Tacobot manifesto

GREETINGS, PEOPLE OF THE WORLD - WE ARE tacobot

There are many theories about us. That we’re kickhappy, kids, crazy low tours that saw one too many mvm speedruns. The truth is, we are all these things. Tacobot is a symbol, like the flag a country flies. The flag is the symbol of the country. Our robin walkers are our national identity. We are not Tacobot – we represent the ideals of Tacobot. F4, F1 and the removal of apes. Like any symbol, we affix it wherever we go, as you have seen from retryspams.

We have no leaders, civilians or soldiers. We are all one. We run operations because that is what the group decides to do. We choose kickinh apes because that is what the people who represent the ideals of Tacobot want to fight for. The MvM queue is in trouble. We see it every day – apes, idleing, airblst. Every day we are bombarded with pan drop notifications and loot screenshot images, as we sit at home safe in the knowledge that we are powerless, that “better” minds are dealing with the situation.

But what if you could be the change you want to see?
I’m 25 years old. I went to school and college. I fought for my country then got a job and paid my taxes. If you met me on the street I wouldn’t even register on your radar. I am just another person in a sea of faces.

But in mann up we are different. We helped free the non ape playerbase. We helped fight against gas apes as it attempted genocide. We exposed more than 50,000 paedophiles around the scrap.tf network. We fought the MvM clans. We have taken to the MvM servers to fight for the rights you are letting slip through your fingers.

We are Tacobot.

In today’s world we are seen as terrorists or at best dangerous nazis. We’re called “toxic” and “stupid” for hiding behind slippers, but who is the real poser? We take away the ape and leave only the carry. Behind the slippers we could be anyone, which is why we are judged by what we say and do, not who we are or what we have.

We exist without nationality, skin colour or religious bias.

You airblast to delay the waves, press F2 on idlers and try to make us believe it’s for our own good.
Yet we’re the dumbasses?

We spend our time within a website kicklist we created, the sum total of human experience spread throughout the world in ones and zeros. When CERN created the internet backbone,
the goal was to freely share knowledge and learning with others throughout the world.
You fear us because you do not understand us. You see the results but not the minds behind it. When we appeared on the dewill video you saw players being kicked, players like you
– the things which gas apes says didnt do anything wrong
– disappear into the main menu, but ask yourself
If we could do it so easily, what’s to stop someone else?

We kicked the animals and then publicly added them to a kicklist. Not a single non ape player was kicked. The purpose wasn’t kicking everyone but to show the world who you put your trust in. Every day you send yourself off into MvM - our world without a thought. You trust a 0 tour youtubers information about. We took advantage of holes in valves system, but we didn’t sneak in and retryspam everyones server, make retrybots, ddos casual servers. We told you and the world how ape the MvM queue was, and now you trust a bit less blindly. The real criminals that do 0 damage and never f4  are living live off the backs of people like you. Where there’s carry players, there’s someone looking to idle and take advantage of him. We had been telling Valve for years that the gas is ape and airblast is ape, but because they didn’t want to look weak they ignored us and allowed apes to abuse MvM without your knowledge.

Today’s biggest issues are really the same as ever and that is knowledge. In the steamcommunity an idle player would get kicked from a server, while the tacobot member that exposes and kicks the idler would get communitybanned. Even tacobot.tf on your username can face years in nameban, and for what?

A retryspam (distributed denial-of-apes-playing) is no worse than a virtual sit-in. If anything it’s better, because it requires no valve staff caring about the game or any form of external services. A retry begins and the timer goes down, the retry ends and the timer goes back up. The problem is that tacobots and carriers are portrayed as boogiemen. Not much has changed since the days of brutal pizza, imprisoned in gameban confinement because the Valve police thought he could airblast nuclear-missile launch codes inside a buster on top of a low tour player.

Today, apeism is everywhere, in airblast and gas, idle medics and soundsmith snipers and in 0 canteen engies. Apes rule the modern MvM world. Yet most people who play MvM every day don’t know what they’re doing.

You play MvM like it’s a toy, a game. You idle and F2 apes but the second anything goes wrong, it’s toxic. This wouldn’t matter so much if it wasn’t for the fact that your mann up server is responsible for the enjoyment of 5 other people.

Tako BellFan137 (his name is now public knowledge but I will continue to use his online handle), a church volunteer and student at Oxford english. He was sentenced to 18 months in communityban for “organising” a retryspam attack on GasApes that, the apes said, cost 3.5 tours. But what did he actually do, and what happened to the incomplete tours?

What he actually did was hang around MvM servers and forums encouraging as many people as possible to run a retryspam attack against gas apes in response to the apes spamming airblast, ildeing and spamming F2.
And what happened to the 3.5 tours that the apes “didnt get to play”? Nothing.

There was no tours completed. That amount of tours would not have been played by the apes incapable of finishing a single mission. It was a number pulled out of thin air, GasApes estimate of how much tourcount was lost during the retryspam accounted for being carried by Tako. This is like a carry being held accountable for the ape he kicked on last wave, because the carry should always play with everyone, even airblast gas apes. GasApes were not ready for this kind of protest against their precious ape passer. A bunch of people sitting in front of a computer managed to F1 a gas ape.

This is cleaning the MvM queue in its purest form. It is a great equaliser. A professional kicker at an internet cafe with the console and knowhow to retry can have geopolitical influence. They can bring entire gas ape lobbies, even boosted hightours, to their knees. You gave your MvM servers over to apes then complained when the tacobot kickers using the servers used the retry command to fight back.

We are not computer hackers. We are not idlers. We are not criminals. We are your mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, next-door neighbours.

We are anyone and everyone who is pissed off and wants to do something about it.

A Tacobot retryspam operation isn’t a five-person thing. It requires hundreds of kickers to make it work – VPNs, people who yell "Q-Q-Q-Q", people scanning the server. The only way a Tacobot operation can sustain itself is through public support. If Tako BellFan137 had gone after GasApes on his own Valve probably wouldn’t have even noticed the increase in apes being sent to the the main menu. But because the apes angered enough people with its attack on MvMlobbies, our “hangout”, the group consciousness, Tacobot, stepped up.

I’m not going to tell you that we are right or wrong. We did what we thought was best, supported those that were caught and continued on. The only thing I ask is just for one minute, just for one second, think!

> We are Tacobot.
> We are retryspammers.
> We do not idle.
> We do not F2.

> EXPECT US!