the origin of kudasai.

WHEN SOMEONE IS GIVING TO SOMEONE THAT ISN'T YOU:

The giver can be you, i.e., you are giving to other people, or the giver can be someone else, i.e., one person gives to another person.

ageru - The generic "give" verb. It's used primarily for giving to your peers- if you give the leftover carrots from your lunch to your friend, that's ageru. Just like kureru literally means "lower," ageru means - you guessed it - "raise." Again, that Japanese courtesy of assuming all others are above you.

sashiageru - This verb is polite; it's used when you give to your superiors- your teachers, your bosses, your parents, your sugar daddies, whatever floats your boat. The sashi part is a prefix adding somewhat of an aura of politeness and humbleness, and it can be used with a few other select verbs.

yaru - This one is used for giving to your subordinates- and by that, I mean your really, really, subordinates. Not like intern subordinates, or underclassman subordinates, but more like your family pet subordinates, or the plants you grow on your desk subordinates. It's considered a tad rude to use yaru with a person on the receiving end; that being said, using ageru with your cat makes you kind of a crazy cat lady. Tread carefully, friend.

THE VERBS OF RECEIVING

There are only two this time around. Relax. Untuck your shirt. Kick off your socks. Take off your clothes.

morau - This one is the generic "to receive" verb. It works almost like the giving verbs particle-wise- RECEIVER wa GIVER kara RECEIVE. Just like in English, we use a from here, not a to. It's conveniently capable of being used in almost every situation, except...

itadaku - Surprise! You have a different verb when you receive from your superiors. This is the origin of itadakimasu. The more you know.

Ganbatte yo!

*Don't make this a habit, though.